Search where?

This Portfolio (angr)

All of Writing.Com

◄ July ► 2023
S	M	T	W	T	F	S
						1
2	3	4	5	6	7	8
9	10	11	12	13	14	15
16	17	18	19	20	21	22
23	24	25	26	27	28	29
30	31
Archive				RSS

Create New Item

Read & Review

Community

Browse By Type

Browse By Genre

Writing Resources

Saturday, Nov. 9, 2024

11:04pm EST

Members: 850

Guests: 4,784

Total Online: 5,634

Blog - A Young Writer's Journey

by WriterAngel

Rated: 18+ · Book · Internet/Web · #2256499

A blog documenting my writing journey

I hope this is entertaining... :)

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

tracker

Nov 1, 2023 at 6:05pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

You wrote "I hope this is entertaining... :)" Yes indeed I am totally blown away by your poetry blog. I have never seen anything like it! Hi, I am tracker. I have had some contact with you because I have fan'd you. I wonder if there is anywhere the system tells you when you did that? After being here awhile you can accumulate a whole lot of fans. Your adjectives stand out. "Squishy, suctioned, autumnal, fleshy for example. Who does that better than you do? I am really impressed. I only have one question. What is your name IRL so I can look on Amazon? Take care.
tracker

Kåre เลียม Enga

Jun 15, 2023 at 11:46pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Yes, keep trying. The syntax seems a bit twisted, making the rhymes seem forced, so it doesn't flow smoothly.

The use of -ast and -erst rhymes was good though.

Title: would "Palm Reading" be better?

WriterAngel

Jun 7, 2023 at 11:40am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Thank you so much for the feedback and kind words! I didn't even think of that hymn, although that's one of my faves.

It's a good idea to expand it a bit. I wrote it originally for Express It in Eight, but I could certainly keep working on it more...

Kåre เลียม Enga

Jun 5, 2023 at 11:56pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I really liked this. The use of 7/7/7/7 divide 3/4 or 4/3 reminds me of the hymn "Rock of Ages" and adds a musical component to these two verses.

There could be more... a third verse going back in time... maybe two verses... and then a last verse back to the present/future/ancient-past.

I have a variety of traumas and triggers. Not all memories are unpleasant but bad ones once triggered take me back. Photos work well for me, occasionally music (but more for emotion), and fragrance.

Use of the 5 senses to describe a before time might be interesting.

Now I'm back at my grandparents... circa 1960: a red cardinal, smell of rotten tomatoes, lilacs (May 1963), cold floor of the basement (we slept there on hot nights in August), flash of the fireflies, the slant of the hillside, the red sidewalk and white tires of nasturtiums, taste of split pea soup, and fresh baking bread (twice/week). Sound of? Maybe the porch swing... ah... the whistle of the steam engine (Pennsylvania RR main line).

Thank you for taking me down the dirt/gravel path through the hollow.

Ray Scrivener

Mar 31, 2022 at 2:49pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey, no rush on the writing front! I'm currently trying to work around my own responsibilities so we'll figure things out when we can.

And careful tossing that praise around, we haven't even dipped our toes in the story yet

Can't wait to see where these pirate adventures lead!

1 Like

S. Serpent

Mar 13, 2022 at 7:23am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Maybe I'm overthinking things, but I quite enjoyed this little poem. Maybe it's the fact that the poem is in the shape of a pyramid, but I think of ascension. I know you like hiking, so I wouldn't be surprised if some of this was molded from those experiences.

Tryst is such a funny word for me; each time I run into the word, I've already forgotten what it means. I had to google it to remind me. Here's hoping this poem lets it stick for me.

Great use of the elements, the sensations makes this place rather bitter yet beautiful to me--like a mountain.

Keep it up! You've always had a great vocabulary right up your sleeve!

1 Like

Ray Scrivener

Dec 17, 2021 at 4:30pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Omelette du fromage, oui oui. But seriously, I've forgotten all but a handful of vocabulary and a snippet of grammar. I really want to get my French passport but that means studying French again to pass a language test. New Year's resolution maybe?

WriterAngel

Dec 17, 2021 at 4:26pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Holy shit! That's so cool! Do you speak French?

Ray Scrivener

Dec 17, 2021 at 4:16pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Citizen, thank you very much! (Even though it's only on account of my father, but hey.)

WriterAngel

Dec 17, 2021 at 3:53pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Never would I have suspected that there was a Francophile in our midst! :)

July 27, 2023 at 12:51pm

#1053127

Another Scary One

This week's Screams story:

Invalid Item

This item number is not valid.
#2300571 by Not Available.

This one's more like my usual fare.

Like • Comment

July 13, 2023 at 9:04pm

#1052574

It's funny...

...how sometimes reviews are so diametrically opposed.

On "Invalid Item"

, I received this review:

My my this poem is enough to make a grown man blush. I’m impressed! Your use of sound and word choice is absolutely exquisite. I love the touch where you actually even meaning sibilance in the poem while actually employing it throughout. I enjoyed the creative Tabor of the line links down to very few words by the end of the poem. That was a neat little touch up pleasing shape the eye follows as you get further and further into your poem. The subject material was steamy and still incredibly frightening at the same time so this too also has an excellent balance. It’s entertaining ina truly creepy way.

So he thinks the word choice is exquisite, right?

Then, the next review is:

The physical form the poem was nice: in a way, it almost reminded me of the fact that the sinuous coils are coming ever closer to the end...

Is this a syllabically measured poem? As in, does each line have a number of syllables that form a pattern? It seems like it would.

One of the things that diminished the poem's strength, at least for me, is the high density of words that are considered "literary", such as 'languid' and 'diaphanous'. There are so many, it makes the process of reading and comprehending it, even for someone who knows all those words, maybe more difficult than it needs to be; I didn't get the point of the poem until the ninth or tenth line because the language was so obfuscated.

Nonetheless, the poem makes its point (very creepily, I might add). And now I won't be able to sleep tonight. Overall, very good work.

They think that the word choice is the weakest part of the poem and actually obfuscated my meaning.

I really appreciate both reviewers for taking the time to give me a thoughtful review. I really love that kind of feedback, and I appreciate their encouragement and constructive criticism. But it's funny how two different thoughtful reviewers can come to such opposing conclusions. It really drives home how there isn't anything "right" or "wrong" with the words you put on the page. People just form their own opinions.

I used to think that when I received criticism, there was something to fix. And sometimes there still is. But I'm gradually realizing that just because one person doesn't like something, I don't necessarily have to agree/fix. I guess maybe I'm getting to be a competent enough writer that I feel like I can begin to disregard some constructive criticism as long as I don't get too cocky. I'm still pretty new to this writing game.

I sometimes get feedback that my syntax is tortured in my poetry to get it to fit a rhyme scheme. And yet, when I read especially some older poetry. Really famous, excellent stuff, it is sometimes pretty tortured. Part of that might have been the language of the day, but I'm fairly certain that some of it isn't just that. They were okay with some tortured syntax. It may well have been intentional. So I've chilled on trying to make everything sound natural. Sometimes natural is boring. Sometimes a little tortured syntax can drive home an image in a way that normal phrasing can't. Sometimes it captures attention in a way that conventional language just isn't as effective at garnering.

Anyway, the longer I do this writing thing, the more I realize that not everyone is going to like a style or a way that I do something. Sometimes, it can mean that I have something to fix. And sometimes it's okay as it is. It's someone's opinion that I don't have to share. And best of all--no matter which way I decide to take it, change or no change, I can't be wrong.

Like • Comment

July 13, 2023 at 8:45pm

#1052573

More Scariness!

This one's more of a dread kind of thing than really scary, but here it is...

Invalid Item

This item number is not valid.
#2299723 by Not Available.

Kudos to Ray on the great prompts. I was too 'fraidy kittenish to watch past the first video because it creeped me out so much!

Like • Comment

Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/books/item_id/2256499-Blog---A-Young-Writers-Journey/month/7-1-2023