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Topic 1 - Pet hates sung to the tune of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer I hate just about everything That it’s possible to hate Dogs that poo poo in my yard Then don’t even close my gate. Some of my other pet hates Is my dentist’s shiny nose  Slow internet connections Wives who step on husband’s toes. Ouch! I hate fog and I hate snow Shop assistants who lie “That will look real cool on him” When Aunt Maud’s choosing my tie. Hate kids who drive too close up Hate Reality TV But I really  my MommyFor all the stuff she’s done for me.  Awwwwww!Topic 2 - Bodily dysfunction Let It Flow! sung to the tune of Let It Snow Oh, the weather outside is frightful, And my nose with snot is quite full, Got no hanky in which I can blow, oh! Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow! It doesn't show signs of stopping, All over the floor it keeps dropping; It's best if I bend way down low, oh! Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow. When we finally say good night, I'll try to sniff it up while we kiss; But if you squeeeeze me really tight, It streams out with a hissssss The fire is slowly dying, Everything's wet, though you're trying Both of my nostrils to sew. Aw, to heck with it ...! Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow! |
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