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My journal about my conversion to Judaism. |
| I started writing my conversion story in June 2023, even though it started before then. It will not be in chronological order as I remember things from the past that brought me to this point in my life. My decision to convert was not an easy one. I grew up Pentecostal. I watched my grandma speak in tongues. My aunt played keyboard in the church band. I used to attend church (a member of a Baptist church for many years) 3 to 4 times a week. I did not start my journey of healing after my divorce and expect to end up here. However, my desire and work to grow closer to G-d has left me no doubt or question about where I am now. I have no hesitation in my conversion to Judaism. This is my story of leaving Christianity and becoming a part of a people that I will be able to, one day, proudly say that I am also. A Jew. |
| As the feeling of being overwhelmed with information subsides, it is now easy to come up with questions. Like a child, I ask a lot of why questions. One of the many questions: Why do we use wine for kiddush? and if wine is so important, why is it okay to eat a piece of desert and say the mazonot instead of drinking the wine? I had never even heard of the substitution until last Saturday and no one has given me a good explanation yet. The fact that some of the explanations are contradictory is not surprising. Every question I have in Judaism (or about life in general) is answered somewhere by some sage or rabbi long ago. So it depends on the context of the answer as to whether their explanation actually answers the question I'm asking, or if it can be answered in a minute recording (what I usually get) or a link to an article. The depth of Judaism often leaves me with a simplified surface level answer and waiting to hear a longer more in depth and detailed explanation. I will wait patiently, because I know the answer will come. There are just so many questions and only so much time to answer them. There is nothing done just because. Everything has a purpose that leads back to honoring Hashem. When I get that answer, then I'll be satisfied. On a personal note, my daughter is home for the first Friday night in months. I started the cholent, made a cucumber salad, made desert, set the table, and will pick up some bread (I was too sick to make challah this week) on my way home. Shabbat starts at 5:00 here. It will a rush to get home in time, but I am determined to be home. Have a great and blessed weekend. |
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