StrangeDay in my Life

Main and only character in this is myself. This is about a particular day in my life, date is also mentioned. This is my first narration. plz tell me how is it.

Strange Day in my Life [14th, Oct 2009]
Krishna Kanth
Today, I really felt so taken away, by unknown. I don’t know what that is. But it had made me feel very strange today. It might be because of my future, or of my past.
It was 3’o clock in the afternoon. Until then I was doing mathematics bits (Data Interpretation). I’ve done it for some time, but then I’m not getting the answer of a particular bit. I’ve tried for much time, but invain. I’m not getting the answer and I’m not even nearing to it. And then the power went off.
Frustration started in me.. no power.. body full of sweat.. no coolness in air... and still no answer.
Then I stood and moved my chair to another room and I’m again trying the solution for the bit, the harder I tried to solve it the tougher it went.
I stopped solving and I moved on to next bit, it too didn’t come easy, then I placed the books aside and i went to bed room and i lied on bed. Frustration is increasing.. increasing..increasing.. racing itself to peak. To speed it up my mind is processing the bits which I’m unable to solve, and so, my confidence about solving the bits well was getting lower and lower by every second of time.
Then it happended.. frustration conquered my mind and control over my senses.
I took the pillow into my hands and casted it away with force on to floor. And again the same with the second one. I was feeling anger on everything around me. I removed off the bed sheet and throwed onto floor. I throwed all the clothes away that were on the bed. I was shouting with pain and disgust. I jumped to floor and hitting my hands to the doors of the cupboard.
I fell on the floor. My mind was showing me the thoughts which I’ve done these 3 years since I’ve took up my higher studies. In other way, the period which I’ve wasted without accomplishing anything.
These 3 years, the time in my life which i’ve made a great mistake by loving her. Yes, loving. I loved her. We both loved eachother sincerely since I’ve started my educational journey 3 years ago.. all these 3 years I’ve kept on enjoying her love without giving a thought about my education and career. I believed that everything will be in my favour in future, and so I always enjoyed. Even then, I studied well, but not in a way which I should be doing. I thought that my effort in education which I’ve kept will be enough to get me a seat in which ever university I want in the country. I seriously misunderstood the magic of Time and Thought.
And today, I’m paying for it. Nothing in the past was as I imagined or I wished.
I failed in everything.. in love, in education and in Life.
Now I’m left with tenebrous future. No idea whether I can do well in entrance tests or not, no idea what to do later my graduation, no idea of anything coming.. nothing… nothing………. And when I was in that situation of fear of my future, then I heard the most scariest sound of my life, the ticking of clock.
The clock, was laughing at me about my past, about my plans three years ago, about my management of time all these three years, about loosing love and time to build up my career, about my desires of my future to become good than ever before.. that clock’s laugh was sounding as ticking. On hearing to that sound, I regretted as never before, about my past mistake of love and carelessness about my career and time. Tears started to fall from my eyes. I’m going myself out of control, I’m scared about what may happen to my career. The more I thought about my past the more I regretted of how it would have been, if I only had used these 3 years of time correctly. I would not have missed the seat in SIBM, Pune, I would not have missed the seat in IIMs.
This feeling of regret was quickly turning into scare of future, and I’m breaking into tears myself. I fell on the floor crying, because of my past, as never before.
The time was 3.30pm. I wept and wept and wept…
I closed my tearful eyes and started praying to god, to make this stop. To make me brave. And to show me light.
Crying with disgrace, with shame, with regret, and with pain…
Praying for some time, and then I opened my eyes, and never as before in my life, I saw a green coloured outline of my hand infront of my very eyes. The outline was really green in colour and my eyes were with tears and my heart was in hope of god’s help. This greenness continued for a while, until I had tears in my eyes.
And then, I again closed my eyes and tears were stopped, and on opening my eyes, green colour vanished, it disappeared along with my tears.
Yes, this green colour outline around my hand is God’s signal to me to carry on with my future happily. And so my tears were stopped surprisingly.
And then I sat right up and said out “God had signalled me with green,” and on saying this, I fell onto floor again. Without feeling anything I slowly closed my eyes. I was being transported to some where.
I was feeling nothing, no light, no darkness, no sound, no thought, no floor, no air, no pain and I was not even realising if I’m breating, and i’m feeling as I was never born.
This went on, but I’m not having any feel yet.
And then I heard a sound, getting high very soon. ‘The phone,’ I stood up instantly. It was my friend calling my landline. And i spoke to him and the call ended. I looked at the clock which scared me before, the time was 4pm, but it wasn’t scaring me anymore.
I moved slowly to kitchen, wondering where I was for this half-an-hour. I reached a tap and turned it on to flush my face, and then I looked at the green backgrounded picture of the God, he seemed looking at me with a smile.
And then I understood, where I was, in that half-an-hour before….
“ I was with Him.”