Enter a world where dragons and computers are essential parts of everyday life. |
[Introduction] Welcome to Armakii! This exclusive club caters only to the rich, the famous, the exotic, and the unique. Grab your seat while you can; the show's about to start! Requirements for admission: A laptop -- Dragons Welcome Please mind your manners (no spouting flame or eating other patrons, mind) and keep the talk down to a dull roar. Thank you for coming . . And now, our host, Iatakei . . . ! Thank you, thank you, Ladies, Gentlemen, Dragons, and everyone. I welcome you to Armakii's Grand Opening! First up this evening is an eighteen-course dinner with our house special for dessert. Next, the floor will be open and I highly recommend setting aside those laptops and joining in on the fun! And here's the lovely, dragonet vocal prodigy, Jzabeth, to begin the entertainment . . . . |
Oh, good, I thought, letting the maitre'd take my coat, I haven't missed anything.
"Your table is right this way, ma'am." "Yes, I'm waiting for someone?" He bobbed his head in agreement, "Yes, yes, we here at Club Armakii are quite aware of the accomodations. Please, please, right this way." I followed him as he babbled on about how great the table was and in such a fine location and how worried they had all been that no one would show and that such a lovely table would go unused . . . Blah, blah, blah. I tuned him out, too fascinated by the awesome and fantastic company I found myself surrounded in. There, just to my right, three dragons sat, their eyes glued to the dragonet on stage, all ears pointed in that direction. Just beyond them, a herd of six unicorns was busily munching on appetizers. Next to them, two giants in business suits stuffed their faces while a third punched noisily at his laptop. I wended my wave through tables and tables of creatures I'd never thought to see all in one place before. There were elves and sprites, nymphs, and trolls; mermaids, and satyrs, dwarves, and was that R2D2 over there? "Here, here," whispered the maitre'd, tugging on my arm. I slid into the offered chair, immediately plugging in my laptop. The site for stories.com popped up almost instantly, the connection was so great. I sighed with relief at the replies in my mailbox. So I wouldn't be sitting alone, after all. "What can I get you to drink this evening, Ma'am?" I jumped, glancing in each direction before locating my waitress. She was a tiny thing, no bigger than Tinkerbell. Wait a second! She is Tinkerbell. She grinned as if she'd heard the unspoken question many, many times. "It's only a part-time gig," she laughed. "Really, those Lost Boys can be quite taxing on a poor girl's nerves!" I laughed, and told her I'd like a hot, apple cider. "It's awfully cold right now where I come from," I told her in response to her curious look. She replied, "No problem, we serve any beverage you could think of, up to, and including, Romulan Ale." "Really? Does anyone drink it?" "Of course! Check out upstage left." With that she left, leaving me to stare at the Romulans sitting only a few tables away. But, interruptions being the thing of the day, my cell phone rang and, flushing bright red from all the stares, I said, "Hello? Oh, hi, Tracy! Yeah, I made it okay. The roads were terrible, though . . . No, I don't know when I'll be home . . . Walk Mischief for me, okay? Okay, bye . . . Love you, too." I hastily turned off the phone, stuffing it back into my purse and under the table. By now appetizers had arrived and my stomach was growling ferociously. I sipped cautiously at the cider and listened to Jzabeth's the breath-taking melodies, wondering who would be the first to arrive. |
Umm......Am I in the right place? Maybe she meant to take a left at the light and go to Dragons.net.
Hmm...For that matter, am I even on the right planet? Those look like Star Wars aliens over there, and good God, that's the Genie from Aladdin doing tricks for people in that corner back there. Maybe someone here can help me out. Let's see...Who probably speaks Engl--Oof! "Oh, excuse me! I'm sorry!" That's a really big guy I bumped into here. Really big. Oh, that's why he's so big. He's a klingon. He's a ticked-off klingon who's been drinking. And at that, he's a very intimidating, ticked-off, drinking klingon. "Sorry?" He's lifting me up a good few feet off the ground. "You will have to be more than sorry, little human." I'd yell for help...if I could breathe...which is kind of an issue at the moment... |
Suddenly a surprised look came across the Klingon's face and after dropping the stranger collapsed. Reamie rubbed her hand, "Maybe I should've hit him with a lamp instead...? Oh, hi. I'm Reamie and I'm a dragon hunter. Have you seen - oh, no she's over there. Bye." Reamie headed off towards KC. |
Laenjia walked out of the kitchen, quickly joining a group walking away. She had snuck in, they tended to frown on homeless dragons coming in. What could she say? Being a thief was to damn fun! She stood by a table for a moment, looking like she was looking for someone. When the person sitting at the table got up Laenjia quickly took his laptop and tucked it under her arm. Her pitch black scales were perfact moving through this place. She loved being a blackdragon, it helped when being a thief. |
“Can I help you?”
“Wha… Oh sorry.” I stuttered. How could I tell the maitre’d that I hadn’t booked. I spied a large table that only had a few people seated. “Um. I’m with that group.” I replied. “Very well Madam, follow me.” I threaded my way through the packed club, nodding to the herd of unicorns as I passed them. Look! There’s Darth Vader with a group of bikini clad girls hanging off his every asthmatic word. Why the girls go for him, I don’t know. “Here you are.” Said the maitre’d, gesturing to an empty seat. “Thank you.” The others stared at me while the maitre’d rushed off to settle a rowdy group of Klingons surrounding one of their friends who had apparently passed out. “Ah hi! I’m Mayeve. May I sit here?” Nobody said anything. I guess they have never seen a girl with a unicorn’s horn before. |
"Hi, Mayeve, I'm KC," I said, extending my hand.
She shook my hand, blushing a little and I told her to try some of the appetizers. While she was thus preoccupied, I pulled up my list of expected guests. Hmmmmmm, I thought. Oh, well, the more, the merrier. Reamie laughed at something Kent said and I looked that way, but the moment had passed. Turning my head, I thought I caught sight of a black dragon trying to walk non-chalantly past the bar. But, when I looked, I saw no one there. Hmmm, I thought rubbing my head, I think I've had too much cider . . . Or perhaps it's just fallout from dragon singing! Truely, what I had at first been delighted in, the dragonet Jzabeth's song, had turned into first amazement (that she could go on for so long) to horror (that she hadn't yet stopped!). My ears were beginning to ring and my eyes felt like they would pop out of their sockets by the sheer volume (not to mention range) that the singer achieved. "I wonder if this is ever going to end?" I asked no one in particular. "What?" Kent asked. "I wonder if this is ever going to end?" I repeated. "WHAT?" Reamie and Kent shouted together. "I wonder if this is ever going to . . . !" I shouted, breaking off in the middle as I realized 1: that it had indeed stopped, and 2: everyone was staring, the dragons murderously so. I sank down in my chair wishing I could just disappear. Somehow I managed to wave to Tinkerbell, who filled up my glass. Gulping it down, I barely caught the last words of the host, introducing the next in entertainment: ". . . his world's leading commedian. Let's give a big hand to Uiaiangle." I glanced over at Myeve. What's next? I thought. |
If he’s his world’s leading comedian, then I certainly don’t ever want to be on his world. I’d probably die of boredom after two seconds.
Kind of feel sorry for the guy, though. He’s dying up there. Hasn’t gotten a single laugh yet. “--And then these two guys...They walk into a bar! Into a bar! Get it? Cause, you see, the bar--” This is becoming torturous. He needs help. Lots of help. Maybe I--Naw...I couldn’t...Well... “Excuse me a moment, folks,” I tell everyone. I don’t know why I’m doing this. Actually, I do know why I’m doing this. I’m trying to spare myself some more agony. The comedian doesn’t look too pleased to see me climb up onto the stage. “What--? What’re you doing? You’re ruining my act!” “Uia--Uiaiaia--Uinagle--Uuu--Whatever your name is,” I proclaim, “I challenge you to a duel!” “A duel?” “A duel of wits, so to speak!” Man, I’m being corny... “So, Uui--Uu--So, you, do you have the courage to face me?" |
I bury my head in my hands. I had never seen such a dire performance in my life.
"You." Damn. I turn to see a group of Blue Circle dragons. You know, the extremely aggressive ones that kill first, kill some more and then when there's nothing left to kill mutilate the bodies before finally telling you where you last met. "Hi. Go away." I turned my attention back the begining of Kent and Uiaiangle's duel. Luckily it hadn't started yet. "We don't like slayers." "I'm not a slayer." I say distractedly "We know of you, Hunter Reamie." "Ever hear of a Dragyn Watchyr?" "No." "Precisely." "I don't see your point." Says an easily baffled leader. "I'm a fanatic, not a murder-" Shouts and cheers break out. I'm missing the performance! I ignore the dragons rather pointedly. They still don't get the idea, so I swing out of my seat and hit the leader over the head with it. "I don't kill dragons." I hit him with the chair one final time for good measure. The leg breaks off so I opt to sit on the table to watch the comedy act. The dragons look at their fallen comrade and leave him there. They return to their posistion a bouncers. "Honestly, you'd think we were in a lair or something." |
Laenjia saw the small fight and had to smile, stupid bouncers.
A heavy hand fell on her shoulder and Laenjia turned to see a very big red dragon. "Laenjia," the dragons growled, "You tricked me, I spent seven years in jail because of you." "Well, shows how much you know for trusting a black dragon," she said then ducked under his hand then ran toward the people she had been watching. She quickly slid under the table. "What are you doing?!" one of the people asked, looking down at her. "Hiding from an old...dude I know. I'm not here, okay?" |
Well, this is certainly interesting, I thought and shifted my legs so that the black dragon under the table could have more room.
I guessed that KC, the one who introduced herself, was the organizer of this table. It looked to be an interesting night with the various humans and creatures gathered. I turned to watch the duel on stage. I think Kent was gaining the upper hand. Uiaiangle was starting to turn an awful shade of red and was hard to understand, spluttering as he was. I absently rubbed my horn. It was tingling, indicating that someone was using magic close by. I tried to ignore it, but the feeling persisted. CRASH |
"Let me go! I have a right to go in!"
The dragon bouncers block a young man's path. "Sorry. No laptop, no service. Now scram." The man laughs. "Fine..." The man pulls a laptop out of thin air. The dragon's continue to bar the way. "You don't want to make me force my way in, do you? ~The dragons laugh~ Fine." The man opens up the laptop, and ballances it in one hand, as a mage would with his spell book. He then types in some characters, calling up a program. Fire.bal. A huge fireball flies out of a logo on the backside of the laptop. The dragons dodge out of the way. The fireball continues until it flies over the dueling comideans. It explodes into a beautiful display of fireworks. The man then walks past the two dragons, and hands a green coat to the coatchecker. He then closes his laptop, and is escorted to his own table, marked with the same logo: a backwards "R" bumped up against a "B". |
As the blast of fireworks goes off overhead, chaos erupted in the club:
"Aieeee!" screams Uiaiangle, and dashes off stage . . . Kent hits the floor, covering his head (and the microphone) . . . The black dragon shoots out from under the table, knocking over the somewhat nauseated unicorn and spilling the soup and drinks into Reamie's lap . . . Reamie bursts to her feet, grabs the nearest water pitcher and hurls it at Laenjia . . . The pitcher misses, dousing the family of pikachus at an adjacent table . . . The electric rodents turn up the voltage, shocking everyone for good measure, making the lights flicker . . . And the poor maitre'd faints dead away. And that was it for the electricity in this place! One lightbulb explodes, and the rest follow suite. And suddenly, the club is filled with dark silence. "Whoo--hoo!" shouts someone . . . And just as suddenly, everyone is on their feet cheering and clapping. Even the Klingons are cheering (well, uh, there version, anyway)! A collection of fire-breathing critters light the candles brought out by the staff and Kent stands up, a trifle hestitantly, and says, "Well, I guess I won that one!" The club roars with laughter and Kent is awarded with cheers and clapping as he departs the stage. He sits and downs all his drink in one long chug. "More! More!" shouts someone, the chant taken up by the rest of the customers. Someone by this time has revived the maitre'd and a host of waiters and waitresses start serving the main course. Iatakei takes the stage. She looks a little frazzled, not to mention singed, but speaks clearly over the noisy crowd: "Thank you, thank you! Club Armakii is delighted that you have enjoyed our show. Now, please, enjoy the first course in our dinner this evening, as the Endosian Fly quartet brings you Cowpatty Delight." Complete and utter silence. There's a muffled cough from a corner of the room. I stare, horrified, at the disheveled members of my table: Kent, Reamie, Mayeve, Laenjia, Kat, and now our magician, Joe. NOW WHAT?? |
Well, that was fun. Aside from that little fireworks show.
"So...How's it going..." Huh? "...everyone...?" That's a kat...That's a black dragon...There's something odd about that guy there... And I fit into this bunch...how? Guess every group needs its straight guy. But what the hell have I gotten into? Maybe it's not too late to sneak out. "...Um...excuse me, folks, but I've gotta, uh, use the restroom. I'll be right back." Must find exit...Must find exit...Must get out of this madhouse...Must get the hell out of here... Oh, crap... |
Reamie stared forlornly at her laptop, "Damn. And I actually paid for that one..." She could feel someone giving her an odd look, but it didn't matter.
"I think I backed it all up..." |
Laenjia looked around, that dragon that wanted her dead was out of sight. She snaked up onto one of the seats and grinned at everyone.
"So sorry 'bout that. Everyone gots a past, mine just happens to still live 'round these parts." She quickly ordered a drink and sipped it, avoiding having to intoduce herself. "How are you going to pay that?" The dragon watcher asked. Laenjia gave her a lok of mock shock. "Who said I was paying?" |
Whirling upside down through the air, trying to right himself, he came sailing through the door and landed on the lobby table before the startled maitre with a distinctly resounding THUMP.
She stared down at him in shock, then quickly straightened her dress and tried to put on a straight face. She looked around him, clearly searching for someone, until he forced her to pay attention. "Hello! Did it pass your notice that I landed here before you?!?" She glanced down at him, speechless. "You... you..." He sighed. "I... I..." he mocked. "Come on, I'm sure you have a better vocabulary than that!" She stood up a little straighter. He saw that the bouncers, two large and distinctly threatening looking dragons, were eyeing him sideways as if he were some odd creature that they had never seen. "Where is your... um... your owner?" "My owner? I don't have an owner! I'm late. Will you please show me where everybody it?" "I... no... you can't go in." "The requirement for entering this club is that one must have a laptop. What seems to be the problem." She stared at him. "Sir, you are a laptop." The face on his screensaver grinned. "Yes. I suppose I am. But no doubt the strangest computer you've ever seen." "Well, I wouldn't be sure about that..." "Oh? How many other flying, talking, flame throwing, mage laptops have you seen in your lifetime?" She perked up a little. "Well, there was a mage earlier... his laptop knew magic." He rolled his eyes. "That's different. He was the mage, not his laptop- he was the one who knew the spells; his machine only stored them for him. I, on the other hand, am both a mage and a laptop. Now, will you please show me to my party?" She nodded, clearly still flabergasted. "Right this way... sir." He fluttered his irridescent, metalic wings, and fluttered silently behind her. |
The Endosian Fly quartet, was, apparently, the host's try at a joke and what actually took the stage next was an old-time rock and roll band, which actually sort of reminded me of Elvis. Nonetheless, they were rather good, at least, I hoped so.
As the band took itself off stage and the servers brought out the second course, I thought I heard a familiar bark. But clapping drowned out the sound as one of the greek tragedies, 'revised,' started on stage. The Klingons had their own version and I tried to concentrate on my plate, but the, ahem, 'special effects' kept interrupting me. It's hard to eat when fake bits and pieces of people keeps landing on you or your plate. Kent had rejoined us, but he was looking rather pale . . or was that green? Next to him, Reamie was laughing along with the show. At the far end of the table, one of our newest arrivals, Angel, I think, yelled something, and leaped right onto the stage, weilding her sword like someone possessed. Oh, boy, this is getting predictable! Joe, seated closest to the stage smiled and laughed at us from within his forcefield and the unicorn next to him snuggled even closer, using him as a shield. To my left, Kat shrieked as another bloody 'bit' landed in her drink and Laenjia took refuge back under the table. I tried to keep up a decent conversation with Mayeve, to my right, but it was difficult over the ruckus on stage. Then all of a sudden, a wet dog nose was up in my face, licking me. "Augh!" I yelled, or tried to, and pushed the big, red, hairy beast off me. I stared at her in astonishment. "Mischief! How'd you get here?" Not being able to talk, she of course just looks totally innocently up at me with her big, sad, puppydog eyes, panting furiously enough to dryclean my leg and trying to climb into my lap. "Surprise!" and another hairy kiss lands on my other cheek. I whirl around and leap from my seat to give my fiance a hug. "Tracy!" I squeal in delight, then I frown, a little suspiciously. "What are you doing here?" "Got bored," he answered, waving to my table, where everyone was now staring at us. "Mischief and I thought we'd come see what you've been up to all night. What course is this? It looks delightful. Steak and potatoes, my favorite combination! I'll just pull up a chair, whoops, 'scuse me, and introduce myself. Hi! I'm Tracy!" Mayeve glanced at me as she scooted over to make room between us. I shrugged and grinned and blushed, all simultaneously. "All right! Yeah!" Tracy shouts a moment later. He turns to me. "This is even better than Blade!" "Which one?" I ask weakly. But the addition of another male at the table has heartened Joe and Kent and they both perk up and begin shouting comments to each other across the table. Tinkerbell plops another place setting, drink and meal before Tracy and Mischief crawls under my chair, growling ferociously at anyone who comes too near. I'm not sure what to say, so I just try to eat, wondering if I should go hide in the powder room for a while . . . . |
Somebody shoot me. Please. Pretty please? Maybe I can politely excuse myself and go back home...Let's see...What excuses can I use? I just remembered that my dog has an appointment at the vet? Nah, I don't have a dog...Oh, maybe I have a doctor's appointment...No, doctors' offices would all be closed by now...The world is in grave peril and I'm the only one who can save it? Hmm...Don't think they'd buy that one... ...Now who is that lovely young lady over there? She actually looks normal... "Excuse me again, folks..." I'm starting to feel like a yo-yo...Up and down and up and down and up and down...Hope they don't think I'm being rude. There's the girl. That is one great body there, and the glimpse I got of her face--gorgeous! I'll just mosey on over...and accidentally bump into her... "Oh! Excuse me! I'm so sor--" She has fangs. Crap. "Oh, no problem. Hey! Aren't you the comedian who challenged that other comedian?" "Uh, yeah..." Got to get away... "You were soooo funny. What was your name again?" A vampire is coming on to me...Help... |
Reamie frowned with disapproval. The Klingon act was gettin too repetitive. They needed more variety. She glanced around and spotted Kent being hit on by a vampyr. She smiled crookedly and looked around a bit more. The table was getting a little crowded for her liking. Maybe she should step outside a sec, it was getting a hot too. Reamie rose from the table, "Excuse me, I'll be back in a minute." Walking across the room, she began to feel a bit dizzy. The dragyn watchyr collapsed half way to the door. |
"Hey...you alright?" Reamie opened her eyes to see a worried face hovering above hers. It was a human face. The face of a youngg irl, with greay eyes framed by silvery-white hair. She sat up. "Oh my gods!" yelled someone, "There a normal person over with the Dragyn Watcher!" "You're normal?" KC came over with ehr invite list. "...oh, it's you Phoenix." "But she's like...totally human!" "Please," murmured Phoenix, "Where are the other Demi's?" "Demi's? Hiding in the shadows." "Why do you want to hang out with a load on mangy half-breeds?" asked Reamie. "Mangy...?" Phoenix turned on the woman...wolfing out. "Excuse me, but I'm a Demi-moon-born! A half werewolf!" Phoe unsheathed Reamie's cleverly concealed sword, and shattered it with ease. "You can't talk. Don't you ever look in the mirror?" "Now, now ladies..." began someone, but Phoenix had already retreated the the comfort of the carnivourous bar for a quick snack...maybe a few humans... |
Laenjia sat back onto the seat and loked around. "Demi huh? don't see many of those. She should get some anger managment... Or something..." |
Oh boy! How does KC keep up with all of these people? Mayeve thought as she surveyed the chaos surrounding her. Giving up on trying to hold a conversation with Tracy, Mayeve turned back to the stage where Angel had been hustled off by the bouncers and the Klingons were being replaced by a Gorgon dressed as a magician. KC returned to the table leading Reamie to a chair. As the dragyn watchyr slumped in her seat, Mayeve motioned to Tinkerbell. "Yes?" the fairy asked. "Could you please get a revivall for the faint lady and a soda for me thanks." Tinkerbell flew off with spay of fairy dust and Mayeve went back to watching the stage. |
Finally! The Klingon thing was over. I rubbed my acheing head, leaning back in my chair in relief. Since it was now almost 1 AM, a lot of the patrons were leaving, even though coffee, tea, and desserts were just now being served. I waved goodbye to some of my new friends and settled back to enjoy some of the sootheing poetry from a young, Georgian woman. I love poetry; too bad I'm so horrible at it. "So what'll it be?" asked Tinkerbell, flitting up to our table. "I'll have some cheesecake," I told her, "and whatever everyone else has can go on my bill, too." "Okay," she replied, looking up hopefully at the remaining members of the table. "Oh, and I'd like a bone for Mischief, here." |
Reamie sat and wondered what the hell was wrong with her. Maybe she'd zapped out of power? "Ah, well. I'll go get some ice-" Reamie raised herself from the chair, only to fall on the floor again, "... I'll just stay here then." |
"Whoa-oah, there, Reamie," I said, helping her back in her chair. "Are you all right?" She smiled, a little faintly, "I've no idea." "Perhaps this'll help," Tracy said, pulling my laptop over in front of him. He typed in a few keys, then pressed <enter>. He stared at the Dragon-watchyr intently for a moment, making her squirm. "That better." Suddenly, the young woman sat up straight, then shook herself all over. "Wow!" she exclaimed, "I feel great!" Now she was the one to stare suspiciously. "What'd you do?" Tracy just grinned. "Hey, what can I say? I'm a computer wizard -- can't give away all my secrets." "What'd you say your name is?" "Tracy -- as in Dick." "Huh?" "Dick Tracy," I supplied. "Oh." She gave us a funny look, then went back to her multi-colored dessert. "OK." I smiled at Tracy, handing Mischief the bone, but for some reason she wasn't paying me (or the enticing snack) any attention. Instead, her entire focus was on Kat. One of my guests had been under the table most of the evening, and there she still was, (when I'd thought she'd left!) fast asleep. Mischief trembled under my hand, digging the carpet in her excitement. Uh-oh! Something in my dog's intent stare woke Kat and she blinked abuptly-not-sleepy-eyes-at-all at Mischief, not moving a muscle, except the very end of her tail, which twitched, ever-so-slightly, all on its own. "Uh," I started to say . . . . |
Whoops! Sorry guys, forgot to stick this in here: I'm going out of town for two weeks, so it's up to you to police yourselves. Try to have fun with this campfire -- express yourselves!! Take care, I'll be back soon. |
Too Late! Kat sprung out from under the table (apparently, she was not about to wait for the, ah-hem, Canine-ien to take action first) -- Mischief right behind. Kat clawed her way out and beyond as I dove under the table, knocking aside chairs and feet, vainly trying to grasp any portion of the red-haired, kat-chasing fiend currently trying to muscle her way under all the chairs and tables from here to stage left. Above the clatter of cuttlery, cursing patrons, tumbling chairs, and distressed servers, I heard a loud <GONG> from somewhere to the rear. The vibrations immediately gave me a headache and I was able to lunge forward and latch on to the tale of my mischievious pup as she, wolf-fashion, howled her misery. The disheveled hostess clambored onto the stage, announcing tiredly: "His Esteemed Eminence, Patron of the Arts, and Honored Critic, Signor Alegondro Cristof the Third." As one, every head turned back to the source of the gong. Behind the gang of bodyguards (who rather resembled a combination of Men in Black and Xmen) stepped . . . . |
. . . A rather short, pasty-faced, bald-headed man carrying a small square of posterboard. Silently, he climbed the stage and reached for the hostess' microphone. "I here and now declare this adventure closed. Thanks for attending. Have a good night." The house lights came back on with a flourish, dazzling after the dimness of the candles. Able to see clearly at last, I blinked .. rubbed dry, tired eyes .. rubbed my achy back, and kicked Mischief under my desk. "Asleep at the keyboard again, hmm?" I looked up to grin tiredly at Tracy. "Yeah, must have. How was work?" "Not bad. What's that you're writing?" I glance at the screen, covered with unintelligible words. "Oh, nothing," I say. From the expression on his face, I knew he didn't believe me, but he merely said, "Well, I'm going to shower, then I'm for bed. You?" "I'll be there in a minute." After he left, I shut everything down. And that morning, before I had to rise for work, I could swear I heard the sound of fairy wings and a small voice asking, "More cider, KC?" |
I have decided to end this campfire due to lack of interest. Perhaps we can all try again sometime. Thanks for playing along. The End! |