House of Reviews

Couple of minor things--"Billie" Holiday is the singer's name. Also, I noticed you used the word "recounted" when I think you meant "recalled" or another similar word. "Recounted" implies something told or written. Maybe you want to say "recounted to herself."

Also, I'd avoid the over-use of Mildred's last name--it really doesn't add anything, and comes off a little heavy-handed.

I like how you impart information about Mildred's life. It flows naturally, and each section of the story has a purpose. I do think you could combine the first two sections--the lead-in to the discovery of the photo of Ben and Nicky is a bit long. Actually, what you might want to do--following that age-old advice to start the story as near to the end as possible--Is BEGIN with her finding the photo and becoming upset. She can put it away, and as she goes through all the other junk you can tell us about Jimmy and Nicky and Ben, Nicky's and Jimmy's fathers, etc. I think that would focus the story better and move it along more briskly.

Thanks for posting this, and for your patience. I'm sorry I took so long to look at this.

RJ