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 |  is paved with good intentions... |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Hi, I'm Elle. I'm based in Auckland, New Zealand. I'm the mother of two young adults, the wife of an entrepreneurial gamer and the Queen of Unfinished Projects. This blog will contain poems, short stories, possibly photos and book reviews if you're lucky, and my thoughts on a variety of topics. Hope you enjoy it. |
A new day. More changes. Do you feel every new day offers a chance for better changes in life? ~ "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise"  Yeah, I do, but today feels like one of those days where it's 'One door closes and another one opens...' At least I hope so. On Tuesday I sent Jayden a text message telling him to come straight home after work, as I knew he got paid, but he owes us quite a lot of money and I wanted to talk to him about it before he blew it all. He said 'ok'. He never came home on Tuesday night. Wednesday night we came home from work, and still no sign of Jayden. We were actually starting to worry, until we realised he'd eaten a bowl of leftover rice risotto out of the fridge. So he'd been home, just not when we were home. Today (Thursday) he finally came home. Steve spoke to him first and apparently he'd been avoiding us. Literally not coming home when he thought we'd be home. But he miscalculated and didn't realise that today was a public holiday and so we ran into him. "Why are you avoiding us?" "I didn't want a lecture." The last time I talked to him, I explained to him that if he actively avoids us, I have to do the 'important' stuff in the few rare moments I can grab with him. If he wants casual conversation, he needs to spend MORE time with me, not less.  Anyway, he finally admitted that he'd been fired from his job. Took them long enough. He's been taking the piss with that job, turning up late every day, often more than an hour late. I don't mean sometimes more than an hour late, I mean usually more than an hour late. Monday he didn't work at all because he forgot to take his steel cap boots in with him, and when he rang Steve and Steve told him there were some by the front door, he couldn't find them. We came home from work and Steve found them 30 seconds later. Jayden didn't bother looking for them because he didn't want to go to work. So he didn't work on Monday, went in late on Tuesday and got fired. So we had a talk. If you can call it a talk when Jayden doesn't really participate. We talked at him. Told him that he needs to go see WINZ (to get an unemployment benefit) and to the doctor for a referral for mental health assistance. He has established (by way of previous doctor visits) that working stresses Jayden out, to the point where it makes him sick or he tries to avoid going to work. But he doesn't DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! He hasn't sought help or anything. Indeed, he seems to go to the doctor, get advice or medication, then ignore said advice or medication. So frustrating. Steve said it's a form of self harm and I guess it is, albeit subconsciously. It's so hard now that he's 18, because we can't MAKE him do anything, we can only suggest. And we're the last people he's interested in listening to, for whatever reason. He's asleep at the moment, but hopefully with some guidance, assistance, support, whatever from us, he can arrange to get the unemployment benefit while he looks for more work, he will make a doctor's visit and get a referral for mental health support and actually GO and see someone about his mental health issues. It shouldn't cost us much because we have health insurance. It's more that he doesn't want to go, but avoiding it and trying to deal with it on his own isn't working. Ah well, as frustrating as it is to have him unemployed again, maybe this is the opportunity to get him on the road to being healthy so that he can really start to make some progress towards being a healthier, happy, functioning adult. |
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