The Universe is Indifferent

MAY 14 ENTRY: Do you have any scars? Tell us about them.

*Fiction*

I wear only turtlenecks now,
Long sleeved ones,
Everyday.
It's not because I like them,
But they hide the scars,
My scars of shame,
Where I tried to cut myself...

When people these scars,
They don't ask me
"What was bothering you dear?"
"How are you now?"
They just walk away,
Assuming that I am crazy.
Some feel sorry,
But then they accuse me of being reckless,
"Nothing is big enough to give up the gift of life", they say,
I just smile wryly because all they do is judge.

They don't know me, or what I've been through,
The number of nights I cried all alone in my room,
The countless hours I spent trying to figure out a way,
A way, any other way.
They haven't a clue about the abuse,
Emotional, physical et al,
By strangers, friends and family alike.
About my loneliness, my depression,
They don't know my hell,
And yet, they judge...

I heard a few call me 'Turtleneck Guy' the other day,
Whispering behind my back,
Knowing fully well that I could hear them.
But I've decided to let the past go,
To not let it become my identity.
I won't wear a turtleneck tomorrow,
Let them say whatever they want to,
Screw the world, for all I care...

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“Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I'm not perfect
-and I don't live to be-
but before you start pointing fingers...
make sure you hands are clean!”
- Bob Marley