Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

Reading everyone's comments, I realized I didn't answer this completely.


Whata SpoonStealer People can be real asses when it comes to weight. Their is an assumption that it comes from laziness, but those who are educated know that there are a huge amount of reasons it happens. An under active thyroid is most often the case or like you with the meds. Sucks that their ignorance causes you not to want to go out to eat. Why shouldn't you enjoy treating yourself at a nice restaurant?! I say, fuck them, go enjoy a nice meal out. Though, that is easier said than done. If you are hyper-aware of attitudes, then it is not an enjoyable experience.

My weight comes and goes depending on how active I am. When depressed I eat less, yet gain more weight, go figure. I still have not lost all the weight from my 2016 depression. It seems that I've just maintained my fat. My saying is that the fat holds everything up. If I lost it, now that I'm older everything would fall.


Prosperous Snow celebrating I love your advice. If you have not experienced it yourself, listen for support. Most of the time that is really what someone needs. Sometimes people just need to speak out-loud to unjumble the thoughts in their head, to find their own solutions or just to vent.


Choconut I totally agree with your thoughts on the laymen giving advice. Especially when it comes to meds, I would think that if you had taken it and there were issues, you could definitely bring that to their attention. Of course different meds work differently for others, but still it could be something that they could question their doctor about.




Advice I would give- Honestly, I've personally avoided medication, but I would never suggest that in another. Typically, I do not give advice. Instead, I tend to share something about myself that relates to some degree and share what worked for me. My thoughts are that we are all different and at different levels of recovery when it comes to trauma stuff. Some just are not ready for particular steps and that is alright. Pushing people beyond what their psyche is ready for can be damaging.

Best advice I would have for someone is to make sure they have a support network and to learn how to communicate with those that are around them. Like, if you need to step away and gather yourself a lot of times, do that, but make sure to come back and explain. Or, if you have issues with panic attacks, let them know. Those who care will be understanding. If you don't communicate, sometimes people misunderstand. Like for example, sometimes my youngest daughter will think I am mad at her when I hide to gather myself. Letting her know that it had nothing to do with her is important.

I would also suggest to find an outlet that gives a finished product they can be proud of, whatever that happens to be. It could be knitting, painting, sculpting, or whatever. That sense of accomplishment is a way of nurturing ourselves.

The worst advice I have gotten is "just get over that shit". It doesn't work that way and it is an ignorant thing to say to someone who struggles with any issues. I mean, when you develop all kinds of triggers and wounds from damage in childhood, it is not like you can just say, "oh, I'm over it.". There is a process of healing that varies between each individual.

Many times those who are not prone to depression sometimes just do not understand why someone can not "just get over it" and they tend to see it as more self-pity. I can only speak from my own personal experiences, but it is not self-pity for me, it is more like self-degradation. Those who come from healthy families where they learned healthy self-esteem struggle with understanding that. Knowing that helps me to be more forgiving for ignorance.

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