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My journal about my conversion to Judaism. |
| I started writing my conversion story in June 2023, even though it started before then. It will not be in chronological order as I remember things from the past that brought me to this point in my life. My decision to convert was not an easy one. I grew up Pentecostal. I watched my grandma speak in tongues. My aunt played keyboard in the church band. I used to attend church (a member of a Baptist church for many years) 3 to 4 times a week. I did not start my journey of healing after my divorce and expect to end up here. However, my desire and work to grow closer to G-d has left me no doubt or question about where I am now. I have no hesitation in my conversion to Judaism. This is my story of leaving Christianity and becoming a part of a people that I will be able to, one day, proudly say that I am also. A Jew. |
| This was my first Shabbat since I have lived here that I did not have to work. I made dinner and stayed home. I didn't feel rushed. I made amazing honey glazed chicken and had a beautiful Shabbat dinner. For the first time, I didn't feel stressed when I read the Friday night kiddush. I pronounced the words in Hebrew well and only stumbled on a couple of words. That's good for me. I have always struggled with saying kiddush. Thank you GZ for building my confidence in my Hebrew ability. I've really enjoyed lighting the Chanukah candles this year. It is definitely different getting to light real candles compared to my electric one that I had last year. I still have my electric one as decoration on my kitchen table, but lighting the Chanukah candles every night brings a sense of peace to my soul that the electric one does not. I played dreidel for the first time. I struggled spinning the big heavy one, but the small ones I can spin no problem. It is quite relaxing and addicting to just spin the dreidel. I did get to go to the giant menorah lighting. It was inside a building, which was not expected, but it was a lot of fun. There was a magician at this one. There is one tomorrow that is outside in a park and there will a fire show! I was worried that Chanukah would be a holiday for children, and there are some aspects that are for children. However, it is a holiday that is filled with light and magic because of the meaning behind it. If I was a child experiencing Chanukah for the first time, that meaning would be lost in the activities and the childhood fun. The gatherings and activities, while they are fun, are only an addition to the meaning and the message behind Chanukah. G-d still does miracles every day. Every time I light the Chanukah candles, I get to remember the miracle of the oil, yes, but also the miracles all around me that I get to witness every day of my life. I am thankful that I get to experience Chanukah with my community at this point in my spiritual journey. Thank you G-d for this Shabbat and for the extra love, light, and peace that you have given me this week.   |
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