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Learn more about ES for the Getting to Know You contest. |
| [Introduction]
Think you know scherpenisse? Think again! Here you will learn things you never knew, things you never wanted to know, and things you never knew you wanted to know about scherpenisse.
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| Let's get started at the beginning. Describe your birth. Give us all the details you know (or can find out): date (including year), day of the week, the weather that day, time of day, whether it was a quick or long birth, if you were the oldest, middle, youngest, or only child, what your parents named you and why, and anything else about the event you're willing to share. |
| I think my birth was pretty much uncomplicated. It was a Thursday, February 8th, 1979. It had been a cold winter, but the day I was born the weather changed - as it has done ever since on my birthday. Just keep track, you'll see. It was around six PM that I was born, which I believe gives me Cancer as an ascendant. I was my parent's first child. My father immediately knew what to name me. I think it was the only thing he had left over from his Christian upbringing, even though he had reverted to an Atheist by conviction by that time: he loved the name Esther. That was the name he had always wanted to give his daughter, if he ever had one, which probably makes him one of the few men who actually think about that sort of thing before it happens. So that's what I was named. Up until this day, my mother gets a sentimental look in her eyes whenever the digital clock reads 22:22. "Whenever the clock reads this time, I always think of you," she says. "This is the exact time when, twenty-five years ago, I lay in bed looking at you and thought: I have a daughter." |
| That's beautiful. Now that we have an idea of where you came from, give us a little glimpse of who you've become. Describe a day in the life of ES; how do you usually spend your time? When do you get up? Go to bed? What do you do in between? |
| On a normal weekday, I get up at seven to go to work. I studied Journalism but, because of the economical situation, a lot of people have been losing their jobs - among which a fair number of journalists. That means the competition for a job in Journalism is fierce; one advertisement might draw three hundred applicants. With my limited experience - I only graduated a year ago - I am no match for people with twenty years of expertise behind them. So I go to work, which is not at a newspaper but at the community center, where I do light administrative work for the city´s archives. It pays less than a job in Journalism would, but it´s a living. I will probably be working there until December and so far, I have liked it - my colleagues are good people. When I come home - which is, blissfully, around three thirty PM - I start writing. I am working on a science fiction novel and I´ve written about sixty pages so far. I write until I have finished three pages, then I stop and usually make dinner or watch some TV, or both. I go to sleep around twelve and do the same thing all over again the next day. A normal day in my life is dull. There are some exceptions to the rule. Mondays I sing in a Gospel choir (called Benediction) and we have practice. There are a few concerts coming up, so we´re learning a lot of new songs. Every other Tuesday I have a meeting for the neighbourhood newspaper I am editor-in-chief of. I spend most weekends either at my mother´s or my father´s place, at the former usually spending afternoons walking or cycling, at the latter dodging balls my three-year-old half brother keeps throwing at me. |
| Thinking about your last answer, what would you do differently if you didn't have to worry about eating, sleeping, or money? Would you write more, travel more, spend more time with your family? What would your life ideally be like? |
| Ideally, if I had more money, I would quit my job and finish my novel. But first, I would spend a couple of months in the US. I´ve always wanted to go there. Ironically, my mother who loathes everything American (yeah, sorry about that) has been there four or five times, while I haven´t been there at all. I have been planning my ideal road trip through the US for maybe five years, ever since I got back from Israel. Fly to New York, visit Maine and take a hike up there, go down to Washington to visit the library which is supposed to be really big. Then, take a Greyhound to New Orleans, spend some time there with my family (distant relatives, but still) and rent a car to go up to Los Angeles and San Francisco. In SF I would spend a couple of weeks, because it´s supposed to be a really great city with warm weather throughout the year. Ah, sunshine. If I didn´t have to worry about anything, I would immediately buy an apartment in the center of town (in Holland, mind you) and go out a lot more. I would also take up sporting, for which I am now unwilling to spend any money, and do something in theater. I don´t know what. I would probably, if I had a LOT of money, start my own publishing house, focusing solely on science fiction, horror and fantasy by Dutch writers. Ah, dreams... |
| Since you've brought up the subject of the U.S., what are your favorite (and least favorite) things about Americans? Also, what are some misconceptions about the Netherlands that you would like to clear up? |
| Favourite and least favourite... I really couldn´t tell you. I have met only a few Americans, and while some of them were boring and completely self-centered, others were caring, charming and involved people. I can tell you what preconceptions I have about Americans, and you can tell me how wrong they are. For one, I dislike the fact that Americans apparently ask you to come over and call you ´friend´ after they´ve just met you, without being sincere. I loathe insincerity. Also, I don´t like that everything is about appearance in the US. Things I like are the vastness of the country (the idea that you could drive for three days straight and still be in the same country baffles me), the lust for life Americans always seem to have and, of course, the great movies. As for the Netherlands... I don´t really know of any real misconceptions regarding my country. It is said to be a country of tulips and clogs, but I hardly ever see a tulip or a clog, unless you go to the country - and even there, they´re scarce. We have coffee shops where you can legally smoke pot, but I hardly ever go, personally, and I don´t know of anyone who goes there more often than perhaps once a year, or less. In my opinion, it´s a place where chanceless losers gather. I´d rather not be part of that particular demographic group. I myself don´t get a kick out of smoking marihuana. It makes me sleepy and I can drowse just fine by myself. No, wait, there are two misconceptions that I am aware of and find rather annoying: that a)there is no more to Holland than Amsterdam, or b)that you can ´do´ Holland in a day. I wouldn´t presume I´d seen the US if I´d been in New York, or that I could ´do´ one of the US´s smaller states in a day. That concept is kind of lost on me. I´ve been in a lot of European countries and on a tour of Morocco, Israel and Egypt, but I don´t believe I know any of these countries very well. I can find my way around Jerusalem, sure... but do I know it? No. I´ve only been there. Just a little pet peeve of mine. |
| You have pointed out some of my own pet peeves about Americans. Now for a little self-description. When I talk to people via the Internet, I often form an image of them in my head without having any idea of what they look like. Sometime I even get their gender wrong! How would someone recognize you if they were meeting you in person? Describe your physical appearance, the type of clothes you commonly wear, and any jewelry or other easily identifiable attributes. |
| Let's just put me in a situation where it would be proper to describe me. Otherwise I would feel as if I'm reacting on an ad in a newspaper. Picture a bar, a typical Irish pub, the ones you can find all over the world. The dominating colours are brown and green. There are only a few people in the bar at this hour: it's about eleven in the evening. A group of people is sitting at a table in the far corner, quietly talking, occasionally bursting into laughter. Most are between twenty and twenty-five, as is the girl our eye falls on. We've seen her here before. Long, dark brown curls fall down her back and alongside her face and at times she casually brushes them away. Her face is oval, with brownish-green eyes that catch the light and change to yellow when they do. It's disturbing, but also a little fascinating. She is wearing black: a simple pants and shirt. She is the only one at the table that wears that much black. That is her predominant colour, her trademark, we can tell from our previous encounter. Whether it is because the black matches the darkness of her hair, or because she doesn't want to stand out, is hard to say. She smiles frequently but doesn't add much to the conversation. Instead, she seems content just to listen and watch. Which, we notice, she does a lot. She watches her companions, and sometimes, even if the conversation is on some other topic, we can see her drifting off to examine a smile or a look on one of their faces. At times, she laughs with the others and when she does, her whole face seems to light up and that dark look that is always there - one that is probably just her expressionless face - disappears. She should smile more, we find ourselves thinking. Her movements seem purposeful. Like her preference for listening instead of talking, her movements seem designed for whatever it is she is doing. They aren't graceful, per se - just very, very purposeful. Now the group is getting up. One of them, apparently the leader, is asking everyone where to go next and the girl gives a suggestion, which is easily picked up by the others. When she gets her coat, the bouncer looks her up and down and says goodbye. She smiles at him, but in that same far-off manner we have seen before. When she leaves the bar she seems to be bopping to a theme song in her head, one that only she can hear. |
| You, obviously, are a skilled writer. That was quite a vivid description, far beyond what I expected! Since you have given us a sample of your writing, let's move the conversation there. Describe your first interaction with Writing.com. How did you hear about it? What made you visit the site, and then why did you join? How did you first feel when you visited? Tell us all about what it was like to be a newbie and how you got comfortable here. |
| I first came here about two years ago. I had been on a Dutch writing site until that time, one which, admittedly, had more English writers on it than Dutch ones. Someone I knew on this site started complaining that the site didn't offer as many possibilities as Writing.com (Stories.com at that time), so I decided to check things out. At first, I was a little put off by the site's appearance. It seemed a needless maze of options and buttons to click - every time I clicked on a link, another new feature popped out that I didn't understand. So I joined up and left it at that, for the time being. I wasn't that good at writing short stories anyway, so I figured I might as well just hang around and try to look for something interesting. Soon enough, though, I had an idea for a story and decided to make an interactive out of it. To my surprise, a lot of people added chapters. That inspired me to finish a short story in English and put it on the site. I surprised myself again when I found I was actually pretty good at writing short stories. Until that time, I didn't have much practice in writing short stories. I had only written novels - four of them, getting better as I grew older. They had all been in Dutch. Somehow, the idea of writing a short story in Dutch had never occurred to me. I had only read short stories in English, never in Dutch (I don't know why). Because of that, writing them in English seemed more natural than writing them in Dutch. The words just seemed to come and when I found contests and writing prompts... well, there was no end to it. I joined up with a couple of groups, but somehow they all seemed to disband after only a short while. That made me leave the site for a few months. But her I am again. I guess I'm just hooked. |
| Do you have any published short stories or novels? On a related topic, what are your goals for being on Writing.com - improving your skills, getting to know other writer's, getting your work looked at, etc.? |
| I have published one short story and one poem, both when I was fourteen or so, in a children's magazine run by a publishing house. I didn't get paid for it. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of places in Holland where you can publish your writing - at least not if you write in the genres I write in. There is a science fiction magazine you can get published in, but you have to pay the magazine to get in. I think not. I have sent in a couple of my novels for publication and the last one I sent in got a really good return letter. Even though it was a rejection letter, the publisher said that he could see I had talent, but that the novel needed more editing than the editors had time to do. I don't have goals on writing.com other than just getting together with other writers and discussing writing topics. In the process, however, I have learned a lot about writing. Especially the 'show, don't tell' rule has helped me immensely. I find I use things I have learned on this site without even really thinking about it. I also find I have become a lot more critical of my own work... which isn't always a good thing. |
| What do you spend your Writing.com time doing? Do you spend more time entering contests, talking in forums, rating and reviewing, or just working on your own pieces? |
| I spend most of the time on Writing.com reviewing and talking in forums. Because I am Dutch, it takes me a lot of time to write a story in English. I have to look up a lot of words in the dictionary and I'm not as fluent in English as I am in Dutch. Therefore, my portfolio doesn't grow that quickly. Also, I'm working on my Dutch novel right now. Because of that I don't want to write too much in English, because that seems to decrease my vocabulary in Dutch: I do know the English word, but not the Dutch one. Not a very good thing for a writer. |
| Now, a chance to make a few plugs. Who are your favorite Writing.com authors? What are a couple of pieces, groups, forums, etc. that you recommend? If someone has never read your work before, what do you suggest they read first? |
I love the writings of Holly Jahangiri   . She is a great author. She's also the winner of the Oak Cliff Review Winner Takes All Contest, with her story "Invalid Item"  . Definitely something to check out.Others are my fellow science fiction and fantasy writers, among whom drakeborn, SherrasQ , Jaren is Avarielle and Petronella60 -on hiatus . They are all outstanding writers and great reviewers. They are also part of the group "Longswords, Lasers, & Literature: CLOSED" , led by Problematic Content , which is a great reviewing group for science fiction, fantasy and other weird literature.As for my own stories: if people haven't read my stories yet, I would recommend starting with "Invalid Item" or "Invalid Item" . The first is the latest story I have completed on this site. It leans toward strange or supernatural fiction and is a story, mainly, about family. The second is a story that is a little more horror in nature, and it is the story that I love the most. |
| I think we've about covered my writing-related questions for you. Now for the interesting questions... What is the strangest and/or most interesting dream or nightmare you can remember? Have you ever had any dreams that have come true? |
| I hardly ever have nightmares. Sometimes I have dreams in which I'm falling into some dark abyss, dreams that make me wake up in the middle of the night, but never anything spectacular. As for interesting dreams: I still remember one I had when I was somewhere between ten and twelve. I was sitting in a boat going down a small river, and a friend of mine and a boy with wings (not an angel) were in the boat with me. On one side of the river was a forest with a wide pebblestone beach, on which my mother was standing. On the other side of the river was a factory, surrounded by a huge fence. The grounds were dirty and unkempt and I knew there was something horrible in there that we had to go to. My mother was screaming at me from the beach: "Don't go in there!" But I didn't listen. The next thing I knew we were inside hiding behind huge canisters that probably contained oil or at least something slick and greasy. Huge trolls were passing us, all of them hunchbacked and ugly. That is as far as I can remember the dream. But since that dream occurred almost fifteen years ago, I think it's safe to say that's the most interesting I remember. I have never had dreams that came true. I know of people who have, but I'm not psychic, fortunately. (I've written an essay on why I'm so thrilled I'm not psychic: "Boo! Or my brush with the supernatural".) |
| That is definitely an interesting dream. These next two questions are similar. What is the most strange/interesting piece of information about yourself? What is the most controversial thing about you? |
| Sorry to disappoint you there, but I am not at all controversial or strange. The most interesting thing about me is that I write, and considering the mass amounts of manuscripts that a publishing house gets every year, that's not even as interesting as it sounds. Aside from the occasional car accident, nothing strange ever happens to me - in fact, that accident (got hit by a car last year and cut the skin of my forehead on the asphalt) was probably the most interesting thing that has ever happened to me. In general, I have a very quiet life. |
| Describe your ideal date/mate (physical description, personality, etc.) or, if you'd rather be alone, explain why. |
| Phew, talk about a difficult question. This is something I discuss all the time with my friends, and we always agree our standard for potential boyfriends is way too high. My standards are as follows. Physical appearance: as long as he's not really ugly (which means: bad skin, bad teeth, fat, or just... really plain), I don't care. I love scruffy beards, though. Not the folk singer kind. Personality: I would prefer a person who isn't much like me, who has interests that I don't have, such as an interest for computers or technology. I have no interest whatsoever in either of these things, which also means that when my computer crashes, there's nothing I can do about it. Not being like me also means it has to be a more outgoing person, who drags me to a pub every now and again. Even though I very much enjoy company, I am not very comfortable around a lot of strangers, unless I'm with someone I know through and through. Having a boyfriend who likes being around people can help me feel more at ease. In short: it would be handy having someone around to fill in my blanks. I would also need for this person to understand my love for writing and reading. It often happens that I tell people I'm reading this excellent, 1400-page book, and they ask me: 'Are you bored, or something?' with this look of pity on their faces, as if the fact that I like to read must mean I have no social life. That just makes me furious and sad at the same time; the latter mainly because they apparently have no idea how great reading can be. I couldn't stand being around someone who wanted my attention all the time when I just want to snuggle up in a corner with the new Stephen King. Or someone who gets in the way when I am just about to write this really great paragraph. I want someone who knows when to leave me alone. One main thing that I need for this person to be: on the same level as me. I have had boyfriends who changed all their interests, and suddenly liked exactly what I liked. I really hate that. I have also had boyfriends who only cared about their own interests and were absolutely not interested in mine. I hate that as well. So far for my boyfriend standards. My perfect date would be one where we'd sit in a booth in some cozy place like an Italian restaurant I know, eating something I love and with a lot of people enjoying themselves at the tables around us, creating a cozy, warm atmosphere. Afterwards perhaps we'd go to a movie that we both wanted to see. I'm really looking forward to 'Troy', 'Harry Potter - the Prisoner of Azkaban' and 'The Day after Tomorrow'. Any prospective boyfriend of mine would do me a huge favour taking me there. He would also do me a huge favour by pretending he doesn't want to get in my pants. I realise that might not be completely true, but for me to feel respected it would definitely help. I hate it when men are all over you on a date. Save that for next time... Now I feel I'm answering to that ad anyway. |
| Okay, now for a fairly cheesy one: If you could be any animal (including a mythical/extinct one) what would you choose to be and why? |
| A cat. They seem to spend the entire day sleeping and walking around. I´d like to be that relaxed. |
| Since that last question was a little silly, we'll move on to something a little more serious. Explain your faith/religious beliefs. Do you believe in a god or gods? Do you identify yourself with a particular religion (i.e., Christianity, Islam, Judaism, etc.)? Do you attend religious services? Is what you believe now different than what your parents believe(d)? |
| Wow... do we have the room to discuss this? Let´s see. Me and faith have a very complicated history. As I mentioned before, my father is an Atheist (not an anti-theist, as he frequently points out; he´s just not interested in religion). His father, my grandfather, was a reverend in a reformed church. He was a ´fire and brimstone´ kind of preacher, who believed in strictness and obedience. My father, being a child of the sixties and seventies and also not possessing much of an obedient character, didn´t really agree on that. I think that´s the main reason he dropped religion entirely. My mother used to be an atheist, but now is one of the people who believes ´there´s something out there´. My father and my grandfather have had the most influence on me, regarding religion. Of course, with my father being an atheist, my brother and I weren´t baptised, which my grandfather hated. So he and my grandmother did everything in their power to teach us their beliefs anyway. Every time we went there to sleep over, they took us to church, which I always found extremely boring, and also, the questions I posed there never fit in. (I remember this one time when the leader of the children´s group asked us what we would take with us if we had to spend forty years in the desert. I told him I would like to take my subscription to the newspaper, figuring that I would still have contact with the outside world, and someone would have to come over every day to deliver it. His face got very sour.) My grandparents taught us how to pray (starting with ´now I lay me down to sleep´), they taught us about Noah and Moses and Jesus. Most of it stuck by me, mainly because I´m a sucker for a good story. (Hey, I´m a writer, aren´t I?) I was fascinated by religion and read books on the subject, most of which were about reincarnation and the afterlife, which would have given my grandfather a coronary. I read about Jesus´ life, about Siddharta Gautama´s reaching of the Buddha state, about Mohammed being taken to Jerusalem by the Archangel Gabriel. (I also read books on self-hypnosis, handwriting analysis and mind-reading.) But I never really saw religion as a part of myself, a part of my life, because religion in my family was something people used when they felt they had lost control of the world and had to cling to something. I did believe there was something ´out there´, but regarded it much the same as I regard the seasons, which just ´are´ without it really having more effect on your life other than how you dress. I didn´t really change that attitude toward religion until almost two years ago. I had been church-shopping, but that got boring very quickly, because I just didn´t agree with any of the churches I visited. Then around Christmas - I know how corny that sounds - I decided I would go to the Baptist church service on Sunday. Just out of curiosity. So I went, and the people there were very friendly, and not ´clingy´ at all. The introduced me to the Alpha course, a series of gatherings in which they tell you something about Christianity and you can discuss it with others. I joined up. I think I scared them. I asked so many questions, I was so skeptical; I don´t think they had ever had someone like me following the course. Even so, I developed an interest in religion again. The main reason for that was the reasonings of the believers of that church. ´The Bible is true. How do you know? Because the Bible is of divine origin. How do you know? Because it says so in the Bible. And the Bible is true.´ I mean, come on. If religion was a science, they would get laughed at. I wanted to know more. After the course was over, I kept going to church. Even though the singing and the message didn´t appeal to me, I had to see if I could put my faith in religion. Pun intended. I don´t go as much, now. I have decided that for now, Christianity doesn´t appeal to me. I sing in the Gospel choir because I love to sing and I believe in God, even if I don´t believe in the whole Jesus-died-for-our-sins-thing. The reasoning behind Christianity is just off, I think. Why would we need to be forgiven for this first sin, with Eve and the apple in the garden, when there was no garden and no apple? I firmly believe that life was developed slowly, not just put there. Sentience, perhaps, was put there, evolution might not be coincidence alone, but I don´t believe in an omnipotent God that would create man, knowing what he is capable of, and then break into a fit of rage and kick them out of Paradise for being what they are - what he has made them. I believe that God is ´there´, like the seasons, which, it turns out, effect you a lot more than just in your clothing. (Many people get winter depression because there isn´t enough sun during the winter. People seem to develop more relationships in summer than in winter. A shower after a long period of drought can lighten up everyone´s mood. Etcetera, etcetera.) I don´t think I believe in a God that is ´up there´ in heaven, but rather a God that is everywhere, inside everything and everyone. I don´t believe in the devil, I don´t believe in Hell. I think the evil inside us is just ignorance and fear. People can be evil, yes, but it´s people doing ugly things, not some mystical force that devotes every waking minute to making people do those things. We always have a choice between doing the right thing and the wrong thing, and it´s up to us what we choose. And it´s also up to us what we consider wrong and right. I´m sure my idea of right is just slightly different from yours. It´s always us, making a choice - and God will love us whatever we choose. Shocking, yes - and I`m sure my views on that particular twist of my faith would change the moment I became a victim of a rapist or if someone murdered a member of my family. I´m not a saint, I´m not above hatred or the need for vengeance. But I think in that regard, I strongly believe in forgiveness the way the Christians do. If I ever got raped, or someone murdered my family, I would try to get them in prison, but my first priority would be to stop being so angry. Anger is a destructive emotion. It leaves you exhausted and unable to create. I think we were put on this earth not to learn, as some believe, but to create, to make beauty and love. Does that sound very sappy? That´s probably the reason I went looking for religion in the Christian churches, because their teachings are a lot about love. And also because I´m a lazy git and the Baptist church was closest to my home. Anyway, bottom line, I´m still looking and I´m still curious. Which is why, starting in September, I´ll be starting Theology at the Theological University nearby. My grandfather got all emotional when I told him that. My father just shrugged and said: "Just do whatever makes you happy." Funny how in the end, nobody´s opinions matter but your own. |
| Thanks for the honest and thorough response. To wrap things up, could you share some advice or words of wisdom (on any subject) that you'd like to leave with us? Also, this is your opportunity to add anything you felt was left out. |
| ´Words of wisdom´... nah, don´t have them. I´m a journalist - I´m all for quotes. So I´d like to leave you with this one, that can also be found in my port. It´s one by Bishop Abel Muzorewa, the first black prime minister of Zimbabwe, chosen in the year of my birth. He was also one of the founders of the United African Nationalist Council (UANC), which refused to use violence in the middle of the ongoing civil war, as opposed to the ZANU party, lead by Robert Mugabe. His government didn´t last long and in the end, Mugabe became president. You must know how much chaos that country is in now, which makes his words carry even more weight. People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind. Think big anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People really need help but may attack if you help them. Help people anyway. Give the world the best you have and you might get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you've got anyway. |
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