The Universe is Indifferent

MAY 29 ENTRY: My neighbor has a bumper sticker that reads: "Remember Who You Wanted To Be." On the first day, (today) write about how you saw your life turning out from the perspective of your younger self. Where were you going to live? What job were you going to have? Etc.


“In youth, it was a way I had,
To do my best to please.
And change, with every passing lad
To suit his theories.

But now I know the things I know
And do the things I do,
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Complete Poems of Dorothy Parker


As kids, most of us want to be something. Superman, Batman, a pilot, a sports star come to my mind. People tell me "You were born old! You never did the things kids do." I guess this was true in this case too. I was strangely realistic even back then. I never believed in Santa Claus, never, I knew I was (still am!) clumsier than a bear so sports were out of the question too. I guess I was just happy, taking each day as it came, living life...

Then came teenage.Decide what you want to do early, I was told. The best part was that everyone around me told me "do whatever you want, but you should focus on becoming a/an ---" I don't remember when I decided I wanted to be an engineer. I was above average in studies, not brilliant but pretty good. So I guess that was an obvious choice almost. Everyone was happy around me, the first engineer of the family(to-be anyway). I was also happy, on the outside. I mean I liked computers, programming, gadgetry et al, so it seemed the right choice for me, didn't it?

Another thing that I liked to do was write, though I never really saw myself as a writer. I never believed. I started writing, I mean besides the class assignments, quite late. Tenth grade, if my memory isn't playing tricks. I was encouraged by my English teacher, whom I have mentioned in one of my entries, but I never really saw myself writing in the future. I used to wonder, is writing even a viable profession anymore? Mind over heart.

Anyway, I pursued "my dream" of engineering. Even though I was touted to reach unforeseen echelons, I fell, hard!

Wanna hear the rest? Stick around till tomorrow...