Writer's Fallout Shelter

Greetings to all. My wife thinks I am a great writer and that if I ever finish my book it will sell. This is my first attempt at writing and I'm not sure where I stand. A couple of people have scanned my port but all I ever get back is errors I have made.

Right now the book is in raw form(no edits or quotation marks etc.) but if someone could tell me what they think of the STORY I would be grateful. It has 4 parts and I have a few more to post but right now I am kinda blocked and unsure of my abilities. I could also use some ideas for a title.Someone PLEASE help!!!!

Untitled so far - Suggestions?  (13+) This is about the pitfalls of a superstar athlete who is trying to remain true to himself. #984020 by Kingfan

All things are possible through the All Mighty Lord!