"A Problem Page For All!"

I'm going away for a week tonight with Moana (friend who was formerly going to Queensland and is now settling with boyfriend in north Victoria). It's kinda interesting since it's going to be her boyfriend's house, but I like her boyfriend better than her boyfriend of 3 years that she got together with while we were both still in High School and was that really so long ago already??

I should be happy. I really should. But all I can think about was the break down into tears last night after my work where I came back for the first shift of the year and was told that I was being laid off for half of my shifts and it wasn't just becuase he wanted less people on one night; it was because he was replacing me with someone he thought could do it better; AND I was being paid $3 less than every other person working there.

I just felt so worthless, so put down upon. I didn't really think I deserved that. I mean, yeah, i know I make mistakes, and usually I'm the first one to admit it, but he only ever looks at the bad things I do and never compliments me and I really wonder if it is even worth it for me to keep on working there if this is the way I am to be seen.

Then of course, the way that my brilliant mind works, I started dwelling on other things that I don't do so greatly. I don't think that I'm the best girlfriend to Ian. I think I make him miserable sometimes and I don't even mean it. I don't think I am much good at all in my Visual Arts course that I am starting up for again in about 3 weeks time and even when I scrape a pass, it's because I've really had to work at it.

In a word, I feel pretty worthless right now. Hopefully this week away with straighten me out.