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 |  is paved with good intentions... |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Hi, I'm Elle. I'm based in Auckland, New Zealand. I'm the mother of two young adults, the wife of an entrepreneurial gamer and the Queen of Unfinished Projects. This blog will contain poems, short stories, possibly photos and book reviews if you're lucky, and my thoughts on a variety of topics. Hope you enjoy it. |
"There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page and closing the book." ~Josh Jameson ~ "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise"  This prompt came at the perfect time for me, but I just ran out of time to answer it. Which sounds contradictory now that I've written it, but I'll explain. I've had a number of requests from people for me to review their books on my blog (and Goodreads and Amazon, of course). It's weird, because I've had my blog for two years now, and have only 215 followers, which just isn't that many in the blogging world. But all of a sudden, I'm getting a flurry of requests. It was extremely flattering, and now it's a bit bewildering and overwhelming. Saying no is hard! These have been the requests so far:  Understanding Libby by Charity Marie (non-fiction) - have agreed to do a beta read When They Do by Sara Breaker (contemporary romance) - author didn't offer a free copy, so I would have to buy it first. Have ignored request so far. Beauregard and the Beast by Evie Drae (contemporary m/m romance) - read and reviewed (3 stars) Only Skin Between Us by Katie Scott - read and reviewed (2 stars) Across The Fourwinds by Shane Trusz and Darryl Frayne (YA fantasy) - have ignored request so far. Seems like it's aimed at a younger audience than me. The Ninth Ingredient by Leon Mauvais (historical erotic romance) - halfway through reading. Will explain in more detail below. Journey of the Heart by Stephanie Burkhart (Christian romance) - have agreed to read and review The Kingmaker Contest (epic fantasy) - have agreed to read and review. Cave Man by Aedan Sayla (historical Christian erotica) - declined request.Strictly speaking, the first one wasn't a request for a review so much as it was a request for a beta read, which is a private review rather than a public one. I've been totally slack ass on that one, mostly because the book is in Word format, not mobi, which means I have to read it in front of my computer and can't read it on my phone as I normally do. Same with Journey of the Heart which is in PDF format. Both are by WDC authors though, so I want to make the effort. Charity has been waiting aaaages though. I feel bad.  Only Skin Between Us was a weird one for me. I didn't get a blurb and just launched straight into it. I assumed that if the author had read my blog, that they wouldn't have offered me anything other than a romance. The title sounds like a romance, right? #rookiemistake  It was not a romance. I don't know what it was. You can check out my review here: "Only Skin Between Us" . Anyway, it's not a book I would have ever chosen to read, and so that wasn't a good start. On top of that, it needed some serious editing. But it got worse. Because then I started reading The Ninth Ingredient. The blurb makes it out to be a story about an apprentice baker in France. I'm not sure exactly when, but in the era of horses and carts, and noblemen and what-have-you. He is given a quest to find the recipe for gelato that is winning over the noblemen of France, but he falls in love with the maker of the gelato and is faced with a dilemma - his career or his love? Sounds okay. Spoiler alert, it's not okay.  I had to put the book down after getting 44% through it. Things that are wrong so far: - After reading 44% of the book, we still haven't met, seen or heard of the person he supposedly falls in love with. WTF?  You can't have a romance novel with the couple not even having met after 44% of the book! On top of that, it's not even that they haven't met, but the reader has no idea who the love interest will be. None whatsoever! I'm baffled.- The protagonist is awful. Like, I'm genuinely wanting him to get his comeuppance. Like, I'm wishing he'd get run over by a horse and cart and just do the world a favour and die. He's a bully. He takes great delight in making other people miserable. He refuses to acknowledge or take responsibility for his mistakes and will find any reason not to apologise. He doesn't learn from his mistakes either. He expects other people to think he's amazing, even though he has put in zero effort to earn their admiration or respect, and then thinks they're stupid for not recognising his brilliance. He won't work for his achievements but prefers to take the easy route or steal the glory from others. - There was a horrific sex scene. It was consensual, which is the only good thing I can say about it. I won't go into details, but suffice it to say, no one wants to read about any form of oral sex where the receiving party gloats that 'I haven't washed in months'.  I just about threw up reading that scene. And just so you know, it was very detailed and graphic. So here I am. I'm 44% of the way through this book, and I refuse to read any more. There is no way this book can be redeemed to anything above two stars, and right now it's sitting really really solidly at one star. I actually wish I could go into negative stars, that's how much it grates on me. How do I respond to the author who requested the review? And do I even post a rating or review on Goodreads or Amazon? I'm tempted to, because I feel like people need to be warned, but I also feel bad because the author asked for a review and... I hate it. What do I do???? I know how to give constructive criticism, I know how to deliver negatives sandwiched between positives. I even made a note that the author had beautiful imagery in their writing, so I could have something positive to say. But this is a completed book, not a work in progress, and the author requested a public review so they could sell more copies. Ugh. This is tough. |
| Write about a fear you experienced as a child that you have since overcome. ~ "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" I wasn't afraid of much as a child. I was the middle child of three girls, and both my sisters were afraid of strangers, water, unknown dogs, and were timid to the point where saying that they were afraid of public speaking is ludicrous because they wouldn't even say hello to a friend or relative of my parents that they weren't familiar with. I wasn't like that. I wasn't afraid of hardly anything. Strangers didn't bother me, I'd talk to anyone. Literally anyone. I certainly wasn't afraid of water, because I used to go and jump in any swimming pool I saw. Dad tells a story about me jumping in a neighbour's swimming pool and me sinking to the bottom and then gasping for a breath when I rose to the surface. "Are you going to rescue her?" the neighbour asked, alarmed. "No," my dad replied, "I'll wait until she's not coming up in time for a breath, then I'll fish her out." So I'd sink and rise, grabbing a breath every time I hit the surface until I wasn't coming up fast enough, and then he'd fish me out. I couldn't swim, but it didn't bother me. I guess I believed I was never in danger of drowning because my dad would save me. I wasn't afraid of animals because I grew up on a farm. Although, so did my sisters and I'm sure I remember them being afraid of strange dogs. Maybe I was just lacking a fear gene.  I wasn't afraid of the dark because I never believed in monsters under the bed (or aliens). Again, I guess I always felt safe in my house so what did I have to be afraid of after the lights were out? I wasn't afraid of storms, in fact I loved them. Still do. I suppose my big fear was not being liked. A social anxiety, I guess, that started at primary school. I'm not sure exactly how old I would have been when it started, but I know I had it by the time I was 11. I wasn't afraid of strangers or public speaking, but I never had many friends, and I used to get teased a lot. So I guess I was afraid people wouldn't like me, wouldn't want to be my friend, and they'd tease me. I was most often teased for being overweight (my nickname was Ellenormous), and one 'fear' that manifested from that was a sort of fear of hugs. I would probably have said I disliked hugs rather than was afraid of them. But I would be afraid that someone would feel how fat I was when we hugged, and therefore it kind of was a fear of hugs. Formal dancing became an issue for the same reason, because it meant a guy had to put his hand on my waist. Here's a couple of photos of me at primary school to illustrate how 'fat' I was.   And this was early high school:  So yeah, I was never big enough to be termed enormous. As a teenager, I kind of developed my social fears further. I became afraid of embarrassing myself in front of others (hence I wouldn't drink alcohol or do drugs, because I was afraid of losing my inhibitions and making a fool of myself). Oh my god, that's why Jayden doesn't like alcohol.  I knew he was like me in that regard, but I didn't connect the dots that it was because he was teased and has always struggled to maintain friendships. Shit. I mean, there are worse things to pass on to your child than a dislike for alcohol and drugs, but ugh, such a shitty reason to be afraid of them.I became afraid of never getting a boyfriend or eventual husband and being alone for the rest of my life, which led me to being grateful for any interest regardless of whether I was actually genuinely interested in them in return. Jayden seems to be more confident in that regard than I was, interestingly enough. If I'd had a myriad of fears to choose from, I probably wouldn't have picked this one for one that I've 'since overcome', but as it's really the only fear I had, it's the only one I can talk about. Have I overcome it? Somewhat. I still have a fear of embarrassing myself in front of others. I really struggle to make a fool of myself in front of anyone who isn't family. I guess I don't have a fear of being teased or excluded, as such, but I still struggle to move beyond the 'work colleague' zone to the 'friend' zone. As you know from Quills, I still don't have a fear of public speaking or strangers, but I don't do well at social events where I don't know anyone. For instance, if I was at a Writing.com convention, I would have no trouble standing up in front of everyone and giving a speech. Or if I saw someone who was visibly nervous or shy, I'd rock on up and introduce myself and talk to them. But I'd really struggle to go and talk to people otherwise. I'd hover near a group and hope to be invited into the circle.  The more confident someone is, the more shy I become. And pretty people intimidate the fuck out of me. If I have an excuse, I'm fine. I can go and ask someone if that seat is taken, if they need any assistance, if they know the directions to the nearest [insert destination here] but not to just go up and say 'Hi, I'm Elle' and make conversation. Nope.So there you have it. I know I'm a bit different from many of the people on Writing.com who didn't have childhoods where they felt happy, safe and loved. It makes for much less interesting blog entries. But I can't say I wish it were different. It's what I've tried to give my children. And I think I've probably succeeded in that they weren't afraid of much as children - not strangers, the dark, monsters, storms, animals or water. Caitie developed anxiety relating to fear of failure at school and she has also developed a dislike of crowds that can manifest as anxiety. No idea where the crowd thing came from because none of the rest of us have it. Jayden probably has exactly the same social issues that I do. Ah well. No one is perfect, and we wouldn't like them if they were.  Oh, and just to take this prompt a step further... As an adult, I've developed a sense of vertigo which is not really a fear of heights but similar. I now need a very definite (safe!) boundary between me and the potential to fall. So if I feel safe from falling, I'm fine, but if the potential for a fall is there, I'm not. I've even had the vertigo sensation on escalators and watching movies. But I'm fine with standing in the Sky Tower and looking through the glass floors, or being on a roller coaster. Maybe it's a fear of falling rather than a fear of heights? I don't have a phobia of spiders or ants, but I would say I have a fear of them if they disappear. If I know where they are, I'm okay. I can look at them, whatever. But if they disappear and I don't know where they've gone, I'll freak out. We don't even have poisonous ants or spiders here, and our ants don't even bite, but ants are so small they can go anywhere.  I've developed a fear of small spaces where I can't turn around. So, totally fine in an elevator or closet, whatever, but not in a tunnel where I couldn't turn around. I literally have nightmares about this. No idea where it's come from as I've never been stuck in a tunnel in my life. Oh, I know one! Not from childhood, but from late teens/adulthood. I have a pretty serious fear of vomiting. I will endure just about anything if it means I don't have to vomit. Steve used to make himself throw up when he'd drunk too much so he wouldn't have a bad hangover. There's no way I could do that. I will literally put up with just about anything if it means no vomiting. It's a legit fear, not just a dislike. And I don't have a fear of blood, but I definitely don't have the stomach for gore anymore. And I can't watch scary movies since I saw The House on Haunted Hill when I was about 19. So yeah, those are some of my more normal adult fears. I wasn't afraid of much as a child, but as an adult I'm more normal in that regard. |
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