Moby's Dick

Zac & Jessie Presents

"The Greatest Fucking Adventure since like........driving those homosexual people out of the neighborhood.(NOT GAY) "

As read by Morgan Freeman

Shen 1:

Zac monologing" its has been six months since the rainbow wars. which is what we called it when we kicked those fucking queers out of our neighborhood. ive never seen so much lube and dead bodies in my whole life. i imagined its what it would be like in Kevin Spaceys basement. Except a lot gayer. I actually remember that time in Tijuana with that donkey.......wait no i am getting side tracked. where was i....ohh yeah the queers. Thems was hard times. Hard times indeed. I mean didn't they have their own problems? With the AIDS and all. But i guess i had to do wat needed to be done. So i kissed my wife and kid good bye. I must have been high or something. Because i live alone. None the less. I had a duty. NAY! AN OBLIGATION TO MY COMMUNITY! What it was i wasnt sure. But damn it i was going to fucking do it! And get some dip and dots along the way. But the vendor was gay. I could tell by the way he looked at me. And I was reminded of the fact that gays were just like illegal immigrants. The were taking our jobs. So i took the plastic fork and stabed him in the throat. He screamed something about Jesus and I said ,'Its a little late to be talking to J.C. homo. Hes got my back on this one'. Then a woman and child rushed to his side and i realized that they were the ones i had previously kissed. The child screamed 'daddy' so i fled the scene. Later on the news they had turned out to be the fags wife and kid. It became apparent of their devious plot. PRETEND TO STRAIGHT BE TO SNEEK INTO OUR FUCKING NEIGHBOORHOOD!!!! No one could be trusted. I decided to kill everyone in the neighborhood to be safe. The possible fagets, the wifes for giving cover to them, and the kids so my children wont have to deal with the homosexual agenda when they are old enough to fight in this war when they turn 4 years old. Again thats the weed, i live alone. After figuiring out it was all in my head being the smart feller i am, i descided to do it civily. I took my case to court after figuiring out they have rights. i descided before killing them i would watch all the csi i could to prevent arrestification. And then the second cumming happened and jesus came and i won the court case.

Jessie : wait.......i dont believe this at all Zac have you been drinking?

Zac : hehhe ha no......i did a little crack.

Jessie: wait no did i ever tell you about that time in Tijuana with Morgan Freeman? ok before anything booze was involved.and it was his birthday so something had to go to hell. what started out as simple shots umong friend turn into one night at the donkey show.

Announcer at donkey show: Can we get a volunteer?

Morgan: (drunk) right here!

Jessie: Morgan your my broham we will do this together,

Jessie: (in modern day again) well not to go into much detail (rubs sore on lip) but you can say where better friends than we ever where. we even bought the donkey which we later realize does not run on love and slowly starved to death. and then morgan freeman got naked on all fours and i jumped on his back and rode into the sunset.

Zac: can we go back to my story so i can kill your faggot ass?