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Life after death |
| Death may mark the end of eras, ages, and life stages, but it also marks the beginning of new journeys and the rediscovery of what may have been lost along the way |
| Still pondering this existence and swirling in the uncertainties of my next step forward. Never to be truly accepted seems to be the theme of my life no matter where I am or who I am surrounded by. Family, I suppose, is the one truth. The one constant slowly ebbing away. There are so few left I hold my memories close to my heart. The two I held dearest are just faint lights in my mind now. My heart is heavy with sorrow. I am unsure how it heals. Perhaps it never does. The scars and pain make it harder, but also more resistant to the onslaught of neverending arrows. Poison-tipped, fiery arrows that shock you like lightning bolts out of a thunderous rage being shouted out at you by the thoughts of others. Will it ever end? That rage seems to be directed towards me, but is it all just in my head? I am not sure anymore what is real and what I just imagine in my head. Not sure that imagination is necessarily a detriment, but I don't know how many others can understand the depths of my mind and not judge it To be just another crazy person. A misguided woman. I know who I am, but I have tried to present an image more acceptable - to the world - to society - to the people I am surrounded by. I think, I know I can just be myself, but it takes great strength in the face of others who would love to bring me down and crush me just so they can feel better. Just because they don't know how to just be. Be one with the world. Be one with others. Allow the feelings to swirl around, take over for awhile. Just to remove yourself from your own torturous mind. Be at peace. Like a diamond washing away to the sea depths. Waiting to be cleansed by the salt and rough water. Only to be thrown aside by the waves |
| A light has gone out and now, I am left in the darkness. Floundering around without a guide. I am alone in this place With no emotions And no thoughts. Completely empty. You cannot guide me out of this abyss, But I must find myself And pull my own spirit out. It is still there - Just a tiny spark to find. Just one last minute bit Of hope That will shine brightly again. Keep your faith close at hand As it will fill you up once again, In time. |
| Life seems so pointless at times and other times it seems full of possibilities. Which way will I wake up and feel tomorrow? Will I feel like there is a never ending abyss waiting to take me down or will I feel like I can take on new challenges? Will I feel full of hope of full of sadness? I'm not sure when this uncertainty will end, but hopefully I can shake the darkness off and move forward with confidence. How long did I live feeling like I had to make things work with what I had instead of living for what I truly wanted? How long did I deny myself feelings and deny myself the things I truly enjoyed and wanted in life? I don't want to be what someone else wants me to be any longer. I just want to be the me I am meant to be. The one who loves getting lost in stories, video games, and fantasy worlds. Who loves art and creativity. Who sees colour and life in music. Who feels the music in their veins. The one who wants to feel free to be herself and not worry about what anyone else thinks about who she is or how she presents herself. I want to be full of childlike wonder and amazement for the world around me. Sit and stare at the sky and the clouds and see the shapes and patterns and figures that take me away with them. I want to get lost in the moment and forget everything else that is happening around me. I want to feel deeply - truly feel the world around me. Feel the vibrations in the air. Feel the dream-like state that I crave is okay to get lost in when I am alone or surrounded by people. Know that the spirit in my is real. Know that the spirit is alive and real. |
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