Something Awful Comes This Way!

"A Christmas Story by the Wizard" 

Bilbo rolled his eyes at the bimbo,
a Fox channel Barbie, under the mistletoe
waiting for her Ken at the dawn of faerie
but it was the dominion of men, a time eerie.
So Bilbo said to me, “Gandalf, do something!”
I already had my problems to bring
to the table with thirteen dwarves
for twelve days of Christmas, all without scarves.
But, why not? One dwarf per day in Xmas.
The thirteenth one for Bimbo, a tall miss.
Yet, how can a dwarf reach and kiss,
someone that proud and pompous?
Thus, the thirteenth one went to help Santa’s elves
But he fell and broke his arm, arranging shelves.
Thank God, Elrond came up with a solution
washing me up with absolution.
The sage sent Gollum from the underground lake
for the kiss from Bimbo’s lips to take.
Eeeek! was Bimbo’s scream
as Gollum ended her dream.

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