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My journal about my conversion to Judaism. |
I started writing my conversion story in June 2023, even though it started before then. It will not be in chronological order as I remember things from the past that brought me to this point in my life. My decision to convert was not an easy one. I grew up Pentecostal. I watched my grandma speak in tongues. My aunt played keyboard in the church band. I used to attend church (a member of a Baptist church for many years) 3 to 4 times a week. I did not start my journey of healing after my divorce and expect to end up here. However, my desire and work to grow closer to G-d has left me no doubt or question about where I am now. I have no hesitation in my conversion to Judaism. This is my story of leaving Christianity and becoming a part of a people that I will be able to, one day, proudly say that I am also. A Jew. |
My dad started in on me once every hour that I was with him. He has a cross (many but one in particular) that he said has sand and gravel from Israel. My response was, "Don't you think it's creepy and a bit sadistic to have a cross with a guy hanging on it displayed on your wall?" That did not go over well and I was subjected to a long lecture about Jesus dying on the cross for our sins. There are times I can hold my tongue, but other times I cannot. I tried to get his attention on other things, repeatedly. I knew we were going to different Thanksgiving dinners, so I only had to survive the night and the next the morning. The family's house I went to after leaving my dad's was great, like I knew it would be. There are people that G-d puts in your life that will always love you and support you and hope for your life to good, happy, and blessed, regardless of your differences. I'm thankful for them. I read in books about how much of a difficult time people have with going to family gatherings when they convert because of all the food that they are tempted with. As I stood at the beginning of the tables displayed with various kinds of food, I had to make decisions. Did I want to keep kosher or enjoy a night of indulgence? Today is Thanksgiving in the US. That means that turkey, ham, stuffing, sausage, ham covered pickles, potatoes, green bean casserole, corn, and lots and lots of varieties of pies covered the table. With the exception of the few raw vegetables and the cucumber salad that I brought, everything contained dairy or meat, and some of that meat was pork. I did not eat any pork. I, for the first time that I can remember, did not eat any meat on Thanksgiving. I ate homemade mashed potatoes, corn, green beans, cheese and crackers, and my salad. Then I enjoyed a small piece of apple pie. I am not sad at all that I did not eat any turkey. This was actually the second time in a week that I turned down eating turkey so that I could eat dairy instead. The first time, I even made the turkey! When I started this journey, I was happy for the chance to choose G-d. I didn't know that I would be faced again and again with the choice to choose him. I want my life to make Him happy and to be a reflection of how much I love him and appreciate everything he has done and will do for me. I want to choose G-d over my own desires every time. Happy Thanksgiving everyone and have a blessed Shabbat. |