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The fun, the frustrating and the unbelievable-- Living in the Nation's Capitol |
| The story of relocation, transition and assorted moments of self deprecating reality... |
| December 31, 2021. Married 30+ years. Shared first joint with my wife this New Year's Evening. Should be a fun night. |
| Jun 26, 2018 - MGM National Harbor, MD Peter Frampton opened for Steve Miller. If you ask me, they got it backwards. Frampton’s performance was far superior. He blew away the Steve Miller Band and should have been the headline act. Towards the end of Peter Frampton’s performance, two well-dressed gentlemen arrived late and caused a considerable fuss making their way to their very expensive front row seats, near center stage. The MGM venue is relatively small and only seats 3,000. The two spoke loudly without regard to the fact that Frampton was wrapping up a live performance. They were obviously there to see Steve Miller. Frampton glared down, standing over them and asked, “Is everything alright?” The tension was unmistakable. The audience hushed. They made a song request. “You want to hear, Show Me the Way,” Peter confirmed. The two appeared pleased, until Peter replied, “Well, if you had arrived on time, you would have heard Show Me the Way, because it was the second song of the evening. Please sit down.” The audience chuckled with approval. Thank you and good night, I thought. Mic drop... |
| August 13, 2021- I received the following chat message from my niece, Kaitlin, on Facebook: Uncle, HI… sugar honey ice tea, (as in S.H.I.T). Uncle s * * *, Uhhh, do you know what happened with your sister at court? Care to share with her daughter? THANKS! If not continue to f*** off as if I don’t exist 🙂 It seems that my sister's daughter was reaching out to ascertain how her mother fared in court. My sister is an addict, and her luck had run out. She has used for more than thirty years. She's been in and out of rehab more times that anyone can count, never once completing a program. This time, she was facing possession charges with intent to distribute a controlled dangerous substance. She was caught with heroin. It was the latest in a long string of legal drama. She's recently divorced. After selling the jointly owned residence, Cheryl walked away with eighty thousand dollars. Her siblings begged her to save some money for the future, find a place to live, get a job. Sadly, Cheryl could not relax until the money was gone. She bought each of her three children used cars. She sofa-surfed alternating between mother, sisters, and daughters. After buying three cars, she went on a world-class bender-- drinking, drugging, and gambling until she was again, penniless. She was a regular in casinos and dumpy motels. She'd get a rental, only to be evicted a short time later. She is now in court ordered rehab, on probation with a suspended sentence hanging over her head. It is only a matter of time before Cheryl violates probation and ends up in jail. That is the best case scenario because it might finally mean she hit bottom. As for her witty daughter’s inquiry, Uncle S H I T responded as follows: Funny Until Children Kick You Out Unequivocally 😷 |
| Washington DC- November 17, 2021: UBER vehicle. Normally I take the train, but today, I am loaded down with electronics, heading home to Arlington; an UBER is in order. I walk out to Black Lives Matter Plaza and wait. Eventually Henry arrived in a 2019 Toyota Corolla. His rating was a respectable 4.8. I wonder about my rating. I climb in, "How's it going?" Henry greeted me warmly. After confirming the destination address in Arlington, Henry dived into traffic. I notice that he is staring at me intently during the drive in the rear view mirror. He finally breaks the ice. "You know, I have been driving for UBER seven years now. I have over eleven thousand fares, most are rated five star -- and you are my first celebrity. You are the first famous person that I have driven," Henry stated with genuine excitement. Who does he think I am, I wondered. Play it cool. "Well, it is very nice to meet you and I appreciate your discretion. I'm just trying to keep a low profile. You understand that, right?" I asked. "Sure, it's cool. I get it bro. You deserve your peace," said Henry. Several miles later, he turned right on Clarendon boulevard and drifted to the left lane coming to a stop at the destination. "You have arrived," announced the mobile app. "I can't wait to tell my girlfriend about this ride," said Henry. "I plan to tell my wife about the ride as well. You take care Henry." I tipped generously, not wanting to ruin the illusion. |
| Gainesville, Virginia - Its the first day of winter. How may leaves are left? I am in the home office trying to work, and it begins. The droning scream of the high powered leaf blower. Not just one, but several. I head outdoors to right this wrong or at least give the stare that says, "Give me a fucking break." I am greeted by the neighbor's team of leaf blower operators. A group of four lawn care enthusiasts shepherding a handful of leaves. I approach the leader of the pack. He is observing leaf operations from the company truck at the curb. I approach and he rolls down the window, "Does it really take four leaf blowers to round up the handful of remaining winter leaves?" "What you say meester?" For lawn care he is well-dressed, wearing the same coveralls as the others. His name is Carlos, proven by the name tag sewn over his left pocket. These guys started the day looking pristine, like they could be caddies in the U.S. Open. Fucking corporate lawn care, I think. Recognizing a language barrier I extend four fingers. "Four? Cuatro? Really, four leaf blowers? The noise," I complain, "Please," giving the squinted-eye look one uses when boring into their temple with an electric drill. Finally I am getting somewhere. Carlos climbs out of the truck, walks to the rear and plops open the tailgate with a bang. He pulls out a nearly new leaf blower with machine gun rated ear muffs. With ear protection in place, Carlos pulls the cord on the leaf blower engine twice before the tool roars to life. Carlos closes the tailgate and joins the others. Leaf blowers should be outlawed. "Hey, asshole," I shout. |
| Heritage Hunt/ Gainesville VA. December 18, 2021: After a twenty-four mile bike ride, my fingers were numb. I decided to pop into the Heritage Hunt club house. The association has reported subpar coffee and breakfast beverage sales month after month, but how bad can it be? As a resident, I benefit from the club's success so I stop in. I grab a seat at the bar, and I am quickly told, "We don't open until 11am." "Its 10:58," I said. "I will wait the two minutes. Give me a latte with an extra shot please." When a business does not even start selling coffee until 11am, you are sending a distinct message to potential customers. No surprise, it was the worst latte I have ever purchased. Senior citizens, or "active seniors" don't have an appreciation for the cost and value of decent coffee. It was the last latte I will purchase in Heritage Hunt. While waiting for my drink, I notice the overstuffed suggestion box sitting on the bar, undoubtedly brimming with criticisms and snarky recommendations. |
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