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 |   A look into my mind, the way I escape from reality. |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The title:"Mind the Shark's Teeth" and where it came from The title of this home for my head space was picked because of how my brain works. If I could picture the inside of my head, the entrance, it would be the jagged teeth of a sank shark looking back at me. Those serrated edges that look so sharp while that type of shark is the most common in an aquarium setting. They are those calm, lazy sharks swimming around slowly that look badass as all hell. Inspiration floods me like a dam that bursts forth with all that kinetic energy behind it when I'm inspired. My Experience: A lot of what I think stays trapped within. My thoughts rattle around my head building until I can release them by the tapping of keys. I'm the type of person that my inner world can feel more real and vibrant than the real world. Journaling has been a part of me since I was a kid, so I wanted to create the space for this. I noticed that my blogs and journals on here revealed a lot about myself so I'll be wearing a little more of a mask this time with revealing whatever inner stuff is cooking. I kind of fiddled with either "Boom Box of Life" or "Mind the Shark's Teeth" for my title this time. I decided to stick with the second one because I see my mind as having shark's teeth and the boom box, while fun, didn't have enough bite. This is involved in the give it a 100! deal, as well as The Bard's Annual Hall contest:
Plus I'm a part of these groups as well: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Let's hope I can keep up with my goal of 100 posts in a 100 days. My muse has been a happy little camper and less bitchy so I thought I'd take advantage of that. Challenge accepted: First day is June, 18th, 2016. Finish up day should be September 26th, 2016.  Update and Done:  I'm finished! September 26th, zero leave days, until I decide to hit another 100 days with this. ![Merit Badge in Give It 100
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Congratulations on successfully completing your [Link To Item #giveit100] project, writing a poem and a blog post every day for 100 days. What an amazing achievement! *^*Cool*^* Take a break - you deserve it.](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Give_It_100-1974153_9.gif) Here is my accountability:
Final Conclusion, I think: Enjoy the look into my mind, this should be fun. Oh, yeah, barrels of it, baby.  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ~~~~~~~~~~~~
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| PROMPT March 15th What are some ways you reduce stress and create happiness in your everyday life? I say focusing on the little things really help me get through a day and create happiness in my life. Say I made some amazing meal prepped food, got to go to one of my favorite places to eat, or had a really great work day overall. Or even just a ‘good’ day at work I can be grateful about. I really can’t remember the last bad day I had, I try not to categorize them as that and try to find some smidgen of goodness about it. I’m all about reducing stress. I’m hyper aware of it and when I feel stressed so I try to work hard on it. Say with music, deep breathing, or one of my favorites is to jot down all my worries in a self journaling exercise to understand the culprits of the possible stress. I love nature and being in it and that can reduce stress for me. I notice insects most wouldn’t and I pay attention to my surroundings as well as I can. I’ll meet with friends and spend time with them. I’ll go see a movie and lose myself in that. I’ll read a book and immerse myself in that world. Another thing about be to lose myself in my imagination and see what I can conjure up in new worlds and characters. I’ll light candles and listen to my wood ones crackle. Though that does sometimes distract my thoughts and throws me off trying to find the source of the sound. I’ll remind myself this has to pass. And maybe it’ll get worse before it passes? And maybe I won’t feel like I can survive it. But I can, I have before, I just gotta believe in my capabilities. |
3 D Talk Tuesday! If you had a "spirit animal" that wasn't an animal, what would yours be? (Pretty sure mine's a burrito in case anyone asks, but no one is and I could be totally wrong ). And what would you think some of your fellow bloggers' "spirit animals (that aren't animals)" are? What am I that I’m not an animal? So… Am I a Spirit Object? That is… strange. On others blogs, they’ve come up with better ideas than what I can think of. At first, I’m like a Taco. Because I love eating tacos. Then I’m like maybe a Taquito? Hard outer shell, delicious interior? Then I’m like maybe a dark chocolate marshmallow? But that sounds too mushy, gooey, internally. Which I am, but I have a harder outer shell than that. I am a geode. Rough, ugly exterior, then when you crack me just right the inside is beautiful with gems inside. Too pretty right there… I’m a geode mixed with a taquito. A Taquiede. Elycia Lee ☮   ’s would be a cartwheel. Totally. If she was something that wasn’t an animal as a spirit object. WakeUpAndLive️~Go Forth📖  would be a hilarious sketch on YouTube. Warped Sanity  would be an opal, fire changing with the light hitting it just right. paddy1 Would be a helicopter for their spirit object. Lostwordsmith  would be a Blacksmith. Just came into my mind with the ‘wordsmith’ and how their handle has that. And how a Blacksmith creates something unique, and functional, out of steel to mold it into the structure they want. And, Schnujo's in Alabama  is a potluck. What, potluck? Because I can see her bringing a bunch of people together like a potluck does. How everyone brings their favorite things to share and be together. Something like that. Mare ~ extended hiatus  is a journal to write all of your deepest thoughts and experiences in. I thought of this being her spirit object because she encourages so many others to share their life and experiences through memoir writing. Carol, Bride of Writingstein  is a Novel as her spirit object. Because she’s so incredibly knowledge on Novels. Or… a Librarian. A Ninja Librarian Novelist. Sounds pretty badass! Naveed Is a think tank. What, a think tank you say? Because they’re always coming up with awesome ideas, thoughts, are introverted, so their mind is probably like a paradise to escape into. I could take it the easy way and say Doctor Strange. But, I’m feeling like they are a literal Think Tank of Introverted Awesome. |
B C Day 988: October 2nd, 2016 Prompt. Prompt: When you were a kid, who did you most want to be like when you grew up? Was it particular athlete, a television or movie character, a superhero? Maybe even a family member? And in what way(s) did you emulate them? [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics: And I'll feel a guilty conscience grow She burns like the sun, and I can't look away She'll burn our horizons, make no mistake Come let the truth be shared, no one ever dared I feel like this song suits my answer to this question. I had one by another band with the title: Undercover Martyn by Two Door Cinema Club. Then this started playing and I’m like, yup, that in lyrics way describes the person I wanted to be as a kid. She’s like the sun, and you just can’t look away. She burns away the horizons and the truth wasn’t quite shared. Every time I’m honest about how I feel I want to bang my head because the guilt game is then played perfectly. It’s like a tiny violin is being orchestrated in the background of ‘all the things I’ve done for you how dare you tell me the truth.’ This question is one I’d rather not answer but hey, let’s do this. When I was a kid I wanted to be just like my mother. She’d tell me when she was angry at me that I was just like my father. It was, and still is, supposed to be the biggest insult she can dish out. My father is the exact opposite of her, you couldn’t find two people more different than those two. I exemplified my mother and tried desperately to get her to treat me like she did my brother. He seemed to have more of an ability to get her to stop when she turned vengeful and everyone was on her war path. Then I became an adult and realized the many colors that had been removed from my black and white lived world. I didn’t really relate to any characters on TV. I got into book reading later on in my life and read a lot of horse books. I didn’t admire any other female figure as much as my mother. Anyone who met her refers to her as a ‘hurricane, a force of nature’ in a human being pretty much. She could get her way anytime, anyway how. I don’t think she ever quite got what siblings were. She was and is an only child and lamented many a time how she got her way. My mother doesn’t have any family and maybe this was part of the thing about her. She never had to share, she never had anyone to trust and so I followed her words to never trust anyone except the family. Her mother and father were wrapped around her pinky finger. My brother and I had a lot of fights and I’m a lot younger than my brother, by a stretch. And she’d always be like “well, you should have walked away from him.” And it’s like he is six foot tall and has me in a choke hold and I’m supposed to walk away? This doesn’t really add up. My mother would start yelling at me for my brother slamming my head into a coffee table. We played rough and that’s why I know I can defend myself if I need to. I had enough practice with him to definitely get it down. With that said, even though we fought a lot growing up I always admired my brother. He was high up on my pedestal. I wanted him to try to even the playing field in our family. He wasn’t always on my side and my mother and him were, as my mother puts it, high up on the list while me and my father were at the very bottom. Good times, good times, right? My brother was that male figure in my life he was and is protective of me. He’s hated every guy I’ve ever dated. What’s a big brother for if not to give the stink eye to every guy you’ve ever gone out with? =====**===== Oct 2nd – Octo Prep NaNo Project Character List: Shani- Maji woman. Age is 40 years old, though she looks like she’s 20 years old with salt and pepper hair. She’s about 5’8” in height, pretty built and curvy. She has salt red eyes that shift within her irises like a crackling fire. General Smith- Shasmein man and Shani’s handler. He is 5’11” and muscular but without being ridiculously so. He is about 22 years old, with light brown hair and blue eyes. Lieutenant Logan- Shasmein man and a watcher for Shani when she is transferred to the Eastern military. He is 5’10” with dark, brown hair and blue eyes. He’s a little less muscular than General Smith and more jaunt. Shiou- Shani’s horse and they are ‘bonded’ meaning that their souls are intertwined. If one dies then the other may live, but they aren’t the same. They can lose their sanity by loosing the other and Shani’s only soft spot is for this horse. He’s incredibly smart and a different species. He is a colored horse with patches of white on his flanks. Commander Gregor- The man on the Eastern military who took Shani from the Northern sector. He’s built like a tank, very burly guy. He has blue eyes and short cropped, blond hair. Commander is 6 feet tall. Doctor Vorte- From the Eastern army who does some very bad things to Shani. He has white hair, thick, wide rimmed glasses. The man is short compared to the others, he’s only about 5’3”. He is half Maji, half Shasmein, and has one red eye and one blue eye. He treats his red eye with a serum to disguise that he is only part Shasmein. In news of my character not really giving me a minute alone, she's around, all the time. A new person Creature has stepped into this book I wasn't prepared to create. A Donestre which I've had in two new stories in my port. It's a creature of deception, half lion, half human, all trouble. I kind of am walking around seeing how he's going to play with another Donestre I have in another one of my books but is in a different timeline. I feel like when I'm talking about my Novels that it sounds like I have multipersonality disorder. But, Donestre are too much fun not to get my hands on. I just can't control him as well as the other, and I'm not sure Shani will be able to either. |
| War Chest Wednesday! A prompt from a previous challenger... Imagine yourself starring in your favorite cartoon. What role would you play and how would the episode turn out? I liked really messed up Cartoons… like Ren and Stimpy, Daria, and all sorts of the classics. I watched South Park, Futurama, Family Guy before it became super popular and got put on the air and was being shown only on Adult Swim. Cartoons were a fun place with me. Looney Tunes was a staple and basically any cartoon that wasn’t disney. We never owned a channel with Disney so I more had like Nickelodeon. I remember my brother and I laughing so hard at Ren and Stimpy when they had the space scene where he starts eating soap and freaking out. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x91e3a_ren-and-stimpy-space-madness_fun I love how every cartoon seems to focus if there is a duo that you have a Type A personality and a Type B personality which basically gets told what to do and follows around. The Type A personality suffers tremendously thanks to dick things done to the poor, paranoid little sap. The Ren and Stimpy episodes were so ridiculously tripped out. I remember it fitting my mind and personality just right. I was always that Type B personality being bossed around by the Type A who couldn’t calm the hell down. Ren and Stimpy, I’d be Stimpy but I’d be a lot more forthcoming to Ren. “This is my space ice cream bar!” “No, Ren, that’s a bar of soap.” I’d tell that poor messed up Chihuahua that has a skin condition. “Why does it look like an ice cream bar? Sandwiched between two marshmallow loaves of deliciousness…” “Because you have space madness.” I’m not exactly as happy go lucky follow happy as Stimpy. I kick back reading through ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’ researching for my portrayal of Lisbeth Salander within the WDC Masquerade party. “Did you bring ice cream?” “Yeah…. where ice cream should be, not in the bathtub, but in the freezer.” I open up the freezer door and the ice cream floats up into the air. The water circles around my head and I poke a droplet with my finger. It disperses and the wetness sticks to my index finger. ====*==== Day 913 September 7, 2016 Prompt: They say you can't go home again. Do you agree or disagree? [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics: It's hard to explain I said the right things But act the wrong way I like it right here I’ll agree with them, I can’t go home again. Home has become a place that is here and isn’t here at the same time. I’m an anomaly within my new living space and where I’m at now. I’m strong willed, wild, loud, and rather out of control. But, this is all wrapped up within a nice little wrapper of logic and calmness I hide the edges of myself from cutting others too close to me. I told myself it was okay to tell me my life hasn’t amounted to much. That you must be right because you always say you are. A broken record I’ve let play for far too long without replacing it until recently. I can’t return home because that home isn’t it anymore. When you become separated from that other side, you were close with those people, separation creates clarity. It also reminds you that you don’t need to stay in contact with anyone who makes you into something you don’t want to be. I was the one easily restrained and contained. Controlled so perfectly with my hair brushed back and a smile painted on my face. So, here I am now and I realize that everything is about control. Not being able to control me means you will hurt me with every little bit within you. You will use different ways and styles of manipulation to get me back with a collar around my neck. Head bowed, taking orders because that’s my job. To follow and speak only when you deem it fit. I have two kinds of home I see. The old way I used to live that I was raised was ‘okay.’ It’s never okay to create a less than image in someone else so that you can be the superior alpha dog with all the bark and so little bite. ====*===== Day 1393: September 7, 2016 Prompt words: research, civilization, hill, drunk, expansion, aftertaste. Have fun. Be Creative. I remember that haze I was in while I was drunk. I tried to research your preconceived notions of me as you told me I needed to offer more to the people who took everything. You didn’t know those little details though, how could you? There’s only one person who know about that. I attended my best friend’s party with the bar on the hill. My mind begged for expansion in the metaphorical and liquor sense. I knew my goal was to drink to the point of no return. I don’t know what it’d feel like, good, right? My trek into civilization took me to that Irish bar and I started off the night with a hard-edged martini. Vodka burned in my mouth with the aftertaste of my duress. I was pissed off royally so and I hoped she didn’t show up. This girl I considered a friend but she didn’t understand who or what I was. My friend talked to other girls who showed up for the party event. They came and left while I still kept drinking. I was so angry and that chick showed up. We made sure not to meet each other’s eyes or vision. I’m sure the awkward tension was maybe felt by my one friend. "You were a major bitch, by the way," I wanted to tell her. I never did and I'm glad I didn't. She had a way of spinning things back to herself. I also didn't want to hurt her even though I was so hurt I decided to drink myself literally sick. I had so much anger, anonymity brewing within me. How what she said to me was actually meant to be said in that moment as a kind of 'wake up call.' I was admitting to her my qualms and somehow she made it about me giving more than what I was already doing. She didn't have a clue about the scars I wore and hid under sleeves and different perceptions of myself. She didn't get the shit I've trodded through to come across another river of it. Shot, after shot, drink after drink, tossed down my gullet. The world took on a wonderfully numb edge for my so easy to be over processed brain. This was my first trip down the fully drunk rabbit hole. I had more drinks than ever since these guys who wanted to do my friend kept buying more. I become louder and even more daring when already I’m so far off the edge I don’t know how I don’t tumble to the rocks awaiting below. I’d do that night all over again, every drink, every word said, I had someone drive me home. It was the first night I ever got sick from drinking, which never happened before. My body revolted while my mind enjoyed the numb edges created. It enjoyed that absence of being and thinking and overthinking how I do so well all the time. Blissfully the aftertaste of my duress was washed down by the water clearing my mouth of all my extreme party stagnantly staying within my lips. |
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So good to have you back. 
I felt ship-wrecked at times. 