House of Reviews

Sorry to take so long in getting back to you on this.

Your writing is very vivid and solid, full of good sensory detail. I also like the transformation of the two ghosts at the end.

What I think needs work is the sense of conflict in the story. The narrator does not seem to struggle with his guilt--he's mainly grossed out and scared for himself. The sudden cessation of hauntings, and their equally sudden resumption, doesn't seem to relate to anything else in the story. Do I understand correctly that she stopped haunting him, but his nightmares continued without her? If that's the case, that's an interesting point that should be developed. In that case, he really would have internalized his guilt. Maybe she stopped coming because he finally "got it" about what he had done, and began punishing his own psyche with nightmares? The reappearance would then make sense--they have come back to help him get free.

Anyway, I would work on developing his struggle with himself. Good luck with this. Thanks for posting.

RJ