October Novel Prep Challenge

They actually have a physiological term for this kind of person. Borderline Personality Disorder. They aren't trying to manipulate through their indecision, but they do.

These people are more likely to be in abusive relationships, more likely to be cutters, to attempt to commit suicide. They tend to gravitate toward dominant people. You can find them crawling all over every BDSM board on the net.

A few will understand that it is a coping mechanism they use to feel safe. Most won't. Those that understand what they are doing, don't really have the disorder. They have a coping mechanism that they can use at will. It was a skill I learned changing schools as often as I did. How to hide in plain sight while learning everyone's tells so you know what not to do and what to do to stay out of trouble and manipulate people into liking the "new girl". When all else failed, make the likes and dislikes of the person your with your own and honestly believe it in the moment.

People who really have the disorder have no idea that what they are doing is manipulative. They are just being honest about their own limitations. However, call them on it and don't give them what they need and they will find someone else who will.

I was wobbling on the edge of having the actual disorder when I met Clanbear His way of handling me was to call me on it. Can't make up your mind? Fine I will make your decisions for you. He did that until I had healed enough emotionally, I could see that it wasn't fair to either of us and started doing everything but what he told me to.

I still have control issues. I still need to know someone is in control. If they aren't and I think its important enough not to let it go, then I will step in and take over. I don't care who is in charge as long as they are doing their job. But someone one has to be.