%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
Experiences and thoughts based on my everyday life |
| This book will contain my daily thoughts. |
| I am feeling a bit of paralysis of analysis this morning. My ADHD has me bouncing in my head. There is so much that I need to, and I do not know where or how to start this morning. As with every other day in my life, I have bitten off more than I can chew. There are documents that need to be obtained and updated. I just put in for an address change with the post office, but they cannot finalize it until you physically walk into a post office and show them your driver's license or id card. Speaking of id cards, we need to get the REAL ID, and as of May, if you do not have one, you will not be able to board a domestic flight in the United States without one. My problem is that in order to get the REAL ID, your name on your birth certificate has to match your name on your current driver's license. Mine DOES NOT, because I was married (and divorced) but kept my ex husband's name because I wanted to have the same last name as my daughter. So in order to get around that, I have to get an official copy of my marriage license. I also have to obtain a copy of my divorce decree. In order to get either of those, I need to get my identification notarized with an official notarized document from them. Don't even get me started on what I may have to do in order to vote once I change my name when I get married to my current fiancé. I am just very frustrated. So frustrated. I will get over it. I just took a little 45 minute nap, and will now tidy up the house and then meal prep some veggies in the fridge, and make blueberry muffins with blueberries we got last week. Speaking of meal prep, last evening, I baked apples in brown sugar, lemon juice, cinnamon and nutmeg for about 2 hours (I have an electric range and stove that is DREADFULLY SLOW). I topped caramel ice cream with the apples and syrup last night as a treat and oh my goodness. I used the rest as a mix in for plain Greek yogurt for Rick's lunches. I used three large apples and it produced five servings. It is absolutely delicious. The blueberry muffins I will be making today are vegan, as the recipe does not include eggs. I am so excited to try this. |
| Wednesdays are tough. Wednesdays are the days I take a medication called Methotrexate. Methotrexate is a drug that is used as a chemotherapy treatment, but is also used as a treatment for rheumatoid arthritis. The benefits of this drug, for me personally, have been just a little shy of life changing. I am experiencing less all over body pain, the severe neuropathy, carpal tunnel, and ulnar nerve issues that have plagued my existence have improved significantly. I still have severe issues with both of my knees, as I have damage from injuries, and wear and tear from obesity, but also degenerative osteoarthritis. I have had one round of cortisone shots to help, but unfortunately, a week after my first injections, I fell, and caused further injury to both knees. Another side benefit of this drug comes not from this drug itself, but the folic acid that I have to take, as a chaser, so to speak, with the Methotrexate to prevent liver damage, which is one of the possible long term side effects. The folic acid has a minor benefit amongst the many huge and powerful things it does for your body, and that is hair growth. I was experiencing quite a loss of hair in recent years, and it had become so thin, that I was looking into wigs as a solution to hide this rather embarrassing affliction. I have noticed a lot of new growth in the few months that I have been taking this drug, and when I am brushing my hair, or putting it in a bun, I have noticed that it definitely feels thicker. As I mentioned, this drug can cause liver damage, so I have to have routine bloodwork taken to ensure that my liver is okay. We have to be especially careful because my liver has already been through a lot due to contracting hepatitis when I was in middle school. The one most notable negative side effect that I do experience occurs the day of the weekly administration of the drug. On Wednesdays, I know to expect feeling a little woozy and tired. It feels like being on a pain killer, and staying awake for the first part of the day is virtually impossible. More often than not, I end up in bed, or on the couch, absolutely zonked out. The fatigue and general malaise lasts until late afternoon. This means that I generally do not plan to do much of anything on Wednesdays, and that is only because my body will not let me. It is the kind of tired that demands sleep. No way around it. I only have one obligation on Wednesdays, and that is therapy. Luckily, it is in the morning, and I am able rest after. My fiancé has made it a rule that I do not have to exert any energy on Wednesdays. He has also deemed it "no cooking day", and he graciously grabs take out, or we go to a casual restaurant. He's a good one, I tell ya. So I am off to therapy in about 45 minutes, then, undoubtedly, to bed. At least I have the sound of the rain outside our windows this morning, to serenade me to sleep. |
| I did something a little drastic and spontaneous this weekend. I announced to my fiancé that I want to have black hair for our wedding. I am naturally blonde, and my hair had been red for quite a while. Going black is a big decision, as it is really tough to go lighter, once you move to the dark side. But I have really been embracing my witchiness, and with the state of the world, I wanted a way to make a silent statement and decided to dye it black. But not just any black, oh no... I went into the most blue black I could find, and threw caution to the wind. I ain't gonna lie, it's harsh. But the look in Rick's eyes says it all. It's like I upped the sexiness a few points. I keep catching him staring at me with a broad smile plastered across his face. It makes me giggle The new look definitely plays into my gothic youth, and also embraces my role as a crone, which I am leaning into very hard these days. The new look is still a little shocking upon looking in the mirror, and will take a little getting used to, but I am here for it. I will have long, flowing Morticia Addams hair in time for the wedding. It will match my black wedding dress perfectly. |
| My first official blog entry here! I am still getting my bearings now that I have decided to take writing a bit more seriously. Please be patient with me as I figure it all out. So here we go... my name is Samantha. Sam for short. I have only very recently started to embrace the shorter version of my name, and it is still only okay for people to use if they ask nicely, and I am already leaning toward liking the person. I have used many names over the years, depending on what I was doing for work at the time. During my days as a radio producer and photographer, I used the name Scarlett. I used Scarlett for so long, it stuck, and I used it in my everyday life for a very long time. I only started using my "government name" when I discovered that my fiancé's daughter is named Scarlet. I thought it would be too confusing for the kids, and his family, if I continued to use Scarlett, so after much deliberation, I made the change back. This caused quite a bit of confusion from others, some of whom did not know that my actual name was not the one they had been referring to me as for years. But they've adapted. My photography business is still under the Scarlett umbrella, and I am not in any particular hurry to change that. So it will stay for now. For so long, having adopted the name Scarlett became a way for me to hide. I wasn't happy as Samantha, and assumed that I could step into the Scarlett persona, and I was safe there. Scarlett was a name that denoted a sense of confidence and charisma, things I thought I lacked as Samantha. Through a lot of therapy, and a stark message from my spirit guides, a message that was delivered by the woman I called my woo-woo guru, who was my reiki healer at the time, and along with my partner's daughter's name being the same, I made the decision to go back to using Samantha exclusively. To say the message from my ancestors was loud and clear is an understatement. They kept sending the message-That's not her name!I was driven to make the correction that would please them, and myself. So here I am. Standing firm in who I am. My name is Samantha. Samantha Marie. My middle name comes from my great grandmother on my dad's side. A strong Sicilian woman built like a brick house, much like that of most of the women in our family. We are nothing if not built from hearty stock. If you'd like to know more, please ask away, because I have a lot to say. |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
