Novel Writing Brainstorming Forum

Okay, we can work with this. I'll just rattle off ideas as they come to me, but one point of clarification: I don't know what Sena's ability is - are we talking some sort of magic or supernatural ability, or is he just really strong?

Let's start with Sena.

Sena is a soldier, his father a general, so he comes from a military family. Mom came from the enemy race. You have some built-in internal conflict here, because both dad and Sena are highly disciplined and believe in authority and law, and yet mom/wife is the enemy. Is mom still around? What's she up to? Did she flee to her home country as a refugee when the war started? Is she dead? If dead, is it related to the war? If alive and living with dad, is she shunned or otherwise abused for her race?

Tory was the child of a prisoner. What did mom do? Was she a member of the "good guys" race or did she also come from the enemy race. Either way, what did she do to land herself in prison?

My initial thoughts while reading your comments was that the mothers could be tied together somehow. I don't know if you have their characters clearly worked out. Having them know each other could be construed as unrealistic, but if this is your primary plot, then not really, because that would be the thing that makes this story a story worth telling. Anyone could end up in prison and have a snotty jerkface of a supervisor, but nobody cares unless something interesting happens or there was some interesting link. Of all the prisoners and their supervisors in your civilization, surely one combination of them has some kind of historical connection, and maybe these two guys are it, and that's your story.

But it doesn't have to be a literal historical connection. What if they represent something? Say, for example, Tory's mom was in prison for being the wrong race, but Sena's mom gets to be the wrong race and live in relative safety and peace because her husband is a famous general. That would piss Tory off, because it's not fair. His whole life, Tory has had to deal with being a prisoner's kid while Sena has lived a life of luxury in the same situation, just because of who his father happens to be.

Maybe Sena hates Tory for being ashamed of his heritage. That could be cultural. How well developed is the culture of your enemy race, the race of Sena's mom? Maybe mom's race believes strongly in family and heritage, and Sena's pride reflects that culture. He doesn't understand a man who would be ashamed of his heritage (Tory with his tattoo) because that's just not done. You're supposed to respect your parents. So Sena thinks Tory is an utter brute for being so ashamed of his own mother. But the accusations piss Tory off, too, because Tory's mom died for him and he loves her more than anything in the world.

I feel all kinds of "yo mama" jokes coming on, lol...

More ideas here, maybe Sena's mom doesn't love him. Maybe the fact that Tory's mom died for him tears a hole in Sena so big it can never be repaired, because he already despairs over the fact that his mother hates him. Maybe mom and dad had a brief affair, and mom didn't want him, so he ended up growing up with his father. That might be hard to pull off given that he's proud of his maternal heritage, so if you went this route, dad would have to be a big supporter of mom or mom's race.

I'm not sure what all is going on in your facility, but your exciting scenes could be fight scenes between Tory and Sena. Tory is a prisoner and Sena the supervisor, so I imagine that's forbidden for Tory. Let's say they start with verbal arguments, and Sena uses his authority to punish Tory. Later, the fights get more aggressive, and so do the punishments.

Other ideas:
- Why is Sena in this job? He's forced to be the supervisor, but why? For a person who is defined by his accomplishments, this seems like punishment. Maybe he failed at some task and was demoted or given this menial task as a result. Therefore, he equates Tory with his own failure, and he is determined to be the best supervisor possible. That means that any time Tory gets even the slightest bit out of line, Sena goes nuts on him to get him back in shape. You have this growing tension where Tory is afraid to breathe wrong.

- Why is Tory in prison? And here's a key question: Why is he hopeless? His primary goal is survival, right? Is he going to die in prison? It seems like not having his freedom is a bummer, but not life-threatening (unless it is?), so he's accomplishing his goal. This might be the crux of your problem, why you're struggling with the scenes. Being in prison does not in any way oppose Tory's goal. In that case, you might need to do one of two things: (1) change his goal, or (2) threaten his survival. Is he on death row? Maybe he should be. Give him a conflict that really shakes him up, to the core of who he is.

- What if Tory's friends, the people from the village where he was a healer, try to rescue him? What if one or more of them are captured or die (dying is better unless you have future plans for the characters, because you don't have to worry that you've introduced new characters, plus you give Tory stronger motivation for his actions.) If his friends tried to break him out of the compound and died in the process, that would be like reliving his mother's death all over again. Think how tragic that would be - the second time in his life that someone died for his survival. Now he's going to be out for revenge.

Hopefully that gives you a few starting points, but let me know if you want more ideas. This stuff is super fun.


Cheers,
Michelle