Apologies for taking so long to respond. I got caught up in my work, and it ended up slipping my mind.
Looking back after writing it so long ago, I definitely noticed many places where referring to them as a singly group was simply unnecessary. The context of what I said earlier provided enough clues as to who I was indicating, so pointing it out again was just awkward. Same thing with naming characters; there's no reason to repeatedly state the name of the one character doing something in a paragraph.
I do appreciate the replies, though (wish I had said as much sooner), as they helped me catch these issues much later. I'm on my second edit of the first section of the book and I'm seeing many places where my writing is clunky. I'm glad I waited on doing this again until I had finished the first draft of the whole story, otherwise it would be an eternity before I saw its completion.
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