Thanks so much BKC. You're 100% right in your assessments. I'd like to think there are a lot more people out there that think like this, like us, but yeah, who exactly is comparing notes these days? Sometimes I think we're too worried to function beyond taking care of what little we can take care of and thinking "What if..." every time more shit hits the fan.
Great vision with conscience at work. This is where most people haven’t got. As, am I being scammed? Is there something better or is the game fixed? Do I feel a sucker with humiliation, walk away and never consult my ego again? We got…this stuff…that’s supposed to be good (the American Dream/too hot too handle shooting star), right?
I’ve driven off the road, out of proximity and ripped out all the geo-tagging equipment/changed my identity, lay low, prepping for end of world scenarios. But, we’re so soft and relaxed, even at the firing range, the best we can do is be guarded. All my weapons training can dice a carrot. Distrust plays right into the narrative that we all hate each other, and that way we won’t compare notes…except through poetry. It’s as if we live banal fiction inundated with the cliche, so we create fantasy worlds.
With words, narratives inform open forums to accept, consider or reject. I absorb everything, turn it into prose. I’ll be on that channel, scrambled from the ignorance that abounds.
My dad passed away in January from Covid complications and cardiac arrest. We hadn't spoken but once in probably 10-12 years, and the one time we did it was...insulting, to say the least. Your comment is spot-on. I don't/won't be the one to rewrite history praising someone who isn't worthy of it, regardless of what others think is "the right thing to do" regarding the deceased.
As for the last line, he sucked me in more than a few times into thinking he might actually become a good dad. But it wouldn't be long after that the disappointment resettled, without getting too specific, in whatever form it would take. My siblings have much different memories and recollections than I do, because they lived with him and my late brother and I did not. And that made a huge impact on my brother's life, eventually leading to his suicide, I believe (among other factors). And that's where the last line comes in...he'd taken me for enough rides in the past that I wasn't gonna be taken anymore, especially after he blew off my brother before he died.
Elle Dec 20, 2022 at 4:58pm In response to "Archives"
I'm not sure about the last line, but I especially love the whole third stanza. And the idea that you can't resurrect someone into something they weren't rings true. So often when someone dies we rewrite history and only remember the good things or even start giving them attributes that they didn't have.
I really like the first stanza. I think you could have that stand on its own and be complete, honestly. But I guess then it would be less of a personal statement about yourself.
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