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Story of a runaway boy that ended up with the best and worst in life. Set in '60's. |
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The Making of a Modern Day Cowboy by charlie55 Chapter 1 It was after eleven p. m. when everything was quiet in the house. Charlie slipped downstairs to the refrigerator and put some leftovers into a flour sack, Tupperware containers and all. The containers were his stepmother's, and she would be more upset about losing the containers than him running away. It was summer as he slipped out the back door into the night. Charlie was sixteen years old as of last Thursday. After having his birthday ignored, he decided he couldn't take any more of this, this hatred? At least that's how he would describe his stepmother, Elsie's feelings towards him. A year ago his father, Richard had married Elsie and brought her with her three bratty daughters into his home. After six weeks of living with Elsie and her brats, Charlie had begged his Dad to send him back to Oklahoma to his mother. Richard didn't know where his mother was and he wasn't going to start looking. Thinking back to when Charlie was nine years old was not something he enjoyed remembering. That day the students were getting out of school early, because of a teachers meeting, so Charlie had walked the short distance home. Charlie was using this as an excuse to take his time getting home. Charlie didn't pay much attention to the car parked by the detached garage, nor the voices coming from Mom and Dad's bedroom. When Charlie walked into the bedroom to talk to them about school, he was shocked to see that it wasn't Dad's bare chest, that was leaning against the headboard, nor his Dad smoking a cigarette. It was a stranger that was talking to Mom. Mom pulled the sheet to cover up a little more, and told Charlie, 'to go to the front steps of the house and wait for her to get dressed.' Sitting still was not something a nine year old could easily do, but Charlie had a feeling this was important. After a while Mom came out and sat down on the steps with Charlie. “I'm sorry Charlie that you saw Frank and I upstairs. But I suppose it had to happen sometime. Charlie, I still love you but I want you to stay sitting here until your Father gets home. I'm going to leave with Frank. When your Father gets home, he will be mad, and Frank and I should not be here. You know your Father gets mad a lot since he came home from the Army. I don't want Frank or your Father to get hurt because your Father is angry. I knew you would understand. I love you, but I gotta go! I love you Charlie.” As his Mom, Cricket, turned towards Frank's car, Charlie whispered, “But not enough Mom.” Cricket flinched and kept walking. When Dad got home, Charlie was really scared. Dad had the same look in his eyes as when he spanked Charlie, only this time a lot worse. “Tell me where Mom is.” “I don't know Dad. Mom said she had to leave with Frank before you got home!” “She did, did she! And why did she say she had to leave with Frank?” “I went upstairs to talk to Mom and she was talking to Frank in your guy's-es bedroom.” “Where was Frank in our bedroom?” “He was in bed with his shirt off.” All Dad said was, “I see.” And he went into the house. Dad was in the house for a long time until he came back out and sat down by Charlie. “You know Charlie, I think we are going to put our clothes into a couple of bags and head for Nebraska. I have a Mother and Father there that I haven't seen in a while. Doesn't this sound like fun?” Ya right! For Charlie the whole day had been fun until he came home. But Charlie said what his Dad expected from him. “OK.” Now Dad was married to Elsie and wouldn't allow Charlie to stay at his Grandmother's out at the farm. In fact Dad had told Charlie, “If you go anywhere without telling me I'm going to tan your behind until you won't be able to sit for a week!” Charlie knew Dad meant it. For five years Charlie stayed with Grandma and Grandpa and enjoyed helping with the animals while Dad worked in town. Grandpa told him all about how Charlie's Dad had served in Germany during the war, (W.W. II) and met Charlie's Mom while stationed at Fort Sill, Oklahoma. Charlie also learned from Grandpa that Charlie's Mom, Cricket, was a quarter Indian. That bit of information had given Charlie a funny feeling. Maybe it was the way Grandpa had told him. Like that was the reason Cricket had left him. All Charlie really knew was he was running away now and had better not get caught. He was headed east out of Ames, thinking he needed to go to Omaha to find a train going south to Oklahoma and find Mom. She would take him in! His Mom loved him! Peddling his bike to the edge of town he saw a stock truck loaded with cattle. He wasn't that good with gauging trucks yet, but he thought maybe it was about a '58' or '60' two ton truck that could hold six to eight cows on it. He didn't want to call attention to himself so when he opened the passenger door to get in he covered himself up with a burlap feed sack that was on the floorboard. When the farmer jumped into the truck to fire it up, without seeing his passenger, Charlie went to sleep. Things got quiet when the truck was shut off and that woke up Charlie. He thought it was light outside but then realized it was artificial lighting outside. He looked toward the driver's seat and didn't see any legs so he raised his head up and looked outside the truck. He grabbed his sack of food and jumped out. It looked like Charlie was at a stockyard next to a railroad track. He saw some railroad cars sitting on the track and went to investigate and to find a place to hide. He had heard from classmates and adults that people who didn't pay to ride on a train got beat up if they were caught. He saw a railroad car that had little two foot by two foot doors on the side of it. He looked inside to see what was in it but could only smell oats. It smelled wonderful, just like the granary at Grandpa's. He crawled in and went to sleep once more. What woke him up this time was a jolting in the grain car and a banging, like metal hitting metal. He saw it was daylight outside so he poked his head out of the car to look around but pulled his head in quickly. There were people walking around outside that looked like railroad men. Charlie was very hungry, so he decided to eat some of the leftovers he had brought from home. The one container of food disappeared fast. He realized then that he should have brought some water along. About that time he felt the car start to move. Seeing a ladder inside the car and a hatch on the roof, he climbed up the ladder and got the hatch open. The train was leaving town and moving past small farms out in the countryside. Charlie was sure becoming thirsty and could use a sip of water but there wasn't any. Later in the afternoon Charlie decided a big glass of water would be wonderful, or maybe a pitcher of water would be better yet. It wasn't long after this that Charlie saw a big town coming in sight up the railroad tracks. When the train pulled up to the depot in the town, Charlie grabbed his sack and ran away from the train. He ran down the street for a couple of blocks, then started walking. Six blocks away from the train he came to a service station for vehicles. The outside men's restroom was locked, but the attendant inside was busy and he barely noticed when Charlie asked for the restroom key. Once inside the restroom Charlie drank water straight from the sink. After doing his business in the restroom he looked around for something to hold water. Looking behind the gas station he found a quart jar with a lid. Going into the restroom he cleaned the jar up the best that he could and filled it with water. Leaving the bag and jar by the back of the station, he reentered the service station to give back the key. Charlie had eighty six cents in his pocket. He might buy a hamburger if he was lucky, but he still had leftovers in his bag. He went behind the station again and hid among the old tires that were piled there and ate another helping of potatoes with some gravy and waited for night. When dusk turned to night Charlie walked back to the railroad tracks. He found and crawled into the grain car that he had been in earlier and waited. Before long he was fast asleep. Subconsciously Charlie knew that it should bother him that he was going in the wrong direction to get back to his Mom. What was in the forefront of his mind was the enormity of what he had undertaken. This was a big and strange world that he had embarked upon. He had to rely solely on his own wits to keep food in his stomach and himself out of harm's way. Putting distance between him and his Dad took importance above all else. In the middle of the night Charlie woke up, because he was cold. For the next three hours he had his head out of the roof hatch, looking around and thinking. How could he take care of himself and survive? The next morning he was awakened once again by the moving of the train car he was in. He waited for a while before he stuck his head over the roof of the car to see where they were, but all he saw were more farms. The sun was behind him this morning so he knew the train was heading west. He had to stay out of sight most of the time because it seemed they were stopping at every little town along the way. By the time the sun had set there were fewer farms between towns and less tiled land with more pastures in which cattle grazed. By the time the train stopped it was well into the night. Charlie decided he'd just stay where he was, at least until daybreak. When he woke up again the sun was up in the sky and the birds were singing. Peeking his head out of the grain door of the train car, he saw that the coast was clear, and he could jump out. It didn't look like much of a town as the streets were gravel. To Charlie's way of thinking the elevator that the grain car was parked next to was way too small as well. He was stepping out of the car when a guy in jeans and work shirt carrying a broom and scoop shovel came around the corner. “Hey young fella, are you here to help me clean out the car so we can put wheat back in it?” He looked like a jovial person to Charlie so he thought he might try to be friends with the guy. “I can, but if I do, would you answer some questions for me?” “Sure, but let's talk while you work. The thing we need to do here is clean all the oats out of this car and then close it up so the wheat we put back in here won't leak out. Can't have that! I'm going topside and I'll open the middle hatch. Start sweeping. Throw the oats out the doors.” Charlie had one corner cleaned out and was starting on the second corner when the guy came back down from the roof. “What's your name, youngster?” The guy asked. “I'm Charlie. What's your name?” “I'm Donny Cousins. Ya I know. I'm everyone's cousin. But that's really my name.” Donny noticed Charlie hadn't given him a last name. “What c ha doing in Wood, South Dakota? From the way you look, I know you had to have come here on this here train.” “I ran away from home. It was just me and my Dad, and then my Dad got married to the wicked witch. I won't go back. I hate her, and her three bratty daughters.” “Well you can't stay here. If I'm going to help you, you'll have to tell me your last name. OK.” “Really! You just want to report me, I know.” “No that's not it. I will need your last name in case someone comes looking for you. I think your last name should be Smith. Now what's your real name?” “Mcfee. But Smith sounds a lot better. Now what are you going to do?” Charlie was more than expecting Donny to march him to the sheriff's office and turn him in. “We'll find a job for you of course. Are you a farm boy? What can you do?” “I helped my Grandpa feed the cows and the pigs and collected the eggs.” “Well, I never heard of pigs laying eggs, but I don't know everything. Maybe they do that at your Grandpa's farm. Things in Nebraska aren't quite the same as here. Or maybe it's the town? What was the town you said your Grandpa lived at? I think I'll go make a phone call to a friend I have. He might need some help. You are doing a good job here. Bring the shovel and broom into the elevator when you're done. Then we'll close the doors and seal them from any leaks. OK?” “OK.” All day Donny kept up a subtle interrogation that tricked Charlie into giving another bit of information. Anytime the Boss or a customer asked about Charlie, Donny would say, “This is my nephew, Chuck.” At closing time an older string-bean of a fella came in and said he needed a couple bags of oats. Looking Charlie over, the old guy asked, “Say Donny, who is this young lad that you got with you?” Donny piped right up and said, “Tex, I'd like you to meet my nephew, Charlie Smith. Chuck, this is a friend of mine, Tex Samples. Charlie, I have a problem that I need help with. You see, I have a wife at home and she gets peeved at me when I bring a stray animal home with me. I think she's jealous of my time. My dogs, cats and pet skunks all seem to disappear when I'm not home. Now, I'm not saying she'd take you behind the barn and shoot you, but I bet she'd try to send you back to where you came from, and I don't think you're ready for that! Tex gets lonesome all by himself and I bet he could use some company. What do you think, Tex? Could you use a young hired hand around your place? He's been a great help for me today.” “Well shore Donny. I could always use good help. Charlie, would you want to come with me for a couple of days and see if you can set a horse? It's not as hard as it looks.” “Ya Tex, I'd like that! I never rode a horse before. Is it hard?” “It's hard on the butt, but we'll break you in slow and easy. Grab your clothes and we'll get.” “Sorry, but I don't have any clothes. I mean, I ain't got no clothes with me. I have some Tupperware containers and a Mason jar?” “Well, I might have to do some trading. Tupperware might be nice to have,but we might have you get on a haystack. How about if I buy some clothes for you? How does that sound?” “I'll do whatever you want, Mister. I'm thanking you for the job!” “Don't be too fast in thanking me. If it rains soon, we'll take a trip to the Outlaw Trading Post and get you some jeans. We'll talk to you later Donny. Let's go!” Things were quiet in Tex's old pickup. Tex was not saying much and the pickup had no radio. Leaving the town of Wood, they headed west. The sign outside of town said Hwy 44, but it was a gravel road. After fifteen miles or so they came to a stop sign where Tex turned the pickup north. After another mile they drove into another town called White River. Tex spoke up as they were going into White River, “I usually pick up my oats at the feed store here, but Donny called and said he'd gotten some good oats in recently.” Charlie knew by that comment that Donny had called Tex, and Donny had been looking for a home for him. Charlie thought to himself, 'Donny didn't owe me anything. He could have turned me over to the authorities.' The 'thanks' was still pending. To Charlie, Tex looked like a no-nonsense kind of guy. A little rough around the edges and blunt speaking, if and when he said anything. Coming into the town Tex turned left, which was heading west out of town. The sign said leaving town that they were still on Hwy 44, and driving towards a town called Cedar Butte, that was fourteen miles ahead. After traveling for another ten or twelve miles they turned north onto a one lane dirt road. A couple more miles north, Tex turned into a driveway that had a small house, barn and corral with three horses. Tex's introduction was, “This is it.” The thought running through Charlie's head was, 'I wanted to get away from Elsie and her monster brats and it looks like I got my wish! This is nowhere land!' Tex pulled into the yard and jumped out of the pickup to walk to the back end of the pickup and dropped the tailgate. Jumping back into the driver's seat he turned the old pickup around and backed up to the barn. Three feet away from the barn, Tex said, “Open the barn door and hold it open while I back up.” Charlie did what Tex asked, but Tex didn't back up. Instead he put the pickup in neutral and approached Charlie. “Charlie, you have to always be aware of danger. You are standing between the door and my truck. Stand over to the side. And when I need to stop, raise your hand and close your fist like this. OK.” “OK!” Once they had the pickup backed up, Tex went on explaining how things were done. “We put the oats into this little room and latch the door so the horses can't get to it. Oats are rich in protein and fiber. Horses, if they can eat all they want, won't quit eating and will end up foundering themselves. This coffee can is my measuring can. The two gelding's get about three fourths of the can apiece and the mare gets half a can each day. The younger gelding is green broke and needs a lot of work every day. We'll work on him when we're not putting up hay. I'll take you around tomorrow and show you the cattle.” Tex continued talking, “Let's go in the house now and make us some supper. You're hungry, aren't you?” “Yes I am. The last time I ate was this morning. I'll grab the Tupperware and bring it in. It's good for leftovers.” Charlie felt foolish after having said that but all Tex said was, “I've heard that.” Supper was two pieces of meat fried with a couple of boiled potatoes with butter. Charlie thought it was the best steak he'd ever eaten. After supper Tex showed Charlie where he would be sleeping and also showed Charlie his stack of books and magazines and then went and sat in his chair with the latest rancher publication. Charlie went through the books and found what he thought might be interesting. It wasn't long and his eyes were getting heavy and he was falling to sleep. Tex woke him up and hustled him off to bed. Tex sat for another half hour marveling at what that young fella had done. Sure, Charlie had been lucky, but he had shown some forethought and backbone. 'Ya he might just have the stuff that it takes to handle the world. He could make a man proud!' The next morning at six am. Tex was rapping on Charlie's bedroom door. “Wake up Charlie. The sun's shining and daylight is wasting. I'm going to make us some breakfast and I need you to go grain the horses. Remember what we talked about last night out in the barn?” “I remember. Three fourths of a coffee can for the geldings and a half of a can for the mare.” “Good boy!” Coming in for breakfast, Charlie was met by sausage and flapjacks and coffee. “Do you want milk Charlie?” “No, this is good. Thank you.” “Good. After breakfast we will work with the horses until the dew is off the grass. Then we'll put up hay. OK?” “OK. What horse do I get to ride?” “You're sitting on the mare this morning and I'll show you how to neck-rein a horse's neck and how to start and stop one.” It was a twenty minute breakfast and then back outside. Tex showed Charlie how to put a bit into a horse's mouth and cinch a saddle. Tex rode the green-broke gelding and Charlie rode alongside, learning while doing. Two hours in the saddle and Charlie was ready to get off the mare for a break. Then it was off the horse and out to the hay field. Tex had a hay cage that held about ten ton of hay when it was full. Tex explained how he wanted Charlie to move the hay around as he dumped the hay into the cage. Tex had a loader tractor with a haybuck mounted on it. All morning Tex dropped hay into the cage. At noon Tex thought the stack was finished so Tex opened the cage and they moved it into another big area where the hay was still on the ground. Then they drove back to the house for dinner. After dinner Tex and Charlie drove to three pastures to check on the cattle, and Tex instructed Charlie what to look for when checking pastures, so that someday Charlie would know what to look for when he was by himself checking pastures. Then it was back to filling the hay cage again. Several days later they awoke to find it had rained during the night, so after exercising the horses, Tex stated, “We're going to town to buy you some clothes. Good thing we washed those clothes you got on last night or you might have had to ride in the back of the pickup because of the smell.” It took two hours to drive to the Outlaw Trading Post in Winner, South Dakota. Tex bought clothes for Charlie plus groceries and a hamburger for dinner. Charlie was wearing his new jeans, boots and shirt when Tex pulled into Wood to talk to Donny. “Stay in the pickup Charlie. I won't be too long.” It was more like a half hour before Tex and Donny came back out of the elevator. First thing Donny asked Charlie was, “How are you doing Charlie? Are you learning anything? How's Tex treating you?” “Just great. Tex bought these new clothes for me today. He spent over one hundred dollars on my clothes alone. We're breaking a two year old colt and putting up hay. I'm tired every night but I'm having fun! Anything happening in Wood?” “Same old same o'. Nothing ever happens in Wood. Say Tex, what are your plans for the fourth? There is going to be a rodeo in White River this year. You ought to come.” “We'll think about it, Donny. Take care and we'll see you later.” The night after Charlie had shown up in Wood in a train car, Donny was sitting in his chair with a pencil and a paper pad, jotting done some things he was remembering from his day with Charlie. ""Sweetheart?” Donny yelled to his wife. “Nebraska still has a telephone area code of 402? Right?” “I think so. Are you thinking about making a long distance phone call? It costs to call you know.” “Long distance is cheaper at night. I'll keep it short. Hello, operator? _-_- Phone number for Ames Nebraska. For a Richard Mcfee? _-_-_ 402-xxx-xxxx, Thank you. “Hello, Richard Mcfee? _-_-_ Would you have a son by the name of Charlie?_-_-_ He's fine. _-_-_ No, I don't think that's wise. Is your new wife tolerant of Charlie? He seems to think she hates him. Do you know anything about this? _-_-_ Charlie is with an old timer that I think could use some company and help. Why don't you give Charlie a break from your household. _-_-_ This summer would be good. It's too early to tell, but if the boy and that old timer will get along alright, I could see this going along for a couple of years. _-_-_ Your son is going through his formative years. He doesn't need to be resenting you or his stepmother right now. -_-_- If you feel Charlie needs a high school education, maybe you need to supplement his care if that's how you feel. _-_-_ No he won't be abused in any way, shape or form. _-_-_ I will call the Ames school. _-_-_ I think a hundred dollars a month would be adequate _-_-_ Yes, seventy would be fine. Send it to Donny Cousins, Wood South Dakota. _-_-_ We'll keep in touch. Goodbye. Richard hung up the phone with this stranger from Wood, South Dakota. He'd never heard of a town by that name. For three days he had been worried about where Charlie was and had swore if he got his hands on that ungrateful kid he would tan his behind till he couldn't sit for a week. Richard had thought Charlie and Elsie were getting along fine. What in the World? Richard made a decision. He would be making a trip to Wood with the first month's support of Charlie and see what Charlie had got himself into. Seventy dollars a month didn't sound like much, but having a monthly income of four hundred a month wasn't a whole lot either. Richard was thinking next Thursday and Friday would be excellent days to leave work. It was time to get out a map. Chapter II Charlie woke up with Tex opening and pounding on his bedroom door. “Time to wake up Charlie. Today's your big day.” 'Ya, right.' Charlie thought. 'This is starting out like every day. Do the chores. Feed the horses. Eat breakfast... I'm not complaining. I've been doing this for over two years. The only special thing about today is I'm walking across the high school drama stage and getting my diploma. Then we'll come home and I'll get some hay cut.' Jumping out of bed he shucked on his chore clothes and ran out the door. They still had the same horses with one addition. The mare had a yearling stud horse. 'Not for long.' he thought. Tex had talked to the veterinarian. Now the colt was scheduled next week to become a gelding. Tex had talked to Charlie about how and if horses were to continue to improve, only the best should be allowed to perpetuate the species. When Tex and Charlie had taken the mare to a stud on another ranch, the colt was already destined to become a workhorse. Tex had introduced the youngster to a rope and bridle, in preparation to becoming a gelding. As Charlie was looking over the land, a lot of memories were running through his mind. Of course, being on a ranch meant calving the cows out in the spring and branding the calves in early summer. Charlie had practiced roping on the back of the older gelding with the intent of hooking the back legs of calves, Otherwise known as Heeling. Tex and Charlie planted and hoed the garden last year and were in the process of putting another garden in this year. They even bought jars and lids and learned how to can and keep food. Last year they put a water pump into the cistern (A concrete underground water jar that held two thousand gallons of water) and plumbing that would bring water into the house. They strung electric wires to the pump that was controlled by a pressure sensitive switch on a ballast tank. They installed a hot water heater in the kitchen pantry and a toilet stool that was invented by a man with the name of Crapper. They had put a septic tank in the back yard, with a sewer line from toilet stool in the house to the septic tank and a drain field from the septic tank. Tex had insisted they did the work themselves. Charlie never had a moment when he had become bored. There were only a couple of times when Tex had to discipline Charlie. One of those times was this past fourth of July. They were ready to head to White River for the Independence day celebration when Tex stopped the truck after turning around in the driveway. “Somethings wrong.” Tex exclaimed. “The horses aren't in the shade by the barn!” Walking to the barn they discovered that the horses were into the oats. “Daaam!” Tex spewed. “There goes our fourth! Change of plans. We are going to have to walk these horses till the oats passes or they will founder and their hooves will grow and curl and their hooves will become too sensitive for us to ride them. The only thing we can do then, if that happens, is sell them to the glue factory! Let's saddle up the two geldings and a lead rope on the mare.” The rest of the day was spent riding the three pastures and talking. One of the things Tex talked about that day was all the land around them that belonged to the native people. Charlie had gone to school with many American Natives for the last year. “See Old Manchein's place across the crick over there? His Dad bought a quarter from an Indian that once owned it,like I bought my quarter. That's not allowed anymore. But, if you own a piece of land like that, you can put your buildings on it as your headquarters and rent the land around you. That's what I did after I went bellied up in Montana. After the First World War I spent ten years in that cold country. It's been a good, but sometimes, a very lonely life. A lot of wives can't stand the loneliness out here if you don't have a lot of money to socialize with. There was another thing that Charlie hadn't realized when he entered high school in White River two years ago. For all the native people in White River, fewer than half of the teenagers went to high school. They appeared to Ranchers and the town's store owners as defeated people that didn't care, but the Native American people knew it was best to be polite. There were no jobs for them to be had, and job availability was not really what they wanted. The Ranchers would hire them for the jobs the Ranchers didn't want to do themselves and then complained that the Natives didn't do the jobs like they could. Alcohol was their way of forgetting life's disappointments and a way of passing the time and escaping the world they were in. While under the influence of alcohol their frustrations would surface and their masks would come off. If one of the high school natives would strive for good grades, the other native kids would ostracize them, and call them names. To Charlie, the scope of their problems were mind boggling. In the preamble to the Constitution, Thomas Jefferson stated that all men were created equal. Charlie thought about that a lot! If all men were created equal, then equality started and ended right after conception. The negative feelings the Mother felt as she carried the child. The abuse the Mother heaped upon herself and the child, before and after the child was in the womb. After the womb was the treatment that was handed out to them by everyone around them. To Charlie that was a great theory! Charlie had it easy with his life and knew it. Two years ago, before school started, Donny had driven a big old car out to Tex's place, which Donny had found for twenty bucks. It was burning oil like crazy and was running rough. Tex said, “That car is smoking so bad that it would kill mosquitoes a half mile away.” Tex and Charlie took the car into the old barn, pulled and tore apart the motor. After Donny showed Charlie what they all needed for replacement parts, they went to town and Donny bought them. With an IT manual repair book, Charlie and Tex put the motor back together again. Charlie had a school car that he drove for the next two years. Tex taught him how to do general maintenance and fix problems that arose with the car from time to time. Charlie didn't really care to work on the car so he tried to take care of the beaten-up-clunker. Having finished up with chores and feeling like he'd spent more than enough time outside before breakfast, he ran to the house and slipped his chore boots off, or as Tex would say, 'his shit kickers.' Slipping his good boots on, Charlie walked into the kitchen and sat up to the table. Tex was already eating his bacon, eggs and pancakes. As Charlie was scoping the food onto his plate, Tex finished eating and began speaking. “Donny and I have kept a few things from you these last two years. You've been going to school these last two years as Charlie Smith. But the School Administration has known your name was Charlie Mcfee. Donny had to do that in order to get your school records from Ames, Nebraska. And your Dad came out to see Donny two years ago to make sure you were all right and with people that would watch out for you. Donny thinks your Dad might be at graduation today.” “What? If Dad knew where I was, why didn't he grab me and drag me back home?” “Think about it. In two weeks you will turn eighteen. Was your Dad ready to risk another marriage just so he could discipline you for two years and then watch you leave and maybe lose another marriage? I think he made some tough decisions. I think he should be proud of the part he played with making you what you are today. People in real life aren't good or bad guys. Most of the time there is a little bad in the good guys and a little good in the bad guys. As you get older it is up to you...You decide what you can and what you can't live with in a person. I think you were expressing that choice when you ran away from home. And your Dad expressed himself when he had you stay here. You will always have your Dad to a certain extent. After all blood is thicker than water. After these past two years you'll always have Donny and me.” Charlie was thinking, 'Ya, Donny! Last winter Donny's wife became lifeless and thinner than she already was. Donny became concerned and took her to the doctor. After some tests the doc came back with his prognoses. Cancer! Two to four months, tops! Since her death, Tex and Donny have become thicker than thieves. Half the time it felt like they didn't want me around. Good thing there were school functions and school work that I could do in my room. And pick up Sylvia to keep me company.' Sylvia Redbear, what is that relationship? That's a question Charlie kept asking himself. She was valedictorian of their class, beating Charlie out by a measly one point. Tex thought the School Administration wanted it that way, thinking Sylvia would motivate other kids from the Res to excel and make the school proud. Nobody could say it's the white blood in her because she claimed she was one of the few that was pure Native American. Although, on the second breath she would say that part of her ancestry was the Chumash from California. She claimed some of her ancestors escaped and came over the Rockies in the first half of the 17th century from an undeclared war with the U.S and settlers. Tex said she looked Oriental. The two misfits were outcasts in their school and hung together. Charlie, because he didn't play sports and didn't have money like other ranchers' sons and Sylvia, because the other native kids would have nothing to do with her. Charlie only stood at 5'4, but he wouldn't back down from anybody. It happened slowly but Charlie had become Sylvia's bodyguard. He would pick her up at the native housing and they'd go to school. This spring Charlie had asked her to the prom and he'd taken her. As a joke, some kid had spiked the punch and Charlie had to drag Sylvia out of the gym early and take her home. The alcohol had lowered all of Sylvia's inhibitions and Sylvia went from an intelligent friend to a temptress and exhibitionist. By the end of the night Charlie knew for a certainty that he was no longer a virgin. When Monday came and Charlie tried to apologize, Sylvia told him, “Don't worry about it! Forget it. I'll be OK!” Charlie had replied, “OK, if that's how you want it.” Looking over at Sylvia in the car that day, Charlie had and did, wonder if he should have taken Sylvia's statement at face value. 'Oh well, today would probably be the last day he'd see her for a while.' Charlie shook his head from his mussing and asked, “What other surprises have you two got for me today?” “After you're done eating, we're going out and putting all the tools into my old chest that's in the barn. Donny's bringing some food out and we'll put the food on a folding table he's bringing. We'll see how many people come out here. They'll probably come just to see where you live. Think you can handle that?” “OK, whatever. Nobody is going to drive clear out here. After today it will all be history anyway! You know, you guys didn't have to do this. But, I really do appreciate all you've done for me.” By eleven in the morning, the barn was ready. Commencement was at one o'clock in the afternoon, so they spent the rest of the morning spiffing up. Tex had declared when they put the stool into the kitchen pantry that there wasn't enough room for a bathtub, so they had to use a galvanized tub that leaned against the hot water heater. Cleaning up took a little time with two men using the facilities that were available. Dinner was a couple of sandwiches and a bowl of tomatoes and then they jumped into Charlie's car and were on their way to White River and Commencement. Tex and Charlie arrived at the auditorium fifteen minutes early, but the place was already packed. Charlie went behind the stage to put on his cap and gown and Tex went to the front for his reserved seat. Ten minutes later the class of '64' walked in to take their places. The Commencement was like all Commencements taking place around the country until The Class Valedictorian took the podium to give her speech. Sylvia opened up her speech with, “Life is not fair! But the United States Constitution says, 'All men are created equal! Mm? We all have different shapes, or as doctors say, 'Phenotype' and 'Genotype' Is that fair? Women haven't reached equality in the job sector even though we now have the right to vote. Most people in the world have an inferiority complex and would not consider themselves equal. The Bible has a lot to say about our positions in life. One of the things it said is, 'We all have different talents that we need to use to contribute to our fellow man.' So! We are equal but different? Makes sense. If a man is not good under pressure and likes to work with his hands, he should find work in a trade.” “But it's also been said; 'a man is a product of his environment.' True! Can you overcome your environment? I think you can, if you wish it and work for it. If you need to take baby steps, take baby steps. But don't give in to despair and do nothing. Try! If life knocks you down, get up and try again. Don't wallow in drugs and alcohol. Fight for a good life and fight the good fight. Then and only then can you look into the eyes of any man and say; I, me, we, are your equal in the eyes of our Creator as well as in my eyes as a created being.” “Tomorrow is a new day. Yesterday is gone. Create an environment where you encourage your children. This summer, take them to the library. Read to them if they are too small and can't read for themselves. Do things as a family. As an example, build a sweat lodge together. Yesterday is gone, but tomorrow is a new day. Classmates, let us go out and make tomorrow a better place. Thank you.” Charles sat there in stunned silence as the people in the Auditorium rose to their feet. Sylvia had parroted what he had been feeling and expressing to her for the last two years. His thought was, 'Why.' Did she not realize that a lot of her neighbors would take exception at being told to 'Straighten up.' Her life could be in danger!' As his classmates started filing out he got up and went with them. Outside the Auditorium people started filing by and congratulating the class. Charlie saw his Dad coming down the line and thoughts ran through his mind. 'He looks old! He's not so big! He can't control me! I would not let him if he tried! He probably did the best he could!' He stepped out of the line to meet his Dad and gave him a hug. Richard gave his son a bear hug and exclaimed, “Congratulations son. It's hard to believe how well you did in school. You were a C student in Ames!” “Where's Elsie?” The thought that went through Charlie's mind was, 'Did Dad kick her out?' “She's at home. I came by myself. She's harboring a sore spot where you're concerned.” “What do you mean Dad? Do you still live with her and her girls?” “Ya, we're still together. But you'll have to ask Donny what I mean. OK.” The line of well wishers and classmates was breaking up when Sylvia came over to where Charlie and his Dad stood and said, “We're coming out to your ranch. Who's this Charlie?” “This is my Dad, Richard Mcfee. Dad, this is a good friend, Sylvia Redbear.” “Pleased to meet you.” Richard said, sticking out his hand. Charlie thought his Dad said that as a grimace passed over his face. He hoped Sylvia hadn't seen that. Sylvia looked at Charlie with a question on her face. “Mcfee?” “Let us talk about it when we are out at the ranch. OK!” Charlie was feeling, he'd like to have the day come to a close. He would have to explain to Sylvia about the Smith thing, and would rather do it later or not at all. A thought popped into Charlie's mind, “Do you know where I live Sylvia? I have my car and you can follow us if you like.” Richard responded, “I'd like to be shown the way.” “I'll stop on highway 44 heading west and wait for everyone. OK?” Charlie didn't know if, or, how many of his classmates knew where he lived. Or if he even cared. Tex and Charlie drove to the 44 turnoff, and Charlie got out of his big-old-pile-of-bolts and waited, leaning against the fender. He figured a fifteen minute wait would be long enough. Five minutes saw his Dad pull in behind him. Ten minutes later he saw another old car pull in with Sylvia getting out and coming over. “Miss Malone and Petzaul are coming too.” Another five minutes and another car pulled into the lineup. “Want to ride with me?” Charlie asked. “Sure.” Sylvia said as Charlie opened the driver door for her to get in. Once inside the car Sylvia said, “There are some things we need to talk about Charlie Mcfee Smith.” “We can talk about that on the way out. Tex knows all about that. You know I ran away from Dad two years ago? I didn't realize he knew where I was. His new wife had no time for me. In fact, I think she hates me. I thought I was hiding and I used the name Smith as an alias. I'm sure everyone at school is wondering who Charlie Mcfee is.” “What name are you going to use Charlie?” “Well, Mcfee is my legal name and my diploma is Mcfee, so I guess I should drop the Smith. I'm surprised your Mom and Dad wanted to come out for this get together.” “That is one of the things we need to talk about.” Charlie heard a, 'Oh Sh..it' from Tex as he swiveled his head to look at Sylvia and almost ran off the road. “Are you saying what I think you're saying?” Charlie didn't know what to think, what Sylvia was implying? “Yes, they want to know what the father of my little baby wants to do about being the father of my child?” “Has this anything to do with the speech you gave today?” Charlie was all at once connecting the dots and understood she was committing herself to him verbally as well as physically. “I agree with everything you've been telling me for the last two years. My people need to quit acting like downtrodden people and start working toward becoming proud of themselves.” Charlie could see she believed everything she was saying. Tex injected himself into the conversation, “You could get yourself killed by verbalizing those thoughts. Nobody likes to be told they could be doing better than they are. I'd hate to be you in a dark alley if some of these bucks around here were drunk when they met you walking. I would say, you need to always be in a safe place until they forget that speech. I already know about prom night. It was written all over Charlie's face the next day. Maybe we can work something out. Don't you have a scholarship to go to college?” “I'm not going! My place is here with Charlie.” “OK. After everyone leaves today, we'll talk some more.” Driving into Tex's place ended the conversation. Walking to the barn with everyone that followed Charlie out of town, his Dad was quick to try monopolizing his time. “You know son, your grandparents would love to see you again. Come for a visit. You might find a job in town, or if you would like to go to college in Lincoln. I could help you some if you need it. Maybe we could find you a job in Lincoln to start with.” “What would Elsie think about this?” Charlie saw a grimace pass over Richard's face and knew he wanted no part of getting into the middle of his Dad and Stepmother saga. Charlie half listened after that as Richard went on about the changes and neighbors in Ames. Sylvia had gotten tired of waiting for Charlie so she walked up and said, “I think my folks and I are going to go back to housing. Come and talk to me tomorrow. OK?” “Sure, I'll know more tomorrow when we talk. Tell your folks, thank you for coming. I'll talk to them tomorrow as well.” Charlie could see Richard was brimming with curiosity. When Sylvia and her folks were driving away Richard asked, “What's that all about?” “That young lady is carrying your grandchild!” Charlie thought he'd try to shock his Dad. “That child, as you so bluntly put it, would not be my grandchild. That would lead to nothing but heartache. I think you've been around these people too long. In fact, if you marry her, you can forget about coming home. Got that!” Charlie couldn't believe the man he had thought of as father was spouting this hate and anger that was coming out of every pore of his body. “Good bye Richard. Thank you for coming. Hope you run out of gas and have a breakdown as you're going through Mission. Tell Elsie I'm keeping her Tupperware. Charlie watched as Richard headed for his car. Tex came up behind Charlie and put a hand on Charlie's shoulder. “What's he miffed about?” Tex asked. “I just told him his grandchild is going to be native. But all he sees is color. Nice way of saying prejudice. Did the experience with my mother do that to him? You taught me that there was good and bad in everyone and every race. He's more bad than I want to handle.” “You just need to focus on your world and your future. Don't let him have an adverse effect on you. Donny wants to talk to you. Say goodbye to your teachers and we'll talk.” Tex sounded mysterious. Saying goodbye to Miss Malone and Mr Petzaul didn't take long since they were already on their way to the car they came in. The apology of not spending time talking to them and explaining why he had a last name of Mcfee was fast since they were heading for other classmates' parties. Walking out to the barn he took a seat and asked Donny what was up. Donny replied, “It probably was a shock today to learn your Dad knew for the last two years where you were living. What you don't know is that he was sending money each and every month to cover your living out here. All I ever took out of that money was the cost of your car, plus repairs. There's over fifteen hundred dollars setting in the bank at White River in your name. Now, you can take that money and go to college. That money would take you through the first year if you go to college in South Dakota. Or, Tex and I have some ideas, that you could get a Farm and Ranch youth loan and become a rancher. Old Manchein's place has been put on the market and they're wanting thirty dollars an acre. The big plus in buying that quarter is Sylvia is a native, and with you marrying her, all the native land surrounding that quarter can't be taken away from the two of you. There's over four thousand acres that will need to be stocked with cattle. You will need a loan of at least seventy thousand dollars. Tex will co-sign. Another requirement is, you have to hire me as a hand and give me lifelong rights to live on the place. Sound like a deal to you?” “Wow! My own ranch! Can we drive over there? I'd like to see it up close. Where do we have to go to apply for a loan? I have to go see Sylvia tomorrow. ..a.. Hold it! If I'm not twenty one, how am I going to get married if Dad won't sign for me? I'm not even going to ask him now!” Donny spoke up, with a twinkle in his eyes, “We don't have to ask your Dad. Your Father insisted I take on the task of being responsible for you when he came to see me two years ago. I'll sign for your marriage license, since I'm your guardian. That's one roadblock we don't have!” Donny was grinning from ear to ear. “Hey, that's another thing you've been keeping from me. The surprises today have been unbelievable. Well it looks like I'll be getting married. I hope like the good book says, 'she is to be my helpmate.' Donny spoke up with a look on his face that showed bafflement. “I haven't heard anything about love, affection or you can't live without her. Are you sure you want to get married?” “It's the right thing to do, to get married. You forgot about trust. I trust that Sylvia wants to live and grow with me, and strive for a better life for her children. Isn't love supposed to be working together for a common goal? Being honest and truthful with each other? We had three classes on relationships and marriage in psychology class my senior year. The consensus was that a romantic love and a committed marriage might not always be the same. A romantic love without responsibilities can be exhilarating, while a marriage full of responsibilities can be rewarding but not always thrilling. Those three days of hour classes helped me deal with my feelings about my Mother! Pleasure now or satisfaction later? Choices! “And here I thought you were numb and dumb. You have grown up more than I thought.” Apparently Donny was impressed. Tex injected his thoughts, “Let's wait until tomorrow and pick up Sylvia before going over to the Manchein place. We can all discuss what we're doing, plus corner Sylvia's folks about getting a marriage license. Charlie, in two weeks, you also have to go to the courthouse and sign up for the draft. Hopefully, being married will keep you out of the service.” “Sounds good!” Charlie replied. Chapter 3 Charlie slowly woke up as he realized light was coming in through the bedroom window. He looked over at the black hair that was framing the pillow next to him. He sighed and stretched, becoming fully awake. Glancing over at the alarm clock, he saw he had another ten minutes yet before it sounded off with its annoying noise. Charlie looked back at the last six months of his life and couldn't be happier. Charlie and Tex had gone to town and bought Manchein's place before anyone else could put their dibs on the place. Sylvia and Charlie had been married shortly after, with them moving into their new place still known as the Manchein place. The summer had been a busy one with buying a couple of pieces of used machinery and cutting hay as well as working with Production Credit for the loan needed to buy cattle. It wasn't until now, in the middle of December that the loan had finally come through. Earlier in the year Tex had paid the leases for the Tribal land and bought the cattle, stretching his credit to the maximum at the bank, with a mortgage on his land and his good name. By August they had two hundred head of cattle on the leased land. Sylvia Mcfee's name was on the lease as well as Charlie's. When Donny had decided to join the motley group, he moved from Wood to Cedar Butte. The Mechanic Shop had recently been closed and all that was left in the town was two houses and another building that housed a bar-grocery-post office. Alvin and Roy lived in one house and rented the other one out to someone they trusted. It was three miles away from Tex's place and the rent was cheap. Sylvia rolled over in bed and asked, “How many for breakfast this morning?” “All four of us. Donny is probably rolling this way as we speak. I'll stay in and help you. You look like you're about ready to pop.” It looked to Charlie that everything was swollen and puffy on Sylvia. “I feel like I'm ready to explode. The Doctor says I have a whole month yet. It feels like twins!” Sylvia was feeling very uncomfortable. “Probably just a big boy. For your sake I hope it's not cesarean. Charlie was thankful that the native population had Federal Health. This year has been all about stretching the dollar. The Banker in town had drawn up a budget to follow, and gave him a guideline to help him realize how much he could pay on his Production Loan. Between the Banker and Tex, he received advice and information on demand. Charlie was more than grateful that he wasn't in this by himself. The winter had been without snow and the cows were in a section of land that hadn't been grazed all summer. With fifteen acres per cow, the stocking rate was fifty cows short, plus no cows had been on the land for half of the growing season. Tex and Charlie had bought cows with calves at sale barns and bred heifers and yearling heifers at ranches around the area. Tex had even sold fifty cows with calves to Charlie. Said he was overstock and needed to take some of the pressure off his pastures. Tex stressed that the cows that were grazing on dry grass, needed an added protein source. So Charlie had bought and set protein blocks out for the cows as well as salt blocks and mineral blocks. What Charlie wondered about, when he saw the feed bills, was, 'What did the cows do when they ran wild?' “Honey!” Sylvia was calling from the kitchen. Charlie grabbed some clean clothes out of a couple of drawers and threw them on, and headed for the kitchen. “Can you fry the hash browns? I'll keep the eggs and toast going. Charlie, what would you think about commodities from the village? Mom says she can get all the powdered milk and dried eggs we would want.” “That offer sounds interesting. Have her do that and we'll try to use what we can.” Charlie had to stop what he had been doing for a moment, just to give Sylvia a hug. She had been such a trooper all summer trying to fit in. Weeding the garden and bringing lunches out to the hay fields for the guys, while painting the old Manchein house. Charlie felt he not only admired her, but he also loved her. “Let me go Charlie. I hear a pickup driving in.” Despite the scolding she had a smile on her face. Sylvia was happy and hoped nothing would change how Charlie felt. A shadow passed over her face, thinking about what had happened before they got married. After Tex and Donny sat down at the breakfast table and the meal was over, the planning for the day began. Tex started the discussion by saying, “I've got a couple of Semi trucks pulling bull racks coming to pick up the calves on Friday afternoon. The calves are consigned for Saturday at the Presho sale barn.” “I'd like to keep back about twenty heifers to enlarge my herd. But I also need to buy a few bulls this coming spring.” Charlie spoke up in the conversation. “If you're worried about money, I've got about five, coming two year bulls, you can use. You know, the bulls that we raised. They're Herefords, but they'd work good on your crossed up cows.” When Tex finished speaking, Charlie shook his head and thought, 'How long has he been plotting this and planning this?' “Thanks Tex. They'll work great, except for my yearlings. I'll need a good little Angus Bull for them.” “In the spring, let's go over to Carter, South Dakota for him. I heard there's an Angus Breeder over there.” This was the way it was for those three. One man, having missed out on having a family, one man, wanting the best for a young man and their future and one young man, appreciating the chance to be something he wanted to be, in the future, and loving the present. Like well oiled parts to a machine, running smooth without any effort, going down the path they found themselves in. Tex, Donny and Charlie looked at each other and thought, 'Life doesn't get any better than this!' “Charlie! Sylvia was calling. Come here! My water broke.” “Woo! Coming Sylvia. Is it coming early? Have you got a bag packed? Should we leave right away? It's thirty miles to the Rosebud Hospital.” Charlie was a little flustered. Donny yelled, “Take my pickup. It's full of gas and safer than your old car.” “Thanks Donny, I'll do that.” as Donny threw Charlie the keys. After assisting Sylvia into the pickup with her bag they were on their way. Rosebud had a Government Hospital that all the natives on the Reservation and surrounding areas went to. It was free health care and did not hurt Charlie's feelings if Sylvia used the privilege due to being an American Native. Being thirty miles away was the only concern. Halfway there, Charlie stated, “That last contraction was about five minutes apart.” “Don't worry Charlie. This baby could be another six or seven hours yet before it makes his appearance. Quit looking at your watch and watch the road.” When they got to the hospital, Charlie dropped Sylvia off at the front entrance and parked the pickup. Running into the hospital, Charlie ran to the nurses desk and asked what room Sylvia was in. “She is in room 23 down that corridor.” the nurse informed him. Room 23 was the second door to the left. Charlie was almost there when he saw the Doctor was coming out. “Is everything OK with Sylvia? Is the baby going to be alright with being a whole month early?” All at once, Charlie felt like he was rambling. “They're both fine. And what do you mean, a month early. That baby in there, I would say, is an overdue baby.” The Doctor saw Charlie almost shrivel right before his eyes. “Come with me young man. Let's go into my office. Sit down. OK my good man, I've seen this before. Women are devious and native women even more so because they have more to lose. You're thinking you never touched this young girl till eight months ago. Am I right?” “Ya.” “Well I won't let you go in there before the baby's born, and I'd rather not have you go in there without ammunition, so,.. How about if I take some blood from you and take it to the lab for you. We have Sylvia's blood type here in the Hospital and we'll have the little one's blood as quick as it's born. Then I'll tell you what your chances of being the father are. OK!” “Thank you Doc. I sure appreciate this. Why are you helping me?” “Maybe because I've been in your shoes? Maybe because you need to know before they come around with the birth certificate? Don't do anything or sign anything, until you know what you want to do! OK.” Sylvia was in between contractions when she heard the Doctor talk to Charlie about an overdue baby. She closed her eyes and screamed. The gig was up and the pain was unbearable. She knew when her Mom talked her into keeping Charlie in the dark that this day would someday come. Looking back to that Friday night over nine months ago she shuddered, felt another contraction coming again, and screamed through her tears. She clamped her muscles together and screamed again in frustration. She had done everything she could think of to make Charlie proud of her and now it was __ OVER!? Sylvia clamped her muscles together again and screamed once more. She heard a nurse come in, “What's wrong Sylvia?” “Everything! Get me Charlie. Please!” “Settle down young lady. Right now you have a baby to deliver. I'll get the Doctor.” And out the door the nurse went. Ten minutes later the Doctor came in. “Let us check your dilation.” he stated, trying to appear calm and obtuse. The Doc put his gloves on and lifted Sylvia's gown. Sylvia gave another curdling scream and squeezed down. The Doctor took one look and said, “We have a baby coming. Come, I'll walk you to the delivery room.” Sylvia followed his orders like a zombie, with tears running down her face. When they entered the delivery room, there was a nurse in the room to help the Doctor with putting Sylvia into the stirrups. Sylvia screamed while chanting. “Get it out, get it out. I don't want it.” “Calm down Sylvia. If you keep this up you will hurt the baby.” The nurse was wondering when he would ask for a sedative for Sylvia. “OK Sylvia, push down. Let me slip this under the baby's head. OK, I can help you now. Give me another push. PUSH! We got it. Wow! Look at that fat baby. It's a boy.” Whispering to the nurse, he said, “We need a cc of blood from this little tyke as well while you're cleaning him up. The lab knows what to do with it.” Turning to Sylvia he said, “Now Ms. Mcfee, we need to clean your womb before you are done so we can bring the baby to you.” “No, I don't want to see it. Don't let it come near me or I'll kill it. It's a rapist's baby. It's not me or mine! I need Charlie! Where's my Charlie?” She knew and she was feeling that the only way Charlie would forgive her was if she could convince Charlie that she was completely innocent and had no control over the circumstances. “Let me get you a sedative, Sylvia. I'll look in the waiting room and see if he's there.” And to himself he muttered, 'Your meal ticket might have left.' The Doctor was a young man that had his medical schooling paid for by signing five years of his life to this hospital. The last three years of being a resident here had changed him, and not for the better. He had seen too many drunken escapades and the results of promiscuous behavior during drunkenness. As far as he was concerned, Charlie was another dumb white boy that got involved in a rodeo he wasn't ready for. He was surprised when he found Charlie, still, in the waiting room. “You have a wife in room 23. The birth came a lot quicker than we had expected and quite traumatic. She must have heard us talking in the hallway and realized you knew she had been keeping some things from you. The baby is a healthy boy. We are still doing lab work on him and I should be able to talk to you about that later after I get the results and do some comparisons. I'd say talk to her now and assume the child is not yours. I'll get back to you after I get the lab results.” With a sigh Charlie looked down the hallway and got to his feet. Like it or not, this was something that had to get done. He walked down the hallway and knocked on the door. Pushing it open he walked in and shut the door. Charlie walked over the hospital bed, but didn't say a thing. The two were doing nothing but looking at each other. Finally Sylvia started speaking, “This past March my cousin came over one Friday night when my folks were gone. He badgered me until I had a beer with him. It tasted terrible! My cousin called a friend to come over and bring some orange juice with him. It was spiked, and dumb me didn't know that. All I remember is, there were several boys on top of me and then Mom was home and the boys were gone. I didn't mean to trick you and I wanted my baby to be yours. But I knew I had missed my period before the prom and I tried to make you love me so it wouldn't matter. But it does matter, doesn't it!” “It does matter because I don't know how much I can believe. Without honesty there is no trust. Is this the truth or are you lying by omission? When they bring the birth certificate around you better not put my name down as the father. You can put unknown for all I care. I'm going home to talk to Tex. We'll talk later.” “Don't, don't, please! I love you! Don't leave me. Let me make this up to you. I'll do anything you want me to.” Sylvia was expressing what she was fearing and dreading. Her world was falling into an abyss with no way to stop the fall. “I've got to leave!” Charlie ran to the door, like he couldn't get out fast enough. Heading north all Charlie could think about was, 'What are you going to do Charlie? What do you want to do? What can you do?' Coming into White River Charlie thought, 'The heck with this, I'm having a beer!' Pulling up to the bar on main street he went inside and bellied up to the bar. “Give me a tap beer and can I use the phone?” “As long as it's local, go ahead. You're Charlie Smith, right?” Like all small town barkeeps, he thought it was his duty to know everything that took place in the area. “Charlie Mcfee!” “Ya,right. I wondered if that was a rumor or a fact. Good to know. My name's Jerry” “Glad to meet you.” Charlie stated as he walked behind the bar to the landline phone. After two longs and a short and one more long ringtones, Tex answered. “This is Tex. Who's speaking?” “This is Charlie. Would you like to come to the bar in White River? I have some decisions to make and I might need your input. Don't worry, I'm legal with my 3.2 beer.” “I'll be right there.” Tex could have told Charlie that a can of beer cost thirty cents in a liquor store instead of seventy five cents to a dollar in a bar. But if Charlie was at a bar and drinking beer, that Charlie didn't even like, something was wrong. Swinging around to Donny's place for reinforcements seemed the way to go. By the time Tex walked into the bar with Donny, Charlie was on his fourth beer and singing 'Crazy' by Patsy Cline alongside the jut-box. Charlie heard the front door of the bar open and close, turned and walked up to the two and said, “It's not my kid! She's been lying for the last eight months. She's a liar, and a cheat, and I want to get as far away from her as I can. If I stay I'll become her pansy, like I was before.” “Hold it Charlie. Running away doesn't always solve your problems. Someday you have to face everything you ran away from. We've got other problems to think about. At the moment if you sold your cattle you would have nothing left. Sylvia is on the leases and loans as well as you. You can't be making waves and leaving us in the lurch. But I've been thinking of a contingency plan if you were to be drafted. Donny and I could be holding the place together with a little help. Why don't you enlist and get some experience under your belt. Act like you forgive Sylvia and we'll watch her and make sure she is towing the line. In a couple of years you'll know if you can trust her. I think you both need to grow up more and a separation will do you both good. Don't burn your bridges until you are out of the service. Then you will have a much clearer head to decide where you want your life to be.” Charlie looked at Tex and thought, 'This is the longest speech I've ever heard Tex make. He's right though. I can leave and won't have to decide anything. Put on a front. They can deal with Sylvia.' Turning to Donny, he asked, “What do you think Donny? If I run, I'm leaving you guys in the lurch. If I stay, I'll be demanding Sylvia go back to her folk's and you and me would have to start over from scratch. Put your two cents in if you would.” “Nothing says that you can't get drafted at any time. You could get drafted a year from now and we'd be in the same boat. Since Sylvia didn't have your input when she got pregnant, it is only fair that she has to accept whatever you decide. I know there's a recruiting office above the bank on main street. Go sign up tomorrow before we go see Sylvia and give her the news. By then she should know what she wants to do with the kid.” “Thanks Donny, Thanks you two. I'm going to do just that. Tomorrow morning I'm signing up and leaving for a while. Can't wait! Let's go home. They're going to kick us out if we don't leave soon. It's darn near one. Good night Jerry.” Charlie thought to himself, 'Jerry's heard enough, that the whole town will know, Charlie Mcfee's been made a fool of! O well, I guess I shouldn't care.' Charlie wasn't used to late nights or alcohol, so it was nine o'clock before Donny walked into his bedroom and woke him up. “Rise and shine sleepyhead. We're going over to Tex's place for breakfast so get dressed. Tex is waiting for us. Chores are done!” “Thanks Donny. Two mornings in a row, you've done my chores.” “After you leave, they'll probably be my chores. But that's all right. It gives me something to do. By the way, don't think you'll be leaving tomorrow. Government don't work that way.” Charlie had to think on that for a minute. “If I have to stick around for a month or two, I guess I'll have to act normal. I'll do it. Thanks Donny!” “Just don't get a swollen tongue from biting on it too hard. It will all work out in the end.” Breakfast was quick and then all three piled into Charlie's car and headed for town. The Army Recruiter was in his office so Charlie sat at his desk. The Army Recruiter stuck out his hand and said, “If you're coming to join up I'd like to get to know a little about you and what your preferences are. We can give recommendations for what you will want to do in the service, but you will have a lot more tests before you receive your MOS. That's the abbreviation for Military Occupational Specialty. We can sign you up today for three, four or six year stints in the service. The longer you sign up for the more schooling you will receive. It will be schooling in what you are good at, not in what you might prefer. Although today you have a voice in your preference. With a three year enlistment you can have two schooling. With a four year enlistment, you can have three schools you can go to. With a six year enlistment you can become an Army Officer or a specialty officer, called a Warrant Officer. Have you ever thought of being a paratrooper? Jumping out of a plane? You've never really lived until you float out of the sky on a parachute.” “That's a three year enlistment? That sounds like what I want to do.” The recruiter was good. Charlie had excitement written all over him. Tex looked at Donny and shook his head. Tex knew what the army was all about. He never had forgotten serving in the First World War. If there was a war when Charlie was in, and if Charlie was a paratrooper, he'd be in the thick of things. No doubt about it! “Sign right here young man. We will let you know when we need you to come in and get your physical. Should be within the month.” The recruiter saw another young man walk in as he was dismissing Charlie and asked. “Hello young man, can I help you? Driving down to the Rosebud Hospital, Charlie was quiet. He had to break the news to Sylvia about joining the service and didn't know quite how to say it. Once in the hospital and in Sylvia's room, joining the army was second fiddle, while Sylvia was talking a blue streak, “Social services were here this morning and I'm giving up my parental rights. In two days they are letting me out of here and I'm coming home. We'll act like this never happened and we'll be back to where we were. My life is nothing without you in it. I knew you'd understand. The father is unknown so you don't have to do anything. Go sell your calves and come get me Friday afternoon when the calves are at the sale barn. OK? I lied to you once. I'll never lie again. Now hold me a minute before you have to go. I love you and don't you ever forget it. Take care of my Charlie, guys and don't let him get hurt. I'll see you in two days” Walking out of the hospital, Donny spoke up, “I don't think she wanted to hear what you had to say Charlie. She dictated that conversation and visit. Every time you tried to break in, she would just talk faster. I guess when you're gone, we'll tell her what she'll need to know. Then she can choose to be a widow lady or a young divorced woman. Sorry young man. We'll let the chips fall where they may.” The next two day gave Charlie plenty of time to plot out his exit. He would put Tex on his checking account and convince Donny to move upstairs at the Manchein house with Sylvia downstairs. He would maybe have the barkeep, Jerry and Donny share information in case Sylvia started spending time in town. Maybe it wouldn't matter in a while, but for now Charlie halfway believed Sylvia was trying. That was something! And the reassurance, or just being vindicated was important to Charlie. By two in the afternoon on Friday, Tex and Charlie's calves were loaded on trucks and heading for Presho. Charlie headed home and cleaned up and grabbed a bit to eat before walking out of the house to head for Rosebud. On the way to Sylvia's room, Charlie stopped at the Doc's office and knocked. “Anything I should know before I take Sylvia home?” “I'm sorry to say that matching Sylvia and your blood types up to the baby's was not conclusive. I don't believe the time frame you gave me, and the baby's full term appearance would make the baby yours, but that is my opinion. I don't know what to think of that wife of yours. She vehemently refused to look at the baby, and signed away all parental rights. So we gave her a shot to dry up her milk. The child is in social services already and since the father is unknown, Sylvia can and did request the child be given to any family, white as well as native.” “Thanks Doc. I appreciate all you've done. Just so you know, I decided to join the service and put this all behind me.” Charlie went to Sylvia's room where she was waiting. Sylvia was a fountain of chatter, but nothing was said about the baby. Charlie let Sylvia rattle on, wondering when she would run out of subjects to talk on. Arriving at the Manchein place, (Charlie couldn't think of it as home) Sylvia stated she was making supper and went to the kitchen. After supper Sylvia cleaned up the leftovers and washed dishes. Sylvia didn't ask for help and Charlie didn't offer. At nine o'clock, Charlie walked into the kitchen and told Sylvia, “I'm going to bed.” And walked out of the kitchen, and went upstairs to one of the two bedrooms, shed his clothes and crawled into bed in the buff. Ten minutes later, Sylvia opened the door and looked inside. Ten minutes after that Sylvia appeared again and went to the side opposite from where Charlie laid and lifted the covers to get in. “You're not welcome here. Leave!” “I'm your wife. By your side is where I belong.” “With no secrets between us. Is there something you haven't told me yet? Can I believe you will always tell me everything?” “I won't ever lie to you again! Not even by omission! Is that what you need to hear?” “It is! But it's nine months too late.” “It's never too late to start over! Unless you're dead.” “I've joined the Army. I'll be gone for three years. Think you can wait for me for three years to start over?” “You did WHAT?!” …...... After a few minutes, Sylvia said in a quiet voice, “I'll wait for you Charlie. I'll be here, waiting. Now come downstairs and come to bed with me. It's cold up here!” “Yes Sylvia.” And Charlie thought, 'That went well. Not!' Chapter 4 “Get your soft, pampered asses out of bed. Rise and shine boys or I'll throw you out of those bunks. After you're out of those bunks, I want to see them made tight, so I can bounce a quarter on them. I want to see you lined up outside this barracks by six hundred hours and be ready for chow!” “Yes, Drill Sergeant!” Forty men answered him. Charlie jumped out of bed, grabbed a towel and shaving gear and ran to the showers, trying to beat the mad scramble. By the time he had the three S's done with, (shit, shower and shave) the latrine was so fogged over with steam, you could barely see across the room. His towel went in the laundry tote and shaving gear was put away. Charlie made the bed and clean fatigues were donned. He knew what squad he belonged to and about where he was in the lineup, so he was in his spot in front of the barracks with fifteen minutes to spare. He positioned himself at field rest and waited with the Drill Sergeant along with a few other recruits. Thinking back over the last five months since Sylvia had that baby was emotional to say the least. Donny had been right! It had been three months and two weeks from the time of signing up, until he was shipped off to boot camp. Charlie still had not decided yet if he should be thankful or miffed, dealing with Sylvia all those months. Sylvia had done everything she could for him, including making him love her. Sylvia had demonstrated time and again that she was a force to be reckoned with. Charlie after a while, had to grudgingly admire her and came to the conclusion that she was committed to living and working with him. Charlie thought about the one particular letter, about a month ago, he got from Sylvia, “I'm writing to tell you, I'm going to have a baby that is yours. I am one hundred percent positive that it is yours, just like I am one hundred percent positive that it's been only you since we have been married.” Wow! Could she be lying? Charlie didn't think she was lying, and was happy he thought that way. Yesterday, Charlie and Company had received their orders. In another week Charlie was going to Airborne Schooling and then on to Language School. Charlie had taken French in high school, so they had given him a test to see how much French he knew. Instead of a one year course, the Army felt six months would be plenty for him with his background in French. After Airborne School he would join a class that had been learning French for six months. Charlie didn't know what to think about the Army teaching French to him. French Consulate? Africa? Belgium? Charlie was grasping at straws and the Army was no help. Their policy was, information given as needed only. The Drill Sergeant was surprised they had let Charlie know a month in advance that he was slated for Foreign Language School. Taking basic training had been a snap for Charlie, due to knowing how to respond to orders and being in good physical shape. The one thing he had trouble with was changing hands for firing the rifle. The Drill Sergeant insisted he switch arms to use his good eye. He still tested out as a marksman, losing out as a sharpshooter by only three points. Taking basic training in Ft. Sill, Oklahoma was rewarding as well as frustrating because this was the area where he lost his Mother. Cricket was an unusual name, but there were no Cricket Mcfee's in the surrounding area's phone books. After dialing a few Cricket Whoever's, and getting some rude responses, Charlie gave up on that approach. He had written requests, asking for weekend passes and had received two. The two weekends were spent canvassing the area towns, walking from store to store asking if anyone knew a Cricket that was thirty five to forty years of age. Charlie felt bad, because he couldn't even say how tall she was, nor the color of her hair or eyes. Charlie had a two day window after Basic Training Graduation to report to Ft. Benning, Georgia. After being released from Ft. Sill, he spent the first day walking the streets of Duncan, Oklahoma, searching and talking to people about a mother named Cricket. As it started to get dark Charlie looked for a hotel in which to spend the night. Walking into a Ma and Pa Hotel and up to the desk in the lobby he asked, “How much would a room cost for the night for only one?” “Eighteen dollars a night, plus tax. Give me your name and identification, soldier.” “Cricket!” Charlie couldn't believe it. He would recognize that voice anywhere. “Yes? And how do you know me young man?” Cricket looked more like fifty, instead of forty. Her hair hung limp and drab like it had received no attention for several days. Her dress was faded and shapeless and it hung on her thin body like it had seen its last days and then had been recycled. “I'm Charlie! You're my Mother!” In Charlie's eyes, she had shrunk two feet over the last ten years. If it hadn't been for the voice he would not have recognized her. She looked like she had suffered deeply for her sins. “Sh, Frank might come back anytime. He can't find out who you are. Let's go outside and talk.” There was no one else in the entry, and Cricket almost drug Charlie outside. Once outside Cricket spewed information, like she couldn't wait to get it off her chest. “Oh Charlie, I'm so sorry. Frank was so handsome and attentive and kind and attractive, and then he changed after, after..... I had no other place to go. Richard and you had disappeared and I had no money of my own. Frank made me get jobs but then he demanded the money I made so I had no choice but to do what he said. After your sister, Jenny, was born, he found this hotel to manage. I could clean rooms and take care of Jenny at the same time. Except I take care of the desk and clean rooms. I sleep in the room behind the desk with the door open and in my dress so I can wait on customers when they ring the bell. Now I don't know when he comes home from the bar and I never see him until noon the next day. He is nothing but a womanizing drunk and I've been wishing for ten years that I had never laid eyes on him. I'm so sorry Charlie! I was such a fool and you ended up suffering for it as well as me. Can you forgive me?” “Of course I can forgive you. You say I have a sister, named Jenny? How old is she?” “Jenny Lou Mcfee is eight. I never married Frank and when I filled out the birth certificate, I wrote down, father- unknown. By then I didn't want Frank to be anyone's father. Where have you been? Can you help me get away from him? Please!” “OK, I'll help you get away! You put some clothes together and wake up Jenny. I'm going to the corner phone booth and calling a cab. I'll be waiting by the phone booth for you and Jenny. We're going to Lawton for the night, and tomorrow you two are flying to South Dakota. Is that alright?” “The farther away the better! I'll run and get Jenny and a bag. Don't leave!” Cricket was beside herself with fears and anxieties. She was up in a flash and running into the hotel. Charlie walked the half block to the phone booth and called a cab. The cab had just pulled up when Cricket came running toward them, pulling a sleepy girl behind her. Cricket couldn't relax until they were on the highway leaving Duncan. Jenny had been silent until then. “Who are you? Jenny exclaimed. Are you my brother, Charlie?” “Yes, I am. How do you know who I am?” It amazed Charlie that she would know who he was. “Mom-ma talks about you all the time, wondering where you were. Are you taking us away from Frank? He's not a nice man.” Charlie couldn't help but smile. With blue eyes, black hair and deep dimples in her cheeks, she couldn't have been any cuter. “Yes I am. Frank doesn't deserve you guys. How would you like to fly on a plane? Lawton has a big airport that can fly people all over the world. Where would you like to go?” Charlie was hoping he'd give Jenny something to think about. “Where do you live Charlie? Can we live with you? Jenny smiled at Charlie and batted her eyes like she was twenty, trying to be coy. “This is my Army Uniform I'm wearing. That means that for the next three years the Army decides where I go and where I live. But you can live with my wife if you want to. She would love to have you two.” After thinking for a moment, Charlie turned to Cricket. “Were you able to bring any money with you? I don't have all that much cash on me and plane tickets will be more than I have on me.” “I cleaned out the cash register. But that was less than a hundred dollars. What are we going to do?” Charlie couldn't answer that, but he thought a hundred might work. At the moment he wanted to make Frank pay back for his sins and his responsibilities. 'long overdue' he thought. “That should cover airfare for two. Don't worry.” Charlie's goal at the moment was to get Cricket and Jenny into a hotel for the night. Charlie taped the cabby on the shoulder and said, “We need a hotel close to the airport. Take us there please!” They were dropped off close to the airport in Lawton and Charlie got a room with two full sized beds. By six o'clock the next morning Charlie was at the counter in the lobby of the airport, finding out the cost of two tickets to Rapid City South Dakota with a stop over by the way of Denver Colorado. The tickets were forty eight dollars apiece, with a departure time of ten o'clock that morning. Charlie had the money that Cricket had given him, so he paid for the tickets. Going back to the room with the tickets, Charlie gave them to Cricket and told her they had to be at the departure gate at nine thirty. Then he went to the lobby of the hotel to ask for quarters to make a phone call to Sylvia. “Sylvia, are you OK? I was going to call you yesterday but I got sidetracked with some things that happened. I found my Mom! And I have a sister, named Jenny. She's eight years old. I'm sending them to you in South Dakota. They have to get away from Frank. He's a dominating, womanizing, drunk that has been living off of Cricket all these years. Cricket and Jenny will be flying into Rapid City and arriving at seven o'clock tonight. Can you and Donny pick them up tonight and bring them back to White River. Thank you guys. I didn't know what else to do. I'm running out of quarters so I've got to hang up. I love you. Bye, Bye. I'll be home after six months of French. Love you!” After getting off the phone, Charlie had a thought, 'I never even asked her how she was. Dumb, dumb!' Going back up to the hotel room, Charlie asked, “Is everybody getting ready to fly? I have my wife, Sylvia and my friend, Donny driving to Rapid City to pick you up at the airport in Rapid. I should describe them to you. Sylvia is five foot with black hair and black eyes and looks oriental. Donny Cousins is about fifty with brown hair that's thinning on top and has brown eyes. Let's go find a cafe around here and get something to eat, and then we'd better check in and get the boarding passes for you guys.” They found a cafe down the street called Shorty's that had a breakfast special. Charlie cautioned Cricket and Jenny not to eat too much since they would be fed on the plane. However that didn't stop Cricket and Jenny from cleaning their plates. It was nine by the time they checked into the airport with what little luggage they had. They spent the rest of their time at the boarding gate, talking and trying to catch up with all the things they didn't know about each other. When nine thirty came Charlie stood and watched them board the plane and watched them fly away. He went back to the hotel and asked for another day since his ticket for Ft. Benning Georgia was military standby and could be used tomorrow. Then he went up to his room and took a nap. That night after dark Charlie dressed in old civilian clothes and walked ten blocks before finding a corner phone booth and called a cab. Arriving in downtown Duncan, Charlie asked to be dropped off at a bar. He then walked six blocks to the hotel where he had found Cricket. The front door was locked and the flashing sign on the hotel's billboard said, 'No Vacancy'. He walked around to the back and found a door unlocked. He opened the door enough to slip in un-noticed if he wanted. It was dark inside with no noise except a quiet snoring. Charlie slipped in the room and waited for his eyes to adjust to the dark. Eventually he could see he was in the living room of the manager's apartment. He followed the snoring out of the living room and down the hall and into a bedroom. He could see by the light coming in through the window that Frank was in bed and his clothes were by the bed. Walking as quietly as he could, he walked to the pants that were on the floor and walked out the door with them and out of the apartment. Charlie slipped the billfold out of the pants and walked to a street light. Looking into the wallet, he could see two-twenties and three-ones. Pursing his lips together Charlie thought for a minute. He put the money into his wallet and walked back to the back door of the apartment and started pounding on the door. “Hey, anyone here? I need a room. You can't be full yet! Come on and open up.” Charlie wondered how long it would take before Frank would come to the door. “We're closed! Go away!” Frank did not sound like he was in a good mood. “Where in the blanket y blank, blank are my pants?” Frank finally stumbled to the door in his t-shirt and skivvies. “We're closed until further notice!” At that moment Frank got hit with a fist to his throat. Charlie had missed. He had not taken in the difference in size between the two men. Charlie was a short five feet four inches while Frank was six foot two inches tall. Frank went down like a deflated balloon. Charlie kicked him between the legs and didn't look back. Charlie didn't know it but the kick was pointless. Frank was dying from a collapsed esophagus. Charlie could have saved Frank, but Charlie didn't know that, and so was saved the trauma of deciding if he should, and the trauma of having killed a man, this being his first of many. Charlie walked on down town and slipped into a bar and ordered a beer. By twelve o'clock that evening Charlie had the barkeep call a cab. He headed back to Lawton and went to bed. The next morning Charlie was up by eight o'clock. By nine o'clock Charlie was dressed in his military uniform after his three S's plus using a payphone at the airport to call home and check if Cricket and Jenny had made it there safely. Shortly thereafter he was in the air, flying for Columbus, Georgia. By three in the afternoon he was in a cab, taking him the ten miles to Fort Benning and parachuting school. Check in deadline was eighteen hundred hours, military time, so Charlie was not worried in the least. The three weeks flew by. The first week was classes, learning how to land on the ground and learning about the parachutes that the Army used. The second week was learning to hang in the harness under the towers and directing the parachutes toward the area, where a paratrooper wanted to land. The third week consisted of five jumps out of planes. One jump was carrying no gear, three jumps were carrying full combat gear, and the last was jumping at night. After overcoming his anxiety after his first jump, Charlie loved it. Parachuting felt like freedom to be floating in the air above everything. During their Graduation Ceremony the group was presented with their Paratrooper pins and a second stripe, becoming a Private First Class, unless they already had the stripe. The next day they were all shipped out to the airport for their next station. Most of the men were heading for Advanced Infantry Training. Charlie was heading to Presidio of Monterey, California for linguistics with a military standby ticket; for any plane going that way. He had only three days to get there. Arriving a day later at San Francisco International Airport, Charlie took a bus to Monterey. From the bus station, he took a transit bus to Presidio. Walking into the welcome center he stopped in front of the desk of a Second Lieutenant and saluted. “Private First Class Charlie Mcfee reporting for duty Sir!” Standing and returning the salute the lieutenant said, “At ease, private. We have a colonel anxiously waiting to meet you. He's down that hall. It's the third door to your right. Room 112. Knock before you go in.” Charlie gave another salute and said, “Thank you Sir.” “You're welcome, private.” Going down the hall, Charlie stopped at 112 and knocked even though the door was open. A colonel was rising from his desk as Charlie knocked. “Private First Class Charlie Mcfee reporting for duty Sir!” “At ease, private. I'm Colonel John MacFaden. My specialty is Logistics in the Sixth Army . I'm in direct communication with Intelligence, dealing with the Vietnam Conflict. Have a seat. I've been searching for a good match to an operative we are developing to turn Vietnam into a South Vietnam Victory. Have you heard about the Montagnard people of the hill country of Vietnam?” “A little, no not really!” Charlie's thought was, 'Oh no, what have I gotten myself into!' “The Montagnard hill people have their own language and culture, separate from the rest of Vietnam. The French and Vietnamese people call them children, which is a slap in the face to these proud people who take pride in being independent. In fact the French were never able to subdue these people. The North Vietnam Communist have their Ho Chi Minh trail running right through Laos and Cambodia, fingering into the Montagnards territory. Now the Vietcong, (Communists of South Vietnam) and the NVA (North Vietnamese Army) have intimidated the Montagnard to the point that the Montagnard are ignoring everyone who goes up and down the Ho Chi Minh trail. We need to stop that traffic. That's where our operative comes into play. We have a person that knows three languages, French, Montagnard and Vietnamese. We found her on the streets of Saigon, half starved. She's half French and half Montagnard. She would like to escape Vietnam and come to America. That is the carrot we're offering. Three years in the service and she will become an American Citizen. Now your name came to my attention when you took tests in basic training. Your knowledge of French with your intelligence puts you in the top tier for eligible candidates. Then, we looked into your background and saw you are from the Midwest. Not only that, but you are also married to an American Native. That told me that you are not prejudiced against other races. Now if we send you into Vietnam to work with the Montagnard, you have to treat them like equals to gain their trust. Can you do that?” “I could do that with a lot more training. I do believe you are not telling me the dangers I'll be facing and are white washing the information I will need to complete the task you are putting before me. I've been introduced to the principles of recon activities and gorilla warfare. How much of this will I be doing?” Charlie had heard about combat pay and some of the other perks Vietnam offered. He wondered how much the Colonel was authorized to offer. “You will be trained in gorilla warfare to the point of training villages in small arms, including the M-14. It has been decided that the M-16 is a weapon that is too sensitive for dirty conditions. The M-16 was approved last year for jungle warfare, but I'm sure you were trained with the M-14. Your size and height was also a deciding factor in selecting you for this mission. The Montagnard people are small like you and that should make you less intimidating. If you take this mission on, I have been authorized to give you the rank of First Lieutenant and double the combat pay. But there's a stipulation that we ask of you. We are asking for two years in Vietnam. After Linguistics Classes we will send you to jungle warfare school that will include extended hand to hand combat training. Of your three year stint in this man's army, the first year will be about training. The next two years will be about working with and training the Montagnard people to fight the Vietcong. Any questions?” “Yes, after this French Language School, how much vacation time can I get and will you authorize the time off.” Charlie was fearing he had gotten into some deep do-do and he'd better take all the time-off that he could. “Let me check on when your next school is supposed to start and if we can hold off till the next class time. You are here for the next six months with French. Give me a month to get back to you with a plan. OK?” “OK. Right now I am tentatively accepting your offer for First Lieutenant if it would start immediately. Is that acceptable?” Charlie wondered how far he could negotiate. He had never heard of the Government negotiating anything like this before. “It is, if you are willing to sign up for a Martial Arts Club at Fort Ord. We will provide transportation. It's a two hour evening session, three times a week. Does that sound fair? “More than fair. I'm sure the Martial Arts Club will serve me well in what I will be facing. Thank you.” “Very good. Our operative is called Thi Bian. The Montagnard people only have one name, with many bearing the same name. Thi is the Rade name she bares while Bian is a Vietnamese name that means secretive. She needed a second name to become an American citizen. I think we named her well. Ede or Rade is a group of people that her mother belonged to. I thought you should know this before I introduce you to her. For the next six months, I want you to learn to speak Ede from Thi, which is the language of the tribe of people she belongs to. Now I need you to report back to the Lieutenant to fill out the paperwork for your promotion and he'll also take you to his barracks for your billet. Dismissed!” The Colonel rose and gave Charlie a salute. Charlie returned the salute, did an about face and marched back to the front desk. Standing in front of the Lieutenants desk, the Lieutenant stated, “At ease. Have a seat. I'll be back in a minute.” Walking back to the Colonel's office, he closed the door. After a few minutes he was back. “Well it looks like you're my superior officer as of now. Congratulations on your promotion! I'm sure you'll earn it. I'll have you hang out while I do paperwork until five. Then we'll go to our barracks and then to chow.” Charlie and the Lieutenant talked intermittently, getting to know one another and filling out the forms needed for the officer's promotion. The Lieutenant's name was Peter (Pete) Lafayette. As Pete said, “I'm just a Frenchman from Louisiana. But you probably know more French than I do.” The rest of the work day was in making an effort to have the language flow smoothly. Charlie found out how little French he remembered. Panic started setting in. Maybe the Colonel had made a mistake. Charlie was about to jump into a French Class that had been running for the last six months. The next day Charlie was escorted to his French Class at eight hundred hours and met the class. Along with the instructor and Thi, there were nine others. The instructor started the class with introductions, “This is Lieutenant Charlie Mcfee. He is here mostly for conversation French. He will learn to read French, and it is my understanding he already has the rudiments of reading our language. To my understanding Thi is being thrown in with Charlie to develop their own French and Ede dialects. Now would each of you stand up and voice your name and rank. “Private First Class Joseph Whaling Sir.” “Private Jacob Varanasi Sir.” “Private First Class Thomas Stakie, call me Tom Sir.” “Private First Class Kyle Mills.” With a smirk on his face, he said, “You can call me Kyle.” “Private First Class Matthew Chiggers. Mat for a first name works for me!” “Private First Class David Ollie. David's fine.” “Private First Class Cornelius Kris. Nobody calls me Cornelius. I'm Chris!” “Private First Class Jared Grantee. And it's not Jar Head. It's Jared!” “Private First Class Ralph Callie. And it's Ralph, not Ralph-y!” “I'm Charlie Mcfee. I was named and nicknamed Charlie when I was born, and it seems to have stuck. Although I like a simple name like Smith. But like Ralph and Ralphie , I don't think Smithy is at all who I am. Now let's get to work and learn some French. Let us by all means, learn each other's French names. I think we might need to use them in the future. The First month of French Linguistics was a rude awakening for Charlie. He was reading French, writing French and verbalizing French until he felt like he was all french-ed out. Then he was in conversational Ede with Thi and Jacob. Jacob was small and dark like Charlie, which gave Charlie pause and something else to think about. Another rude awakening was the Martial Arts Class. Two hours of physical abuse of throwing an opponent around and getting thrown challenged a person's physical endurance. Charlie didn't feel alone though. All ten of his French Classmates were enrolled as well. Thi was for the most part, paired with Charlie because they were the smallest in their group. Charlie was four inches taller, but they carried the same weight. Charlie was outclassed with Thi. She was all muscle and had a lower center of balance. After a month Thi was still taking Charlie down, two out of three times. By the end of the month, Colonel MacFaden called Charlie in and gave him the news that he wouldn't be going home after French Linguistics. He was to be enrolled into a Officers Command School, right after French for four weeks. Charlie had to call home and break the news to Sylvia. She was not happy. Sylvia had hoped Charlie would be home for the birth of their baby. By the time the phone call ended, she was hoping the baby would come early. She said everyone was fine and Donny usually stayed for supper with the three girls and they would play cards after supper. By the end of the phone call Charlie was wishing he could be home, but was glad his Mom and Sister were there for Sylvia. With the end of French Linguistics, Charlie was ready to move on to something different. Thi and Jake, (Jacob Varanasi) were going to three months of Medical School, Lieutenant Pete Lafayette and the other eight members of the class were going to two months of Gorilla Warfare Training and then were being shipped out to Vietnam. Charlie was to spend four weeks in Officer School, a month of vacation and then six weeks of Gorilla Warfare Training. Then he would catch up with Thi and Jacob in Vietnam. Charlie was worried when Jacob told Charlie that he had been given the same deal that Charlie had been given. It was confidential information that only Charlie would be privy to. Calling home at the end of the French training, Cricked informed him he was the father of a beautiful little girl, who Sylvia named Charlotte. Charlie couldn't wait to go home, to see his family and meet his little daughter! Before Charlie shipped out to Officers School, Jacob and Charlie had been gathered together and had been given the skinny of their task. They would not be assigned to any unit in Vietnam. In fact, they were going to be slipped into Vietnam as information gathers (spies)! If the three people had everything go sideways, America would admit that they were American Citizens on loan to the UN. Charlie as well as the other two wondered for the hundredth time, 'What did we get ourselves into?' After the attack of Montagnards nationalistic group, people that had killed twenty American Special Force Soldiers and South Vietnam Soldiers. After that happened in September of '64', Intelligence was worried about what all the fractions in Vietnam were thinking. Thi, Jacob and Charlie would be one set of their ears close to the ground. The three would pose as half French and half Montagnard people. They would be given a two way radio and contacts that could be reached, and reported to. For the next four weeks, Charlie learned how to give directives in a voice that allowed no questioning and no argument. Charlie felt that it had been a waste of time. He could have been given a three hour class and the bases would have been covered. Time was dragging and Charlie wanted to go home. Finally the day came and Charlie was in the air once more. Only this time the planes were heading for Rapid City, South Dakota. It was the middle of December, one year since Sylvia had delivered that overdue baby. Looking back at all that happened in the last year, Charlie didn't feel like the same person that he had been. He knew he shouldn't worry about changing. If Sylvia could accept the changes and he could live with himself, that was what mattered. Coming down onto the tarmac in Rapid, with the wind blowing and snow drifting across the runway, Charlie could barely contain himself. He forced himself to sit and let some of the other people off first. Coming out of the plane and down the ramp, he ran to the terminal and out of the weather. They all were there, Tex, Donny, Sylvia, Cricket, Jenny and little baby Charlotte. This month was going to go way too fast!! Chapter 5 “I can't believe they made you a Second Lieutenant.” Tex was looking at Charlie's Bars and shaking his head. The group was leaving the Rapid City Airport, walking to Charlie's car. “They must be planning on putting you into a lot of do-do. And they're loaning you to the U.N as a peace keeping force? Don't believe that for a second! And they're training you and your group in Gorilla Warfare? All I can say is keep your head down and your wits about you. I'd say our Government needs to come clean with the American Public and with themselves!” Sylvia gazed at Charlie while he was holding their baby and trying to ignore what Tex was saying. From what she could see, he was the same Charlie she had known. What would two years do to them? Cricket had told her how Richard had changed after he had come back from World War Two. Cricket had also shared with her that Cricket should not have given up on her earlier life. Sylvia couldn't take her eyes off of Charlie. He looked sooo handsome in his uniform. “We are being sent over there to train the Montagnard, to shake off the hold the Communists have over them. Intelligence has ideas and plans that we will implement with the Montagnard to get and keep them on our side. My you're a pretty little girl, Charlotte. Hey, I think she likes me!?” “Of course she likes you. Why wouldn't she? She loves to be played with. Let's stop in Wall for supper. OK everybody?” Sylvia was ready to celebrate. “Woo, you guys came in my car?” Charlie couldn't believe it was still going. “Yes, it's the only vehicle we have that has enough room. Donny changed oil on it yesterday, adjusted the points and cleaned the air filter. Donny says it is as reliable as anything on the road.” Sylvia and Tex slid into the front seat with Charlie driving. The rest got into the back seat. Sylvia squeezed Charlie's leg and said, “Just like old time Charlie. I would hate to have to ever give this car up. There are too many good memories in it.” Tex spoke up, “Now guys, you're going to embarrass this old man.” Charlie used this time to ask, “How is the ranch doing? “Let's just say, you don't have to drive this old car if you don't want to. Sylvia and you sold over a hundred and fifty calves this fall. The recites were close to twenty thousand dollars. If you exclude a Cadillac, you could buy a new car for less than twenty five hundred dollars. But I would not encourage you to do that. You paid ten thousand dollars off on your Production Loan. Sylvia and Cricket need about two thousand to live on. Seven thousand needs to go for this upcoming year's expenses. That leaves you with a thousand for a used car and someone else's problems. Wait another year is what I would suggest. This old gel runs great!” “Watch who you're calling old!” Cricket yelled from the back seat. She was so happy that she was in a playful mood. “Ya, I may be sixty eight years old, but I can still fork them broncs with the best of us cowboys.” said Tex, teasing right back. It did Charlie's heart good to hear everything was alright. His Mom looked young again and Cricket and Donny seemed to be close. Charlie barely got though thinking how happy Mom was, when Sylvia nudged Charlie in the ribs and rolled her eyes to the back, “We have a wedding to go to while you are home.” Charlie glanced in the rear view mirror and quizzed, “Is that right Donny?” “She says she'll have me. You wouldn't mind calling me Dad, would you?” Donny was clearly embarrassed. “Why you old goat! Congratulations! You too Mom. Did I ever tell you about the time he roped me into cleaning his train car for him?” “Donny told me Charlie. Although according to Donny, he was just seeing if he could give you a good job reference. I'm glad you passed the test” Cricket wasn't kidding anymore and Charlie felt it. “Ya, me too.” Time flew by that month for Charlie and those around him. For Charlie, saying a month was presumptuous. It was twenty six days plus two days of travel. This wasn't February, and the days were full, with Cricket and Donny's wedding, Christmas and New Year celebrations. The nights for Charlie and Sylvia were bittersweet. It was almost like saying goodbye forever without knowing why they felt that way. Having to have to say goodbye was like a death sentence over their heads with the ranch holding them like a gilded cage with no bars. January 13th came too fast for all concerned with Charlie's shipping out, before anybody was ready for Charlie to leave. Once again they were all standing in the Rapid City Airport. Charlie was feeling so..... numb and was barely moving on auto-pilot. The first thing he could recall was landing at the Denver International Airport, and from there he headed to Portland International Airport. At Portland he boarded a plane to across the Pacific to Honolulu International Airport for a two month stay in Hawaii. Here it was a six weeks training in Jungle Warfare and two more weeks on how to instruct green recruits for Jungle and Gorilla Warfare. Charlie had a good four and a half weeks with the rest of the crew from Linguistics school. Lieutenant Lafayette had been promoted to Second Lieutenant, so they kidded each other about who was superior? They both knew they would have to react to what would happen to them in the field and what they would need to do, even if they would be miles apart. The Commanding Officers told them by May the monsoon season would begin and they needed to be situated in their positions before the rains came. Hopefully, Thi, Jacob and Charlie would be entrenched in a village in the highlands when the monsoons came. During the monsoon season it was known that the Vietcong stayed in North Vietnam because the Ho Chi Minh Trail was not nice to travel when muddy. All the trails would be muddy and slippery and no one knew when the rain would pour down with sheets of rain. That would be the time to cultivate good relations with the villages and be part of a force of trained men to meet the Vietcong when they showed up after the monsoon season. Intelligence thought becoming acquainted and creating a bond, would be possible with the people, if the three were to go from Village to Village. Thi would play the part of a healer with Jacob as a helper. Now that Charlie had been separated from the ranch and Sylvia, his numbed ability of being aware of things around him cleared and Charlie threw himself into his training. He knew he had to learn all he could if he was going to survive for the next two years. Charlie had arrived in Hawaii in the middle of their monsoon season. The Army in their infinite wisdom chose the wettest part of the Oahu Island to train in Jungle Warfare. He learned quickly all the ways he could be silent in the jungle and stay warm when soaking wet, and how to slip up on an enemy and how to dispatch the enemy without a sound. By the time six weeks had passed, Charlie felt pretty proud of his abilities. He didn't think it was wrong to feel he was the best of the best. After six weeks crawling around in the jungle, Charlie was trained in how to train others. Looking back, Charlie could appreciate why the Drill Sergeants in Basic Training were always nervous when handing out M-14's and would tell the recruits if anyone wanted to take pot shots at a Drill Sergeant, the recruit had one shot before the Drill Sergeant would draw his weapon and fire back. Charlie got used to carrying his Army Issued M1911 .45 caliber sidearm in his pants under his belt in a harness. Charlie was hoping he would rise in rank with the Montagnards as part of the three's cover. Flying into Saigon, Charlie was met with another world and another set of rules. Reporting to Army Headquarters, he spouted his cover story. “Second Lieutenant Charlie Mcfee, Part of United Nations Peacekeepers. I'm looking to catch up with the rest of my group.” “Yes, we've been expecting you. We have been given orders to take you to Dalat. From there your team will take you on to Buon Ma Thuot. You'll spend the night here and a driver will escort you in the morning. We'll radio ahead so you can meet at Dalat. Private, Show Lieutenant to the visiting officers quarters.” “Yes Sergeant. This way Lieutenant. I'm Private Jose Rodriquez” On the way to Charlie's overnight quarters, the Private started filling Charlie in on Vietnam's people. “The native people in this country are for the most part very poor. They consider us to be dumb tourists. They will offer any and all services for the most money they can. If you want to listen to American Music, go downtown and you will find bands singing American songs in English, even though the band can't speak English. If you have an itch that needs scratching, they will not only ask where, but how deep. With this in mind, is there anything I can get you? Don't be afraid to ask.” “I've had a long day Private. I think I'll turn in early. Thank you for your information.” Charlie started thinking about what he had learned from just the short conversation with the Private. No scruples with the Vietnamese people. We are here to serve them while they try to make us think they are serving us. France really did a number on these people by turning them from small independent farmers into opportunists with no other goal but to survive, anyway they can. Sad! The next morning was stressful to say the least. Driving through Saigon was a nightmare. It seemed like there were no rules on road etiquette in Vietnam. Just a whole lot of shouting and screaming with horns blaring. They finally made it out into the country. The road was a paved two lane road that had been patched in places, where it looked like the road had washed away during the monsoon season. Heading into the foothills toward Dalat the pavement turned into a newly graded road, but still a dirt trail. The American Army Engineers had been busy through the dry months of this past year working on this stretch of the road. The Private, who was driving the jeep, informed him that the Engineers and the Navy Seabees had construction projects they worked on every year. The second half of the journey to Dalat wound around the mountainous terrain till they drove down onto a plain where the town laid. The Private said it was forty nine hundred feet above sea level. They parked in front of an Army Headquarters building. Charlie grabbed his duffle bag and told him he was dismissed. Walking to the door, he saw a young woman approaching. “G.I. Joe. Thi have smoke. Like to see?” “Yes, I'm very interested. Where can I look at it? Lead the way.” Thi lead Charlie two block two blocks to the east, then down an alleyway into a small shack. Inside was a man with a goatee wearing black silk pajamas. Charlie switched to speaking in Ede, “Hello Jacob. Or should I say Dung.” “Dung will do. Glad to see you Dang. Take off your clothes and put these on. It's a good thing we're not farmers or we might have to wear a loincloth. Have you met my wife Thi?” Thi was standing by the door with her back to them. Dang realized at once that Dung was feeding him information. “Yes I did Dung. How long have you been married?” “For about seven months. We met in Doctor School by Medic. Teach us many things to help our people. We make much money.” Dung was into his cover story, like it was absolutely true. A little truth placed into a different reality. “It's a good thing I am a fighter for my people. Do you have a knife and rifle for me?” Dung handed Dang a pair of fatigues and green tee shirt. “I have an AK-47 with the serial number ground off. This machete will have to do for a knife.” Doctor Dung acted unapologetic. “We will pick up more supplies when we reach Buon Ma Thuot, along with our final orders. Let's throw your uniform into this wood stove after we cut the buttons off. We will lose them along the way.” It was a native crew in looks that left the shack Charlie had entered. Instead of the customary native Rade clothing of a homemade vest out of animal skin and a loin cloth of the same material, Dang wore the clothing of a G.I in the bush. Green tee shirt with green army fatigues and G.I jungle boots. By outward appearance, he was a Montagnard (Yard) that had been trained by America's Special Forces. The invisible differences was his self identity and his Dog Tags, hidden in his pocket. It was dark when they slipped out of the shack. Thi carried a backpack of food and utensils. Dung carried medical supplies and plastic water containers, while Dang carried the AK-47 on ready. Dang, speaking in Ede, asked, “How long will it take to get to Buon Ma Thuot?” “Three days, unless we can catch a ride or two. It is close to sixty miles to get there. One good thing, it is mostly downhill. We should descend about three thousand feet by the time we get there. Once we are out of town, we will rest until the moon comes up.” They rested and slept for a couple of hours and then walked until the moon started going down. They slept until the sun rose, ate something and then began walk again. By mid morning, traffic on the road was teeming with people. Mostly Yards traveling from one village to another. Once a convoy of trucks carrying troops drove by. Since Thi was a young woman with no facial markings, she got some cat calls. She tried to ignore them. Dung did nothing but scowl. The cat calls and innuendos were quite disrespectful. By noon they were about to take a rest under some trees when they saw the jeep. Dang recognized the jeep as one that had been in the convoy of troops. In the trees the three heard a scream. Dung looked at Dang. The two could go in with guns blazing or they could take the jeep, since the keys were in it. Dang ran to the trees following the noise. The sight of two men holding a girl down, with one yanking her legs apart was too much. Images of Sylvia being treated this way was more than enough to aim and pull the trigger of his AK-47. “Leave the girl. Let us go! Let us jump in the jeep and get out of here.” Dang felt they needed to put as much space between them and the scene in as short of a time as they could. Driving down the road seemed like a luxury after spending half the night walking. Dung had found some binoculars in the jeep and for the next hour had his sights glued to the road. “Trucks up ahead!” Dung exclaimed. Dang's nerves were shot by now, so he pulled off the road and hid the jeep under the trees, leaving the keys in it. “Let us walk about a mile and hide in the underbrush. We will walk in the jungle, parallel with the road. Hopefully we won't be detected. Sooner or later the army is going back to check on those two rapists.” “How far do you think we drove?” asked Dung. “If we drove an hour and did thirty miles an hour, that is thirty miles closer. We had to have walked as much as twenty miles last night and this morning. We should start seeing carts taking garden stuff into Buon Ma Thuot.” Dang began thinking while he was talking. “We should contact the Major tomorrow after we scope out how things are setting. I don't think we are in hot water but we should not take any chances.” I still can not believe you killed those two soldiers like you did! No hesitation at all.” Dung was still in awe of Dang. “I could not hesitate for one moment or they would have been firing back!” Dang could not tell his friend the vision of Sylvia that he had seen. As they were slowly moving through the bush, the trucks on the road were getting closer. By now they could see that they were the Army Transport Trucks. Dang observing the trucks whispered, “Let us go deeper in the bush and try to work our way around them. We do not need them to see us in this area.” Dang was thinking as he guided the other two through the jungle, speaking Ede language was starting to feel right, when he was talking to Thi and Dung. After a couple more hours of slithering their way through the jungle, Thi boiled some rice in her pot over a small fire and for added energy, they had an American bar. They made their beds on the ground and rested, while taking turns keeping watch and listening to the night sounds. In the morning when it began to get light in the east, they ate the rest of the rice and walked to the road. Once they were on the road, they could see behind them the American Convoy still on the road. They walked as fast as they could without being conspicuous in their haste. After a couple hours of walking the road began to get busy with people. From the travelers they discovered they only had about six more miles to go to reach Buon Ma Thuot. They couldn't wait to receive their final orders and have a place to stay put. Arriving at the Army Headquarters in Buon Ma Thuot, Thi was sent in with Jacob Varanasi and Charlie Mcfee's dog tags. “I am here to see Major Clyde Ditwitt about these tags. Thi said. “Is he here?” The Buck Sergeant at the desk thought, 'Another person wanting to get money for finding two more bodies.' “I'll give you the reward if you give me the dog tags and follow a detail out to where you found them so we can bag and identify them. Once we know it is our men you will get paid. OK?” “Not, I will only give these to Major Ditwitt. Is he here?” Thi had been told that this would happen. “He is in a meeting. Can you wait?” The Buck Sergeant wasn't going to interrupt the meeting if at all possible. “Tell me how long. I wait outside.” Thi didn't want to risk being detained. “By twelve hundred hours they should be taking a break. It is eleven hundred now. Come back in an hour. Let me see the tags.” Thi ran out the door and around the corner. Thi started speaking immediately in Ede when she saw Dung and Dang, “He wanted me to leave the dog tags. I did good, and did not give them?” “You did good. You did not see the Major?” Dang was ready to go AWOL and take back the name Smith as an Identity. (Absent without leave.) “No, we will see him at noon.” “No, you will see him at noon. Without the dog tags. He can come see us, after dark at the location we want! We'll find a hootch he can come to! We need some answers.” Charlie already had a very negative attitude about this mans war. Thi went back at noon and told the Major she would see him in front of Headquarters at twenty two hundred hours. That evening she arrived five minutes late in front of Headquarters. The Major was pacing in front of the building. “I'm Thi!” and held up the two dog tags. Then she turned around and the Major followed. Three blocks to the north she stopped in front of a rundown hootch and had the Major enter. Dung and Dang rose to their feet when the Major entered. Nobody saluted. “Major Ditwitt at your service Yard's.” The Major stated. “Since you've left Dalat, how have you enjoyed Vietnam? Not many people could survive in this environment. It takes a special person to fit in anywhere he wants to. You passed the first test by getting here on foot. Except it wasn't on foot all the way was it? You three might not know this but, one of those two officers that was entertaining a young Montagnard girl survived and can identify a five foot man that looks French. I was going to have you work out of Buon Ma Thuot for your first season of fighting and training the Montagnard, but not now. We are moving you north to Kontum and putting you three into Cambodia. The farther north the hotter things get. Phu Luong by the 17th parallel is the closest thing to hell for our Special Forces. That's where you three will be next year when you're seasoned. We are fighting a war where our hands are tied. The NVA (North Vietnamese Army) can travel through Laos and Cambodia since the two countries allow the NVA passage. We can't enter those two countries since we're not invited. So we enter under South Vietnam's Helicopters and Pilots. We don't stay in those countries. We hit and run. The further south the NVA comes, the softer they get until they come across the border into South Vietnam. Then we try to annihilate them. The South Vietnamese Helicopters can only carry two to three men that are fully loaded with gear. So we send out six man teams. Three Special Force men (SF) as advisers and three Montagnards. (Yards) Don't get me wrong. All six will and do fight. They are all under MACV-SOG. (Military Assistance Command Vietnam- Studies and Observations Group) Our SF men go in without dog tags, insignia's or rank. If someone is killed in Laos or Cambodia and we can't get him out, he becomes missing in action.” “Now you three are one of the links set up to finding NVA movement and to report it. We will give you a new and smaller radio that has only one frequency. You will hear other operatives on that frequency beside yourselves. You three will learn to live inconspicuously. Come May of next year you will head out to the Demilitarized zone and work strictly in Laos. At that time you will receive a new handler. I'm taking you three to Kontum tomorrow by jeep to be inserted by helicopter into Cambodia. There is another operative there that will do most of the leg work at first. You will have a month to six weeks before the wet season to get yourselves acclimated to your surroundings. All the SF tropes that go in use nicknames for cover and speak a foreign language. You already have mastered this. As long as you are ghosts you should be safe. You will not be identifiable. We need your dog tags for safekeeping. Can I have them as of now? We will send with you twenty five pounds of dry energy bars along with your medical supplies. You know all about not staying in one camp too long or letting your guard down. Dang has his training as well as Dung. Dang runs the radio and is in charge. We'll send a couple of extra batteries for the radio with you and a new type of charger that uses solar energy. If something would happen to your radio, like maybe getting shot, you'll have to find your way back to Kontum. Any questions?” “Yes, where do we meet tomorrow?” Dang couldn't believe this cloak and dagger espionage. Two superpowers, both fighting for their own idea of power and might and one small country, trying to capitalize and reap everything they could without regard for its own people. Charlie didn't know what Korea had been like, but it couldn't have been as bad as this. “ North of town. Let's say about a mile. Start walking at daybreak. I'll pick you three up. OK? I will always be just a radio wave away.” Major Ditwitt knew he needed these three, especially if they could survive for two years without the NVA discovering and dispatching them. He handed Dang a new hand held air wave radio that had only one frequency on it and explained the control buttons. He also collected the three dog tags and left. The three bedded down in the hootch they had found vacant. The next morning before the sun was up, Thi was awake and cooking rice. Walking down the road that morning, Dang made the comment that had everyone thinking. “Being ghosts is the only way we will be able to survive. Major Ditwitt wasn't kidding. If the NVA finds out someone is messing with them, we could have fifty thousand armed men beating the bushes, looking for us. Anytime something happens against the NVA, we have to have Special Forces there to take the heat.” Chapter 6 'It was raining again.' To Dang's mind that was an understatement. It was pouring again. If a person would tilt his head up, he could drown, but to Dang, rain was a good thing. His tracks would be washed away in a matter of minutes with this downpour. Dang sat under the tree until the rain let up and until it was only a steady trickle. A trickle was more like the rain in South Dakota when Dang had been Charlie. Originally Intelligence had them slotted to be part of a Special Forces Unit, trying to win Montagnards over to the South Vietnam's side of the war. Now they were deep undercover and if found, they could and would be shot as spies. All because of a surviving rapist. Intelligence had interviewed the surviving rapist, a Captain McKay, who had one of Charlie's shells bounce of the side of his head, who claimed the young Montagnard girl was only collecting two tricks with one go. Charlie was sure that the girl had been paid equitably enough to collaborate the Captain's story. Thinking about the last four months since Charlie had been in this God forsaken country, Charlie's thoughts returned to his last night in Vietnam. He had written Sylvia a letter telling her he was on a top secret mission and wouldn't be able to write to her. He went on to tell her that he loved her and that Tex was right. However, Uncle Sam had bought and paid for his services, although it was a lot more dangerous then even Charlie had imagined it would be. He went on to tell her that if she didn't hear from him for a year, not to worry. Just pray for his safety and surviving this mission! He had closed the letter telling her once again that he loved her and PSed with hugs and kisses. OOOXXX. Since dropping into Cambodia's highlands with Dung and Thi, Dang had spent his time with Dung and Thi, learning the terrain they were inhabiting. They had been told that it wouldn't rain as much here as down closer to the coast of Vietnam. Dang thought the rain here was more than he wanted or was used to. The nearest village was twenty five miles away. But there was still the danger of running into a hunter, who was out looking for food on the hoof, or tubers of different plants. The three of them were doing the same thing to supplement their rice and energy bars. That was one of the lessons in line with Gorilla Warfare. The three also practiced and perfected their hand signals and had learned to work as a team. These three main mission task, were to be the eyes for Intelligence. They must find caches of food and weapons and the subversive actions of the Viet Cong. (South Vietnamese communist resistors, to South Vietnam Government and worked under the North Vietnamese direction) The biggest frustration to Dang was what they had discovered, was a huge arms cache that was worth destroying. They didn't dare light it up, for fear of the Vietcong lurking nearby. All Dang could do was set a booby trap like the NVA had when they left it, or until Special Forces could be flown in. That was another tough lesson learned, in Gorilla training. How to recognize booby traps and how to set them. The three were constantly on the lookout for trip wires, dead-falls and snares. One night Dang had talked to the other two, about finding a few more places to hide out and they had agreed about put a few supplies in each location. But they couldn't leave energy bars for fear of the bars being discovered. An energy bar would say, American! It was finally decided that the bars would be buried in their most secured hideaway, and be used for emergencies only. The operative that was supposed to be in the area, had never materialized. The contact person on the other end of the two-way radio stated that their operative might have been a double agent or he had been made. Either way they were on their own! This particular morning Dang wasn't feeling the best. He woke up with a squeamish stomach and headed for the underbrush. With it raining on him, he started getting chilled. All at once he bent over and the heaves brought up everything he had in his stomach. Then the dry heaves took over. They had gotten a little lax with boiling their water since they had been collecting rainwater. Dang didn't know what he could contribute this ailment to. Crawling back into the cave he noticed Dung wasn't looking too good either. Looking over to Thi, he didn't notice anything different in her appearance. “How are you feeling Dung?” asked Dang. “Terrible! What did we eat?” Because of the three foot roof of the cave, Thi crawled over to Dung and felt his forehead. “Hot! Means infection from a bad bug. You two need antibiotics. I hope this doesn't last long.” Dang was looking at Thi and wondering why she wasn't sick? Dang was hoping the bug didn't last too long as well. By the time the bug had left their bodies two weeks had passed. Thi was busy boiling water for drinking and finding digestible greens and tubers that would stay down in the stomachs of the two men. The two Americans had lost the last remnants of what looked like Americans. Because of the Americans high protein diet and exercise most Americans carried twice the muscle mass as the Vietnamese. With Dung and Dang that was no longer true. They came out of their fevers with the stringy muscling of the Montagnards. Dang was happy for the respite, of Dung not feeling frisky at night. Normally it wasn't too bad, but if the couple got too brazen, Dang would step out into the night and think of Sylvia. It would be another year, seven months and how many days until he could demand Uncle Sam send him home. Right now, that sounded like an eternity to Charlie. Dang was informed the invading NVA would be coming their way. Then things would start to heat up and the three would have to take extra precautions when moving around. They must be invisible, no matter what in order to stay alive. And stay healthy! That season the NVA Generals started to feel like they were cursed. Not only with the NVA being nipped at the flanks with the Special Forces of the American Army along with the Montagnards, but their last leg of their journey seemed to be plagued with their stashes of supplies and weapons blowing up for no good reason. The troops would be sleeping when they'd hear the drone of a plane overhead with bombs raining down on them. The Generals would have the troops build underground bunkers, but the troops would be buried alive when several sticks of dynamite would go off at the entrance of the bunkers. For every kill of an American troop, one hundred fifty or more NVA soldiers were becoming casualties. The Generals directed their own Intelligence Agents to visit the Viet Cong and try to find answers to their perceived problem. The biggest possibility was a double agent or a paid spy among the Viet Cong. In the last part of the season the Viet Cong and NVA left the region. Dang, doing his part in the struggle for victory in this war, was always voicing new possibilities through the airwaves to their handler. Sound carried in the open areas and hills, where Dang had to be for reception on his two way radio, so Dung and Thi were always scouting the area when he was on the two-way radio. After almost a year, being in the thirty mile radius of their vigilance and scrutiny, Dang could at times call in the coordinates off the grid on his map without using the map. They was learning about this area and recognizing landmarks so well. Still, the ten foot antenna on the radio that was strapped to his back could easily be seen sticking out of the bushes. With the battery pack, the radio weighed fifty four pounds. Putting the radio on a two wheel cart was not an option because of tire tracks it would leave behind and the cart would need a flat terrain to travel on. To top it all, the radio was almost half of his weight, and he tried to never be seen with it so he didn't always carry it with him. The South Vietnamese Air Force 219 Helicopter Special Operations Squadron ran the American Special Forces into Cambodia and Laos. A pilot from SVAF came and picked up the three in May of 1967 with a Kingbee Helicopter. Kingbee was the nickname for the Sikorsky H-34 Helicopter. The Kingbee could carry six thousand pounds safely, so it was not a problem for the three of them to be picked up and lifted out. They were flown directly to Phe Bai, the military base for Special Forces and Green Berets. Phe Bai was a Base close to the Demilitarized zone, dividing the two halves of Vietnam. Their handler, Staff Sergeant Wayne Dresmend was in the chopper when the Helicopter picked them up. He had pictures of them for identification but the pictures didn't do them justice. They were long haired, thin as rails and dressed in rags. They had the look of Montagnards who hadn't had enough to eat. It wasn't safe to house the three on the Base because of spies in and around the base so he directed them to the native village next to the Base. The village of Phu Luong had all the native support a base could ask for and more. The Staff Sergeant warned them about getting too familiar with anyone at the village. “There is an especially bad strain of syphilis going around that is untreatable with penicillin. A lot of our men are going home sterile. Here is a red flag and some Vietnamese Dong. In two days, walk two miles west of the village and plant the flag on a hill. We'll find you three and provide you with everything you will need for the next eleven months. Also, don't do anything that will blow your cover.” The Staff Sergeant's speech jarred Dang's memories. “Ah, Sergeant? While I'm on Base, I'd like to make a phone call home if I could?” “Of course. How about you Dung? You could both follow me and I'll take you to the Colonel's Office.” The Sergeant thought he could walk them in and pretend they were a cleaning detail, to keep their cover. Dung spoke up and said, “Thank you Sergeant! I would love to speak to my Mom and catch up with everybody. Should be early morning in Portland.” Dang furnished his input. “You're fourteen hours behind instead of my twelve hours. It's what? Six in the evening here, and it's six in the morning, yesterday, at home. But, it's four in the morning for you. I'll call home first and hopefully not wake anyone up.” By the time they were seated in the Colonel's Office and Dang finally got through to White River it was almost seven. Charlie could barely hear Sylvia's voice above the static. “Sylvia, it's Charlie. How is everything at home? I've missed you and everyone back home more than I can say. Are you doing OK?' “Charlie! It's been so long. I've missed you so much. Charlotte, we call her Char, has been growing so big. I can't wait for you to come home. Why haven't you called before? Can you call more often or at least write? Cricket is going to have a baby in a couple of months. Tex is doing fine. Jenny is becoming a young lady. When are you coming home?” “I'm due to be released eleven months from now, but I should have vacation time coming which will make it shorter. Do you see Donny when he comes to do chores?” “No, not much. He's usually done with chores when I get up in the morning. And Char and I are at Mom's a lot. I get lonesome and there's nothing to do here. Mom helps me a lot with Char.” “Are you putting a garden in? Are you helping Tex with the bookkeeping?” “Tex does all that. He gives me cash for groceries and a little extra. Sometimes we eat in town. It's hard sitting around waiting for you to come home. I can't wait for you to come home!” Charlie noticed Sylvia didn't mention the garden. “I've got to get off the phone so someone else can use it. I'll be home as soon as I can. I love you! Bye, bye.” “Bye Charlie. Hurry home!” And the line went dead. Charlie looked at the phone and then hung up. It bothered him that he hadn't heard Sylvia say she loved him. 'Maybe we were cut off.' was his thought of reassurance. They had been on the phone for nearly an hour. Sylvia looked at the phone and said out loud, “What have I done?” She knew that was a rhetorical question because she knew what she had done. While going to her Mom's she had been talking to her Brother's friend. It had grown to the point where she was thinking of Vince all the time instead of Charlie. And in her heart she was blaming Charlie, because he had enlisted and left her. Jake (Dung) spoke up, “Give me that phone! Mom should be up by now.” He had pulled a piece of cloth out of the brim of his hat. In it was a hand stitched number. The Sergeant spoke up, “You should have that memorized soldier. Especially where you're going!” Jake couldn't let that go. “Here all this time I thought we were on a two year vacation in the tropics. Could have fooled me!” “It's your death! No skin off my nose smart ass!” The Sergeant knew the whole operation stank to high heaven and American integrity was being pushed into the mud to match the enemy's. Jake dialed his number and put the cloth over his ear. “Hello Ma? I can hardly hear you. You have to speak up!” Charlie didn't need to hear how Jake's Mom was so he stepped out of the room, all the while thinking about Sylvia, and wondering if something was up with her. That night the three bedded down outside of Phu Luong. In the morning they went into the village to buy food. Coming back from the village they sat down under a tree, and began eating, when silently walking up to them, and standing before them, was a middle aged South Vietnam man. He stopped and asked if they would share their food with him. “Where are you from strangers?” he asked. “West of La Drang.” Dang spoke up, wondering why the man felt he needed to talk to them. “It probably would be safer for you if you went back home. Are you part of the Montagnards that are living off the Americans? Montagnards are children that have chosen the wrong side. We Viet Cong are going to win our Land from big land owners and big government men. This is a Civil War that Americans should never have become involved in. Now that we have China and Russia helping us, we will throw them out and kill anyone that helped them. This village is a village of people all trying to make money off these Americans. They will all pay dearly!” The three were impressed with the venom with which he spoke. “We will heed your warning as a matter of importance. It is time we go.” Dang felt they had to walk away from any confrontation that might be brewing in the village. They could not get involved and blow their cover. They walked out of Phu Luong and headed west. That night they bedded down in the underbrush once again. The next morning they were on a hill with their red flag waving. The Staff Sergeant showed up with a chopper and South Vietnamese Helicopter Pilot along with ten other Marines. The Staff Sergeant was ready to debrief the three, and gave them the information on their next area of operation. He filled them in on what had been taking place while they had been on the border between Cambodia and Laos. “ The NVA is sending more troops all the time through Laos. Last week the NVA cut the perimeter wires in the Lang Vei Village and tried to overrun it. We can't let that happen again. Here is your radio and two sets of batteries for the radio. You have a new Handler in Khe Sanh who's name is Marine Captain John Hendercut. We have four AK-47's with ammunition, Clay mines and Fragmentation grenades for you. As you need more things we'll try to get whatever you need with bringing in Marines to cover your being out here. Now we are dropping you all off and we'll collect the Marines ten miles west of here. Disappear and good luck.” The three moved out with the Marines and fell out of the filing formation at the first overgrowth of trees that they came to. Dang turned to the other two and whispered, “Are we going to survive this year? Let's just stay put here for a while and get some distance from those Marines. They are moving through the jungle like a herd of elephants!” “I agree! We need to be like ghosts if we're going to survive this.” Dung was holding Thi's hand and even she was looking scared. “And not leave any sign of where we're at, or where we have been. That means no unnecessary movement from place to place.” The first three months were spent learning their new surroundings. They even slipped across the border into Vietnam to the little Montagnard Village of the new Lang Vei. The old Lang Vei had been abandoned for the new location because it was strategically more defensible. The Seabees and Army Engineers were busy building its defenses with concrete bunkers and sandbags. The new Lang Vei was made up of two Montagnard Tribes that had no love for each other, but both tribes were there supporting the Army Base in Khe Sanh which was five miles to the east. Thi bought a bag of rice and they bought sets of clothes to replace those that had rotted away. All the Montagnards knew that the Viet Cong and NVA were out to the north running surveillance but the American Marines and Special Forces couldn't inflict enough pain to get them to leave. The Viet Cong would simply disappear when Special Forces went on reconnaissance into the jungle. Dung, Dang and Thi listened to what the Montagnard had to say and went back to Laos. They scratched their heads when they saw the 33rd Royal Laotian Elephant Battalion was close to the border of Vietnam. The Laotians were in a Civil War of their own and the Communist Laotians and NVA controlled the border to keep the Ho Chi Minh Trail secure. The United States Air Force and Special Forces were also in Laos, acting as Advisers. The new Lang Vei Village was four miles from the Laos, Vietnam border. The three had been given orders to patrol ten miles deep on the Laos side. To feel safe they had their cave and other rest areas fifteen to twenty miles into Laos. They tried to never leave or return from that cave or any other safe haven by the same way. Nights were colder as fall was turning into winter and they were wishing they could head south. Having stayed on Cambodia's border last year was laughably easy compared to this year. It had been a lot warmer and almost no one was around. This year they were farther afield and didn't dare take the radio out except when necessary for fear of being seen. Dang had asked to come into the base for the rest of their tour because they felt they were of no help to Intelligence where they were located. By the end of November they could see there was a buildup of NVA camps and personnel in the area along the border. Intelligence felt there was a border battle shaping up between the Laotians and weren't worried. By December, Intelligence decided there might be more than fighting amongst the Laotians. The three were ordered to stay put and keep reporting any activity in the area. In the middle of January Charlie was notified that his wife had died, but it was too dangerous for him to come in, because Khe Sanh and Lang Vei were surrounded. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sylvia was sweating with Vincent laying on top of her. “Honey I've got something to tell you.” “Oh, what's that sweet thing?” Vince was smiling in the dark as he rolled off her. They had been meeting at a friend's house twice a week for the last six months. He had been sweet talking to her for the last year and could guess what was coming. He was surprised it hadn't happened sooner. “I'm three months pregnant. Aren't you happy?” Vince had told her last month that he loved her for the first time and several times since then. “Yes I am. What are you going to do when Charlie comes home?” Vince was smiling to the point his teeth were showing and Sylvia could see them in the dark. “I'm not going to be there when he gets home. I can't write him a Dear John letter because I don't know where to even send it. When he asks at Mom's place for me, I'll meet him and tell him I'm sorry. He'll see I'm pregnant and walk away. Then we can get married after he gives me my divorce. I can't wait!” “You'll wait a long time, girl, because I have no plans of getting married. You're a plaything for me and we can keep playing as long as you want, but I have other girls I like to play with besides you. Ever since that commencement speech you gave at your High School Graduation I knew you thought you were better than us. Well I got news for you sweet cakes. You aren't any better than any of the rest of us. Welcome to the real world on the Res.” “Why you, you, ASSHOLE!” Sylvia started getting dressed. Her friend Blossom opened the bedroom door and stuck her head in. “Did I hear someone scream in here?” Blossom asked. “Sylvia seems to be a little upset. But I feel great! I'm going to be a Daddy again. Sylvia, are you sure you don't want to stick around and celebrate with us?” “Blossom, are you another one of his girl friends?” Sylvia felt like she had stepped into the twilight zone or something. “Oh no! We're friends and share a little girl. Mostly we're co-conspirators. We like to take uppity Indians down to our level. Isn't it nice when you realize you've been had?” Blossom was openly laughing at this point at the merciless ribbing she was giving Sylvia. Sylvia grabbed her shoes and ran out of the bedroom. Passing the kitchen she saw a fifth of whiskey that was half empty. She grabbed it and went out the door. After taking two steps on the gravel driveway with her bare feet, she stopped and slipped her shoes on. Then she stumbled down the driveway, drinking out of the fifth as she went. Coming to the main road, she had to cross to get to her Moms, she stopped and sat down in the ditch. Within the hour she was drunk and depressed. Charlie would never accept Sylvia messing up twice. Besides not knowing who to talk to about her pregnancy, she also thought it might be too late for an abortion anyway. When Charlie came home, he would have to come to her Mom's to pick Char up, if Sylvia let him. Women and Native Women have been known to be vindictive where ex's are concerned. Could she be that vindictive? No! But Charlie would still pay for her falling for a con artist. For her not waiting! It wasn't fair! It wasn't Charlie's fault. It was her fault he had joined the Army. It was the Government's fault he was in Vietnam. Hearing a truck shifting gears as it began going up the steep hill leaving White River, she also heard cattle moving around in a Double Decker Trailer pulled by the truck. Topping the hill, the truck picked up speed as it was coming towards her. At the last second she stepped out in front of it. She truly felt it was time to pay for her crimes. It was instant pain when she hit the deer guard that had replaced the bumper. For just a moment she heard an air brake whistling as the truck rolled over her. She felt she was floating as she saw Charlie in a cave shivering under a blanket, then everything went black. She screamed because her worst fear as a little child was the dark. The last sound she heard was the evil cackle of Vince as he laughed. Chapter 7 Charlie was in a daze. Sylvia was dead? How could this be possible? Something must have gone desperately WRONG! Dung was in the underbrush, two hundred feet away, watching Dang. Why was he just sitting there, staring off into the distance? Why wasn't he, after his radio transmission, getting back under cover? Dung broke cover and ran to Dang. “Dang! What is the matter? It looks like you have seen a ghost.” All Dung saw on Dang's face was a blank look with a glaze over the eyes. “Sylvia was murdered.” Charlie hadn't been told that, but that was the only explanation he could think of that made sense. “Hit by a drunk driver? I don't know! We have to try to slip into Khe Sanh at night so I can fly out of here. If I have to give up my commission and they bust me down to a private, I don't care. I'm leaving!” “Charlie, if you're leaving, we're going with you! To hell with this man's army and the horse it rode in on.” Jake was speaking in English so Charlie knew he'd had it as well. All at once they heard an American crow cawing in the distance. “Quite Dung! Montagnards don't speak English with each other.” Dang barely finished speaking when an AK-47 opened up behind them, bowling Dang over as bullets hit the radio on his back. Swinging around with his revolver in hand he saw a NVA soldier swinging his AK-47 back around towards him. He fired and saw the youth's body fall as Dang shot him. He smelled battery acid as he saw Dung's bleeding and twisted body beside him. He jerked off the harness holding the radio and battery pack on his back. It looked like the radio and battery pack were shot up. Dang's mind was working on reflex. He would have to disconnect the two components and leave the battery pack for the one that was in the cave. Thi came running up to them, “An NVA patrol is coming!” She looked down at Dung and said in French, “Oh NO!” Dropping to her knees she rolled Dung over and put her fingers to his neck. A deep sadness came over her face and she proclaimed, “HE'S dead!” “We have to leave him Thi.” Dang grabbed the radio harness and radio without the batteries and grabbing Thi's hand, he literally drug her the first twenty feet. “Come on Thi!” He implored. “Run!” Dang found a track they had been on before that led through the underbrush. The track heading west and Dang took off running at a speed that would eat up the ground. Thi ran behind, struggling to keep up, not wanting to be left behind. After a half a mile Dang slowed up to a walk. With another hundred yards behind them Dang asked, “Are you ready to run again? Thi nodded and Dang set another pace, only this time not quite so fast. It was almost dark when they approached the cave. Grabbing the spare battery pack, Dang commenced to hooking it up to the radio. The radio wouldn't work. Dang threw it down in frustration. Then he picked up the unit and hauled it away to leave it hidden in some of the heavy underbrush. “Let's grab the blankets and go, Thi. We can't stay here. They are going to track us down and find us. Hopefully we can slip into Lang Vei and radio to Khe Sanh. We'll be shot as Viet Con unless we can tell them who we are.” Five minutes later they had their packs on their backs and were leaving in the dark. They could hear explosions and gunfire off in the distance. Dang spoke up, “Maybe they'll leave us alone if they have a battle to fight.” When the night was pitch black, Dang stopped and said, “I'm ready to stop, let us hide and sleep.” When Dang stretched out his blankets with dead leaves for matting on the ground Thi stretched hers out besides his. Thi commented, “It is too cold out here to sleep by myself!” Dang just shrugged and laid down. He was exhausted and hungry and went to sleep, instantly. Last thing he remembered was Thi's warm body against his back. When he awoke in the morning, birds were chirping in the trees, and it was just getting light. Thi was on his front side with his arm around her. “Have we got anything to eat?” Dang asked. Thi gathered some branches of Bong Bang and gave him some. He split the branches with his knife and dug out the core. After eating he slipped the used branches under a ground bush to hide them and he was ready to leave. Thi was soon ready as well. They needed meat to keep warm but Dang wasn't going to stop to hunt for something. By mid afternoon the two were getting close to the Vietnamese Border. They had stopped and dug some roots for their last meal and were hoping they could buy some rice and pork in Lang Vei. Road 9 into Vietnam was busy with people and Dang wondered why. Everyone was going toward Vietnam. Dang and Thi fit in with the people around them so Dang took the traffic as a good thing. There was no one at the border standing guard so everyone just walked across. During all this time of walking, Dang was listening to rumors trying to learn what was happening. He heard the rumor that the NVA along with the help of the Laotian Communists, had routed the Royal Laotian Elephant Battalion yesterday. The people around him were Laotian pheasants running to the protection of the American Army in front of the NVA. “I hope we are not running into a trap, Thi. The Marines and Special Forces can't help these people if the Bases are surrounded. This could be a place where a lot of people will die.” They entered Lang Vei and bought food. After eating, Dang went to make contact with the Special Forces that were there. Approaching a guard in front of the barracks of the American Troops stationed there, Dang asked in English, “Can I speak to Captain John Hendercut here in Lang Vei? I need to pass on vital information to him and report my status as well.” “Where in the world did a Yard learn such high brow language? What is your business with the Captain? I have my orders to not let anyone into our compound.” It was apparent that the Private was stressed out with fear. “I am an informant! I have vital information that the command needs to hear.” Dang was wondering what else he could say that would convince the Private to let him pass through. “I know I'm not supposed to blow my cover, but I'm First Lieutenant Charlie Mcfee reporting in.” “Ya right, and I'm the King of England. I suppose you want some Dong for this information you are parting with. Well I don't care who the Ding Dong you say you are, but if you don't get out of here, I'm going to put some M-16 bullets in you and you can take that to the bank. It might be the sand bank along a river, but that's your choice! Scat, git, Vamoose!” And the Private laughed at his own sick humor. Dang, with his AK-47 still slung over his shoulder, walked away. He couldn't understand how speaking perfect English wouldn't get the attention of any American. Was his part in this War supposed to remain a secret with Dung and him being expendable? Excess baggage? Without his radio, how was he going to prove who he was? Fingerprints? Yes. But that couldn't be done here. Phu Bai? Maybe! Saigon? Yes, but that was almost at the other end of the country. Eight hundred plus miles from where he was now! Dang was still shaking his head when he returned to Thi. “I can't get in. They all think I'm a Montagnard. If we can't fly out of Khe Sanh, what do we do?” “We go back to Saigon. I have Citizen Papers there. We can prove who we are. I know some people to find.” Thi was more then determined. She was adamant! Even with the loss of Dung alias Jake, she wouldn't let it get her down. Being an orphan and almost starving had given her the attitude that NOW will be the worst that can happen. Tomorrow it will get better! “How do we get back to Saigon! It's eight hundred miles away.” Dang remembered the fifty mile trip from Dalat to Buon Ma Thuot, and what a difficult time they had with that. “We do whatever it takes! Maybe we need to be Viet Cong for a while. From now on I will talk to you only in Vietnamese, and you need to do the same. We need to just see. Let's get out of here.” They left heading west on road 9. Before they turned south on the Ho Chi Minh road, they saw a mass of men heading their way. By their general appearance a person would know they were used up and on their last leg. Dang stopped and waited for them. After half the column passed, he started walking alongside them. “What happened?” Dang saw a lot of wounded men. “Soviet Army Tanks'' is what happened. We were the 33rd Royal Laotian Elephant Battalion. Do you know what you get when you put Elephants against tanks? Dead Elephants, that's what!” Dang stopped and let the rest of the column walk by. “The next time we see a large number of men coming our way, we need to hide. Tanks hu! We need to get out of this country.” “What about warning the Marines?” Thi had seen death most of her life and this looked like a lot more deaths. “The Laotians can warn them. We already tried. Besides that, it's too risky. The American politicians wanted a war. Well I would say they got into a war.” After losing Dung, Dang was not interested in risking anything more. They turned and headed south on the Ho Chi Minh road. Both Dang and Thi knew that North Vietnamese carrying supplies on their backs and on bicycles, was for the most part North Vietnam Government Propaganda. There was some use of human mules, but mostly they had Russian Trucks that they ran in convoys. The road reflected the use of trucks and was maintained by North Vietnam despite the aerial bombings the Americans dropped. That night after looking for something edible, they slept a half a mile off the road. They found a troupe of Red Shanked Douc (Monkey) that Dang surprised and shot one before they disappeared. Eating a primate did not bother Dang (Charlie) in the least. It had been a long year and a half since he had been squeamish about such things, rats, snakes, mice, you name it, they ate it. Thi had fed it to him and hunger had made him like it. The next morning after eating cold monkey, they started walking once more. Thi had convinced Dang that he might have to pose as a Viet Cong in order to catch a ride. By mid morning they heard planes overhead and to the south. The sounds of explosions lasted for fifteen minutes or so, and then the noise of the plane disappeared. By the middle of the day they came upon a truck wreckage. Some trucks were in the ditch and all looked like they had taken hits from the bombing they had heard earlier in the day. One of the trucks in the middle of the road had a large white star on the driver's door. No one was inside the cab and the truck looked undamaged except for a water puddle under the truck. Dang got excited when he looked inside the enclosed cargo area, among other things there was a scooter. The scooter looked hardly used. Dang looked around in the cargo area and found gas cans, full of gas. “We have transportation Thi! Help me get this scooter out of here.” After unloading the scooter and making sure it had oil and gas in it, they took two small gas cans along with their weapons and blankets and sped down the road. The scooter was overloaded but it was way better than walking. Speeding along between twenty and forty miles, Dang started to think they would get to Saigon sooner than they would want. “Thi, what would you think about spending a month at our old haunts in Cambodia? I don't want to be back in the Army and being sent goodness knows where. I want to report for duty just two weeks before my scheduled release. With my vacation time, that is coming to me, I should be released twenty four hours after I report in.” “That sounds fine with me. I've already served my time. I was supposed to be out this month, but I was waiting for Jake to get out next month. If you want to stop at our old cave, for however long, it is alright with me. Without Jake, I have no plans but to continue on with you.” Dang didn't catch what Thi was saying. He should have because Thi was no longer keeping her distance from Dang like she used to while Jake was alive. Now she was constantly invading his personal space and would only pull away when Dang would start to get uncomfortable. Thi was using her charms the same way women had done for centuries. Infiltrating and reprogramming their targets and Dang was now her target. Thi had been perfectly happy with Jake, but Jake was gone. Her heart didn't want to believe it, but her mind knew what she had to do. Thi's life experiences told her to grasp her best option to survive and Charlie was her best option. He was single and they liked each other, and got along well. Dang was being romanced and conscientiously didn't realize it. When they crossed into Cambodia and arrived at their little cave, Thi commenced cleaning it up and organizing their cookery and blankets. Dank went looking for something to eat. He found a colony of rats and set traps for them. He moved back to the cave, looking for anything else that might make a meal. He found a box turtle, about six inches across, that was wandering through a meadow. He killed it quickly, chopping the head off before it could pull it's head into its shell. Thi cooked supper that night with rice, bamboo leaves and turtle, making a soup that was tasty and filling. After supper, Thi made her pitch, “I would not ask you this, but Jake is dead. Your wife is dead! I want to stay with you, always. I don't trust many people, but I trust you. Could I please be your special wife or your woman for life. You will not regret it. Can you promise me?” “Woo, this is too sudden, even for you! It has been two years since I saw last Sylvia. My love has grown dim where she is concerned. I'm sure that our love could have blossomed when I went home and now I no longer have that hope. But you! Jake died last week. How can you think of going ahead with your life so soon? Don't you need time to say goodbye to Jake? What am I missing here?” “I'm afraid! Your Government, our Government has taken care of me since I was sixteen. Now, they will send me to a land full of strangers. Who will I be able to trust? No one! But I trust you. If you had not been married, I would have chased you. I never told Jake, not anybody, that you would have been my first choice. This is the time for us. Please!” “I know you want this to be forever. Aren't you afraid I'll leave you once we get to America?” “No, you would not leave me. You might take a second wife, but you will not leave me. I know you! Please!” By this time Thi was in tears and pleading, and Charlie could see the terror that was in her eyes. He knew how much it took for this brave girl to beg.” “Would you make a pledge to me? Would you repeat, after me, what I say?” “Anything you say, I will repeat.” Charlie could see the relief in her eyes, not knowing what he would make her promise. “I will promise anything you want!” Thi responded with her eyes shining in triumph. “OK, here goes. Repeat after me. I promise to love only you, Thi Bian. For whatever happens in this world until you die. I will want no one else but you!” “I promise to love only you, Charlie Dang Mcfee. No matter what happens in this world until you die. In this world, I want no one else but you!” Charlie realized that Thi was now his life-time responsibility as well as being committed to her. For Jake as well as Thi, he would do this. He had heard once that respect was the better half of love. He had a lot of respect for those two. “Let us go down to the stream and bath. Tonight will be our wedding night. OK Thi?” “Yes, Charlie Dang! You have made me so happy.” Thi's smile said it all. The next morning Charlie looked back at the night before. Thi washed him in the stream while Charlie had washed her. Later after each tried to make the other as sated and happy as they could, Charlie held her as she cried. He knew Thi was saying goodbye to Jake and Charlie was understanding, because he was saying goodbye as well. They stayed for three weeks in their cave, going out only to gather and fix food. Otherwise, they talked about all the things that had happened to them before they had met. Charlie admitted to running away from home and Thi talked about her journey to Saigon, about her Father leaving her and her Mother so he could go back to France, then came the loss of her Mother, and starving to the point where she would have done anything just for something to eat and survive. In other words, they bonded to a new and different plane then before Jake had died. When they left the cave and headed to Saigon, Charlie estimated it to be about the first part of March. Thi and Dang agreed that they would have to spend some time in Saigon to find out the latest news and to establish who they were. They found more news than they wanted to hear. Russian built tanks had taken Lang Vei and had Khe Sanh under siege. They heard news about what had happened when they had left Vietnam going into Laos. Until then Charlie and Thi had been ignorant of what had happened. Opening up the Tet Offensive, NVA and the Viet Cong had attacked Hoi Ann, Da Nang, Ban Me Truot, Kon Tum, Pleiku, Qui Nhon, and Nha Trang. All in the beginning of the year, on January 31, 1968, the United States Embassy had been attacked and the Viet Cong had bombed and fought their way into the Embassy before the attack was repelled. Dang and Thi found the American Army and Civilians under heightened alert, awareness and fear. Thank goodness for Thi, who found an old acquaintance that acted as a go-between. The Acquaintance, Nguyen Si Fieu, arranged to have a witness and an American fingerprinter to take Charlie's and Thi's fingerprints. After a Major was notified of the authenticity of Charlie and Thi, they were allowed to come into MACV Headquarters. (Military Assistance Command, Vietnam) Charlie was to be Court Martialed with leaving the field of engagement under fire and AWOL, or in other words, absent without leave. Since Thi's term of enlistment had ran its course before they had left Lang Vei, she was released from the service with a honorable discharge. The Military threw Charlie in the Brig and three days later a JAG Officer, or a Judge Advocate General's Corps, came to see him. “You are Captain Charlie Mcfee?” “The last I knew I was a First Lieutenant, as I see you are.” “You made Captain six months ago. What Divisions have you been working with since you entered Vietnam?” “I transferred to the 5th Special Forces Division shortly after I got here. The three of us, Jacob Varanasi, Thi Bian and myself. Last May, we were moved to the Special Forces at Lang Vei, and had a contact by the name of Captain John Hendercut at Lang Vei. The only way I ever talked to him was by radio. However, my radio was wrecked with shells from the same weapon that took Jake's life, I had no way to contact Captain John Hendercut except try to find him. When I couldn't get past security, I had to make the decision to protect Thi and my lives.” “You were the lead man while you were in the field?” “Yes Sir, from day one. When we left Lang Vei, we were out in the cold because no one would believe who we were. If we would have stayed, we would be dead! The first priority was to find a way to prove my identity.” “We have to be careful when we are representing Military men charged with AWOL. We have Americans out there, who have gone over to the enemy. When we catch them, we will charge them with more than being AWOL. They can get five to twenty years in Fort Leavenworth. But you have mitigating circumstances. In fact I'm going to ask for a medal for going above and beyond the call of duty. However booking a court date could be four to six months from now. I'm afraid you will be here for a while longer. Now, what we need to do is set up our defense. I need you to give me all the names of people in authority that you came in contact with while you have been in the service, and who was part of the decisions contributing to you ending up here.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thi looked like another person the next time Charlie saw her. She was dressed in her Army corps Nurses Uniform with her First Lieutenant Bars on her lapels. He was under house arrest and under guard at the (Military Assistance Command of Vietnam or known as MACV Headquarters. Thi was distraught to say the least when Charlie gave her a hug. “Oh Charlie Dang, what are we going to do?” “I am going to beat this rap. You are going to my home. To our home in South Dakota. We need you to catch a plane that is going to America. Once you are in the United States, and have a plane ticket to South Dakota, you call this number and Donny will come and get you from the airport. Make a sign saying, 'I am Thi Bian'. Have you got all this? I might be here for six months or, who knows how long. That's what I'm being told, but I don't know. I need you to be safe at home so I won't worry about you. OK!” “I don't want to go without you. Are you sure!” “I'm sure. Besides, there is a little girl you need to get to know. Maybe you can help her through the terrible twos. Sounds like just what you want! Right?” “You are so bad Charlie. You shouldn't tease like this. I'll go, because you're right, it is not safe here. And I hate Saigon. Something else I should tell you about. Jake and I had a joint bank account that our pay went into. I'm stopping at Portland to see Jake's people and leave Jake's money with them. I don't want it.” “You do what you think is the right thing to do. Don't lose Mom and Donny's phone number. They'll be waiting for your call. Hopefully I'll be right behind you! Goodbye Thi! Until I see you back in the good old US of A.” Goodbye Charlie. I love you and hurry home!” Thi turned around and walked down the hall and out the door. She knew she couldn't turn around and look back. Tomorrow would be better! That had to be her motto! Live or die! Chapter 8 Mona Varanasi watched the little Asian Lady walk up the sidewalk after a cab dropped her off. She could easily have been mistaken for a teen age girl, but she wore the uniform of a WAC officer. Mona estimated her to be approximately four foot nine or ten inches tall. Mona walked to the front door and opened it before the lady could ring the doorbell. Mona was apprehensive about a uniformed military person showing up at her doorstep. Her son, Jake should have been discharged and home by now so she was worried. “Mrs Varanasi?” Thi was nervous standing there. Being here was a big deal for her and knowing what to say had just gone out of her mind when the door in front of her had opened. “Yes, I'm Mona Varanasi. How may I help you?” “Do you have a son named Jacob or Jake?” “Yes I do. Tell me, is Jake alright?” “I'm Thi Bian. Did Jake ever mention me in the last two and a half years that I have known him?” Thi could see Mona had a puzzled look on her face. “We met in French Class, two and a half years ago.” “No, I can't say he did. Please come in. Would you like something to drink? I could make some coffee if you like.” “A glass of water would be fine. I came here straight from the airport.” Mona went to the kitchen and came back with two glasses of water with ice in them. Thi sat in the living room and thought about what Mrs. Varanasi had just told her. 'Jake had never mentioned her. Had he been using her all this time? Had he been planing to clean out their joint account when they got out of the service and deny he had ever been intimate with her? Never knew her?' All at once she felt lied to and used. 'Why would a person do that to another person?' Thi felt devastated and angry. 'Unless he was a user with people.' Thi felt very naive and belittled. “Now,” Mona began. “Where is Jake?” Thi could see Mona was apprehensive about what she might hear, but she needed to know. “The official status with Jake according to the Military is, 'Missing in Action.' We were in Laos on reconnaissance when Jake was killed. The body was never recovered. We were never allowed to take our dog tags with us because under the Geneva Convention, we weren't even supposed to be there.” “That's crazy! As long as my boy is missing in action, the Government doesn't have to pay survivor benefits or let me bury my son. You said you were there when my son died? Was anyone else there?” At first Thi thought Mona was looking for Government money. On second thought she realized Mona was just venting. “Yes, Captain Charlie Mcfee was there as well. You see, we were passing ourselves off as Montagnards. You heard what's been happening in Khe Sanh. Well we were left on our own outside the perimeter of Khe Sanh. We ran to Saigon and now Captain Mcfee is being Court Martialed. We can't do anything until he is exonerated. I have some money with me that is Jake's. He would want you to have it. It is a bank draft made out to you. Please take it.” At this moment all Thi wanted to do was stand up and leave. She had felt guilty about leaving Jake, even though she knew when Jake died that she had to run. And now she was feeling guilty about thinking that Jake might never have loved her. She felt devastated all over again. “Perhaps the Captain and you could sign an affidavit stating you witnessed Jake dying? The Army would have no choice then but to declare Jake deceased.” Mona knew the rest of her children would want answers. Even though Jake was the seventh of nine children, he was still her child and she knew Jake would want to be recognized for the part he had played in the war. “I'll leave you with the phone number that I have for Captain Mcfee's Mother's place. This phone number is in South Dakota in a little town called White River. Give me your phone number and we will stay in touch. When Charlie comes home we can talk about what we can do for Jake.” Thi couldn't wait any longer. She had to leave. It felt like the walls were closing in on her. “I need to leave now so I don't miss my plane. It was nice meeting you Mona. Goodbye!” “Yes Thi, let's keep in touch. I'll give Jake's siblings the awful news. I hope everything will be OK when you get to South Dakota. Goodbye. ” In Mona's mind she wondered why anyone would want to live in South Dakota. When Thi returned to the Portland Airport, she found that there was only one flight to South Dakota and it was to Sioux Falls. The plane was leaving within the hour. She rang Cricket's phone and heard it ring, “Hello?” “Hello. Mrs Cousins?” “Yes, who's this?” “My name is Thi Bian. I was with your son in Vietnam. Charlie had to stay behind because the Army feels he did something wrong. He sent me ahead to come live with you in White River. I'm in Portland, Oregon and I have a plane that I have to board, flight 846. It will be landing in Sioux Falls with one stop in Salt lake. Could you come get me?” “Yes we can, but you might have to wait a while. It is five hours to Sioux Falls and I have to get Donny out of the field. How will we know you when we get there?” “I'll be standing at the entrance with a sign. Remember, Thi Bian. I can't wait to meet you people” Thi wanted to sound eager and hoped she had. “I can't promise anything, but let me give you another number. 605-259-____ it belongs to Tex Samples. He'll know when we left. We'll see you soon.” Cricket hung the phone up and thought, 'I wonder if Charlie heard that Sylvia died? He must have, otherwise he wouldn't be bringing a girl home, would he?' She grabbed little Eddie off the floor and rushed out to Charlie's old car to drive out to the field. “Donny! We have to go to Sioux Falls. Charlie has a friend that's flying in from Portland. We'll have to stop at school and pick Jenny up!” “Let me see if Jack can finish up this field. I'll drive over to Tex's place and see if he'll finish it. Then I'll be home. Draw some bathwater for me, will you?” All the while Donny was thinking, 'The car's about empty. I'll have to fill gas in White River when we pick up Jenny. I'd better grab some tools to throw in the trunk, just in case we have car trouble.' Jack was a young cowboy, twenty two years of age, that had graduated with Charlie and Sylvia four years ago. His parents worked for the rancher east of the Manchein Place. His Dad's Boss hadn't been too thrilled when Charlie and Tex had rented some Indian land out from under him. Jack thought it was funny and that it served the guy right. In Jack's mind, he was just a land hog anyway. Jack had been helping Tex out for the last two years. He had gone from being expendable to being a necessity to have around. Tex and Jake were working on the sickle bar of a mower that needed to have the sickle sections changed out. When Donny drove into Tex's yard, he saw the two men were in front of the barn, putting the sickle bar back in place. “Say guys, we have to go to Sioux Falls to pick up a friend of Charlie's. Jack, can you finish the milo field up?” “Jack, go ahead. Donny, can I ride with you?” Tex was always ready to spend time with Donny's family. “Sure, I'm running home to take a bath and then I'll swing by to pick you up. See you in a bit!” They were on the road and had filled the car up with gas twice before they got to Sioux Falls. On the way the car started missing and they had to stop. It took Donny fifteen minutes to readjust the points. When they finally pulled up in front of the Sioux Falls Air Terminal it was six and a half hours from the time Thi called. They found her in front of the entry with her sign. “There she is!” Cricket exclaimed. “She's a girl?” Donny asked. “ Boy is she a little thing! I thought we were picking up a guy.” “I didn't tell you anything because I wanted to be sure of her myself. Now let's just act normal until we get to know her. She looks scared to death.” Cricket wondered if Thi had any family to go too. She got out of the car and approached Thi. “Hello Thi. I'm Charlie's Mother. Is everything OK?” “It is now! I was worried you weren't coming. No one answered the other phone number you gave me.” “I'm sorry. That's my fault. Tex came with us. Is this your luggage? Let's throw it in the trunk. Climb into the back seat with me and I'll introduce you to everyone. This is my husband Donny and our little boy Eddie. This is Charlie's sister, Jenny and sitting in front on the passengers side is Tex. Everyone, this is Thi Bian.” After everybody said their hellos Cricket asked, “I'm sure you were raised in the United States, but where were your folks from? You're so, I don't know, exotic? Beautiful to say the least, were your folks maybe Filipino?” Having lived close to an Army Base, Cricket had thought she'd seen every nationality in the world. “No, I wasn't raised in America. I was raised in South Vietnam. My Mother was from one of the tribes of Montagnards, and my Father was French. For two years I was at the American Embassy learning English. Since then I spent three years in the Army, earning my citizenship for the United States. I am now here to be Charlie's wife. You see, I lost my husband the day Charlie found out Sylvia was dead. Since then we decided that I would be Charlie's wife and Charlie is my husband. Where is Charlie's little girl?” “She's with her other Grandmother. Sylvia was spending a lot of time over there towards the end. If it wouldn't have been that Sylvia was in an accident, we would not have known that Sylvia had died. Char's Grandmother was taking care of Char at the time of the accident and it just seemed easier to let her keep her till Charlie got home. I have my hands full with Eddie and the rest of these hooligans.” “Thank you for your honesty Cricket. I'll have to see what I'm doing with the house where Charlie lived. Maybe you can go with me to see Char and get to know her before I take her back to live with me. Will her Grandmother let us see her?” “I think so. We should get you rested up before we go over. Taking care of a two year old can be stressful. I don't know how easy it will be for Sylvia's Mother to turn loose of Char.” She paused for a few minutes before continue her thoughts. “She might try to keep Char. Losing Sylvia was quite hard on the poor lady.” Driving along the highway, Thi couldn't believe how big South Dakota was. And this was only one of fifty states. The size of this country was mind boggling! It was two o'clock the next morning before Donny drove into the Manchein place. It took an hour to settle Thi into a bed after changing the sheets on the bed and turning the heat on. Cricket offered to pick Thi up at ten and go grocery shopping, and to the local cafe for a late breakfast. At exactly ten in the morning Cricket drove into the yard with Charlie's old car. When Thi opened the door to Cricket's knock. After shutting the door, Thi walked with Cricket back to the car while talking, “I have a bank draft to take to a bank. That is what Charlie said I should do. I need money to buy groceries but I don't know how much things should cost and how your money works. Will I need you to drive me around or can I learn to drive? I need to learn rules. You know, road rules if I am to drive.” They walked out to the car to get in. “Have you ever driven before? Charlie's car is a gear shift on the column. Let's have you drive to the main road. We need to push the seat all the way forward so you are comfortable. Now, use your left foot to push the clutch in. Pull the shifter towards you and down. Let the clutch out real slow while you give it a little gas. That's it! Now the engine is going fast. Push the clutch in and let off the gas. Move the shifter up halfway and then forward and up. Go faster. Now shift down. You're in third gear. That's all there is to it! To stop at the stop sign, push the clutch down and let off the gas and use your right foot to step on the brake. Slowly! Let me get behind the wheel. We still have a cafe in White River, so let's stop there and have breakfast before we go to the bank. The bank is open until noon. Since it is Saturday and Jenny is watching Eddie, I'm going to treat us to a breakfast that I didn't make.” Thi's eyes glowed. This was all she ever wanted, acceptance and a family. Now if only Charlie could get home! The two lady's stopped for breakfast and Cricket had fun introducing everyone there to Thi. By eleven thirty, they walked to the bank and Thi learned all about checking and savings accounts. Learning that there was a charge on each check that she wrote, Thi wisely chose to use cash except for big checks, or when you needed proof that something had been paid for. Of course having Cricket there always giving advice helped. Thi took five hundred dollars in cash out in small bills. Then they went to the grocery store. It was a thrilling awakening for Thi. There had been open markets in Saigon in which to choose food from, but here, there was no one asking you to buy this or that. Fresh green leafy vegetables were scarce, and the fruit was so big and so different in Thi's eyes that she wondered what a person should do with most of it. She couldn't find where the rice was, and then was told that the store didn't stock rice on their shelves. For meat, they had pork and beef. They didn't have any turtles, rats or monkeys and their fish was frozen. The store did have plenty of chicken. Cricket told her about fried chicken and offered to show her how to make it. Cricket also informed her that potatoes were a substitute for rice and offered to give her cooking lessons. Thi could only console herself with the idea that this food made the Americans big. They left with all kinds of things that Cricket thought she would need with Thi spending one hundred and thirty seven dollars. Food included vegetable oil, corn starch, spices, sugars, yeast and wheat flour, as well as toilet paper, paper towels, pads for monthlies, body soap and shampoo. Thi wondered how she ever had seduced Charlie by not smelling good. On the way out of the grocery store a drunk native approached Thi with a request, “Would you have a little money I could borrow. You look like a rich lady. You can afford it. Share some bread.” Out of reflex and shock, Thi reached in her pocket for the three dollars she had put there from the change for the groceries. He grabbed it and said, “Thank you, beautiful!” Then he turned and stumbled away. “What happened?” Thi was still in shock. “That was a drunk looking for another drink. You just met up with Sylvia's brother. He's been drunk ever since Sylvia died. Those people have to either quit being susceptible to drink or stop being so soft hearted. When they go on a drunk, they can drink for two months straight without sobering up. They shrivel up and start hallucinating. The worst abusers can turn into a vegetable before they quit. It is just awful!” Cricket always became infuriated when she saw natives throwing their lives away. She didn't know if it made her ashamed of being the one quarter native that she claimed, or if she just hated waste! “Wow! He looked like a man with an opium habit. I have observed that self abuse comes from a man punishing himself for something he feels he did or didn't do. I wonder why Sylvia's death hit him so hard. Well I suppose we'll never know.” The rest of the day was spent in Thi's kitchen. Cricket spent the afternoon teaching Thi how to use the electric appliances and how to cook a meal. Cricket called Jenny and organized everyone to come over for supper. Tex and Donny praised the food and Thi was happier than she had been in a long time. She finally felt like she could relax. No enemies behind every bush and no more hiding out. It was just people surrounding her that wanted to help her. A crack in her happiness jarred the moment when Cricket asked, “Thi, Do you think we should go see the Redbear's Monday? I'm sure little Char needs to start seeing you.” “Why not do the visit tomorrow? Or is there something else that you have planned?” Thi had gotten attached to Cricket through the day and wondered if there was some reason that she wouldn't be included. “Well, tomorrow we are going to church. It's something we do every Sunday if we can. I didn't know if that was something you would want to do? Are you a Christian?” “I don't know what I am. My Mother's people feel that they are guided by their ancestors. I think my Father was a Catholic. At least as a little girl, I remember going with Father and Mother to a Church on Sunday. I think they spoke a language called Latin? Would you mind if I went to Church with you?” Thi was wanting to fit in and make Charlie proud and not be ashamed of her. “Of course, you can go to church with us. Donny can come and get you. We live in Cedar Butte and the church is a country church, two miles south of us. You haven't been to our house yet since we are farther away from White River than you are. This place of Charlie's, is five miles away from us. Some day you can drive and pick us up.” Thi could see that Cricket was very excited about having Thi come to church with them. Thi, after having been shown off at the cafe, decided Cricket was a very social person and found it quite endearing. “What time should I be ready?” Thi asked. “If you are ready by nine o'clock, that would be great!” Cricket was all smiles. “I will be ready.” promised Thi. Thi was happy with how she was fitting in and how great her Mother-in-law had been. The next morning she was up and ready, wearing her dress white uniform with all the insignia on her shoulders and chest. When Donny pulled up to the house, Thi stepped out of the house and got into the passenger's side. The first thing out of Donny's mouth was, “Wow, you are going to knock everyone dead! White definitely becomes you.” “I will not kill anyone today!” Thi was puzzled. She was not understanding, surely, this had to be one of those confusing expressions. “No, no, you're a great vision. You're so pretty in white that they'll all be speechless. We don't get to see a girl dressed up like you in these parts very often. And we kind of become slack with dressing up on Sunday's. We all know each other so we no longer try to impress each other. You will just remind us that we should.” It wasn't long until Donny turned off the road towards an old shed and a couple of houses. “Welcome to Cedar Butte. The other house has a couple of bachelors that run the post office-bar here. They run a few cows yet, but that's about it. The girls should be ready.” No sooner did he stop in front of the house then Cricket came out with Jenny and Eddie and climbed into the back seat. The next two miles were uneventful except the chatter between the front and back seat. They arrived fifteen minutes early and were able to greet everyone and make introductions to the people that came on time. Thi watched and listened to everything that went on around her. Thi was shocked to hear that the preacher was speaking in English and not in Latin. She could understand what was being said. The Preacher was telling the congregation that they had been chosen by God to be his people. In gratitude they should try to be the best people they could be. The striving made a better people and a better place in which to live. Believing in God's son and what he did for you saved you all because of what Jesus, his son, did. Nothing anyone else did could save you. Thi had heard about Jesus before, but never understood how his death could save a person. She decided she would talk to Cricket later, and find out more about this Jesus. Thi remembered her Mother was afraid of spirits that she said were all around her, good and bad. Thi had always felt people were good and bad. How they became influenced to be good or bad had never entered her thinking. Thi had always thought that survival was up to her. It was better to live! Not if it was good or bad. After church they drove back to Cedar Butte and helped Cricket prepare the mid day meal. In this country that was dinner. The evening meal was supper. Thi was watching and learning all she could. An electric stove that would turn itself on at a certain time of the day, after setting it, was mind boggling. Yesterday it had been an electric blender. When evening came Thi was brain dead and ready for sleep. Her last thoughts were, 'Tomorrow they were going to see Char'. May for the most part was a beautiful time of year in White River. The first half of the month still had the possibility of snow. But if it was snowing, it was here today and gone tomorrow. Only lack of water could keep the grass from growing by leaps and bounds. By the middle of the month the cows and newborn calves were sent out to the pastures. Temperatures could reach 70-80 degrees in the middle of the day and nights could fall to the low 40's. Spring had sprung and the world was celebrating the end of winter. Thi was ready and waiting Monday morning when Cricket drove up with Jenny and Eddie. Cricket seemed quiet when Thi slipped into the passenger's side of the vehicle. Thi was dressed in black dress pants with a black sweater over a gray blouse. She also was quiet this morning. After dropping Jenny off at the high school in White River, Thi asked, “Do they know we are coming?” “No, I thought it would be better this way. I don't know what we'll find. But there won't be any excuses this time about this being a bad time to come over.” Cricket wanted to truly find out how her Granddaughter had been doing. They knocked on Georgian Redbear's door that was located among a cluster of houses, outside of town. The cluster of houses was referred to as, 'Native Housing.' It was close to nine o'clock in the morning, but it took quite a few knocks and a lot of whispering in the house before the door opened to present Georgian in the doorway. “Can I help you?” was all that came out of Mrs Redbear's mouth. “Yes, this is Thi. She is Char's new Stepmother. We are here to get Char acquainted with Thi and see if there is anything we can do for Char.” All Georgian heard was 'get Char' and went into an instant panic. “Char is fine and she doesn't need anybody else. She is just getting over losing her Mother. We don't need to upset her anymore then she already has been. If she sees you Cricket, she'll think about Sylvia. PLEASE go away!” “We can't do that Georgian. But, I will go sit in the car while Thi plays with her. OK?' Cricket knew she had to find out how stable the household was after losing Sylvia. Georgian looked at Thi and said, “Come in.” She then closed the door in Cricket's face. “Thank you.” Thi uttered as she walked into the house. She looked around and noted that the house seemed fairly clean. She thought, 'a lot cleaner than a cave with a dirt floor.' “Char is in the living room.” Georgian said as she walked past Thi. “Boy, Charlie didn't take long to replace Sylvia.” “I didn't set my eyes on Charlie until after he heard Sylvia had died. Donny heard a rumor in White River that Sylvia had already replaced Charlie. Is that true? What made Sylvia step in front of a truck?” Thi had planned to stay out of the finger pointing until Georgian tried to run Charlie down. “I try to stay out of my children's affairs. It doesn't do any good to dig up dirt now.” “Sylvia was pregnant. And it is all my fault!” Sylvia's brother, Harry was standing in the doorway to a bedroom that reeked of body odor and alcohol. “Harry, you don't know that! You're just guessing!” Georgian didn't want to hear anything bad about her dead daughter. “Why do you say it is all your fault?” At once Thi knew why Harry was drinking. “Because I set Sylvia up to take a fall. She had it all and she acted so high and mighty. She was pushing me to learn a trade and go get a job and leave the Res. Like I could do anything like that! Who was she kidding? I'm just a dumb Indian. So I set her up with the smoothest talking and handsomest looking friend I knew. It took a year, but he got into her pants and got her pregnant. Sylvia was supposed to accept who she was and live like the rest of us. Instead she went and committed suicide.” By this time Char had begun crying after hearing her Mothers name and realizing everybody around her was upset.” Georgian picked Char into a hug and patted her on the back, “Leave you two! Harry, I don't want to see you for a while. I can't believe my own son would do something like this. Your Dad and I always encouraged Sylvia and you to do the best you could. What's wrong with you?” Harry swayed on unsteady feet with tears running down his cheeks. Thi grabbed Harry's arm and guided him to the front door. She really thought that Harry was ready to go off the deep end. “Let's leave Harry. You need to dry out and have a change in friends. You and your friends need to start being accountable for what they do and who they hurt. Climb into the back seat and we will take you where you need to go.” “Take me to Simon's place. It's on the way out to Cedar Butte and you can drop me off. He'll take me in. His old lady split on him and he could use some company.” Harry was thinking his buddies would help him feel better. “Harry, you really need to go to a Hospital or a Detox Center. You have problems you need to deal with. When was the last time you had a decent meal?” “Quit your preaching. You sound as bad as Sylvia! Turn here. Over by that trailer house where those cars are. Just stop here and let me out.” Cricket stopped the car on the dirt trail and Harry got out and started walking away toward the trailers. “I give him a week before he's dead. Maybe less than a week.” Cricket was talking, but it was more to herself than anything. Cricket was turning around when Thi said, “Stop the car. We can't leave him here.” “If we don't leave him here, where? If you get him, we will have to make a trip to Rosebud.” Harry had opened the trailer door and was walking in. Thi said, “We can't leave him!” She got out of the car and ran to the trailer. Opening the door of the trailer she walked in. “Hey Vince, you got another one here for you.” A native man of about twenty five was sitting in a chair with a whiskey bottle in his hand. He passed the bottle to a guy sitting on the floor by him. Harry was not in the room but Thi heard Harry in a room down the hall. Thi ran down the hall and into the bedroom that Harry and a nude man were in. Both men were standing, glaring at each other. “You wanted me to seduce her. I did. Now you say I killed her because I broke up with her? All I did was educate her. Maybe you should have moved in with her and held her hand while hubby was gone and given her some brotherly love.” Turning they saw Thi standing in the doorway. “Hello little girl. Who are you? I'm Vince. You are an overdressed little lady.” She heard an “Oh shit!” from Harry and saw him turn around and leave the room. Thi turned to run for the door but Vince beat her to it. “You're here now so let's have some fun.” Vince pushed her and she landed on the bed. Thi folded into a fetal position and Vince opened the door and yelled. “Come in here guys. We have some work to do.” Thi had reached under her slacks and had pulled out the six inch knife she carried around her waist. Vince walked around the bed and grabbed her arm. The knife was in the other hand and she reached out and slashed up, cutting into his anus and ball sack. Vince screamed and fell to the floor. “Shot her!” Someone yelled and Thi saw one of the men had a gun, holding it with one hand and was pointing it at her. She dropped and rolled towards him as the gun went off with a loud bang and she felt a bullet whizzed by her head. With the knife, she stabbed up at his hand that was holding the gun and cut into his wrist. He dropped the revolver. She grabbed it and started shooting. The first shot was aimed at the uninjured man as he moved toward her in his alcoholic induced state. His eyes widened in horror as his life passed before his eyes as the bullet put a hole in his head. The native man holding his wrist was able to say, “NO!” as a bullet entered his forehead. Vince pulled out of his pain when the shots were being fired. He had a hard glint in his eyes and an evil grin on his face when Thi asked, “Why do you do the things that you do?” “For me, it's the only power and satisfaction I'll ever get out of this life. Besides them White Honkies deserve everything we can give them. They owe us big time!” “Goodbye you stupid excuse of an animal. For your sake, I hope there is a hell where you can burn for eternity!” With that said, Thi lowered the gun to his mouth, just to take the smirk off of his face, and fired the pistol one more time. Her ears were ringing from the percussion and noise of firing the gun inside an enclosed area. Thi looked around at the carnage of the three natives and remembered Harry. She picked up her knife and walked out of the bedroom and down the hall to the living room where she saw Harry huddled in a corner. She knelt down in front of him and said, “Harry?” “You're still alive! How is that possible?” Harry knew she couldn't have gotten away from them. Thi all at once remembered something Cricket had told her. 'They will drink until they go insane.' Thi looked into Harry's eyes and saw a wild glazed look in them. “Harry, you killed them for me. But you don't want to go to prison for doing what was right.” Thi put the revolver in his hand and put it to his head. “Now pull the trigger, Harry.” The gun went off, plastering Thi with blood. She walked out of the house and down the trail towards Cricket and the car. She saw a blanket in one of the car's that was parked nearby and grabbed the blanket through the open window and wiped her face off. “Open the trunk Cricket.” Cricket jumped out of the car with the keys in her hand and opened the trunk. Thi spread the blanket in the trunk and crawled in. In the same robotic tone of voice she said, “Shut the trunk and take me home Cricket.” Thi rolled into the fetal position and started crying as the trunk lid closed. Chapter 9 Cricket was full of questions when they got to Charlie's place. By then Thi had a story to give if the police asked. “Cricket, please be quiet for a minute and listen. When I entered the trailer, I heard Harry in the back of the trailer arguing with someone. I ran back there, ready to drag Harry out of there. The person he was arguing with was a man named Vince. Vince was without clothes and his face lit up when he saw me. He yelled, 'It's party time' grabbed my arm and threw me on the bed. I got my knife out of my pants and when he attacked me, I cut him. Immediately another man came in and Harry yelled, “Simon's got a gun” and grabbed it. Then Harry shot all three guys and stumbled out the door. I ran to see where Harry went and saw him in the corner of the living room with the gun pointing at his head. I said, “Don't Harry” and tried to pull the gun away, but it was too late. He pulled the trigger and splattered me with his brains. Leaving there, I decided to hide, so I asked you to put me into the trunk. Do we need to say we were there?” “No, I don't think so. The Tribal Police try to keep the FBI out of the Reservation, so they won't dig too hard to find if anyone one else saw you. You did right by asking to jump into the trunk. We will say, we dropped Harry off at the end of the road and he walked to the trailer. That will be our story. We know nothing! This should also be a lesson for you. If you get involved with the natives, you also get involved in their drama and all at once, you don't have a life. The biggest problem is, the Government has got them on handouts. Since they don't have to work to stay busy, they have drama to occupy their time. We don't have the time to get involved.” Cricket felt that this was a good time to make Thi understand why there were but a few natives at church on Sunday and why there was a division between the white people and the native people. It was co-existing but separate. The few natives that were in church belonged to a family of natives whose last name was Hawk. Before the ancestral family moved onto the reservation, back in 1870, the name of the patriarch was Eaglehawk, but the next generation shortened the name to Hawk. They owned and operated a ranch west of Cedar Butte and were ostracized by the rest of the natives. Because, they were charged with being, 'Uppity!' Because of the negative feelings, the Hawk's drove to Rapid City rather than face the negativity and drama with the rest of their people. The outcome to the loss of life of those four individuals was just as Cricket had predicted. The Tribal Police looked at the incident as a simple murder and suicide. Since an inquest was not called for by anyone, and the matter fell by the wayside and became old news within the week. When Georgian found out her son had committed suicide, she blamed herself and went to pieces. Cricket and Thi went to the Redbear's house the next day and rescued Char. It took a week of Cricket and Thi working together before Char began to cling to Thi. Char then became so clingy, that Thi couldn't go anywhere without her. Char should have been close to being potty trained by spring, but Thi took the option of the summer weather to let her run outside in the buff, like the Montagnards would do. By August, Char was as brown as a berry and willing to sit on a little potty chair while she watched Thi in the garden. Thi and Char bonded and existed together while Thi waited for Charlie to come home. One of the things Thi didn't miss was popping a pill once a day or carrying a pack of pills and Dong in a money belt around her waist as well as her trusty knife. She was thinking that not going back on the pill and having a baby would be nice. After more soul searching, Thi decided that, yes, she had ended someone's life prematurely, even if it had not been by much. The one life she considered important was Harry's, but the other three had done the opposite of 'loving thy neighbor'. Instead of loving one's neighbor, they had been trying to pull others down in the dirt to their level of existence. In other words, instead of trying to do good, they were striving to do evil. Harry fit, more or less, into this description, but Harry was repentant and could have changed with guidance. She didn't believe she needed forgiveness for what she had done, after all, she had done what she needed to do in order to survive. But she also thought that being forgiven by an all powerful God would help a person forgive oneself. It was the end of July and Charlie was getting antsy. His court date was coming up in October and he could only guess what the outcome would be. The JAG Officer that was representing him, said he was confident Charlie would be exonerated of all charges. Charlie didn't have that much faith in the Military any more. The Military would do what the Military thought was right for that day. After two weeks in the brig, Charlie was released to perform duties in the MACV Headquarters. (Military Assistance Command Vietnam) He received his room accommodations plus meals for doing KP and cleaning. He considered it a fair trade for not having to sit and do nothing for six months, plus an added bonus was having a gym to exercise in. It could be raining buckets outside while a person could stay inside and dry. When Charlie called home, Thi did not mention the drama leading to Harry's death. The calls were all about Char, little Eddie, the garden, the rain, or lack of it and the rest of the crew. The calls were usually once or twice a week and always ended with, “I love you and can't wait for you to come home!” with a reply of “Me too! I can't wait to get home and on a horse.” Charlie had begun to question this thought. It seemed like the horse was getting less important all the time. It was the beginning of August when the Commanding Officer at MACV Headquarters called Charlie into his office. He had a folder in front of him that was about an inch thick. “Captain Mcfee, After reviewing these depositions and talking to your handler and radio contact, I now know why your location in Cambodia was our only bright spot in 1967. Also as the lead man in your three man outpost, you had to use your discrepancies when making decisions. I am taking this time to inform you that all charges brought against you are being dropped. The Army is also extending to you a medal for, 'Above and Beyond the call of duty!' I now present you with the Silver Star. I am also presenting you with an honorable discharge. You can take this paperwork down to bookkeeping and they will cashier you out of the Army, unless you would like to re-up.” What the Officer didn't tell Charlie was that the Army had screwed up once again. No one could find a confidentiality form that Charlie should have signed. Charlie could blab to the press about everywhere and everything he had done in the last two years, and the Army couldn't do anything about it. “Not a chance! Thank you Sir!” With a salute Charlie did an about face and headed for book keeping and a phone. When Thi answered the first thing he said was, “I'm coming home! I'll call you when I'm stateside. I can't wait!” He heard a lot of squealing on the other end of the line. Charlie didn't know if she heard it all. But she had definitely heard. “I can't wait either! Char, your Daddy's coming home. Call, day or night and we'll come pick you up!Hurry, hurry, can't wait, can't wait!” The phone call quickly turned to gibberish. After cashiering out of the Army and getting paid mileage to get back to White River, he started asking how he would get back to White River. He caught a plane flying to Da Nang and from there he caught another plane hauling body bags filled with bodies. From San Francisco International Airport, the bodies were flown by Commercial Airlines. Charlie booked a flight to Rapid City by the way of Salt Lake City. He had a six hour layover there, so after confirming his flight into Rapid City, he made his call. It was ten o'clock in the evening the next time Charlie called, “I'm in Salt Lake City and I'm scheduled to be in Rapid City by seven o'clock tomorrow morning. Can you have Donny drive you to meet me?” He heard a squeal that almost broke his ear drum, “We'll be there! I can't wait to have you home. Tex needs to talk to you as soon as you get home. ---------. Love you!” “Darn these pay phones. Our three minutes are up.! I'll hug you tomorrow when I can talk to you in person. Love you too!” The airport welcome in Rapid City was filled with his family like it was two and a half years ago, except this time it was Thi instead of Sylvia that was giving him kisses. This time, driving back to White River, Charlie was sitting in the back seat and Donny was driving. Charlie had a fleeting thought, 'That maybe he no longer knew how to drive.' Then he shook his head. 'Once you know, you never forget.' His thoughts kept jumping around. 'I think Thi has gained some weight. All the grass looks so yellow and dead. Jenny is a teenager! This is a nice car. Tex is beginning to look old.' He felt disconnected to this life. He had almost been in a halfway house, washing dishes and cleaning at the MACV Headquarters. He couldn't imagine what all those fellow troupes felt like, being in a rice paddy one day with bullets flying overhead and then flying Stateside the next day. Thi watched Charlie staring into space and into the distance. She understood what he was going through, because she had been there too. With Char on her lap she leaned her head onto Charlie's shoulder and sighed. Her world wasn't perfect, but it was better then it had ever been. Thi and Char relaxed and went to sleep for the last two hours of traveling home. Charlie dozed off and on as well. Arriving at Cedar Butte, everyone got out and stretched. Tex started organizing, “I caught a ride with Thi over here. She's been learning how to drive and has a permit to drive in the daylight hours. Charlie, can you come over about ten tomorrow and go over the books with me?” “You mean we're still driving my old school car? Can't we afford a newer one, Tex?” Charlie could see the old bucket of bolts parked under a tree, minus a lot more paint. “O yes Charlie. We've been doing very well. We'll go over everything tomorrow when you swing by. Now you have to drop me off on the way to your place. Getting up at four in the morning is a little hard on this old body.” “Really hard on you, Tex, I know. A whole half hour earlier than your normal time. That's really tough.” For a second Charlie almost felt like he'd stepped back in time to four years ago when he was still a kid. It was noon before Charlie, Thi and Char made it home from Rapid City. Cricket had offered to watch Char for a day but both Charlie and Thi nixed the thought. Charlie needed to get Char's affection and not resentment by taking Thi away from her for a whole day. They spent the rest of the day talking and playing with Char, and spending the evening making sure Char went to sleep first. They once again slipped into the easy companionship that they had in the cave in Cambodia. Their love stemmed from respect and admiration for each other, and it was bound together by trust. Thi related the things dealing with Sylvia and Charlie had a hard time grasping what had made Sylvia spend time with the rest of the natives, especially when she knew how they had resented her. Charlie could only shake his head, completely baffled. The next morning Charlie walked into Tex's kitchen and sat down. Tex had the dishes in the sink and the account books laid out on the table. Expenses in one book for the last four years with a tab for each year. The book looked like it would take another ten years to fill. Another book had the last three years of income in it plus a running checking account statement for the last three and a half years. The last book was a reminder when property taxes, loans and insurance would come due and how much they were. Tex also gave Charlie a final observation of how well Charlie was doing. “The good thing about you being in Vietnam was, you weren't paying taxes while you were gone. The only money Sylvia spent was the money Uncle Sam gave her for spousal support. You didn't put her name on your checking account when you were gone, so I matched her sixty dollars a month support. That was more than enough money every month for her expenses. I think she shared some of that money with her Mom. When Sylvia died, I found a lawyer versed in Tribal Law. Char now owns those leases with you being her guardian. You can see I used some of your Army pay and paid down some on your Operating Loan plus you still have enough in your checking account for expenses until we sell calves this fall. Come fall you could buy a new car if you want, but I would suggest you buy a pickup. You can deduct the pickup off as an expense. In three years you should be able to pay off your Operating Loan and be setting pretty. Now, this last item is a more personal one. You're not married to Thi yet. What would it hurt if you didn't marry her? If you do marry her, I would suggest a prenuptial agreement. Most people don't even know what one is, but it is to protect what we have built here. I would suggest not doing anything for a few years down the road. At least until Thi decides she wants the marriage license. Then write a prenup.” “Is there something you know that you aren't telling me?” Charlie knew Tex was a good judge of character and wondered what Tex was seeing. “No, she hasn't done anything. But, she is growing and adapting to this country. Be careful who you chum with. With the wrong influences in her life, she might change into something you don't want! Just something to keep your eye on.” Charlie could see Tex was groping at trying to express his suspicions, but it was something he wasn't even sure what it was he was worried about. “Thanks Tex. You've given me something to think about. One of the things I learned in the service is to keep my eyes open at all times. It's after twelve. I'd best be going home and getting something to eat. Talk to you tomorrow or call me. I'd like for you to continue with the bookkeeping for now if you would.” Charlie had a lot to think about as he was driving home. He tried to analyze what Tex was feeling. Thi had always been outgoing. She would tell you everything she knew if she trusted you. Maybe, Tex was afraid Thi would end up trusting the wrong people. That could be it. When Charlie was almost home, Jack came from the opposite direction with Tex's old pickup. Charlie knew Jack was working for them and had probably checked the cows and put out salt and minerals. Jack had graduated with Charlie so Charlie knew Jack on a personal level. Jack's Dad worked for a rancher east of here and Jack hung out with the cowboys in high school. Charlie had always thought that Jack tried too hard to fit in with the boys. Even with being one of the neighbor boys, Charlie had never became friends with Jack. Charlie walked into the house thinking what Tex had voiced about Thi. Thi jumped up out of the chair in the kitchen and asked, “Did you eat yet Charlie?” “No I haven't Thi. Is there something in the refrigerator that I can warm up?” “I can make you a sandwich real quick if you would like. How does that sound?” “That's fine. I have a question. Jack, when he comes and checks cattle, does he ever stop in and talk to you?” Charlie could see Thi was hesitant to answer and tried to choose her words carefully. “He does. He stops in almost everyday and stays sometimes for an hour. We haven't done anything. If he would try something, I'd cut him with my knife until he left. You know that!” He could tell by her expression that she was telling the truth. “What do you talk about? Something like, 'How is little Charlie doing? Is he going to spend years in Fort Leavenworth?' Things like that?” “Some, he also talks about how Sylvia was lonesome and liked to talk and then she was no longer around when he stopped in.” All at once a light bulb went off in Charlie's brain. The native people were not a confrontational people. Besides IF Jack had been trying to get Sylvia to be untrue to Charlie, it would have been her word against Jack's. In other words, a native woman's word against a white man's word. Charlie thought to himself, 'She should have had more faith in Tex!' “After I get done eating, I'm going back to see Tex and ask about relieving Jack from active duty. I'm home, and I guess I'm going to have too start pulling my weight! I'm going to make this ranch and home happen if I have to work, twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.” Tex was surprised when Charlie drove back into the yard at one thirty in the afternoon. Jack had come in for dinner and told him everything was fine with the cattle over at the Manchein place and he had just left to check on the cattle on Tex's land. It was the middle of August and the prairie hay was all put up. The duties now were making sure the cattle had plenty of water and keeping mineral and salt out for them. In three weeks, if no rain fell, the cows would also need to be fed a protein supplement in the form of a cow cube. With nothing pressing to do, Tex had thought Charlie would take a week or so off, just to unwind and become stress free. “Come on in, Charlie. I didn't think I would see you anymore today. You don't need to jump into the thick of things right away.” “I didn't think I would be either, until I saw Jack coming from my place and I quizzed Thi a little bit. You and Donny hired Jack, so I would like you to fire him. He's been sniffing around Thi, trying to get her guard down and I think he was the reason Sylvia started going to her folks all the time. I don't think you need Jack, if I'm here working. Am I right?” “You're right. I'll tell Jack he's here until the end of the week and I'll give him two week pay over his paycheck. Does that sound right to you?” “Do whatever it takes. We don't need cows falling over from lead poisoning or dams getting laced with strychnine or any other disgruntled hired man revenge. In fact, don't have him come over to my place anymore. I'll get up in the mornings and start checking my own cows.” Charlie was hoping that Jack would ride off into the sunset peaceably. “Glad we are in agreement on this issue. Here comes Jack now. Stick around and back me up on this.” Tex was a little apprehensive about how this would go. It was only last week that Tex had reassured Jack that he would still have a job when Charlie came home. “Come on in Jack. Charlie was just telling me that he's ready to start pulling more than his weight around here, so I'm going to make Friday your last day here. I'm going to pay you for two more weeks of pay since I'm giving you such short notice. If your next potential employer calls here I'll tell them that you're an excellent worker. Fair enough?” “Not really! You told me last week that you could use me, even when Charlie got back. What changed” Charlie started to see that chasing this bull out of the pasture wasn't going to be as easy as he had thought. “I'll answer that Tex.” Charlie injected. “Thi was a little concerned that you might be trying to chat her up, and I feel you don't need to be around my place anymore. Simple as that!” “Ha, afraid of the competition little fella. I figure you're not married yet, so let the best man win.” Charlie couldn't believe the audacity of his ex-class-mate. “It didn't seem to stop you with Sylvia being married. You were putting the make on her too, weren't you? Charlie felt this was a good time to see what did take place while he was gone. “She was just an Indian Squaw, and you know they can't help but keep having kids. I was stepping in to help you out. She could have had a white kid this time around instead of the red kid she was going to have before she died. You need to look at this objectively. I was doing you a favor.” Charlie could only shake his head. He looked over at Tex and saw Tex was steaming. “Jack, you ass! If you saw Sylvia uptown doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing, you could have chased her home and threatened to tell me what she was doing wasn't right. But, oh no, not you. Proximity is all you need to stab friends in the back. I slept in the same cave with a buddy and his wife for a year and a half, and never once thought it would be OK to ask my buddy for a favor. And we would have given each other the shirt off our backs. Tex, would you be so kind as to allow me to take this shit head outside and beat the crap out of him?” “I see it like it is Charlie. You need Tex to even the odds up. Two against one.” Jack thought he was a real scrapper. Every Saturday night he went to the bar to drink with his friends and thought the evening wasn't complete if he couldn't spar off with someone. Tex couldn't believe he had been so wrong about a person and was appalled at what he had heard. “I'll referee so no one gets killed, but I'm not helping either one of you jokers out while you are out beating each other up.” “OK Jack, let's go outside.” Charlie couldn't wait to take that cocky grin off of Jack's face. “That's OK Charlie. I'll take it easy on you since you're so little.” Jack could only see that this was a winning situation. Maybe he could convince Charlie to move out of the state so he could move in with Thi. It really wasn't Thi he wanted as much as the Land Lease's Char had privy to. With the leases and Jack taking over the Operating Loan and the Branding Iron, he could become a Rancher. Something his Dad was never able to achieve. All Charlie did was tighten his lip. He knew what his moves were going to be and what he was going to threaten Jack with. When they got outside, Charlie moved into a boxer's stance. With the smirk still on Jack's face, he feigned with his left hand and punched with his right. Charlie stepped to the side while grabbing Jack's right arm and sticking his foot out to trip Jack. Jack did a nose dive and Charlie was on Jack's back like a lion on a deer. Grabbing Jack's left arm in a half nelson, Charlie reached into his scabbard and pulled out his knife,holding it to Jack's throat. “Now Jack, would it be presumptuous of me to think that you aren't going to cause me any more grief? I had ten or eleven kills the first four months I was in Nam, with the aid of this knife. After that I stopped counting. Right now I could cut your throat, bleed you out and take you out to that ravine north of here. In a couple of years we could have some deer hunters find your skeleton so your folks can have closure. Or you can take Tex's deal and pull up stakes. I mean you leave this area and find somewhere else to live. What will it be?” “You sneaky little piss-ant. You couldn't face me in a fair fist fight, so you used a knife. What a coward.” Charlie couldn't believe Jack was still belligerent. “You don't listen very well, do you? If you need a fist fight, you got it!” Charlie threw the knife towards the house, let go of Jack's arm and jumped off Jack's back. “OK, you dumb mule. If you want a fight, I'll give you a fight!” Jack wasn't as confident this go around as he had been the last time. He circled Charlie, with his dukes up, waiting for Charlie to take a swing. Jack hardly saw what Charlie did, it happened so fast. Charlie grabbed his left arm, turned his back to Jack, and flipped Jack over Charlie's back, putting Jack's face back into the dirt. This time Charlie kicked Jack between the legs as Jack hit the ground. “Jack, I forgot to tell you! I don't box. Everybody is bigger than me, so I fight anyway I can. Now get out of here before I carry out my threat and kill you. I don't want to ever see you again. Understand?” Jack could only shake his head yes while holding his hands between his legs. Charlie walked over to his knife, picked it up, wiped it on his jeans and put it back in its sheath. Charlie got into his car and drove back home. It had been, 'One very stressful day!' Charlie saddled up the eight year old gilding and headed out to the pasture. It was August again, two years since he came home from Nam. Charlie was proud to say, he had a son that was one year old. Charlie and Thi had taken over the Bookkeeping from Tex, and it looked like this year they would be able to pay off their Operating and Production Loan. Ever since Charlie came back from Vietnam, Charlie would become nervous around people. Especially around strangers. Thi preferred to stay home as well. It was also easier to stay home with the two little one's. A year ago Charlie had purchased a television set for entertainment and to keep tabs on the oncoming weather instead of listening to the radio. Charlie wondered sometimes if that had been a wise decision. Thi would get mesmerized watching the boob tube, especially when the soap operas came on. Thi had also gotten into using a beauty facial product called Mary Kay Cosmetics and was dressing up with store bought clothes. Charlie kept telling himself, his concerns were just paranoia. About six months ago, Thi had decided that having a Marriage License was the right thing to do in America, with America having so many laws written down and followed. Charlie had sat down and had a long talk with Thi. “I agree with you, Thi. But after the problems I had with Sylvia, I wanted to make sure you never wanted to go back to Vietnam or live a different life than what we have here. A divorce would have us, Tex, Donny and me risking a big part of what we worked for with this ranch. If you would like to sign a prenuptial agreement, I would love to have our marriage written up in the Court House. The assets we would accumulate from this point forward would be the only equity we would be concerned about if we decided to leave each other. I also think that would make Tex and Donny happy if we had a prenuptial agreement written down and stored with the ranch's assets.” And that is what they did. They had a small ceremony at the rural church one Thursday with family and a few friends. Afterwards they had cake and ice-cream in the fellowship hall. A year ago, Tex had called him, asking if he could come over. Pulling into Tex's yard, Charlie could see a man in an Army Uniform. Stepping out of his pickup, Charlie could see it was Jack. Walking up to Jack, Charlie could see Jack extending his hand. “Charlie, I had to stop in and apologize to you. I was wrong to think it was alright to force myself onto someone, regardless what nationality she was. And to think it was alright to bully someone smaller than me, I was just wrong. I'm sorry for any heartaches I caused you. I hope you can someday forgive me. I'm leaving for Vietnam next month and I had to get this off my chest.” Charlie could see Jack meant it. “You're forgiven. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes again. It doesn't sound like things are getting any better over there. Keep your head down and don't take any foolish chances. Above all, don't do anything over there you'll regret.” “What are you talking about?” “When you get over there, you'll see.” Charlie knew for a lot of American boys going over there, it was a real cultural shock. Words wouldn't describe the perceptions of right and wrong that were so different. Thinking back on all he had learned since the time he walked into Mom and Dad's bedroom and saw Frank, Charlie realized how everything in his past had molded him into who he was today. There were very few people he trusted. Those he trusted, he also kept an eye on. Governments can become too big for their own britches, and if Governments could become smaller, they should. It's alright if someone needs a helping hand, but everyone should try to row with their own oar. Little did Charlie realize that his experiences had changed him to be a self reliant, independent individual that took pride in not needing a lot of people around him. He had developed the attitude that no matter how tough things got, things could only get better. Life was not only meant to be enjoyed, but also needed to be endured in order to grow to become the person you needed to be. He hoped Jack would come back Stateside alive. Chapter 10 Tex was sitting on his favorite lawn chair on his porch, or as he would tell everybody, 'His Veranda.' Everyone knew it was one of his favorite jokes. It was August of 1980 and Tex was starting to feel his age. Three years ago Charlie had confided to Tex that the family was growing out of the Manchein house and he was thinking of building a new house for the family. Charlie was going in the next day to talk to the banker and see what kind of interest rates he could expect. Early the next morning, after thinking about it all night, Tex called Charlie and asked him to stop in before he went to the bank. Tex had a proposition he wanted to throw at Charlie. “Charlie,” he began, “Do you think Thi and the children could stand to have me around all the time?” “The kids love you and I'm sure Thi would love to have you around. What are you getting at?” Charlie was looking at Tex and thought he knew what Tex was getting at. He remembered how, when he had met Tex, Charlie had thought Tex was a cantankerous old fart. Charlie knew his life without Tex would not have been as rich and rewarding if Tex had never been in his life. It was good to sometimes be wrong about something or someone. “I would like to build that house for you with one condition. I would like to add a wing onto the house where I could have a bedroom and a small living room and kitchen. Plus a Veranda, where I can sit and look all the way down to the creek and watch the cows graze. Does that sound like something that you'd be agreeable to?” Charlie couldn't hide the excitement shining out of his eyes. “We'd love to have you live with us. Instead of going to the bank today, I'll go to the lumberyard and see if they have any floor plans on ranch style houses. Thi and I have twenty thousand dollars save that we can contribute to the cause. Come over for supper tonight and we'll talk about it. Breaking the news to everyone is going to be fun.” A year ago the house had been finished and Tex couldn't have been happier. Looking back on his life he tried to reflect how he had used and misused it. Tex had been born in 1897, and grew up east of the Missouri River in South Dakota on a homestead with a bunch of brothers and sisters. A lot of times he had felt he grew up behind the plow which was being pulled by a team of horses. At age nineteen he was drafted into the service and spent a long year overseas fighting in the First World War. Getting out of the Military, Tex knew he did not want to spend another minute behind a team of horses so he headed to Montana and ranch country to Homestead. In the 1920's, Montana was going through a drought period and the only thing roaring for the ranchers were hard times. Over the years Tex would laugh when someone talked about roaring twenties and how money had flowed like water. In 1928 he was lucky enough to have sold his land to a bigger rancher than Tex. When the stock market crash came he was thankful he hadn't bought any more land. In the mid thirties a native, who thought he needed a change of pace and location, and some spending money, sold Tex the quarter he was still on. At that time a banker wouldn't loan a man squat if he was a farmer or rancher. The problem was, that to many bankers had lost money with the '29' crash and not many bankers had survived. At that time Tex needed money for cattle and machinery and taxes. So he continued to work for the WPA and left his quarter set. He was quite upset when he went to check on his property and found someone was running cattle on his land. Tex was furious. Tex knew he needed a corral and now he finally had the money to build one, so he went to town and bought the lumber. His 1925 Dodge Pickup had a stock rack on it, so on Livestock sale day in White River, he rounded up two dry cows from the pasture and stopped at the neighbors to get a brand release from him. The neighbor laughed and thanked Tex for not loading up a cow nursing a calf. After that the neighbor rented the pasture for a cow-calf pair every year. That lasted until there was no more WPA, but by this time Tex had the money to start ranching. It had helped that the neighbor retired and Tex was able to rent some native land. Thinking back to all the struggles that he had been through, Tex's biggest regret was never having had a family. To Tex, having his family around him was his biggest achievement. And to think his family had started out with a runaway teenage boy. Thi had gotten over her TV fetish and now ran her household like a drill sergeant. Their oldest boy, Smith Mcfee was eleven and was in a hay field raking hay for Charlie. The hay crew had been at it all summer with Donny and Eddy doing the mowing and the last hay field was being bailed today. Fourteen year old Char was a responsible young lady and was unsupervised today as she and her younger siblings were moving cattle from one pasture to another. Her sister Ruby, (rightfully named) was ten, with dark red hair and green eyes. It looked like she was going to be the tall one in the family unless she quit growing. Ruby's younger twin sister, Ronda, by twenty minutes, was opposite from her sister like night and day. She was short and wiry with black hair and black eyes. You wouldn't think it but Ronda was the leader of the two. Last but not least was eight year old, Chas Mcfee. He was the fun loving, dare devil of the family, ever since he could climb onto the counters in the kitchen before turning a year old. As Tex sat in his chair and watched these kids as they came rolling into the yard on three wheelers, Tex involuntarily flinched. Four years ago, Charlie bought five of those Honda Three Wheelers at seven hundred dollars apiece. Charlie said the Three Wheeler was the future. They were going to replace the horse. Tex laughed when invariably one or two of them would break down. Today there were four of them running and Chas was having the time of his life keeping up with his sisters. When Tex and the family moved into their new house last year, Donny and his family moved into the Manchein house and gave up the Cedar Butte house. Donny had turned sixty five last year and was taking it easier, slowly drifting into retirement. Cricket was all for moving into the old house, just to be closer to everyone. Jenny was twenty four and had graduated from college with honors. She had left this week to start classes in Pre-Med. Eddie was playing Legion Baseball today, at the towns ball field, but him and his folks should be home soon. Looking over at their gravel road, Tex could see a cloud of dust coming down their way. 'Eddie' game must have gotten done early', he thought to himself. As the dust cloud got closer, Tex could see it was a little car leading the dust. Tex was puzzled, wondering who it might be since anybody coming down the road was coming to see them. Sure enough, the car pulled into their yard instead of going farther, which was an old dirt trail road. The car looked like it was dinged up some and maybe a Honda Civic or something. Even though it had been sixteen years, when the man got out of the car Tex recognized him. “Hello Richard, long time no see. I suppose you've come to see Charlie? He's got about another hour of baling left to go if you would want to wait.” “Yes, I am here to see Charlie. Who are these children I see running around here?” “Let me introduce them to you. Say kids, come here for a minute. I want to introduce you guys to someone. This is your Grandfather, Richard Mcfee. He is Charlie's Father. This is Char, short for Charlotte. The redhead here is Ruby. And this dark haired one standing next to Ruby is her twin, Ronda. This little guy here is Chas, short for Charles. Charlie has another son that's out in the hay field whose name is Smith. Ah, here comes Charlie's wife. Thi, this is Richard, Charlie's Dad. Richard, this is Thi.” “Thi? This isn't the young lady I was introduced to sixteen years ago, is it?” “No it is not!” piped up Char, “That was my Mother, Sylvia. My Mother died when I was two and Daddy brought Thi home to be my new Mommy. Mommy, can we go back to running our Three Wheelers?” Char was getting bored with all of this grown up stuff and could see her brother and sisters felt the same way. “No, you kids give those Three Wheelers a rest. Besides, all you are doing now is raising dust. Go in the house and bring some water out for everyone. Put some ice in the water as well.” Tex looked to the north and saw a dust cloud. “That must be Smith. Charlie won't be far behind.” After a bit, Smith pulled into the yard and drove up to the gas tank that was perched on a cradle, six feet in the air. Tex stepped off the porch to go talk to Smith. Richard couldn't believe that little guy had been driving the Ferguson tractor. “How far behind is your Father, Smith?” “He was starting on the last two windrows when I was pulling out of the field.” Smith had been thinking all day that Tex could have run the windrower for him so that he could have moved cattle with the rest of the kids. Life sometimes was not fair. His Dad would tell him that most of the time life wasn't fair. “Smith, I would like you to meet your Grandfather, Richard Mcfee. Richard, this is your Grandson, Smith.” “Pleased to meet you Sir. How come I've never heard of you before?” “Glad to meet you too Smith. I came for your Father's graduation from high school. That was the last time I've seen him. I tried to tell him what to do then, not realizing I had given up my right to tell him what to do. I hope your Dad will be glad to see me.” “Well, I guess I'd better get this tractor filled with fuel and out of the road before Dad shows up.” Smith didn't know what to think about Richard's honesty so he didn't say anything. He commenced filling the tractor so he could unhitch the rake and put the tractor into the machine shed. A short time later, Smith put the tractor away and headed for the house. At the same time a cloud of dust could be seen coming from the hay field. As Charlie got closer to the farmyard, he could see Tex and another man standing in the yard. Pulling up to the fuel tank, Charlie recognized him at once. He remembered someone else that had once come to apologize to him, Jack. Sadly, Jack had come home in a body bag. Some of the last guys to have their name on The Wall. That thought led to another thought. Charlie and Thi were able to get Jake Varanasi declared, 'Killed in action.' with his name on The Wall. 'Life had so much Sadness.' Richard approached the tractor and said, “Hello Charlie. You're looking like life is treating you well.” To Charlie, Richard looked like he had some rough years. His lined face was puffy with a red nose and a bald head. Charlie decided to forgo the compliments. “Hello Dad. It's good to see you. I'm glad you came. How have you been?” Charlie knew when he asked the question, he probably shouldn't have. “It's a long story and you don't want to hear it, I'm sure.” “Well, maybe you can tell me about it after supper. You will stay for supper, won't you? If you would like to spend the night, we sure would like for you to do that too.” “Thank you Charlie. I would love to spend some time with you. Are you sure your wife won't mind?” “I'm sure she won't mind. Donny and his wife and their son, Eddie will more than likely be here for supper as well. You've met Donny before. Let's go in and get cleaned up. Charlie felt that he shouldn't reveal Cricket just yet or his Dad might leave. Going into the house, Thi raised her index finger and Charlie nodded. “Set the table for twelve Char.” Thi instructed. “We're having a roast with potatoes and gravy, plus tomatoes and green beans from the garden, and apple pie for dessert. You're staying for supper, aren't you Richard?” “If I didn't, my stomach would never forgive me. Thank you for inviting me to stay.” Richard felt like he was getting the royal treatment. “You're welcome. I see the rest of our crew is just in time as well. Char, can you get the rest of the children to come to the table?” When Cricket walked into the house, Richard's face turned white. Not in a million years did he expect to see Cricket here of all places. “Hello Cricket.” Richard was able to spit out. His mouth had turned dry and his tongue felt like it was two sizes too big for his mouth. “Hello Richard.” Cricket was flustered but tried to keep things normal. “How are you? How long has it been?” “Seems like a lifetime, but it has only been twenty five years. How did you end up here in this wasteland?” Richard was almost embarrassed to have admitted that he knew how long it had been. “Charlie rescued me from my situation in the summer of '65'. I didn't realize how bad I had messed up letting Frank into my life until you were gone. Charlie found me after his basic training and sent Jenny and I back here, where I met Donny. That is our son, Eddie.” Richard didn't know what to say so he said what Cricket would like to hear. “He's a handsome young lad. How old is he?” “He's twelve. All he wants to talk about is Baseball!” Cricket couldn't believe how tough her ex looked. Cricket hoped the years hadn't been that hard on HER. “And you say you have Jenny. A daughter maybe?” Richard was trying to make conversation, but it was really hard to do. “Listen up everybody. I want to make an announcement.” Cricket knew the time had come to get something off her chest that had been bothering her. After everyone was quiet, she continued. “Richard, I have something to tell you for whatever good it will do. You and I have a daughter. Her name is Jenny. She is twenty four years old and I know she is your child. I had missed a period before I made the mistake of becoming intimate with Frank. There! I said it! For what good it will do, except for getting it off my chest. Charlie, I knew it would never matter to you, so I never told you. Richard, I'm sorry you had to find out this way, but I'm not sorry I finally was able to say it. Donny, this doesn't change anything between us. You know that. I'm rambling. I'm sorry, I'm sorry!” she kept repeating, as she tried to dry the tears from her eyes. Charlie was the first to reach her, “It's alright Mom. You have nothing to be sorry about. Sometimes all you can do is keep going. And you did. I love you Mom. We all do!” About that time there was a sound in the room, akin to an animal dying. Richard was sitting in a kitchen chair, trying not to cry and doing a bad job of it. “All these years, all these years and I never knew. I never knew!” Richard was fighting his own demons at that moment. How do you tell someone that the blame for what happened was on himself. Richard knew when he came back from the war, he had demons inside him. But he met Cricket and couldn't resist her. So he hid himself from her. They had Charlie, but he wasn't coping well, with his black moods. And then she left him for Frank. That was the end of the coping. The Bible says, 'Don't harden your heart!' His heart had already been hardened. It just got harder! Now he had a daughter he never knew he had. All this just added to the blame he would carry around until he died. Why worry about a hell after death? There was hell here on earth and he had lived it! Richard could attest to that fact. All he could do was lift up his head and face another moment as it turned into another day, “I'm sorry too, Cricket. I'm so sorry I didn't try to find you. I'm sorry I left and ran away. And I'm sorry I let my pride separate me from those I love.” Richard all at once believed he was making a spectacle of himself, so he lowered his voice and said to Thi, “Thi, we have to eat, before this food gets cold. Where do I sit?” “Right here, between Charlie and Smith. Charlie, would you say grace?” “Gladly my dear. Let us give thanks. Our dear brother, friend, Savior, Lord, thank you for your saving work and example, by dying on the cross, to cover us from our sins in the sight of God. May we feel your forgiveness and forgive ourselves of our wrong doing. In gratitude may we reflect your love and goodness. Bless this food now and may we share our love for one another. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen! Now let us eat. Dad, you said you have a story to tell. Don't be afraid to tell it in front of my children. I believe they can learn lessons from bad things as well as good.” “Okay Charlie. If you say so. When I left here, sixteen years ago, I had a wife that had resented me for the money I was making, and the money I had given you for your support in high school. We relocated to Yankton, South Dakota and I went to work for Wilson Trailer Company. Three years later, both girls were in high school and I felt as if I was living with strangers. Elsie wasn't sharing anything with me. She had gotten a job as a receptionist in a doctors office. When the last girl had graduated from high school, Elsie served me with divorce papers. I found out later that she had taken up with a doctor shortly after we had moved to Yankton. And she had been using me until the girls were out of the house and her relationship with the doctor had become cemented. I really felt used when I found out the extent of her deception. In the last four years I have become an alcoholic and last week I lost my job. I should have known the person Elsie was, but having a younger, attractive woman that needed me was an attraction I couldn't pass up. I should have known you were right Charlie and listened to you.” “I don't know if this is the time to ask this, but I'm curious. How is Grandpa and Grandma doing?” Charlie was wondering why Richard wasn't with his folks with his woes. “I'm ashamed to admit I lost touch with them. Every time I visited my parents, all I saw was disappointment in their eyes. Elsie would say they were just fuddy duddy's and started to refuse to go see them. I know I need to mend fences, but I'm scared. That's something for a grown man to admit. But it's true.” “Would it help Dad if I went with you? I would suggest that the whole family go, but that might overwhelm them. That was a very good supper Ma, but it's time we left the table and went into the living room so the children can do the dishes. Come on Dad and let's go into the living room.” That night Charlie laid in his bed next to Thi and he felt vindicated running away from home. Richard, snuggled in the queen sized bed in the guest room, he finally felt like he had come home. Life is good if you can feel right with yourself. The End |
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