Calling All Teens

Hey, my name's Louise and I've been struggling to write my first assingment for a 'writing for children' course, which covers young adults and teens, like yourselves. The assignment is to write a short story or opening chapter for an 11 year old girl, and the course teaches that you should only write about something the reader (in this case, an 11 year old girl) would enjoy, and that you should start with experiences she'd be familiar with and move onto unknown experiences.

Do you think this plot idea does that?

Starts with main character, 11 year old Hannah, at her best friend Lucy's house getting ready for the school disco, chatting about boys, make-up etc.

Next the girls arrive at the school disco, Hannah looks around for her crush, Byron but can't see him anywhere. She's a little disappointed but starts having a good time anyway

Part-way through the disco, Hannah leaves the hall to go to the toilet, but she hears running footsteps down the coridoor and, curious, follows them. She stumbles across two men arguing about one of them losing something they're trying to catch. She starts to back away, the men haven't seen her, but then she sees her crush hiding under a table, but he looks different somehow. He sees her and shakes his head, he looks terrified. Then she notices what's different: he has wings. Hannah knows that the men could find him at any moment, so she runs towards them, kicks them in the shins as hard as she can, then turns and runs back towards the school hall.

Byron sneaks out from his hiding place and hurries in the other direction. The door to one of the playgrounds is very close, he rushes out of it and flies.

Meanwhile, Hannah is running away from the men. She can hear them following her, getting closer, she dives into a classroom and hides under the desk furthest from the door. She hears something outside, looks up, and sees Byron, hovering outside the window. He's beckoning to her. Just as she jumps up to go to the window, the men appear in the classroom. Hannah struggles with the window, the men are getting closer, then she forces it open, and climbs through. Byron takes her hand and flies off with her, leaving the men reaching out of the window.

When they land, Byron tells Hannah that he's not what she thought he was, that he's been posing as a schoolboy to hide from the Catchers, but now that they've found him he and his family have to leave. He takes her back to the school gates. As he says goodbye, he gives her one of his feathers to remember him by and to say thankyou. They kiss, Hannah's first, and he flies away. A moment later the rest of the school come out: the disco has finished. Lucy asks Hannah where she's been all night, but Hannah hides the feather and says she's been around.

Thanks for your help

Louise
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