FIVE STAR POETRY CONTEST:editor's choice

This isn't a poem but it is about poetry. I own and edit Mid-Ohio Valley Poetry, a magazine in Parkersburg WV. It is about to fold because we lack subscribers and funding to pay our bills. The following describes the magazine. Maybe you will want to subscribe and help us stay afloat.

Mid-Ohio Valley Poetry is a quarterly magazine that is available by subscription only. It contains some of the best poetry in the world as well as short Stories. One of the columns we have is Bob Foley's Fish Stories. It is about an angler named Bob and his hilarious adventures. Bob encounters all sorts of mythical creatures with hilarious results. In one story he meets a pixie. Pixies are of course, like fairies except they are mischievous. The pixie tells Bob she will grant any wish he wants to make but warns him there will be a negative consequence with the wish. One wish Bob makes is to cool down some. The result of that wish is that the pixie causes a tub of ice water to materialize above him and douses him with it.
Bob also has an encounter with a dynamite toting, talking Bigfoot who uses the dynamite to fish with. When Bob objects to this Bigfoot lights a stick of dynamite and places it in Bob's hand. Bob continues to argue and Bigfoot replies "Are you going to argue… or fish?
The magazine also has a true story section, a science-fiction section, a Christian poetry section with some very moving poetry as well as Kathern Nemmec's column. Folks this lady can write! Her preaching is right on the money. She was a missionary for 25 years so she knows how to preach.
Then we have added some new columns such as the adventures of Smitty. Smitty is an iron worker and tells of the many hilarious antics he has seen as an iron worker. Our purpose is to keep the audience guessing what type of iron worker Smitty is. We'll see how it goes. In one story Smitty goes to a house to install railing. The lady of the house doesn't speak English and the husband isn't home. As Smitty installs the railing the woman keeps trying to communicate and becomes quite animated. When the husband finally arrives he informs Smitty that he has installed the railing at the wrong house! The man likes it so much he decides to keep it and that saves the day.
We also have a Mid-Ohio Valley Poetry Fairy Tale section. These fairy tales tell you what happens after the original story however. For example in one story Hansel and Gretel decide to rehabilitate witches. Another thing our fairy tales do is allow the characters to use modern technology. The results are hysterically funny. For example you should read what happens when the Three Billy Goats Gruff arm the youngest goat with a taser to defend against the troll in Big Brother's absence!
Of course Mid-Ohio Valley Poetry also has poetry. Our poems are labeled with what form they are so the reader knows whether they are reading a sonnet, roundel, triolet, or what.
The magazine sells for $30.00 per year and is available in hard copy or e-format.
Of course for those in business Mid-Ohio Valley Poetry offers a terrific platform for advertising with rock bottom pricing. For example a 6" x 5" ad is only $20.00. A half-page ad is $40.00 and a full page ad id $60.00. We have a circulation of under 1,000 but plan to remedy that shortly. We are partnering with Google and Constant Contact to increase our subscribers volume. We hope to become a magazine big enough to compete with big names like People and Time. We dream big and usually obtain our dreams.


MarvinDSchrebe