United in our Grief Forum.

When my father passed away, I felt I had to keep the grief inside, to be strong for the rest of the family. I cried only in private and I still find myself crying myself to sleep many a night four years after he had passed away. My father and I never really got along when I was young; he saw so much of himself in me that it frightened him. We finally began to bond near the end of his life. Just when he and I seemed to be the closest, he was gone. Today, I try my best to play my part in keep the family going. Now, when I look in the mirror, I see so much of my father that it frightens me. I had often asked the question, why now?? Why when we were just getting so close?

No, the pain of losing a parent does not go away. I found that sharing stories of the good times helps ease the pain. My dad would build what we could not afford to buy and he was quite good at it. I am now doing the same thing. Making life easier for my mom, one build at a time. I curtained off a corner of the living room and made a make shift port-a-potty room for my mom as she can't walk up and the stairs to the bathroom anymore. It gives her her dignity and privacy. I hoked up two hoses to two 2 liter bottles of water that run down to a two hose divider to give her running water to wash her hands. It's not perfect but its something dad would have done.