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 |   Tales from real life |
| Well, if they're not true, they oughta be! |
I talked with an old friend last week and we reminisced about our college days in the late 1970's. We shared some typical stories and then Dave reminded me of the time I wished we had cable TV. We'd been drinking beers while watching some stupid sitcom and I was bored. There were only a couple of channels available over the air in Bozeman, Montana, so it took about 30 seconds to channel surf our options. And that was mostly because we didn't have a remote control. "There's got to be something better than this," I complained. 'No problem,' Dave replied. "You got a ladder?" "Sure, there's one lying next to the garage." My wife, Debbie, and I were renting a basement apartment at the time, and our elderly landlord lived upstairs with his wife. I'd seen a ladder that looked as old as the landlord while going in and out of our private entrance. We had to park on the street and walk up the narrow driveway so as not to block access to their detached single-car garage. There was already a cable outlet in the wall behind the television, but as starving students we couldn't afford the monthly fee. And Dave had made cable hook-ups back in his hometown, so what followed was almost inevitable. I'd like to say that we weren't drunk, but our judgment may have been slightly impaired. I know I was a little wobbly as we carried the ladder to the utility pole in the alley. We weren't exactly stealthy, but luckily for us, the landlord went to bed early and was kind of deaf besides. So, we soon had the ladder propped up against the pole and Dave commenced to climb. "Hold it steady!" "You bet!' Easier said than done. The ladder was a bit short, but Dave is pretty tall. He could just reach the cable box by standing on the top rung while hugging the pole with one arm (kids, don't try this at home). I held onto the rickety ladder as much to steady myself as to steady Dave. Somehow, he managed to open the box on the utility pole one-handed and hook up the cable wire that went to our apartment. Dave's foot almost pushed the ladder away from the pole once or twice, but he grabbed on with both arms, and I just managed to keep it from falling out from under him. We may not have equaled the comic genius of the three stooges, but it was still a funny performance. Afterward, Dave managed to climb down without falling and we went back inside to try out the cable. We even put the ladder back against the garage first, leaving no evidence of our midnight mission. Other than the raw scrapes on the inside of Dave's arms where he'd clung desperately to the utility pole. Debbie shook her head at our lack of good sense and made Dave sit down at the kitchen table. She tweezed out a few splinters and cleaned off the oozing blood with a wet washcloth. Meanwhile, I was hooking up the TV to the cable outlet. "Hey, Dave, it worked! You're a genius, man!" Debbie looked at his arms and rolled her eyes. Dave just grinned with the satisfaction of a job well done. So, we grabbed a couple more beers and sat down to enjoy the luxury of a full ten channels of clean, clear television. This time it took almost 3 minutes to channel surf through all the shows. "There's got to be something better than this," I complained. |
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