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Guided by prompts from WDC blogging challenges... and of course, life |
HI! I'm Jenn - and I'm all over the place (well, at least my mind is). In this blog, I have attempted to gather my thoughts on things prompted/inspired by WDC blogging challenges from "Journalistic Intentions"  , "The Soundtrack of Your Life" , "Blogging Circle of Friends " , "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" and, well, LIFE.    |
| It's been a while. Six days according to the "Update your blog" message I got today. The ole' noggin's been all over the place lately. Not an excuse, just fact. It was all I could do to make sure I got all my entries for "Invalid Item" 's Blame it on My Muse mini challenge - and even some of those were late. I guess my muses didn't wanna play along. As my youngest daughter used to say when she was little when she couldn't answer something, "Come back later, my brain is on vacation in Hawaii." Well, I doubt mine is vacationing in Hawaii. In a black hole more likely. My emotions (or lack thereof) lately could definitely attest to that. I have been so spacey! I can forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it, get lost on roads I've driven for years. And I've accidentally deleted pages of writing, losing it all and causing me to have to start all over again. Yeah, I'm a mess. And while my mind is all over the place, my emotions have been near non-existent. "Not a good sign" as my shrink told me Friday, right before he doubled my meds. Yesterday was my first day on the new dosage. The added chemicals didn't do anything for me being a mess though. Not yet anyway. I bet my coworkers would get me a space helmet for my birthday in a couple of weeks if they thought about it, since my head has been above the clouds so much recently. But yesterday was a doozy of a day! I forgot what I was doing and thinking mid-sentence as I was helping a customer. Luckily, the customer is a regular and knows I'm not always so scatterbrained. Maybe they thought I was getting sick; it seems to be a trend around town lately - and not a good one. But, hey! I live sick and all the drugs they have me on should help keep the weaker bugs at bay. Shouldn't they? Anyway, back to yesterday's disaster. I recovered from my blank out and the evening wore on. It was business as usual with a handful of space outs until we closed. I had gotten through it and after emptying the mop bucket (yeah, some of us have to do menial labor) I could clock out, set the alarm, and go home. Assuming I had made it through the night apparently proved to be my downfall. As I am dumping the dirty mop water into the drain, it slipped off the lip of the sink and dumped all over the floor of the back room and my shoes and pants from the knees down were soaked. UGH!! Then I had to spend however much longer it took for me to sop up all the spilled water from the floor in the back room. I'm sure the surveillance video caught me back there talking to and cussing at myself for the mess. I was back there for so long though that my coworker began to worry. She said she called for me but couldn't get me to respond - I didn't hear her. She was on her way to the back room when I came walking up to the front. I saw her sigh a huge sigh of relief. She said, "Thank God! I thought you'd had a seizure!" - Well, to be fair, usually when I get so spacey it is a sigh that a seizure is more likely to happen. It's sweet to know that she was worried. But the mess put us getting out of there almost thirty minutes later than normal. My oldest, who worked at the same store before she moved a few hours away, said stuff like that happens to everybody there. So does stuff like things being knocked off the shelves when no one is there to have knocked them down. She insists that the store has some sort of spirits or shadow people there playing tricks on the employees. I don't know. But I have seen some strange things since I started working there - and the CCTV has caught some craziness too. I'd like to blame my night on some shadow people, but I'll shoulder the blame for my wacky night. It was just par for my course lately anyway. |
Day 3364: January 24, 2022 Prompt: What is your favorite activity on a Brumous Day? Means foggy or wintry. My favorite thing to do on a brumous day (like today is where I am, actually) is put on some soft classical music, snuggle under a blanket, and settle down to read a good book or work on a book of puzzles. I enjoy sudoku and crosswords, but I'm not overly picky honestly. I also get in the mood to play mahjong or solitaire (the actual game, not on a device). I prefer those wintry days to be quiet and relaxing. Maybe sip a nice cup of hot cocoa with marshmallows or a cup of steaming hot tea. Growing up, I would sit in front of the fireplace to read or play my games. While I no longer live in a house with a fireplace, I do still sit near a heat source. I suppose old habits really do die hard, but why change what works, right?! LIFE PONDERINGS I was sitting here thinking to myself, as I'm ofttimes do, and it struck me - probably not or the first time: It's cheaper to buy junk food than it is to buy food that is good for you. Why is that? Does whoever's in charge want the population to be unhealthy and addicted to all the chemicals that are put into processed foods? Is it the food and medical industries working together to ensure that both are guaranteed to continue making money off the public? Maybe it just happened of its own volition and there was no underlying agenda by some huge conglomerate or government entity. I don't know and I suppose it really doesn't matter. What matters to me is that I cannot afford to eat as healthy as I'd like to, so I am forced to buy fewer healthy items and supplement them with the cheaper processed food. It gets a girl to thinking of turning her entire back yard into a vegetable garden come spring. I doubt I will tough. I like my flowers after all.      |
| Have you ever had One Of Those Days? You know the kind I'm talking about. The ones where you know from the moment you wake that the day is going to be working against you. Today is that kind of day for me. But it began much earlier than daylight. It began in the wee hours of the morn, before a lot of the youngsters are ending their previous day. I awoke to a whining, and a horrible smell. Nixon pup was nudging me with his nose trying to wake me, I can only assume so he could go outside. The store's been out of his usual food, so we had to buy a replacement - and it seems that the new food does not agree with the delicate digestive tract of a 100 lb. German Shepherd. Because of his tummy issues, he woke me many times through the night; some of those times by the smell alone. So, I got out of bed the last time grumpier than normal; a girl's got to have her sleep after all. I walked out of my bedroom to a house that looked like a war zone. Then I vaguely remembered the cats coming inside during one of the dog's frequent potty breaks. Psycho kitty had been at it again. He has this thing about knocking off pretty much anything from anywhere above floor level. I ushered the fur brats out to the back yard so I could have a bit of quiet time and eat my morning toast. The darned toast of course had to pop up from the toaster burnt and as stiff as a crouton. But I ate my burnt toast (no reason to waste food) to the tune of a dog whimpering at my back door, crying to come back inside. I had no sooner let the mutt in and he had laid down when he farted so loudly it startled him enough to make him jump up and look around. And the noxious gas creeped around the living room and gagged me.  Yup. It's gonna be One Of Those Days.  Cirque de la Vie had come home for a visit.           |
| When I was pregnant with my first child, my mom tried to help me with advice on how to stop the morning sickness and a multitude of other topics concerning what a pregnant woman has to endure. I didn't listen to her. I've always had to do things on my own, find things out for myself. Looking back on it, I probably should have taken her advice. I mean, I did with the second one - but only because I had learned the hard way on the first go-round. I was so sick while I was pregnant with my first girl. I also had problems during the pregnancy that had forced me to take a break from working for the last couple of months of my term. One of the many suggestions my mom had given me was to take it easy, and of course I didn't. So I was forced to do so there at the end and my mom held back from telling me, "I told you so." My baby girl came out perfect even though I hadn't taken care of myself. Momma warned me about post-partum depression. I waved it off. How could I become depressed when I had such a perfect, beautiful baby? But I did. It hit me hard and all I wanted was for my life to end. I knew my parents would take excellent care of my girl. I mean, hey, they raised me and I was alright. When, with the help of medications, I came back to myself, I relied on my mom for advice. All those things I didn't want to listen to while I was growing up, anything I was unsure of when it came to the baby - I called her. I still call her when I need someone's advice on something. Somewhere along the way, I stopped seeing her as "my bitchy mom" and started seeing her as my friend as well as my mom. Now, the time has come that my baby girl is grown and expecting a baby of her own. And like me, that headstrong girl who wouldn't listen to anything I said while she was growing up has begun to seek my advice. Will she ever see me as a friend? That's for her to decide. It's enough for me right now to know that she values my opinions and experiences and seeks my advice instead of running from it. |
| I've ranted before ( "Jan. 9, 2022 - How Rude" ) about how cell phones seem to be taking over our world and making people less social face to face, dumbing down our society. It was more fully confirmed to me today while I sat for five hours in the emergency room. Everyone had cell phones in their hands. One little girl, probably under 10, threw an all-out tantrum when her phone battery ran out and the chargers at the hospital weren't working. Oh my goodness! It was so bad there ... a baby would fuss and their parent would just turn on a show on their cell phone and stick it in the kid's face. One even then complained about how hard it is to be a parent! Ha ha! Shoving cell phones and junk food in your kid's face when they get fussy isn't parenting! And people wonder why our society is getting dumber, why their kids have attention issues! A cell phone or any other electronic device is not a substitute for being there for your kid and dealing with the issues at hand. Put your phones down and spend some quality time with your kids! I swear! If I hadn't already been feeling poorly when I went to the ER, seeing that would have been enough to get my blood pressure up there! As for why I was at the emergency room to begin with, blood has been seeping from my ear for the last couple of days and being on blood thinners, it is crucial for me to seek medical assistance in such times. It was a good thing I did too. My INR (pretty much how long it takes my blood to clot) was over double the safe level. When they saw the test results, the medical staff seeing to me flipped out. It's been up there before so I didn't see the issue - other than the bleeding from my ear of course. But, after giving me a healthy dose of vitamin K and contacting my hematologist, they finally sent me on my way. I'm sure the bill for that "little" visit is going to be exorbitant. The vitamin K itself is probably an outrageous amount. But hey! I'm fine. And I'll live to rant another day. |
| Growing up in the country was great. I had the run of both my parents' property and that of their neighbors; hundreds of acres in all. Hiking through the woods, swimming in the creeks, fishing in the stock ponds - there was always so much for me to do and I was seldom inside. Even on the nasty days of rain or snow I would be out of the house, exploring one of the old barns or just chilling with the animals in those barns suitable to still be in use. I loved being out, being around the animals, helping out my dad (or getting in his way, depending on how one looks at things). I was such a Daddy's girl! He taught me how to care for the animals, feed the orphaned babies, that sort of thing. But one of the "at home" memories I will always cherish is how my dad would start up his old Izuzu Pup and grab the spotlight and tell me to hop in. Those times were such fun! We would drive through the pastures and swipe the spotlight around looking for critters. We were hunting skunks because our place was overrun with them, and they were killing our chickens. We didn't need guns. You don't always have to have a gun when you're hunting. All we needed was a spotlight and Daddy's trusty little truck. Most times, I would sweep the field with the spotlight and Daddy would run over any skunks we came across. Yeah, it was a smelly business, but it was so fun, and it was something that I got to share with my dad that no one else did. It's also where I learned to drive a stick shift. I suppose Daddy figured that out in the pasture I'd be less likely to wreck the truck or hit anyone else's vehicle. But, while I never wrecked the truck out in those pastures, I did manage to wreck our dirt bike out there. Yet another adventure of a kid with ample opportunity to get into mischief. |
| Yes my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him - Psalm 62:5 Those of you who have read my newsfeed posts of late know that I have fallen on some hard times financially and also know that I have been blessed to receive two 3-month extensions for my upgraded membership here on WDC. In all honesty, I have been having hard times mentally, physically, and financially which have all built up to cause me great distress. It has been during this time that I have been reminded yet again of God's goodness. In addition to the angels here on WDC, both known and anonymous, angles walking in the guise of humans have come to help with those other areas which have been troubling me. You see, I couldn't afford some of my medications, even with my insurance and my psychiatrist and my hematologist have both found programs in which to enroll me that will help out with more of those expenses - which will, in turn help both my mental well-being and some of my physical maladies. You see, I have been diagnosed for some time with Bipolar 1 and General Anxiety Disorder. Through the years, my shrink has put me on numerous drugs to combat those issues. Few have worked, even fewer yet have worked without harmful side effects. The current medication I am on is pretty much my last option for keeping my extreme manic and depressive episodes at bay. The stuff is expensive. It is over $1000 USD for a 30-day supply. It adds up quick and the bank account drains quick when you're having to pay that kind of money for just one of your numerous medications. But today I got word from my shrink that I have been put on a program through the drug manufacturer that will enable me to be able to afford this medication. One more stressor lifted from my shoulders. Goodness knows I don't need to flip out again and wind up in jail or back in a nuthouse. As for the physical problems, the flares come and go - some worse than others, like the one afflicting my currently. Speaking to a dear friend of mine earlier today, I was reminded I am not in this sinking boat by myself. A reminder that I desperately needed. When everything looks to be going wrong, even the best optimist can be dragged down by the stress of it all. But I have been reminded so many times the last couple of days that I have friends and loved ones who will hold my hand to help me get through this, and that Christ will carry me when I can't go on. I'm grateful for it all. For all my WDC family, and for my other friends and family. You've all helped me stay sane through the madness that has been my life of late. For those of you who have offered an ear, for those who have encouraged me, and for those of you who have helped me keep my account intact in its entirety thereby relieving some of that stress, Thank You doesn't seem to be enough. I'll be forever grateful. You are all angels in disguise. |
For Round 7 Blogvillian Pop Up! January 13-14 -
Prompt #1 - Orange creamsickle Write about something people do that isn't necessarily a huge deal, but if everyone did it, it would be total chaos. From "JAFBG" What have you done or would never do? I'm going to say, smoking cigarettes. I personally haven't smoked since the year 2000 but my husband still smokes. I don't mind people smoking, I mean, it's their lives. But imagine, if you will, what the world would be like if everyone smoked cigarettes. We would be walking around in a haze of cigarette smoke; our lungs would have to adapt to the poison. Think about how the smoke creeps around and sits heavily in bars; the whole world would be like that. Talk about adding to the pollution and climate change! Prompt #3 - TABOO When should books be banned? Share thoughts but do answer as personally as possible. Have you had this experience? Would your life-experience or who-you-are be banned? Why is this happening now? Books should never be banned. Certain ones should be restricted from being read by younger readers, but not banned completely. Banning books is equal to the government(s) deciding what is good for each and every one of us. It takes the ability to choose what is best for ourselves out of our hands and places it in the grip of a ruling class - even if that term is not what they are calling themselves. Banning books says without saying that someone, somewhere doesn't think the rest of the population has the mental ability to choose what is best for them of their families. Me? I'm a rebel. If there is a book that I want to read, I will find it by whatever means so I can read it. Besides, why ban books? What's in them that the people banning them don't want us to read? I have my beliefs about why it is happening in this day and age, they're trying to turn the population into sheep who will go along with whatever they say - and change/rewrite history.... But that's just my opinion. |
| I feel like I accomplished something as a mother finally. Both my girls now have jobs and are more able to take care of themselves. It is something for which I had been hoping for quite some time. My oldest, at 25, got her driver's license and her first job about a year ago. She just had no desire to do so before then, as she lived with her then boyfriend and they weren't necessary. I have seen her turn into a responsible young woman in this last year. In July, she will begin her own journey as a mother. She has been more in contact with me ever since she found out the good news. I hear from her at least a few times a week. My baby girl, at 20, has been engaged and living with her fiance for the last three years. She also had felt no need to get a job. She hasn't gotten her driver's license either, even though she took driver's education at 15. This week though, she phoned to let me know she got a job in a clothing retail store. She was bored staying home all the time while her fiance went to school and worked so she decided she would get a job. I'm glad she did. Being home all the time isn't good for a person, especially not a young person. I had thought I had messed up somewhere in my raising of my girls until recently. I was afraid that my being antisocial taught them to be as well. Now I am learning different. I didn't teach my girls to be antisocial. And they did learn how to be responsible enough to get jobs so they could be independent if need be. Maybe I wasn't such a bad Mom after all. |
| Past few days have been really difficult, physically speaking. I find myself in one heckuva Lupus SLE flair. My joints hurt, my head hurts, my muscles hurt, my skin hurts, my scalp - and even my hair hurts. My hands are stiff and achy. The colder weather always makes me hurt more than other times. I'm just achy all over and so darned tired but then I can't sleep at night. Whine, whine. I could go on for hours probably. Well, it's almost that time again for me to renew my upgraded membership. I'm hoping like H-E-double hockey sticks that I'll have the funds necessary come February. Honestly, I'd love to upgrade it even further to a premium membership - but, as I said, I don't know if I'll have the funds for even an upgraded membership. I suppose only time will tell. Perchance I could persuade my dear mom to renew my upgrade for my birthday. Until then, I'll keep on writing - and of course I'll keep on working to make ends meet in this crazy world we now find ourselves. Peace y'all. Here's to a New Year. I'll stop whining for now. |
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Glad you're OK.
You're so right, they are definitely perceptive. They know when you need extra attention, and they know when to keep an eye out for you. They are definitely a blessing from God.
