Something Awful Comes This Way!

I Can't Take This Anymore!
sung to the tune of "Do You Hear What I Hear?"


Said the drunk man to his winsome wife
I can't believe what I see
You look like a cow, winsome wife
I can't believe what I see
A chunky chick
Such an ugly sight
With an ass that could block the moon's light
With an ass that could block the moon's light

Said the winsome wife to her new attorney
I can't take this anymore
Abuse through drunken lips, dear attorney
I can't take this anymore
Shameful remarks
Everywhere we go
With a voice like one giant schmo
With a voice like one giant schmo

Said the new attorney to the divorce judge
She deserves half of everything
He don't need a palace, divorce judge
She deserves half of everything
A wife, a wife
Wounded like a gnome
Let her have his double-wide mobile home
Let her have his double-wide mobile home

Said the judge to jackasses everywhere
I'm only gonna say this once
Be nicer to your wives, everywhere
I'm only gonna say this once
The cop, the cop
Waiting down the street
Doesn't want to see you mistreat
Or he will be happy to beat you in discreet


O Flatulence
sung to the tune of "O Christmas Tree"


O Flatulence! O Flatulence!
Thy smells are so distrusting;
O Flatulence! O Flatulence!
Thy vibrations so disgusting;
Not only when I eat something queer,
But also when I just drink beer.
O Flatulence! O Flatulence!
My butt's forever busting!

O Flatulence! O Flatulence!
Such displeasure in my panties;
O Flatulence! O Flatulence!
You've ruined so many parties;
How long will I endure Flatulence
I've been plagued since my twenties,
O Flatulence! O Flatulence!
I only wish to hear silence!

Christmas Carol Parodies  (18+) Round 4 in Something Awful Comes This Way! #1908283 by Ren the Klutz!