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My journal about my conversion to Judaism. |
| I started writing my conversion story in June 2023, even though it started before then. It will not be in chronological order as I remember things from the past that brought me to this point in my life. My decision to convert was not an easy one. I grew up Pentecostal. I watched my grandma speak in tongues. My aunt played keyboard in the church band. I used to attend church (a member of a Baptist church for many years) 3 to 4 times a week. I did not start my journey of healing after my divorce and expect to end up here. However, my desire and work to grow closer to G-d has left me no doubt or question about where I am now. I have no hesitation in my conversion to Judaism. This is my story of leaving Christianity and becoming a part of a people that I will be able to, one day, proudly say that I am also. A Jew. |
| On Mondays, my very American Rabbi holds a zoom class titled Weekly Roundup. In this class, he discusses topics that he usually received questions about from those converting, or that has to do with the weekly Torah and Haftarah readings, or upcoming holidays. The recordings are abailable on YouTube under Chabad.org's page. This past Monday he discussed bruchas (blessings) before and after eating, what, when, and why. I think this was the lesson that finally helped me get it. Though I was doing well with the before eating bruchas, I knew I wasn't the after eating bruchas. Why say a blessing before and after eating? Because in Judaism, thanking G-d is interwoven into every aspect of life. Everything we have, everything we eat, every blessing we receive is because of Hashem. Everything belongs to him and he loves us so much, he gives us food to nourish our bodies, clean clothes to wear, and a warm bed to sleep in at night. He gives us rest at night and gives us breath for another day. Because G-d blesses us and takes such good care of us, we should thank him in return. I watched a video that said for some, it is a goal to say 100 blessings a day. I'm not sure how that is possible. I have said (by my count) 21 blessings today and most likely will only say a few more before falling asleep tonight. I understand giving thanks and the heartfelt desire to thank the G-d who has given me so much and blessed me so greatly, but I don't want it to become a chore or a game. Every brucha I do is heartfelt because I know I have so much to be thankful for. I don't want to lose the meaning behind my words and it become just something I do. Thank you my G-d, my redeemer, keeper of my heart, for blessing me today and every day. |
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