Something Awful Comes This Way!

Prompt#1

"O Husband dear"  in the "Pathetically Awesome Poetry" 
O Husband Dear
Sung to the tune of the carol "O Christmas Tree"

O Husband Dear! O Husband Dear!
Your sermons are such a bore.
O Husband Dear! O Husband Dear!
Your sermons are such a bore.
Not only you shout when I shop in glee,
You say the same when I'm home so free.
O Husband Dear! O Husband Dear!
Your sermons are such a bore.

O Husband Dear! O Husband Dear!
You need a mind transplant.
O Husband Dear! O Husband Dear!
You need a mind transplant.
To understand my oh-so-pious life,
to respect the shopping as a killer of strife.
O Husband Dear! O Husband Dear!
You need a mind transplant.

O Husband Dear! O Husband Dear!
Your ways are such a disaster.
O Husband Dear! O Husband Dear!
Your ways are such a disaster.
Never have you kept a thing in its place,
Four days old socks, smelly underwear too...yikes!
O Husband Dear! O Husband Dear!
Your ways are such a disaster.

O Husband Dear! O Husband Dear!
I am so done with you.
O Husband Dear! O Husband Dear!
I am so done with you.
You complaint about those lying bags,
at least they are better than the trash you stack.
O Husband Dear! O Husband Dear!
I am so done with you.


Prompt#2
"Silent Night"  in the "Pathetically Awesome Poetry" 
Silent Night
Sung to the tune of Carol "Silent Night"

Silent night, beautiful night.
All is calm, all is right.
Except my nose which runs so fast.
my hankie is equally aghast.
Let me rest please.
Let me rest please.

Silent night, beautiful night.
All is silent, everything so quiet.
Except these fucking sneezes,
which flood my nose with seas.
Get me some medicine please.
Get me some medicine please.

Silent night, beautiful night
when my chest seems so tight.
Another cough wracks my body ,
my thoughts are growing so foggy.
My end is near is what I feel.
My end is near is what I feel.