Each day feels new, and my memory of the one before is faint. I’m learning to adapt. |
In September 2019, a seizure revealed a lime-sized meningioma pressed against my hippocampus—the part of the brain that governs memory and language. The doctors said it was benign, but benign didn’t mean harmless. Surgery removed the tumor, and three days later I opened my eyes to a new reality. I could walk, I could talk, but when I looked at my wife, her name was gone. I called her Precious—the only word I could find. A failure of memory, yet perhaps the truest name of all. Recovery has been less cure than re-calibration. Memory gaps are frequent. Conversations vanish. I had to relearn how to write, letter by halting letter. My days are scaffold by alarms, notes, and calendars. When people ask how I am, I don’t list symptoms or struggles. I simply say, “Seven Degrees Left of Center.” It’s not an answer—it’s who I’ve become. Note ▼ |
My story lost its appeal because I made numerous undocumented changes. These overwhelming adjustments turned a good story into a confusing one. This happened because I made too many changes too quickly without managing versions. Combined with my memory issues, it led to chaos. Despite this setback, I still like the story and will start over, almost from the beginning. I will fool myself into saying today is a version 2.0; hell, I don’t remember what I did yesterday anyway. Version 1.0 still exists, so all is not lost. Unfortunately, my writing style before the tumor was a pantser. Now I really need to learn how to be a plotter. Or at least find a middle ground somewhere between. |