Keep Your Head Up

Duly Note Please: You are loved. If your going through something like this, I love you so much!! Keep your head up, keep your heart strong and stay alive.

Ending Conclusion: It's not where you are, what your doing, what your degree is, what you've accomplished.. It's who your with. Nothing compares to worthy companionship, it makes one's world a hundred million time's better. We are social creatures by nature. I'll always remember this conclusion. Forever sketched in my brain for "future reference".

Okay. Jumping into this saga.

A winter or two ago, and a spring or two awhile back.. I experienced some preddy dark things. Now, this story could be completely fictional. It may resonate with you, or speak to someone, so I'll write a bit no matter the contents concreteness in reality or lack there of.

When Society doesn't want you..
And your social network or any social network you come in contact with, begin to say how awful you are, and how worthless; others will begin to pick up on this as if it's some hipster trend. Others will begin to feel the same way. It's just how it happens. It doesnt even have to have enough truth in it to hold a drop of water. It'll spread like a disease, and sooner than later, when everyone has discarded you as a human, you'll be questioning your own worth. It's very much like a sickness. You'll not find anyone who thinks your not discusting, it will be hard to think of times when they didn't. Your family relationships will either strenghthen or dissolve with no apparent reason, but the social pressure. Lest they be targeted too. Deep down inside this will force you to search for something to hold onto. Maybe a friend, maybe a philosophy, maybe a pet, but pet's die.. So then stricken with grief and paranoid that everyone is wearing masks veiling their true intentions of dismissal and disapproval, disappointment ~discust, whichever the case it'll be next, (still giving every person a chance to show their true colors)
You'll feel more alone than you've ever felt or imagined in your entire life. You'll wish you were a kid again, where people cared and loved freely without reservation, laughed.. You'll question your very purpose ~existence and meaning, and life ~almost every single night. You'll long for friendship or connections with others, companionship, it won't be possible. The more you date the more you chase it, more more it unfailingly alienates you. It won't be possible. So stop focusing on the slow starvation of your human spirit. You'll seek old lovers but you remember you only had one. He cut you out like everyone else. You'll feel like a joke. You'll have to find solace elsewhere before the thought of living this way becomes too unbearable.. You turn to the lord.. Your called a freak. And the personal shots by those who mean the world to you will not be spared. It goes on this way for who can tell how long. You have a terrible trouble imagining a life you'd be happy or even ok in. It doesnt seem possible without the love of those you care for most. You'd never imagined a life completely empty of those you've known your whole life. It seems impossible to create a life from scratch to where somehow you fix everything without losing someone, or everyone unjustly. It has to be possible or else you might as well quit life now.
You refuse to accept what they tell you.
You refuse to settle for this dark mundane view,
there has to be a way to make life not suck so much.
You'll find it.
You have to.
Your just a stray! It's not a bad thing at all you realize! Your just ahead of the curve. Or out of the traditional scene. without a label, or box to fit into neatly, you find you posses more freedom than those globe trotters.
A deviant no one wants. Except your mother. :) (thanks mom)
So stop feeling so alone.
Reality is pretty grim, but that doesnt have to be forever.
Please smile, don't lose hope.
Your better than apple pie.
Promise me you'll be strong in your weak moments.
You won't trade your beliefs or curiosity for that cookie cutter stereotypical view every other person just accepts.
Don't believe the lies they try to sell you.
Please keep your heart open to love, keep strong, keep going on.
Set the world on fire, dream big dreams, go after them!
It's a shot in the dark, but it burns so brightly you'll probably end up being the light others need (if that makes any sense.)
Your something else, your better than what they print in magazines.
Everyone seems drunk on it, this thing they keep chasing, breathing it, drinking it, chasing it, living it out. With no legit joy or happyness being derived from it.
It feeds off of them as they feed off of it. Such a vicious system.
While looking through the crowds, everyone rushing by for their morning commute,
I know, that because of where I stand, outside in some parallel, I'll be able to see another divergent. So if and when I happen a chance to meet you, whoever you are, it'll be more clear than this crisp blue chilly fall evening. we'll be so obvious to each other.. Time is arbitrary~when the time is right, maybe in a coffee shop, or waiting for a train, however we meet, I cannot wait for that day. Can't help but wonder, do you drink adventure? Do you breathe rebellion just as passionately as I do? Will we conquer the world together? Do you consume knowledge for breakfast? I hope whoever you are that you have a relentless sense of constant humor. You've got it so bad, the government wants to try weird serums to cure you, but you can't be cured. Your itch for the truth is permenant. Maybe nobody ever gave you a second glance but you've been fondly observing people and life that's buzzing about you for years, in sheer wonderment. . Maybe your at a soup kitchen or working in alternative careers, like NGO maybe your an investigative journalist, maybe your fearless, maybe your everything I've ever hoped for and then some. Maybe your kind, and thoughtful, I hope you like to talk alot. about everything, sometimes through the night. I hope you talk alot. wish we'd meet sooner than what probably really is. but, i know, after all of life's shaping adventures, everything I've become and will be - will build someone that will be adored, romanced and loved completely- in other words your worth the wait, and I'll see you when I see you. I just hyper sometimes thinking about coffee.