Red Opium.

This weekend I'm flying back to see my family. My sister is in a high school play, so I'm going to see her... and also my Dad and my brother.

My cousin is going to see the play too... she's at the college I used to go to now. I'm going to drive over and pick her up.

I haven't been back in a year... and left a disgrace. I was depressed all the time and had gotten pretty heavily into SI and then started to ignore my classes, jobs, and other normal responsibilities. I decided to leave, and then two weeks later got the official notice that I had been kicked out because of academic standing. (I had failed too many classes.)

I've already told my ex that I don't want to see him... so I don't have to worry about that. But my college friends will all want to visit... and it scares me so much.

Seeing my family again makes me nervous too, but they have always supported me, and I believe they always will because of the shit they've stayed with me through. The friends I've mostly lost touch with from school though....

Finding it difficult to breathe tonight.

Megan