That's the truth! I always seem to find ways of putting myself right where there is possibility of exactly that, but somehow usually manage to stay safe and unharmed. Someone greater than me is looking out for me, of that I am certain.
Hey, My heart goes out to you. I can relate. I'm Bipolar also. They diagnosed me as manic-depressive years ago, but it still took years for a diagnosis. I'm doing much better these days, but still have my highs and lows. The combination of Lexapro and Abilify has been the greatest help. I've tried a lot of different medication combos, and I have to say that just adding Abilify has helped me greatly!
My furbabies are everything to me. They're always near. I have two terrier-mix little girls. I wouldn't even want to think of what life would be like without them. They may be dogs, but they're good for hugs, cuddling, and talking to. They've been with me through thick and thin. You're so right, they are definitely perceptive. They know when you need extra attention, and they know when to keep an eye out for you. They are definitely a blessing from God.
If you ever need to talk or just rant, feel free to write me. I hope you're feeling better.
LeJenD, you're not by yourself. I've battled depression in cycles throughout my life so far. I think in some ways, it's hereditary. As an adult, I have become convinced, that my Mom had undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder. When she was feeling "good," she'd take my brother and me to "the big town" to play all day. When she was feeling "bad," I had my hands full counseling her for hours. Who knew that wasn't a teenager's job?
Poetry has become such a balm for my soul. The depression is still there, but it seems to bring some level of relief when I put my feelings down in a poem. Amazingly enough, some of my best poetry has been written when I was depressed. The Lord has graciously given me the gift of poetry.
BTW, dogs are quite perceptive animals. Mine is lying on the floor near me as I write. I think she's a gift from God, too.
It's been a while. I figured I'd make myself take a moment to write in my blog before the year's end though. Things have been crazy for me here. The holiday season always does it to me though. This year, I had a big decline in my emotional well-being. Depression is a hard one to fight your way out of, and it's made worse when it is couples with a "don't care" attitude about life or trying to get out of the slump. Luckily, I have people who love me and refuse to give up on me - and a wonderful shrink who knows the signs and made sure I was on the right meds to get back to being "Me". That being said, even the miracle of modern medication takes time to work. I'm slowly getting back to being myself.
My battle with trying to get disability continues, and although the pain is always there, I had to find myself a job in order to make ends meet - that's taking much of my time right now. Perhaps once the holidays are over, I won't be working as many hours - who knows. Everything going on all at once doesn't really help my mental recovery though.
I was blessed to get to see my daughters at Christmas. That brightened my mood for a couple of days - then life went back to normal as they headed off to their homes far away from mine. But, at least I was able to visit with them. My husband shaved his face for the first time in twenty one years because his mom said all she wanted for Christmas was to see him clean shaven. I'm still having a hard time trying to get used to him without all his fur. I suppose there has been humor even during my dark times, if only I would look for it. For now, I must keep telling myself things could be worse. Life moves on whether I'm ready for it to or not so I must remember to look for the good things so I don't become swallowed by the bad... Maybe the year 2022 will be better.
My email keeps yelling at me to update my blog, so here it is. I am having a rough go at things and my mind refuses to cooperate so I am taking a step back from things until the old mind has been sorted (at least to some degree). In the event that isn't before Christmas - I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas (or holiday, depending on your beliefs).
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