Disability, Chronic pain, illness Forum

Pain management is one thing never had to worry about. I normally just try and work through it. The thing that bothers me right now is my nerves that I have never been able to manage very well. Every time I get upset or worried about anything at all my nerves set in so bad I end up not being able to keep food down. The reason I bring this up is a few months ago I ween to my kidney doctor who ran some test and seemed to think my kidneys were failing so he wanted me to see yet another kidney doctor to be sure. As he told me this I had always knew my kidneys could fail even from birth i knew it. It was always something I just lived with knowing but put on the back burner due to how my grandma tought me to think and how she gave me that strong faith in God that i would fool everyone. For many years I have done just that so i put it out of my mind till a few months ago. Hearing yet again that i could be in seriouse trouble sent me in to over drive panic mode. The shock of it was like a slap in the face. The good news in it all i was told if the new doctor thought I was in trouble I could have a transplant that in and of it's self was a god send. Last week thinking I would know for sure about my kidney was a living dread for me and at best a releif only to find out I had to have more test before I would be sure of what I was facing. Here I am again scared to know the truth and needing to know at the same time. I will not know a thing till February 22nd of how things are with it and even that day is like a slap in the face because it is the Birthday of the monster that helped mom give life to me and in the same breath after i was born wanted me dead. I already told mom if I am able to have the transplant and they say I need it I am taking it. I feel God is not done with me yet. I need from you all advice on if you thnink at the age of 37 you think I am crazy for taking the wrisk? Thanks in advance. Angela Michelle Adams.