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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Hi, I'm Elle. I'm based in Auckland, New Zealand. I'm the mother of two young adults, the wife of an entrepreneurial gamer and the Queen of Unfinished Projects. This blog will contain poems, short stories, possibly photos and book reviews if you're lucky, and my thoughts on a variety of topics. Hope you enjoy it. |
| Do you ever feel like an imposter? When it comes to writing, I do. Blogging is where I feel most secure, because I've been doing it for so long (since 2001), but also because I know I have found my personal 'voice'. It feels easy and natural. I wouldn't say it's overly successful though. In the last month I've had: - 67 likes and 6 comments on my 15 Wordpress posts - 2 likes and 1 comment on my 26 visible Livejournal posts - 17 likes and 26 comments on my 26 Writing.com blog posts Clearly Livejournal is a big fat fail, but I kinda knew that already. I continue to use it because a) it has all my posts dating back to 2001, and b) I can make entries private, custom or public and even backdate late entries. It's my master copy. Very few people read it anymore though. Writing.com is far more successful in terms of interaction, but Wordpress is seen by more people. Either way, those stats are teeny tiny in the big blogging world. I definitely feel fraudulent when it comes to poetry. I see others out there with great technical skills or deep meaning or angst or whatever. Mine are just... nothing. Like, sometimes they're pretty, or sometimes they seem like they contain deep emotion and/or angst, but it's not really there. It's not my emotion or angst. Very rarely at least. I simply don't have that much angst to put into my poetry. I had a happy childhood, I've been in a happy, secure relationship since I was 20... I just don't have life experience of dark horrors, and yet pretty happy poetry doesn't seem to be my forte either. *shrugs* I mean, my life hasn't been perfect. I'm not saying that at all. I've got issues like everyone else does. I'm just not sure they're the kind that translate into poetry worth reading. Or maybe I just don't have the skills to do that. Now I'm doing a novel writing class. It officially starts on Thursday. And I'm freaking out. I don't have characters begging for me to tell their stories. I don't have ideas for plots. I don't have anything. I literally can't think of an original character who isn't a real person or a character I've read in a book. And yet, I need one. Sure, I can come up with superficial ideas for characters. And maybe even superficial ideas for plots (but nothing that would stand up to close scrutiny). I don't know how the rest of you do this, I really don't. |
| Morning commuters stream out of Britomart, scurrying to work, chattering away on near-invisible devices about their weekend plans or today's urgent meeting or how she just doesn't understand why we can't renovate the bathroom yet, sidestepping the pile of unadorned blankets and the man huddled within. I note, without ever making eye contact, his small comforts - the bag of bread rolls, the newspaper, a discarded disposable coffee cup - as though they might alleviate lingering guilt when I walk to Vulcan Lane for my lunch. But on Queen Street, curled up on cold concrete, meager belongings pillowing his head, no food, no blankets, no shoes, sleeps a man, and I sidestep him and keep walking because I can't be late for work. Free verse. 20 lines. Written for "Word Pictures Contest"  . |
| I have a photo of you, delighted by a rare sweet indulgence, the simplest gift, laughing, for no sooner opened than 'shared'.  I have a photo of you, strumming, smiling, a familiar soundtrack as we recover from Christmas lunch.  Now I take too many photos that you're not in, your abandoned role at center stage appropriated. And as presents pass to eager hands without guesses from absurd to accurate, without shaking, rattling, squishing and impatient encouragement... it's not the same. Free verse, 26 lines. |
| Ask someone you trust the following question and write about their answer: “What are my best qualities and what are my worst qualities?” ~ "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" Elle: "Steve, I'm doing a blog prompt on Writing.com and I need to ask you a question." Steve: "A question or lots of questions?" Elle: "Two questions." Steve: "Okay, what are they?" Elle: "What are my best qualities and what are my worst qualities?" Steve: "I refuse to answer on grounds I'll incriminate myself." Elle: "Wow. Just wow." Steve: "Your best qualities are your boobs. Your worst quality is my lack of access to them. How does that sound?" Elle: "Terrible." Steve: "Terrible?" Elle: "Yes." A long pause. Steve: "Your best qualities would be that you're loyal and lovable. Your worst qualities would be subjective but probably your.... Your... Housework and your thing of not being able to finish anything you start quickly. There you go. Have I incriminated myself enough?" Elle: "Yep. Thank you." I called it. Didn't I call it, Charlie ~  ? Told you he'd say my lack of housework was my worst quality.  Nice to know that being lovable is one of my best qualities.  And so funny that he thinks my worst qualities are subjective but not my best ones. Because of course EVERYONE must think I'm lovable.  |
Write an entry inspired by any three WDC emoticons. ~ "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"    The Fine Wine Delivery Company had a free tasting of Bordeaux wines on Saturday, which was pretty cool. It's easy for us to taste New Zealand wines, because we can visit the local wineries, etc. But French wines are harder to try without buying a whole bottle, and then you run the risk of buying a bottle that you don't like. They had both left bank and right bank wines, but I didn't notice any real preference either way. Maybe the left bank wines were drier? I prefer a wine that isn't dry. We tried to discern a preference for a varietal mix, but (for instance) we tried two wines that were both 100% merlot and loved one, and disliked the other. *shrugs* It's so confusing! It seems to be more a case of knowing the exact wine you like and just remembering that. Which doesn't make it easy. How are you supposed to identify whether you might like a wine when you see it for sale online or in a store, or on a wine list in a restaurant? So despite the fact that I felt like I didn't learn much, it was really good because we identified a bunch of wines we didn't like and some that we did. And of course, we bought half a dozen to stock up our wine rack. Well, we actually bought two of the Bordeaux that I liked, and two that Steve liked. Then we bought a bottle of Coole Swan (which I love and I'd finished my last bottle - if you like Baileys, you must try Coole Swan) and a bottle of Clearview Estate Sea Red (a red dessert wine that I love and had run out of). As of now, we have 30-odd bottles. It's 30 in the main wine rack (which doesn't include my ports and fortified wines) and then a couple of 'special wines' that are hidden away because they need cellaring for a few years. It's better if they're not exposed to light if they're going to be cellared for a while. We don't really have the room to cellar a whole bunch, but we've got a couple stashed away. I really liked that they had a printout of all the wines, and pens so that you could make notes of the ones you liked and the ones you didn't. It made it so much easier. They also had cheese, crackers and bread available. Not bad for a free event! I was really impressed. They even had the cumin gouda I like.  Actually, I noticed that the cheese improved the flavours of the wines.These were the wines we tried, and my notes on them: Chateau Giscours Petite Sirene 2015 - Light. Steve liked it. We bought a bottle. Chateau La Fleur Bellevue 2015 - Okay. Just a touch sharp for me. Chateau Pont Rousset 2016 - Drinkable. A little dry. Steve liked it. We bought a bottle. Chateau du Taillan 2014 - Deep flavour, but a touch sharp. Needs some cellaring. Chateau Fongaban 2016 - Light and drinkable. Chateau du Brandelet 2016 - Drinkable but no wow factor. Chateau Plaisance 2016 - No. Chateau Lauretan 2015 - Slight woody smell. Quaffable. No aftertaste. We bought a bottle. Chateau Teyssier 2016 - No, too sharp for me. Labastide de Dauzac 2015 - Nice flavour, but a touch too sharp. Maybe needs cellaring? La Closerie de Camensac 2015 - Light and drinkable. Clarendelle by Haut Brion Saint Emillion AOC 2015 - Very drinkable, no strong aftertaste. It had been open for three hours when we tried it and the assistant told us it definitely needs decanting for a few hours before drinking. We bought a bottle. Chateau Dallau 2016 - Average. Dryish mouth feel. Not wowed. Chateau La Rose du Pin 2015 - Light. Watery. A touch sharp. Chateau Lestage Simon 2015 - Didn't like it. Dryish mouth feel. Chateau Senejac 2015 - Woody smell. A touch too sharp for me. Chateau de Lamarque Marquis d'Evry 2015 - Dry mouth feel. Just to be clear, 'drinkable' pretty much means I liked it. And quaffable means I found it really easy to drink, which is a high compliment.  I know my notes are pretty crap (just 'no'! ), but at least I can look back and see if I'd be happy to have it again or not.After the tasting, which my sister and Dad came to, we went to the appliance store next door. Not sure why, but they seemed to want to browse. *shrugs* I found the perfect wine fridge. It's the exact right size for the space in our kitchen (which was built for a fridge but is too small for our actual fridge/freezer). It's designed to keep wines at the perfect cellaring temperature, rather than for refrigerating beverages to drinking temperature. I want it! Alas, it was $2,500 and Steve said 'Hell no'. We don't have that kind of money, so I get it, but ugh. It's perfect. And then I could buy more wines that I could cellar! I know, it's spending money so I can spend even more money. It's not surprise that I'm so shit with money.  |
| Write about some of the words that were introduced in the year you were born according to Merriam-Webster dictionary. ~ "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" 1980, the year that brought you 'schmoozy', 'comb-over' and 'techno-pop'.  But we also brought you 'air guitar', 'chill out', and the 'director's cut'. Oh, but we also ushered in the age of 'differently abled', 'ecofeminism' and 'post-traumatic stress disorder'. Ooh, and 'high five', 'foodie' and 'veg out'.  I'm really not sure what words to write about. Let's see... Retronym - a new term created from an existing word in order to distinguish the original referent of the existing word from a later one that is the product of progress or technological development (e.g. acoustic guitar for guitar). I didn't know there was a word for that, but it kind of makes sense. My mind has taken 'acoustic guitar' and wants to blog about that instead of about retronyms. Wait, what's a prompt again? Something that's supposed to inspire an entry... Right, guitars it is! And hey, 'air guitar' is one of the 'words' (how can something with two words in it be a word?) from my year as well. I'm pretty sure the first time I encountered the concept of an air guitar was in the Bill & Ted movie. Did you hear they're remaking that? Steve can't wait. We have two child-sized acoustic guitars in our house, one 'original', one pink. Both my kids had lessons at school. Neither kept it up. My nephew had lessons for much longer, and I believe he migrated to a full sized guitar, but he dropped it eventually too. My sisters and I all learned from my dad (who worked part-time as a guitar teacher) but gave up. I can play three chords. Caitie learned to play Come As You Are by Nirvana - the bass line at least. I remember my younger sister learning to play Albatross by Fleetwood Mac. When I last visited Dad, he showed us his two 'good' electric guitars. We were talking about them, since we were discussing inheritances. I'm going to inherit his 1963 Gretsch Chet Atkins Tennessean guitar. Other than the regular things like the house and car, it's the only thing of significant value he has. My mother only has two things of significant value, and there are three of us, so yeah, one each and mine is Dad's guitar. Of the three things, mine is the least saleable, as it's more than 50 years old and has been much-used for most of those 50 years. The other two things are in much better condition. But that's okay. Steve and I will also inherit a bunch of stuff from his parents (they have a LOT of stuff and only two kids to inherit) so it was an easy call. Not that I think any of the three of us will sell the items anyway, but... *shrug* Given Dad's family history, he'll live another 20+ years anyway, so I don't need to be finding a place for it just yet!  He doesn't play the Gretsch much anymore, so he has a Epiphone Casino guitar that he uses. He has a bass guitar as well, which makes three electric guitars that I'm aware of. And then he has some acoustics. I'm sure there used to be at least two acoustics at all times, but I wouldn't know how many he has at the moment. I have loads of fond memories of Dad playing the guitar. And some really cute photos of him playing with the kids. I wonder if my youngest nephew and my niece who live in the UK will ever learn to play guitar? It's pretty much a family tradition, even if we've all given up too. Maybe it's the learning AND the giving up that's the tradition! But it'd be cool to see someone pick it up and go all the way with it. Like a legacy handed down. If I'm going to inherit the Gretsch, it should be one of my two. Maybe I can convince one of them to take it up again. Okay, next word. Homeschool - I've said before that we made a mistake sending Jayden to the schools that we did, and in a lot of ways, I wish we'd homeschooled him. Well, now that he's back from Outward Bound, he's talking about finishing high school. So we're looking into Te Aho o Te Kura Pounamu, which is the NZ correspondence school. It'll mean he can study at home, online, instead of having to actually physically go back to high school. I'm hoping he'll enroll this weekend and get the ball rolling. Jaw-dropping - I'm currently reading Threatening Sky, which is the second part of Osirantinous  's novel. Well, they're both novels in their own right, but it has taken two novels to tell the story. She has the most amazing skill with characters. I am just in awe of how real she makes them seem. As a reader, you're totally swept up in their lives, and think of them as real people. It's crazy. I gotta admit though, she does drive me a bit mental with her refusal to capitalise words like 'dad' when they're used as proper nouns instead of common nouns.  That's my only bugbear with her work though, and I'm loving this book. I'll be sad when it's over, I think. |
| Make an A-Z list on a topic of your choosing. ~ "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" By recording all the wines I've tried/tasted, I'm starting to get a decent list of ones I like. And, of course, ones I don't. I thought I'd see if I could do an A-Z list of wines I've tried. Bonus if I can do it only with ones I liked, but I doubt that! Amisfield Pinot Noir (2016). My boss likes this, and although we both drink pinot noir, we don't have the same tastes. This one was nice though. Big Sky Pinot Noir (2015). Had a really unique flavour. Should cellar well, so we have two bottles of this at home, one for drinking, one for saving. China Girl Pinot Noir by Crown Range Cellars (2016). Yum. Bought a bottle of this last weekend after trying it. Doctor's Flat Pinot Noir (2012). Was very impressed with this. We bought some newer vintages to cellar as we were told they'd improve age into something similar to the 2012. Element Wines Syrah (2016). This was a tad too sharp for me, but Steve liked it. I thought it might improve with cellaring. Aitken's Folly Pinot Noir (2015). Definitely drinkable. Gran Familia Rioja Reserva (2012). I haven't tried many tempranillo, but I found this light and quite easy to drink. Hopes Grove Syrah (2015). Nice for drinking now, we've got a bottle in the wine rack. Wai Iti Pinot Noir by The Boneline (2017). Too sharp for my tastes. Jackson's Block Pinot Noir by Terra Sancta (2016). Light and dry. Koyama Pinot Noir (2017). Woody smell. Very sharp, strong tannins. Maybe needs cellaring for a few years? Luna Blue Rock Pinot Noir (2016). Peppery smell. I really enjoyed this and we bought a bottle for the wine rack. Squawking Magpie The Gravels Syrah (2017). Light and reasonably smooth. Black Noble by De Bortoli. Too raisin-y for my tastes. The Obsidian, by Obsidian Vineyard (2012). Best wine I've ever tasted. I don't have any left, and there is no more of the 2012 for sale, so I'm on the lookout for some of another year. If I was going to subscribe to a winery's 'club' to get access to en primeur deals, it'd be Obsidian's. The Patriarch by Babich (2015). We tried this at the vineyard and have a bottle waiting to be drunk. SQuealing Pig Pinot Noir (2016). Drinkable but no wow factor. Riverbank Road Rosé by Aitken's Folly (2018). Quite good for a rosé. Silver Lining by Hopes Grove (2014). Nice now, but we've bought it for cellaring, so it's stashed away in the dark to improve with age. Tupari Pinot Noir (2014). Bought a bottle of this on the weekend after tasting it. GUido in Velvet Pants by Coopers Creek (2015). Very sharp. So much for 'velvet'. Les Violettes by Mollard Cotes Du Rhone (2016). Dry and smooth. Went well with roast pork. Winemaker's Reserve Pinot Noir by Babich (2015). Peppery smell (which I find myself saying a lot, so it's obviously a smell that stands out to me). Quite smooth with no lingering aftertaste. I'm pretty sure we have a bottle of this in the wine rack. Possibly we've drunk it though. EXpressions Pinot Noir by The Hunting Lodge (2018). Very light, quite quaffable. StanleY Estates Lagrein (2016). Good flavour, just a touch too sharp. Perhaps needed more breathing or cellaring. Lustau Pedro XimeneZ. Very sweet. Had a strong raisin-y smell, but didn't taste as raisin-y as I expected, so I enjoyed it. Need to have it instead of dessert, not as well as. Well. I had to get a bit creative there! |
| What are your weekend plans? If this weekend isn’t noteworthy, share your plans for an upcoming weekend or a past weekend that is worth writing about. ~ "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" On Sunday Steve and I went to the Craft’d Wine and Spirit Festival, part of Auckland’s Elemental AKL, Auckland’s winter festival. It was a chance to taste (and buy!) a bunch of wine and spirits from smaller wineries and distilleries around New Zealand, and even take some classes. We only did one ‘masterclass’, but it was quite interesting. It was called ‘Demystifying Wine for Newbies with The Imbibe Tribe’, run by Renée Dale. She taught us about primary, secondary and tertiary flavours that can be found in wines, but she did it by giving us small samples of those foods to smell. So we had things like basil, red licorice, cherries, ginger and dried apricots on the primary plate, aniseed, chocolate and cream on the secondary plate and star anise, cinnamon and coffee on the tertiary plate. We were asked to design a wine with a combination of flavours from each plate, which was a fun and interesting experiment. Then Renée spoke about how winemakers try to design wines with the perfect flavour combinations using just grapes, the fermentation process and the aging process. Then we got to try some wines and see how different foods (cheese, chocolate, potato crisps and lemon) affect their flavours. I didn’t have pen and paper, but I made some rudimentary notes. Moi Rosé 2018 – I’m not a fan of rosé, but this was okay. I thought the chocolate went best with it. Untitled White Blend – It’s not that I don’t know the name of this white wine, it’s actually called Untitled and they have a white blend, pink blend and red blend. I don’t like white wines, but I found this better with the lemon. Untitled Pinot3 – The Red Edition – I thought this had a fruity smell and was quite light. I didn’t like the aftertaste. Steve thought this went best with the cheese, but I don’t like soft cheese, so I didn’t try that combo and I thought it went best with chocolate. There was a red called Filigree, which I thought was by Moi, but I can’t see it on their website either. Ugh, next time I’m taking pen and paper! After the masterclass, we just went around the different stalls trying any wines that grabbed our attention. We got two tastes each for free (we didn’t get to choose which ones they were, so we ended up trying some more rosé which we normally wouldn’t) and after that we had to pay for each tasting. A taste ranged between $3-$6. Mon Cheval Rosé – Again, I don’t like rosé. This wasn’t bad, but not for me. Mon Cheval Pinot Noir 2011 – I didn’t like the smell. The taste was okay, but didn’t wow me. Aitken’s Folly Pinot Rosé – Not too bad, better than the Mon Cheval I thought. Aitken’s Folly Pinot Noir 2015 – This was quite nice. Definitely drinkable. Luna Estate Blue Rock Pinot Noir 2016 – I really enjoyed this. It had a peppery smell. We bought a bottle to take home. Luna Estate Eclipse Pinot Noir 2016 – This was too sharp for me, but Steve really liked it, and we bought a bottle to take home. Little Wing Methode Ancestrale 2018 – I really didn’t like this. Ugh. Fizzy and ugh. But if you like champagne or white sparkling wine (which I don’t), you might like it. Little Wing Syrah 2016 – This was quite peppery. I wasn’t wowed though. Tupari Pinot Noir 2014 – We thought this was quite nice and bought a bottle to take home. Tupari Kabinett Riesling 2016 – I found it quite drinkable, which surprised me because it was white. Sweeter than a regular white, but not too high in alcohol. Tupari Late Harvest Riesling 2017 – This was very sweet and had a syrupy mouth feel with a definite honey flavour. Silver Wing Jay Flight Pinot Noir 2016 – I really liked it. Silver Wing Reserve Pinot Noir 2014 – Steve really liked this and wanted to buy a bottle, but they didn’t have any available. I thought it wasn’t quite as good as the one above it. Silver Wing Late Harvest Riesling 2018 – I liked it. Nicer than the Tupari late harvest reisling I tried. Silver Wing Tawny Port 2014 – Aaaaand not on their website. I can’t figure out who the hell it is if it’s not Silver Wing though! I didn’t like the tawny port, and found it too raisin-y. Hopes Grove Syrah 2015 – Quite nice. We bought a bottle to take home. Hopes Grove Silver Lining Syrah 2014 – We thought this was quite nice, and the guy said that it would cellar well for up to 12 years. We bought a bottle to take home. Crown Range Cellar China Girl Pinot Noir – This was delicious, and we bought a bottle to take home. So altogether we bought six bottles to take home. We didn’t try any of the spirits. We’re not gin drinkers. Steve does like whisky, but the distillery that was there was Thomson, and he has already tried all their whiskies and owns most of them! If we go again next year, I’ll definitely take pen and paper, and I’ll take some crackers! It was hard to try so many without anything except water to cleanse the palate in between. Nice to restock the wine rack with some nice wines though! |
| Take us on a sensory journey to a place that is significant to you. Try to describe the place using all of your senses so we can be there with you! ~ "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" For me, I guess that's the farm I grew up on. I lived there until I was 17, so it made a pretty big impact on me. You know how they say that you can never go back? Yeah. It's changed so much. I read Charlie's post and he shared a poem that fit his post, and that's what got me thinking about my own response to this prompt. That's usually how it works. It's not the prompts themselves, but Charlie's responses to them that inspire me. Anyway, I'll do you a comparison. A poem I wrote when I was living on the farm, compared to a reflective look back. Of course, I had no Writing.com poetry teachers for the first one, but bear with me.
So the first one was everything I could see and hear while sitting on the deck (verandah) of the new house in the dark. I could hear the wind moving through the gum trees. We had a lot of native bush on our farm, but closest to the house was mostly paddocks (fields for animals to graze in) with gum trees to provide shade. I could hear the water gurgling in the creek if I listened hard enough. Of course I could hear livestock - cows and bulls mooing, sheep from the neighbour's property baaing... Sometimes we could hear horses, but not that night. We had horses at various stages, but they don't actually make a lot of noise normally. We always had cats and dogs, but again, they don't usually make a lot of noise at night. On a really still night we could hear the ocean, even though we were about a half hour drive away. More likely though, I'd hear morepork (native owls). I love hearing their distinctive cry. Did you know that if you mimic them, they'll come closer to investigate if you're a suitable mate? It's quite cool to call an owl. That's what that 'mournful cry' line refers to. Even though I used the word mournful, it doesn't make me sad. I haven't mentioned in the poem the clicking of the power to the electric fences. It was on the opposite side of the house. It was a steady click that went off probably every two seconds. Sometimes I hear it in my dreams. Like a metronome almost. In my current house, we have a tin roof and sometimes there's a steady drip onto the roof and it reminds me of the clicking of the electric fence. There were no streetlights, so not much to see except the moon and the stars, and any light from the house spilling out into the garden. Sometimes a neighbour would drive up the road, but not often. We lived in a pretty quiet area. There were only three households further up the road I think. If they did it in the daytime, they'd kick up a cloud of dust, but at night you couldn't see the dust. The second poem is written about daytime memories, based on the old house. We had 330 acres, then my parents sold the house and 300 acres, and built a new house on the remaining 30 acres. I was about 13 when that happened. We'd wander up the race (the track used to move cattle between paddocks) and get to an old tin shed that housed the water pump. It pumped water from the creek to all the water troughs, I think. I'm sure the house used tank water, so the creek water must have been for the troughs. Anyway, it used to make a thumping, groaning sound. In front of the old house we had a small orchard. It had: - a couple of citrus trees - a peach tree - a nectarine tree - a couple of fig trees - some plum trees - about 10 feijoa trees. After we sold it, the new owners removed the orchard. I have a lot of memories of eating fruit from that orchard. On the other side, beside the big wooden gate that stopped cattle coming into the garden, was a loquat tree. It was big enough to sit in. Past the gate were two buildings and a cattle yard. I don't know what cattle yards are called overseas, but they're a series of wooden fences for containing and sorting cattle, and include a ramp to get the cattle onto trucks. Here's a picture of my dad in ours (many years ago!):  The haybarn was open on one side, and I think it had three bays. It was made with corrugated iron, and it was never full of hay. I think the tractor was stored in one bay, and maybe one bay had bales of hay in it. Can't remember. There were small holes in the walls and roof that allowed tiny shafts of sunlight to poke through every now and then, and I distinctly remember watching the dust motes from the hay dance in the sunlight. The other building was a small, old cowshed that wasn't used in my lifetime that I remember. I don't really have vivid memories of it. We didn't have milking cows, ours was a beef farm. Our neighbour milked cows though, and when they were away on holiday or whatever, Dad would milk their cows. I remember helping out. My little sister especially loved using the high pressure hose to clean the muck off the concrete floor. I remember walking through where the farmer walks to put the cups on the cows, and having to dodge incoming cow shit. I remember drinking warm milk straight out of the tank. Completely unpasteurised of course, and full cream. And warm. Ugh, I hate warm milk. I wrote about that in "Invalid Entry" . And I remember sitting on their water tank next to the cowshed and talking with the neighbours' girls (they had three daughters as well). And I have memories of listening to the milk tanker grind its way up the hill to our house, then go round the 'tanker track' to collect milk from the cowshed.If you followed the race far enough on the farm, you'd get to a concrete culvert (a small concrete bridge over the creek). We'd pick watercress there and have it on sandwiches with Marmite. I wrote about that too, in "Invalid Item" .And if you walked all the way to the furthest edge of our property, you'd be standing at the top of a hill. You'd see gorse and grass. Sometimes a wild deer if you were lucky (I lived there 17 years and I think I saw them twice maybe). You could look all the way to the West Coast of New Zealand, and if it was very still, you could hear the Tasman Sea on the West Coast and the Pacific Ocean on the East Coast. So yup, there you go. That's my description of the farm where I grew up. |
| "There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page and closing the book." ~Josh Jameson ~ "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" This prompt came at the perfect time for me, but I just ran out of time to answer it. Which sounds contradictory now that I've written it, but I'll explain. I've had a number of requests from people for me to review their books on my blog (and Goodreads and Amazon, of course). It's weird, because I've had my blog for two years now, and have only 215 followers, which just isn't that many in the blogging world. But all of a sudden, I'm getting a flurry of requests. It was extremely flattering, and now it's a bit bewildering and overwhelming. Saying no is hard! These have been the requests so far:  Understanding Libby by Charity Marie (non-fiction) - have agreed to do a beta read When They Do by Sara Breaker (contemporary romance) - author didn't offer a free copy, so I would have to buy it first. Have ignored request so far. Beauregard and the Beast by Evie Drae (contemporary m/m romance) - read and reviewed (3 stars) Only Skin Between Us by Katie Scott - read and reviewed (2 stars) Across The Fourwinds by Shane Trusz and Darryl Frayne (YA fantasy) - have ignored request so far. Seems like it's aimed at a younger audience than me. The Ninth Ingredient by Leon Mauvais (historical erotic romance) - halfway through reading. Will explain in more detail below. Journey of the Heart by Stephanie Burkhart (Christian romance) - have agreed to read and review The Kingmaker Contest (epic fantasy) - have agreed to read and review. Cave Man by Aedan Sayla (historical Christian erotica) - declined request.Strictly speaking, the first one wasn't a request for a review so much as it was a request for a beta read, which is a private review rather than a public one. I've been totally slack ass on that one, mostly because the book is in Word format, not mobi, which means I have to read it in front of my computer and can't read it on my phone as I normally do. Same with Journey of the Heart which is in PDF format. Both are by WDC authors though, so I want to make the effort. Charity has been waiting aaaages though. I feel bad.  Only Skin Between Us was a weird one for me. I didn't get a blurb and just launched straight into it. I assumed that if the author had read my blog, that they wouldn't have offered me anything other than a romance. The title sounds like a romance, right? #rookiemistake It was not a romance. I don't know what it was. You can check out my review here: "Only Skin Between Us" . Anyway, it's not a book I would have ever chosen to read, and so that wasn't a good start. On top of that, it needed some serious editing. But it got worse. Because then I started reading The Ninth Ingredient. The blurb makes it out to be a story about an apprentice baker in France. I'm not sure exactly when, but in the era of horses and carts, and noblemen and what-have-you. He is given a quest to find the recipe for gelato that is winning over the noblemen of France, but he falls in love with the maker of the gelato and is faced with a dilemma - his career or his love? Sounds okay. Spoiler alert, it's not okay.  I had to put the book down after getting 44% through it. Things that are wrong so far: - After reading 44% of the book, we still haven't met, seen or heard of the person he supposedly falls in love with. WTF?  You can't have a romance novel with the couple not even having met after 44% of the book! On top of that, it's not even that they haven't met, but the reader has no idea who the love interest will be. None whatsoever! I'm baffled.- The protagonist is awful. Like, I'm genuinely wanting him to get his comeuppance. Like, I'm wishing he'd get run over by a horse and cart and just do the world a favour and die. He's a bully. He takes great delight in making other people miserable. He refuses to acknowledge or take responsibility for his mistakes and will find any reason not to apologise. He doesn't learn from his mistakes either. He expects other people to think he's amazing, even though he has put in zero effort to earn their admiration or respect, and then thinks they're stupid for not recognising his brilliance. He won't work for his achievements but prefers to take the easy route or steal the glory from others. - There was a horrific sex scene. It was consensual, which is the only good thing I can say about it. I won't go into details, but suffice it to say, no one wants to read about any form of oral sex where the receiving party gloats that 'I haven't washed in months'.  I just about threw up reading that scene. And just so you know, it was very detailed and graphic. So here I am. I'm 44% of the way through this book, and I refuse to read any more. There is no way this book can be redeemed to anything above two stars, and right now it's sitting really really solidly at one star. I actually wish I could go into negative stars, that's how much it grates on me. How do I respond to the author who requested the review? And do I even post a rating or review on Goodreads or Amazon? I'm tempted to, because I feel like people need to be warned, but I also feel bad because the author asked for a review and... I hate it. What do I do???? I know how to give constructive criticism, I know how to deliver negatives sandwiched between positives. I even made a note that the author had beautiful imagery in their writing, so I could have something positive to say. But this is a completed book, not a work in progress, and the author requested a public review so they could sell more copies. Ugh. This is tough. |
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