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Let's explore what the word 'good' really means. |
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Let us start with the goodies and work our way down/up to the good me that's been buried much too long. She must be there. I've heard about her...I long for her. Good things come to those who wait, right. Well how long must I wait. I'm just gonna have to write her into my plot and give her character and maybe it will come true. |
Common Errors in Popular Etymology: The Origin of the Word ‘Good’ Let’s explore the word ‘good’ here. Maybe the word ‘good’ is a common error in popular etymology. Maybe I can make some sense out of all of this if I dissect the errors from the origin of the word. How far should I go back into the word ‘good’ for starters? Shall I go biblical or maybe Ancient Egypt, Aristotle or Socrates’ or Plato? Hmmm. Let’s think about this a minute. Maybe Western philosophy or Anglophonic analytic philosophy. How bout the so-called continental philosophy? For starters here, I lied about being good this year. I tried but soon after the first sentence my fingers hashed out, the bad that must assist good surfaced. The entire time I was thinking about being good, I was thinking about the bad that Twelve gives to me that feels so good to me. The only reason his good is bad is because our acts aren’t blessed by Holy matrimonial bliss. However, as long as I'm still alive, it's not too late, right? It’s not too late for Twelve to decide that matrimony is not bad and do the good right thing, marry me. Or, it’s not too late for me to complicatedly stop doing the bad thing that feels so good, right? Starting today, I'm not going to answer the phone when Twelve calls me. Really, I'm not. Really! I’m not trying to sound vulgar or preoccupied or obsessed with sex here at all. Actually, I feel a tinge of guilt about this. That’s yet another indication that my elation is not all good. My guilt has company. It’s called loneliness, another bad feeling, in many ways. Loneliness has the tendency to fool its prey into feeling emotions that could be ignored or replaced with more positive feelings. I’m not lonely for people either. Several men call and want to share time with me. That sounds like a blessing that I do have choices but it’s not. It’s not since the only man I would like to spend my lonely time with is Twelve. Ophra Winfrey’s show just went off. Oh what a tear jerker that was. The topic was modern day heroes. Many people came forth with heroic stories of love and courage. I cried as each of her guest shared their story. My tears dropped fullforce when the eight year old boy that had been mould by the two pit bulls came on to thank the heroine that saved his life that near fatal day. The little boy’s reaction and sensitivity was amazing to me. He could hardly contain his tears as he hugged and thanked her. Ophra started crying then all of my tears came rushing down. Another hero came on and I guess my tears just kept on coming. This made me think of the last tear dam I had to hold back. It was the time when Twelve was with someone else. It was when he disregarded how I felt about that and continued his affair. As far as I know, he is still with her. It’s my understanding that she loves him too. I’d be willing to bet that she doesn’t love him like I do. I’ve known him for over twenty years. I’ve been in love with him almost ten of those years. It really doesn’t matter though, since he doesn’t love me back this very way. So, I just enjoy the good times, as short-lived as they are. Maybe I’m not being the kind of good we like to view as pure, but I’m being good. I’m feeling good when I’m being bad. I’m happy even, but there’s a deeper feeling playing in the background of that happiness. It’s there because I know that he will have to go today or tomorrow, or soon. I am good when I am with him. My muse works. My culinary skills surface and become oh so active as I lovingly prepare a meal fit for a king, my king. My entire body works wonders on my mind. As high as my hair stands, tangled and mangled, I am certain that I am beautiful. My overweight by at least fifty-pound body feels light as my teen days when I was only 150 pounds exuding my size 36C cup breast, 24-inch waistline and 36-inch buttocks. I'm on cloud NINE and above, lost somewhere off in the stratosphere when I’m with Twelve. How will I ever ease the pain if I get this kind of euphoric feeling every time he's around? I can't keep this up though. It hurts too badly. This can’t be good, especially on my heart. He has to go out of my life cause my goal is to be good this year, no matter how good he is or feels when I curl up in his arms after I’ve surrendered all of myself unto him. When pure sensation is running through my veins, my head is swooning and my body is still arched in the female wide receiver’s position. When the goose bumps are settling and my convulsions are just calming and my eyes have regained focus, nothing no one says, not even I, could change the way I feel right then and there, the fact that I never want him to leave, never go nowhere. Well, I’ll have to start after my birthday being good for the rest of the year. I have been so so very bad. I will ignore how good he makes me feel. Really! I hear that condescending and cynical tone resounding as though I have a headset on telling me that I'm not telling me the truth. Yes I am going to be good to him one last time and then to myself by leaving him alone if he doesn’t want God to bless our love. Or, is it just my love? How could he love me like that and feel nothing? How could he be with or around me so long and not love me? Why would he be around me for so many years if he doesn’t love me? There are too many doubt here for this to be good love. I should know. Oh my God! Is that the phone ringing? Gotta go! And if it's him, I'm not going to answer. If I do answer, I wont let him come over nor will I meet him for a drink and lunch and whew! Nope, cause if I do that, I'll surely be bad while I’m feeling good. Our visit will turn into a conjugal voyage. A good one too, might I add, again and again. The best I’ve ever had. The only one that I want and will ever want loving me like that, forever. If I could have him forever plus some more days, I’d want those preciously sweetened days too. Ok, the phone stopped ringing now. Maybe it was Twelve. My heart and a few other organs have a convulsionary reaction going on that I care not to mention right now cause I’m trying to be good but I think you know where I’m coming from. Hell, just the mention of his name has my organs frenzical. I know, I know! ‘Frenzical is NOT a word. It is for now so just calm down. Remedy? What’s a remedy for that, I wonder? How can I tell me that he is no good for me when me can feel how good he is to me? I’ll just be feeding my own self a crock of crap if I even attempt to tell me that he isn’t good cause dang, it would be just a lie. What on earth has this man done to me? Jeeze! I sound like a horny teen with no sense of direction or comprehension that her teenaged boyfriend is NOT good for her. I have experienced this man for a very long time and if the relationship is not moving forward, I need to leave him alone, right? Right! So, stop acting like a silly young girl living in a fairy tale world and get real. Wrong! It’s not a fairy tale world, it simply surreal how this man makes me feel. Hold on a second. I’m going to Google ‘good’ and see what happens. Just wait! Ok. I heard me telling me the answer to that. The word good means that man that I’m speaking of, says my other inner mind that wont let me be good when he’s around. Ok, here goes……. The first site that came up after I keyed in ‘the origin of the word ‘good’ is this: http://www.wordorigins.org/errors.htm. I like the title and therefore have named my chapter a variation of it. While this site is not exactly what I was looking for, it has some pertain information and terminology that I can start with. Hmm, how ironic that one of the first examples of errors in etymology is the commonly used profane word, ‘fuck.’ This word, according to this site’s writer, the acronymic origin is ‘Fornication Under Consent of the King.’ How bout that? I was told a long while ago that it meant ‘Four Unknown Carnal Knowledge.’ Who knows? Lest I not get off the subject, however fitting that word is to my subject, ‘good.’ The two words are almost synonymous in their meaning, good and fuck = good fuck. Yes, that’s the origin of the problem in a nutshell. Maybe I have my answer and can answer my phone now? Ok, back to my ‘good’ topic, again. I haven’t successfully found the word ‘good’ without its partner, evil. I was rerouted, although, to this site: http://www.geocities.com/therapeuter/originofevil.html This is where the synonymous terms are discussed in great depths. I like it so far. I guess it’s giving me what I need here. So far its saying that bad and evil are easy which makes good hard to achieve therefore good is hard to achieve therefore hard to get is good. Hmm. I cant seem to have him all of the time like I want so therefore he is good cause he’s hard to get? Or, am I simply embodying this with my own terminology in order to keep the ‘good’ feeling? Who am I fooling? YES! That’s exactly what I’m doing here. Let alone the fact that sex with any other man has never been that good therefore that is hard to find and hard is good. Yes. It sure is. |
| Now where is my prize? Is it that I need to wait a little longer? How long is long enough? Twelve inches, ooops, I meant 12 months? Yeah, I know you think that was a 'bad' slip. I'm only human, right? Humans do slip. It's what they slip in or what they slip on that's the problem with good is absent. Where is the day that I wont feel sad about my thoughts? When will I just be able to call Twelve up, tell him what I want, need and how I want it without this guilt of fornication? How unfair. I am only human. I guess the urge to splurge and slip aint going nowhere no time too soon. Anticipation of elation is lurking in my carnal situation. Haha. That's really not funny either. What's driving this feeling that feels so good if it is so bad? I hate to think that all of those times I thought that I was being good were times I was really being bad. Good is giving me big problems today. I must revisit the origins of 'good' a few more times before any elucidation can really settle in my stubborn mind. I don't want to be good if loving Twelve is wrong. Well, 'loving' has a dual meaning in this instance, of course. But I do love him, right? Or, did I get it confused? Back to the drawing board of the origin of good. |
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