Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

D'you know what? It really kind of pisses me off when I see people on TV, or whatever, saying you have to forgive people for the wrongs they've done to you. You have to let go and move one. Really? Umm ... nope. I do not forgive my grandfather, and I never will. Does that bother me? No. Because forgiving him would be like saying it was okay, and it was not. He fucked with my life way too much to ever deserve forgiveness. But, does that stop me moving on? Well, the forgiveness part doesn't. He's dead. He's in the past. And I'm happy with that. I'll never be over it, though. But forgiving him wouldn't make that happen.

My Dad, though. He screwed me over in a different kind of way, but his actions were equally devastating. However, I do forgive him. Only in the last few years of his life. I mean, we were really close in so many ways. So our relationship wasn't just toxic. It was good in some ways, as well. After he was diagnosed with cancer, we became even closer, and that's when I really understood and forgave him. It's a shame it happened so late. But I'm glad it did happen. If I'm honest, though, there are parts of his behaviour that I haven't totally forgiven. Not when I really think about them.

I think the only person we should really try to forgive is ourselves. For the mistakes we've made (which, if you're like me, are many). For the people we've hurt. Don't give ourselves a free pass to continue hurting in the same way, but do give ourselves a break.