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a journal |
 This book is intended as a place to blog about my life and things I'm interested in and answers to prompts from various blog prompt sites here on WDC, including "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"  and "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" I'm not sure yet what it'll turn into, but I'm going to have fun figuring it out. |
| Do you think people are aware of their own emotional needs and habits all the time? What about artists and writers? Are they more aware than other people? Okay, this is going to get convoluted. No, I don’t think that people are always aware of their own emotional needs and habits. I see this when I see people engage in self destructive behaviors—not because they want to destroy themselves (although that’s possibly an unconscious desire) but because they aren’t aware of what their emotional needs are. It’s like the girl who keeps on dating bad boys because that’s who she’s attracted to—so much so that when a nice guy comes along, she refuses to even look at him because he doesn’t treat her the way she expects to be treated and so it obviously isn’t love (not realizing perhaps that she would do better to go for that quiet love than a love that is defined by continual emotional hurt). The point is, that yes, we mess up. We think we want one thing and our habits push us towards something and we really need something—and sometimes those three things fight against each other until we are left with emotional messes, which are frustrating to try to clean up. Writers and artists are complicated. We’re natural observers. We see other people’s emotional messes (and then we take them and turn them into our art—it’s easier to create story around an emotional mess than stability—which is why most families in fiction are dysfunctional to some extent). But, just because we see things and write things and know our characters, it doesn’t mean that we’re able to turn that discerning eye onto our own lives. It’s much easier to see someone else’s emotional knots than to turn the microscope inward and figure out what makes our own lives tick. So, no, people are not aware all the time about their emotional needs and habits. Writers and artists tend to be self aware, however, even they are not aware of their emotional needs and habits if we’re going to include the defining phrase “all the time” in the question. And I don’t know if we’re more aware than other people. The problem is, it’s hard to do that comparison without climbing into someone else’s head. Which reminds me of a complicated fact (aphorism? Actually, I’m not sure where I heard this, so it may not be entirely factual): Psychologists have come up with (several) series of questions to determine whether a person is clinically insane. On at least one of those tests, they noticed a problem. Some of their control subjects, genius level, stable control subjects, tested higher than they should on the insanity spectrum. The reason? How does a genius honestly answer: Do you see things that other people don’t? Or an artist? Or a writer? Or someone who is off his meds or on hallucinogenic drugs . . . |
| Let's see where your creative genius takes you with this quote by Leonardo Da Vinci. Begin what ever you write with "I love those who can smile in trouble… " I love those who can smile in trouble. I have several of them in my family, of course. The ones who grin grins that look like they were mirrored off of little imps from hell. I don't have children of my own, but I've seen those smiles on my sister Madeline's face when she used to stand in the doorway and look and Mama and Mama would open her eyes wider and shake her head no and count her fingers, 1, 2, 3, and Madeline would grin even wider and scamper off. Mad hit the terrible twos at eighteen months and then spent the next year or so of life trying her hardest to kill herself--not directly, of course. With mischief. I see the same look on little Eddie's face when he is standing by a door we've told him not to open. He is gifted at opening doors and climbing fences, and ending up down the road a ways. But we know just when he's plotting another escape attempt. It's in that smile. I see it at church. There's a family--the father is my brother's age, the mother is a good friend, and they have four--two boys and two girls. Now, they may not be plotting anything, but whenever I see their faces (even the baby) and their smiles, I can see that they have the potential for mischief, and it makes me smile and want to gather them in for a hug and possibly get out a camera to record what happens next. After all, with a smile like that, something is going to happen . . . Of course, this probably twisted the original quote into something I wanted to talk about. After all, in trouble doesn't mean as they cause trouble . . . but then again, maybe it should. |
| Tell us about the most amazing place in nature that you’ve been to. What made it so amazing for you? This is a difficult question. I’ve seen some spectacular things. I’ve been to Niagara Falls and climbed down a stair wet from the spray where the water thundered loud enough that conversation had to be held shouting. Looking up, I saw rainbows as though I were walking through them in my yellow poncho. I’ve watched a twig rush past at the top as though it were eager to vanish over the edge. That was amazing. I’ve stood on the rim of the Grand Canyon. It was a clear day and I could see the far rim, so far away that it seemed impossible that water could have done it. That was amazing. I saw the desert burning, saguaro reaching up long limbs in supplication to the sky with no possibility of salvation. The fires seemed wrong there—when I think of natural fires, I think in a forest where there is wood to burn, not the desert where everything is so compact, so vital. I saw the same desert again the next spring, when it bloomed. That was amazing. Deep in Ohio, there’s a pool that we saw where the water is so deep that it has no oxygen. Its taste was strange to me because we’re used to water that has known the touch of air. That was amazing. I’ve seen a spider build a web across our carport every morning for the past week. That was amazing. When I see nature, I am continually amazed. |
| “Your ambition should be to get as much life out of living as you possibly can, as much enjoyment, as much interest, as much experience, as much understanding. Not simply be what is generally called a 'success.'" ~ Eleanor Roosevelt Is this good advice and do you think it is doable? I do think that’s good advice. Living life as much as possible without compromising who I am—I try to do that. I don’t always succeed, but I try to live so that I can continually learn, grow, improve. I don’t know how to live differently than that. I experience through doing and through reading and through writing. That’s part of who I am. I know that there are some people who would think that because I don’t jump out of airplanes or want to perform in front of millions of people—because I don’t need fame or adrenaline (technically, when I get an adrenaline response, my first reaction is to check my blood sugar) that I’m somehow not experiencing life to its fullest. I think that’s wrong. When I was in high school, there was a couple that I knew who seemed to live as though their lives should be on a soap opera. Full of breakups and get back togethers and shouting matches. I know that I didn’t want that kind of life or that kind of love. I don’t want to live a life that is driven by jealousy or drama. I prefer the quiet. That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy myself. I find moments of enjoyment in whatever I’m doing. I find the world interesting. And I think that I grow in understanding as I experience my quiet life in a way that people who live too loudly can’t see. Now, they make their own choices. I’m not telling someone that it’s wrong to seek thrills or fame or fortune. It’s just not necessary for success. |
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