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 A new blog to contain answers to prompts |
Since my old blog "Everyday Canvas "  became overfilled, here's a new one. This new blog item will continue answering prompts, the same as the old one. Cool water cascading to low ground
To spread good will and hope all around.  |
| Prompt: Think about the last time you cried. If those tears could talk, what would they have said? --------- It was years ago, while visiting a graveyard that I cried, and a lot. I guess I felt I could let go, there and then. Fact is, I can't cry; maybe my eyes water a bit, but that's the extent of it. Usually, eyedrops make tears come out more than my eyes watering due to some emotion. My disability with crying has gotten me into hot water with some very good people. My aunts were mad at me when, during my early teens, my grandfather passed away. I was very close to him and I didn't shed a tear. I couldn't. Not that I wasn't grieving, either. My inability not to cry has its roots in my early childhood. My mother forbade my crying, telling me really bad things would happen to me if I shed a tear and those bad things would come through her very own hands. So, I learned not to cry. Truth is, her obedience training of me, good or bad, may have two faces. One face made me braver than most kids and I never complained or cried to anyone when she punished or spanked me. I also was very compliant with the doctors when I had to have shots and inoculations. The other face made me seem cold and unfeeling to the rest of the world. This inability has a name, I learned later. It is called, alexithymia. Then, there's another word, anhedonia, which means this inability, this not crying, has to do with depression, but I'm not depressed at all. There were times in my life when I was deliriously happy and even then, I couldn't cry. It isn't that I don't like crying. Sometimes, I feel like crying but something inside holds me back. I am guessing it had to do with my mother's training. On the positive side, I don't like when people, especially women, use their tears to get their way or to evoke pity in others. So, that's the good part, but the negative side shows up when I feel like crying and I can't. I found this note on Healthline: "Repressed emotions: Some people have a hard time managing emotions, so they push them aside or bury them in order to cope. This suppression might happen intentionally at first, but over time it becomes more automatic. Eventually, you might experience most of your emotions mildly, if at all. Even if something deeply upsetting happens, you might not display much of a reaction." I guess Healthline knew a bit better. |
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