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My journal about my conversion to Judaism. |
| I started writing my conversion story in June 2023, even though it started before then. It will not be in chronological order as I remember things from the past that brought me to this point in my life. My decision to convert was not an easy one. I grew up Pentecostal. I watched my grandma speak in tongues. My aunt played keyboard in the church band. I used to attend church (a member of a Baptist church for many years) 3 to 4 times a week. I did not start my journey of healing after my divorce and expect to end up here. However, my desire and work to grow closer to G-d has left me no doubt or question about where I am now. I have no hesitation in my conversion to Judaism. This is my story of leaving Christianity and becoming a part of a people that I will be able to, one day, proudly say that I am also. A Jew. |
| I've been thinking a lot lately about the many times I was exposed to Jewish ideas before I ever even knew they were. One of my professors in college talked about tefillin and how the boxes got larger for show so it wasn't really proper to wear them since they are just for show. Being a woman, I don't have to worry about them, nor do I have an opinion about them. I remember going on a field trip with my daughter D2 to a farm that made dairy products. Their ice cream was kosher certified. I had no idea at that time what that meant. They were very strict on where we could walk because they wanted to keep their kosher certification. There was a Rabbi in one of the barns and the kids were asking if we knew him (we wore skirts and culottes). In one of the barns, I watched him talking to a cow. I had never seen a Rabbi in person before that moment. The last memory makes me a little bit sad. I was at a thrift store with my children. One of my children found a cup with two handles and asked me what it was for. The lady working at the thrift store said they had gotten a lot of things donated from an estate. At the time, I had no idea why there would be two handles on a cup. Maybe it was for a child learning how to drink, but it was rather big for that. I now know that it is a ritual cup for washing hands in the morning, after using the bathroom, and before eating bread. I understand that cup there wasn't very expensive (I actually have two of the exact same type), but it is still a bit sad that it was just donated to a thrift store. Just memories. |
| I did not make it to class or Tehillim today. My allergies had me worn out and my nose dripping. I stayed home and studied. I am studying the Shulchan Aruch. I am not very far into it yet since I only got it this week and worked all week. However, there is already a line that has stuck out. I am definitely not a morning person. I hit snooze way too many times and that makes me always run late. The first volume starts off talking about how to get up in the morning. Of course I say the Modeh Ani right when I wake up. However, the actually getting out of bed is the difficult part. "I will awaken the morning; the morning will not awaken me." (p. 10) It talks about the importance of getting up immediately once awaking to show service to G-d. It actually used the word "alacrity," which means with zeal or eagerness. I think it is important to remind ourselves why we wake up in the morning and why we go throughout our day trying to make a difference in the world. If I transform my morning, will I transform the rest of my day? I guess, we shall see. |
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