Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

What is the best and worst advice you've received regarding your mental health? What advice would you give to a friend struggling with the same issues as you? Is it even a good idea for a layman to give advice on mental health issues, or should that be left to the professionals?

I'll take pretty much any advice if I think the intention is genuinely good. I don't always agree with the advice I get, and depending on my mood, I might get inwardly annoyed af, but I try to be appreciative when someone takes the time to try to talk me through something or help me out.

There are a couple trends in advice that I've gotten that I especially don't enjoy though. I'm not religious. I know a lot of people here are, but I'm not. In my opinion, it's okay that you are and I'm not. I really dislike advice that is like, "Put it in God's hands." "God always has a plan." Those things don't work for a person who isn't religious. It would be like me telling you to spin around four times, place your palm on the ground, do a squat, and then tap a spoon against the wall. Like, it literally means nothing to me.

I also really hate when people decide that they're going to put things in perspective for me. Things like, "Well, when I was a kid, my parents threw me down a well." "You know, there are people in third world countries who don't even have beds." "So many people have it way worse, so you should be more appreciative."

Those things don't help. The religious advice goes in one ear and out the other. The who has it worse competition just makes me feel like shit because then I feel sorry for myself AND people in third world countries at the same time. It just adds a new negative element to the mix.

The best advice I've gotten has been from therapists, despite my love/hate relationship with them. "Talk back to your anxiety" was a good one. I mean, I guess I sort of did that anyway, but being told to do it made me feel less weird about doing it. When I get into a situation where my anxiety is just needling at me incessantly, I talk back to it in my head like, "No, dude, shut the fuck up, please." And that helps marginally, somehow.

"Deal with it like a physical illness" is good advice. It makes you more comfortable talking about it casually if you think of it the way you would something like allergies or whatever. My last therapist told me "give yourself grace" more. As in, don't beat myself up because I have different life experiences than other people, or because a decision I made turned out to be the wrong one.

If I were to give advice to someone struggling with a mental health issue. Let's see... A couple things I would say:

Be careful who you allow to support you. And yes, I do see it as an opportunity given when I allow someone to be a part of my support system. Not everyone is cut out to be supportive. Not everyone deserves that opportunity, and I don't think it's a responsibility that should be given lightly, no matter how desperate you get.

Do things. Vague advice, yeah. But do things. Even if it's the wrong thing. Remember that doing nothing is a decision too, and could easily be the wrong one.

Best,
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