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It's not my first day, in fact I first registered in the fall of 2023 and became a paid member a few weeks later. But today, TODAY is the actual first day I've tried posting anything. 8 months after registering on this site I finally posted something. And now I'm adding a blog. But I feel the fumbling, bumbling confusion of a 5 year old on the first day of kindergarten. The excitement, and anxiety fill me up. Will the others like me? Will I make friends? I long to reach out to other like-minded souls and quietly say, "are you nervous, too? Are you excited and confused, but yet still hoping and yearning for a connection with others?" It weakens and overwhelms me to my core, and when I'm overwhelmed I procrastinate. Duh. It's been 8 months and I'm just now posting. Ah well, at least I've finally come 'round and put myself out there. Now what's next? :D |
| Just as I was starting to get used to the site by logging in every day and joining a review group, life took over. Life smacked me hard. My husband and I were out and about on a beautiful Saturday morning here in Missouri. It was the day before Mother's Day, and the weather was perfect, so we decided to take our 1966 Shelby Cobra replica (kit car) out for a drive. Despite having repetitive thoughts all morning telling me to duck my head if we get into an accident and to put the upper part of my 5-piece harness on, I went about my morning ride as usual: enjoying the late spring sun warming my face, the breezy drive, and God's newly green earth in full bloom. In hindsight, I should've listened to that small and quiet voice in my head. Just before noon we were in a busy part of town, it was stop and go traffic on a portion of highway that was littered with stop lights. Before we knew it, traffic stopped extremely suddenly just ahead of us. There was a small personal truck just in front us that started to veer off to the shoulder preventing my husband from maneuvering our non-power brake and non-power steering vehicle in that same direction. Just as my husband moved the steering wheel propelling us straight forward, the truck then veered back into the lane of traffic. (We found out later that the car in front of the truck took the shoulder, so the truck had to come back into traffic.) Not having power brakes nor power steering and having to veer back into traffic at the same moment the truck in front of us did the same meant a head on collision for us. My husband put his entire body into trying to stop the car, but it was inevitable, we hit. In that moment just before the collision, I did not remember my repetitive thoughts about ducking my head, and I had not put on the shoulder parts of the harness. All I could think to do was reach out and place my hands on the dash to try and brace myself for impact, and think, "Oh God". Oh God was right. My call out for help probably saved my life. My face impacted with the dash, splitting my nose open from the tip of my nose up the bridge in a very large, upside-down Y. I did not pass out; I was clear and immediately took action to assess the damage of my face. My nose felt like mush. Ok, this isn't good, I remember thinking. My husband called out that the car was on fire and I needed to get out but just as quickly told me it went out and to stay where I was, half in and half out of the car. A female police officer was immediately on scene as she was just a few cars behind us. She came to my side, as I was scrambling to find something to cover my nose and try to staunch the massive flow of blood streaming from my face. My husband tossed me a car cleaning rag and I immediately pressed it to my nose and the officer helped hold my arm up and to my face, all while asking me questions. As I sit and type this, I am still astounded that I survived that accident. If it had been a larger truck, we would have slid under it and that would've been so much worse. If we had been able to go onto the shoulder, we likely would have slid into the grass and may have even flipped the car. I had shattered the bones in my nose, requiring reconstructive and fascial plastic surgery. If I had impacted just a smidge harder, I would not be here today. I never blacked out. I did not have a concussion. I didn't even have whiplash. I was alert and calm, something I'm not usually able to pull off in an emergency like this. I felt at peace, even with a busted nose and an inevitable permanent scar. I am at peace. I'm at peace because I know that Jesus was with us in the car that day. He surely kept me from impacting the dash any harder than I did. He kept me calm and alert so that I could deal with the urgent care of my face. He held me as I held my nose trying to stop the bleeding. And he gave me peace of mind that I will be ok, and I am. I am ok. It's been almost 4 weeks since I've been online here with WDC. I had just joined a reviewing group and because of the accident I haven't felt well enough to tackle starting on reviews. But I'm back. I'm healing so fast, I'm no longer on pain meds and feel mentally clear again. It's been a minute, but I'm gearing up and ready to start tackling my new role as reviewer. It's been a minute, but I'm back. :) |
| I've been consistently logging in for a week now, perusing the community board, adding works to my portfolio - though I haven't figured it all out. I wonder if I've added chapters from my book correctly as individual static items, or if I really should have added them as a book item? I want to make it easier on reviewers, but I still haven't figured things out. And I wonder, too, how to add my items to a folder. Ugh. I'll get there, I know it. But it will take some time. I made my first friend. I did my first review, and I really struggled with something to say, but I think I did alright, in the end. And I've even reached out and requested a review from a couple of different writers in the community. No reviews yet, but I know they will come on their own time. And today I got my first fan. That's kind of neat! It's kind of weird being here with no friends. LOL. It's like reverse social media. When you create an online social account it's usually where other "friends and family" are already online and registered, but this time I'm totally new, like the first day of kindergarten, or maybe high school (without all the bullies). One day at a time. I'll keep telling myself that. One day at a time - after all Rome wasn't built in a day, either. So I'll keep swimming and swimming... until I find Nemo. :) |
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