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My life as real as it gets. Imagined into reality. |
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While I won't be putting anything here too persional or risque I do have the rating set in case. Primarily I ask people who are easily offended by child like things to move on. You don't have to read this if these things upset you. I hope to make this a Blog that expresses my life inside of an imagined one. I find the pure imagination characterized as childs play to be very helpful in expressing things that are or would be otherwise impossible if not for exploring it in the safety of a youthful spirited character. His name is LP^2 Lily or Little Lily for short. He is a small wingless fur covered dragon whoes age really is not important or hold any significance. Although some may think age ten or five. I like to think his character is ageless. When you are free and safe at the same time real life seems livable and no obstacle can become a lock down. The only hinderence to artistic expression is the jail cell we put ourselves into that exists in the mind. If we could only allow ourselves to be imperfect then perhaps we could better ourselves in true human beings with a heart that is faithful, agope love, and a spiritual heart that is teachable. May God bless those who enter. Amen |
| Explanations I been busy, so I have not the time to write. A big part of this is trying to move my sleep pattern into a time frame that would work best for my art, writing, and electronics DIY. I do hope to make all this my primary income. Like I said on my Blog on Fathomistic Fantasy I will pick up a survivor job if I need it. Right now I am trying to span out a time frame of how this will work. I will lose my current resources I been using. My parents cannot support me forever. It has been really a blessing from God that they have helped me thus far. Sometimes a child must be an adult and sometimes an adult needs to become a mere child. Terms That I Use All this brings me to a set of terms I use to try and keep a reliable method of staying in the imaginative state I use to write and or be like a mere child. Keep in mind all people in Christianity find their own way to be a mere child submissive unto God. My way just tends to be a tad bit more imaginative. In order to keep things straight without losing that spiritual mere child self I enjoy I use terms that don't shatter things. Feel free to use different terms in your comments. By no means do I expect anyone to use these terms. Primarily its to make this easier for me to write. The most important terms are those that differentiate life and the imaginative. I like to call life the "physical world" and for imaginative "wonderland." A lot of my terms fallow the Tulpamancy subculture. Mind you, I try to put God first and respect imagination for what it is and what it is not. While my wonderland is very special to me I do realize its a form of expression. It is life in a fantasy world. The next terms are very straight forward. Disclaimer There is a reason its "mere child," or "child like." For some this can seem a tad bit odd or cringe. If pacifiers and descriptions of child play offends you please don't read it. No one is expected to read this much less approve/accept any of this. Actually it mean the world to me if you accept this out of your decision instead of my expectation. In other words if you decide to accept this part of my life its solely your decision to do so. Real friends don't care what your cover looks like. Just like a good book its worthwhile.Paraphrase (Twilight Sparkle, Hasbro Studios, My little pony, Friendship is magic). If anyone is to be my friend the must first be individual from me. They must decide to be who they are special as they are without thinking I expect anything. Then they can be my friend and relax around me enough to tolerate me even though they may disagree with me on my lifestyle and my spiritual beliefs. Be the special you that only you can be. These people are my true friends. Tolerate and love. At least enough to find a compromise where appropriate and try to tolerate me where I can't change and I myself must look for ways around what I can't do. Hints.... My pacifier can be the only thing to escape my social fears and I can escape the fight-or-flight state of mind I sometimes get into. Yes, I have a therapist and a psychologist that helps with my medications. My comfort items are physical objects that help decrease the use of medications I would otherwise have to take. THANKYOU for understanding. Be the special you only you can be. That is all I ask. I call myself the Original Character (OC) and my imaginary beings tulpas. This just helps differentiate the two. Keep it mind this might read like a book or narrative its not necessarily going to be a book. While I may use ideas from this Blog I by no means will make my books exactly like my wonderland. My imaginative place is something special and unique to me. In some ways it can be very personal. This is generally a public diary. I write my more personal stuff in a hand bound book of blank paper. I love paper craft so much that I bound my own custom notebooks and sketch books. END notes I am still editing this. i would like to one more edit before I really call this official. Any recommendations or advice is welcome. Please do not get offended if I decide on something contrary to any advice given. I will give any advice some thinking and this challenge to think is very important to me. Even in friendship I ask my friends to challenge me to think on things I may need to change about myself. However, my Lord Adoni the God of Abraham, of Moses, and of Israel is my say so. His word via the Bible as a whole is my lifestyle. I do not take one scripture without careful consideration of other scriptures. The Mosaic law with The Church of Antioch. |
| After dealing with things and the busy hectic life there after Christmas I decided to come back. For the most part it was nothing severe. Mostly it was just a fear that I really did not know how politics would affect online writing. I am such a free spirited young dragon. I am one that is small, wingless, and covered with fur from head to toe. I suppose you could call me a babyfur if that helps explain it. Primarily I am just a playful young spirited thing. My desire is none other then to be faithful, to have a heart that is agope love, and to be teachable regaurdless of what culture thinks. I have a deep spiritual passion to be a child of God. The God of Moses, of Abraham, and of Isaac. Who elese? That is my father in heaven. A loving intity that comforts me in my time of need. Keep in mind Mathew 17 and 18. Also if considering 1 Corinthians 13 its the chapter in its entirety. There is so much meaning in verse 11. I find it sad how people will make it so cheap. Like little children they hold onto those bad habits that hold them back. They become faithless and dead to what it really means to be a child of God the most high. Sometimes you have to become a mere child in order to remove those shameful child like habits that hold you back. Sometimes in order to learn you have to have a playful youthful spirit. In life I do use attachment objects such as a plushy or an adult sized pacifier, but by no means do these things define me. I just prefer something that is clean instead of always having a pencil, tooth pick, or any other oral item in my mouth. My anxiety causes me to clamp my jaw sometimes to the point the oral object what ever it may be to the point of bleeding. Only when I taste blood do I realize my anxiety has consumed me. I snap out of it with the bitter taste of depression. Just because I may use things that are soft and comforting does not mean I make an idol out of child like objects. It simply means I prefer something soft instead of something that bruises me or causes my mouth to blead from squezzing so hard. My calling in art and writing is so vivid that its impossible for me to be mentally sane if I don't admit to God that this is my expression. My autism makes people run away and I suppose the "oger" feeling gets difficult. "They take one look at me and yell 'Ahhhh ogre,' they judge me even before they get to know me." I do have friends. I just have a very hard time understanding how to work with social cues. Perhaps the hardest part about autism is not being able to adequatly express myself vocally without being a pest. You get me in a room with some one who is an artist or an electronics geek and it works out rather well. Although keeping things comfortable for us both is not easy. Anxiety as well as the accedental monologue I get into has made social life difficult. Yet, when I simply become a mere child I can self regulate everything. It only takes a day of spending my time in this imaginitive world and I am ten times easier to be around then I would be otherwise. At least from my perception people seem a lot more relaxed around me when I had time being my Little Lily. He is after all a big part of my life and my life in art/writing. |
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